“Thank you, Asia. That is very kind of you.” Kennedy nodded to Asia, but her thoughts were on Asher. It didn’t miss her attention that he remained very quiet. Curiosity spun in her head, and she wondered what shape his thoughts were taking.
Casey pulled in a large breath and let it out. “Last, Kennedy, tomorrow I’m taking you to meet your parents. Our parents. No matter what happens, you have the right to know who your real parents are and how much they love you.” His gaze swept the room.
The room got quiet, the wind gusting outside the only sound.
“Thank you for that, Casey. I am excited to meet them. But honestly, a little scared. They might not like me.”
The room filled with various forms of support. Something she was unaccustomed to. It warmed her heart.
Asher’s voice in her ear overrode all the others. “I like you, sweetheart.”
• • •
Asher’s bedside clock told Kennedy it was five in the morning. Early.
She lay on her side in bed watching Asher sleeping. The blankets lay casually across his midsection, exposing his chest. One of his legs lay free of blankets, exposing his skin.
This closeness to someone she ventured to trust was a new and pleasurable thing.
Her fingers itched to caress his cheek. His effortless sensuality coaxed her to place a hand on his chest as it rose and fell, press kisses to his exposed thigh.
But she refrained and instead rolled away and quietly climbed out of bed.
The flannel pajama top he’d loaned her wrapped her in a cloud of warmth and softness and a knowledge of Asher. She pulled on a pair of her underwear and padded to the kitchen, favoring her injured leg.
Uncertainty and fear of the unknown rattled her brain. Today she’d meet her real parents for the first time. She had no baseline to get herself prepared. Anything could happen.
But that was hours away. Meanwhile, she could shove that looming encounter to the back of her thoughts. She could help Asher.
She grabbed his laptop, set it on the kitchen table, and waited for it to come on. Staring out the kitchen window, she took in the deep blue of the early morning sky. Sunrise wouldn’t light the sky for about two more hours, but by then, Laurelwood would be awake and running.
Her leg resting on a nearby chair, Kennedy began her search.
A quick, generic search for Bradley and Emily Monroe came up with lots of dead ends. Typical listings that led to nowhere. She dug deeper. She knew Asher’s father, Bradley Monroe, worked as a high school science teacher and his mother, Emily, worked as a director of a museum. Not a lot to go on but still, it was not nothing.
When she plugged Emily’s name into the search teamed with Midwest museums, she popped up. It turned out she had recently been recognized for her outreach efforts into the city of Estoria, a midsize town about twenty miles from Laurelwood. The museum, Estoria Museum of History and World Cultures, had a website. Kennedy quickly brought up the museum’s staff directory.
“Bingo.”
Kennedy chewed on her fingers, scanning the brief bio of Emily Monroe. It included her husband’s name, Bradley, and children’s names—Kendall and Finn. No mention of Asher or Lara.
Her listing also included an email address, an office address, and a phone number.
Kennedy grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the counter and scribbled down the information.
Excitement at her success stimulated her mind and sent her thoughts racing. She could find out more about Asher’s family.
The city website offered a list of local amenities and a residents’ guide. Another hit. She learned the name of the local high school and clicked on a link to its website. She clicked on the staff directory—another bingo. Asher’s father was listed. The only contact information provided was an office phone and an email address, but that, too, was not nothing.
One more search in the Estoria White Pages online, and she had a home phone and address.
Something very akin to glee bloomed in her chest. She’d tracked down his family. He had a way to contact them, even to simply drop in on them. There was hope for a reconciliation.
The glee wilted into uncertainty. Maybe she’d overstepped his boundaries. Maybe Asher would feel pushed or invaded. What had she been thinking? This was none of her business.
Except she cared about him. Anything that separated them was her business, wasn’t it?
“Good morning, gorgeous.” Asher brushed her cheek with a kiss, sending her heart skipping. “You’re up early. Couldn’t sleep?”
He yawned wide and slouched into a chair on the other side of her outstretched, injured leg. “Yeah, I had a little trouble sleeping.”
“That’s understandable. Your leg probably hurts, and you’ve got a big day ahead of you.” He surveyed the slips of paper that lay beside her.
Kennedy wriggled in her seat and quickly laid her hand over the papers. She gave him a smile, and he studied her.
“What are you doing? You look ill at ease.” He frowned. She could envision his brain working to figure out what was going on.
“I am a little.” She chewed on her lower lip before she caught herself. “Umm …” she handed him the papers with her search results. “I found your family. But I’m not sure I should’ve done it. I didn’t mean to intrude.” Warmth bloomed up her neck and heated her face.
“Why did you do it?” The tone of his voice was flat. It prevented her from determining what he was feeling. Her nerves tightened her muscles.
She lifted her gaze to the ceiling, seeking a truthful answer. She had to get this right. “When you told me about your family cutting you out, I saw pain in your eyes. I know the pain of family rejection. It bores deep inside and tears apart self-confidence and self-worth. I just thought if I could find your family, you would have a chance to try again for meaningful relationships.” A sob clogged her throat, and she sat there near him, wrestling with her own uncertainty.
He gazed out the kitchen window, his eyes so distant that her automatic withdrawal kicked in. If he were going to detach from her, she’d save herself and beat him to the move.
“I appreciate what you’ve done, Kennedy. I know you’re trying to help me.” His gaze remained pointed outside. “Would it sound very unmanly to admit I’m afraid of dashing all hope of reconnection by hearing them rejecting me again? I know what I did to my brother was harmful. Because I’m a wild card—”
“You judge yourself too harshly,” she interrupted. “You are spontaneous and full of life. There’s a difference.” Everything in her longed to hold him and make the misconceptions in him disappear. But she didn’t dare reach out to him.
He turned back to her, sorrow in his eyes. “You’re so kind to me. But I know what I did. My parents made it clear they didn’t ever want to see me again.”
“Words spoken in reaction. They probably have long ago wished they could take them back.”
The wind gusted outside, tossing snowflakes in swirls. Time stopped, and Kennedy breathed shallow breaths.
Asher rubbed his hand through his tousled hair. “This conversation is too heavy without coffee first.” He grinned halfheartedly at her, and she knew he was trying to dismiss the idea of meeting with his family.
He grabbed the coffee carafe and filled it with water, then scooped ground coffee beans into the coffeemaker. Soon the aroma of coffee brewing wafted to Kennedy’s nose.
“That smells delicious,” she said. “Coffee is good. But it’s not going to get you off the hook. I’m not going to push you to get in contact with your family. I simply made it easy for you to do. The outcome is unknowable. But even if they do reject you once again, you’ll know you tried. You’ll be able to see the truth.”
“The truth? And what would that be, Kennedy? That I’m reckless and my recklessness wreaked havoc on my family?”
“I can’t predict. But you’ll only find it when you’re brave enough to talk about the incident with your family.”
He shoved her
head gently. “Since when did you become Buddha?”
Chapter Fifteen
“We may be brother and sister, but I still feel awkward sitting here beside you.” Kennedy slanted her head and waited for Casey’s response.
His hands on the wheel of his Prius, Casey chuckled. “Don’t hold back, Kennedy. Tell me how you really feel.”
“If I’m doing things wrong, tell me. My experience with normal conversation and healthy management of my emotions is lacking. I’m direct, typically. But I didn’t mean to offend you.” She’d been taught manners and how to defer to the people around her growing up, but she’d remained direct. She’d had no respect for those people and didn’t care if she’d offended them. It had been her only means of keeping her sanity.
But those were old ways.
“You haven’t offended me. I like that you’re direct. It’s a good trait.” He slipped an easy smile her way, then turned back to the road.
“You know, I didn’t know other were-lynxes existed until my parents sent me off to William Carter’s experiment. It felt good to see you and the other cats, but I was a bit frightened, too. I didn’t know what to expect.”
“And now?” He raised an eyebrow. “What do you think of us now?”
“I’m getting to know everyone better. But if I stick to just you, I’m nervous.”
“I understand. But you are my sister, and I hope we continue to become well acquainted.”
The ride to her parents’ house wouldn’t be long, Casey had told her. As she watched the landscape passing by the window, Kennedy enjoyed seeing the snow-covered hills and bare trees dusted in snow. Nature, in its many variations, would never become old and mundane to her. It didn’t bore her; it energized her.
A few miles outside of the city, Casey turned his Prius up a long, secluded lane. It weaved around tall trees and led to the house.
“That is a beautiful house.” Kennedy stared at the large, four-story brick home surrounded by forest and fields. “This is where you grew up?” She climbed out of the car and scanned the property. “It’s like heaven.”
Casey walked up beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Growing up a were-lynx is difficult. There were so many rules and so many restrictions. I felt different in public school. But here,” he spread out his arms, “here I felt protected, at home. I’m sorry you didn’t have that, Kennedy.” He frowned and shook his head. “I was very lonely. I would have loved to have had a little sister to tease.” He gave her a glistening smile.
Just then, the front door opened. “Casey, Kennedy, come inside. It’s cold out here.” A woman in the doorway beckoned them inside. “I’m Camille.” She dropped the end of the sentence, a tentative smile lingering. She stepped up beside a man standing in the entryway. “And this is Jerry, my husband.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Kennedy could have suffocated in the tension.
Camille led them to the living room and gestured to the overstuffed couch and chairs. A fire crackled in the stone fireplace, lending a warm ambiance to the room.
Kennedy tried to suppress her shivers. She wasn’t cold, just petrified. She lifted her chin a bit and first looked Camille in the eye, then Jerry. What she saw made her gasp. Their eyes gleamed with absolute acceptance and love. The words she was about to say fell back down her throat.
“Here, you can sit here beside me, Kennedy,” Casey offered, and patted the couch cushion next to him.
Camille stared at Kennedy. “You’ve hurt your leg?” Her voice came out soft and hesitant.
“Yes. I broke it yesterday. Jonathon Novak stomped on it.”
Camille brought her hand to her mouth and uttered a moan. Tears glistened in her eyes. “Your adoptive father, the man who raised you, broke your leg … on purpose?”
Kennedy stared at the floor. “I wasn’t complying with his plans for me to further the project of The Nexus Group.”
Jerry sputtered. “My God! This is terrible. Where is he now?”
While Casey brought them up to speed about what he knew about her life and the carnage of The Nexus Group, Kennedy sat silent, intermittently touching the thumb of each hand to each finger and twisting a lock of her hair around her finger. She didn’t want to come across as a victim and a weak, whiny woman. But Jerry and Camille’s sorrowful faces and sympathetic utterances touched her. Acknowledgement and acceptance of the hell she’d lived through both held her up and at the same time left her limp .
Jerry shook his head. “Kennedy, I hope you can understand that our participation with The Nexus Group through William Carter was against our will.” His head sank in his hands, and sobs broke from him. When he lifted his head, his eyes were puffy from his tears. “And most of all, you must believe us. We knew nothing of you, your whereabouts, or your ordeal. We were told you died at birth.”
Tears streamed down Kennedy’s face. “I was told you both were killed in a car accident. Then later, I was told you were alive but you didn’t want me.” Casey reached around her and pulled Kennedy close. “Nights I would dream of you coming and taking me away to a home that was safe and loving. But I finally gave up dreaming and hoping.”
“I’m so sorry, Kennedy. Even after we were told you had died, I loved you. I held you in my heart, believing I would never see you. I love you now as much as the days when I carried you in my body.” Her mother’s tears drizzled down her face and dropped into her lap.
“I gave up hope for a good life and a mother who loved me unconditionally, until, that is, Casey and his colony rescued me from the drug experiment TNG was conducting on cats and were-lynxes.” Kennedy turned her eyes on Casey, and he smiled down at her, his golden eyes shining with clarity. “I’ve been coming back to life, so to speak, ever since. I hope they’ll let me stay. I have a lot to learn and to repay them for.”
Jerry wrapped an arm around his sobbing wife and walked her closer to Kennedy. He took Kennedy’s hand and helped her to feet as she pulled on Casey’s hand to join them.
“Could we have a group hug and just hold each other in the awareness of what we’ve been through and the pain and suffering inflicted by TNG? Would you two be comfortable with that?”
“I could use a hug from my real mom and dad.” She put out her arms and joined in an embrace between her brother and her parents.
She stood there, letting the harsh reality she’d lived stand with her, along with the pain the other three had endured for years. The embrace remained hard and grasping. Holding each other in awareness, their tears mingled and fell to the floor. Long minutes ticked by, and still they hugged. Finally, the crying stopped. Kennedy stepped out of the circle, a new sense of belonging growing inside her gut. Casey kissed the top of her hair, and her father kissed her forehead.
Kennedy looked in her mother’s eyes and saw love and something more. Determination. “My precious daughter,” she said. “I’ve missed so much, but we have time to get together and spend lazy hours having fun.” She reached across to Kennedy and pulled her close. Mother and daughter hugging. Kennedy clung to her mom with matching determination.
Uncertainty still sifted through her veins. It would take time and interaction to fully engage with her new family. But moment-by-moment was all she had to think about. She couldn’t wait to talk to Asher about this one.
• • •
Asher paced his living room floor, checking the clock over and over again. Agitation set his nerves on edge as he waited for Kennedy to return from meeting her parents. He’d opted to work from home today so he’d be readily available if she called or needed attention when she arrived. So between pacing, he sat with his laptop, writing a preview of the university’s men’s basketball upcoming season. Fortunately, the sports information department was able to set up an interview with the head coach during a break in the coach’s schedule so Asher could meet his deadline. He prided himself on being dependable and always delivering his articles on time… but with Kennedy’s needs and the unrelenting onslaught from The Nexus Grou
p, he’d been hard pressed to find time for his actual job.
His fingers hammered out the story. Line by line, the words came together in sentences and paragraphs. Finally, he smiled to himself, pleased with how his words had come together and relieved he’d finished. He filed it and plopped on the couch.
Thoughts of Kennedy circled inside his head. He knew her parents, and he expected that if she were willing to be a part of their life, they would welcome her completely. They’d lost her twenty-two years ago, but in the time he’d known them, he’d observed that the alleged death of their child had worn heavy in their hearts regardless of time passing.
He grabbed the paper with his mother’s contact information that Kennedy had given him. Pain gripped his stomach. His own family fell in a different category. They’d cut him out of their lives and didn’t seem to suffer for it. He, on the other hand, struggled with losing them and with finding peace regarding his role in their reaction.
He grabbed handfuls of his hair and screamed inside his head for what he’d done to his brother. How could he even consider for one second that his family would forgive and forget … ever?
Gratitude for Kennedy’s efforts to give him a phone number stirred his beliefs. He wanted to believe they would take him back. He thought of Kennedy and all she’d gone through, yet she’d made significant changes for the better. She’d been so brave. How could he be anything less?
Nerves jangling, he punched in the phone number and waited. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four rings.
“Hello?” The sound of his mother’s voice weakened his knees. He reached for a chair to slump into.
“Mom, this is Asher.”
Silence on the other end made his hope waver. Then he heard a sob.
“Asher? Oh my gosh, son. I can’t believe it. I’m so sorry for everything. Please forgive me.”
His breaths came in short pulls. This was unexpected. Holding himself together took all his energy. “Mom, I want to see you and the rest of the family. I’m sorry for all the harm—”
Cravings (Fierce Hearts) Page 17