by Mathew Ortiz
“Amazing! But what do you do?” And with that, he turned the attention on me.
Rubbing my neck, I paused. I didn’t like talking about myself much… still. “Well, both my brothers went to culinary school. I got a degree in English and now work at Merritt Publishing as a junior editor. I work under June Lim, in the LGBT section. Right now, I’m editing two books from gay authors. One is a cookbook; the guy is dedicating it to his maternal aunt who raised him after his parents threw him out. He works as a bartender in Tatesville and is quite a character.” I paused for dramatic effect. “His name is Goat.”
“You’re joshing me.” Caleb arched a brow at me and I held up my hands.
“It’s the truth. His name is Liam Wurtzler but everyone calls him ‘Goat’ ‘cause he apparently has a cast iron stomach and can eat anything.”
“Sounds like an interesting man.”
“He is and a great home cook. And, in my spare time, I restore old motorcycles.”
He waved his hands. “How did you get into that?”
“I fell in love with old bikes early on. I was making models when I was a kid and then my friend Ben’s dad, who owned a bike shop, let me help out. Ben wasn’t interested but I was. I spent my days covered in oil when I wasn’t in school. I restored my first bike when I was eighteen and I’ve done three more. One of which my brother rides. It’s a 1999 Harley-Davidson Heritage Softail SPECIAL. Original colors, two tone Sinister Blue and Ice. He loves it.” I pulled out my phone and showed him a picture.
Caleb studied it and asked, “Do you have one?”
“Yes, I do. It’s a 1964 Harley Davidson. It’s so sweet and I baby the hell outta it. I’m only waitin’ on some parts to replace in the motor. It still runs fine but I like keepin’ up on its maintenance. I’m also workin’ on one for Avery’s guy, Martin. He refuses to ride in the side car I got Avery. I was almost done when….” I trailed off and he tilted his head.
“When you went to Raleigh?”
“Yeah.” I sighed and twiddled my beard. “I’m a recoverin’ alcoholic.”
“Well, I’m an abuse survivor.” He looked down at the table. I reached over and grabbed his hand.
“Hey, I can’t say it’s okay, ‘cause it’s not. But I’m here. I’ll listen.”
“Perhaps on our next date,” he said and I smirked.
“Oh, are we havin’ a second date?”
“Yes, we are,” he commanded regally. I smiled over the lip of my cup as he leaned closer and lowered his voice. “In case you haven’t twigged. I find you very attractive.”
Doubt niggled my brain and I had to ask. “You sure you want to get involved with me. I’m kinda broken.”
His blue eyes clouded over and he squeezed my hand back. “You sure you wanna take me on? I’m broken, with baggage. Why don’t we just play it by ear? Maybe we can put the pieces of our lives, together. Weirder things have happened.”
“True, I—”
“I guess you prefer nerdy blonds?” A voice cut through the diner’s chatter and all eyes, mine and Caleb’s included, turned to an angry faced blond standing by our table.
“Excuse me?” Who the hell is this guy and why is he screaming at me?
“I can’t believe you!” The man snarled and I jerked back. “You tell me you don’t like me, but here you are with an emaciated version of me. What the fuck? You got your pound of flesh from me and so now you move straight on to your next conquest?”
“Hey!” Caleb snapped and was completely ignored.
“Dude, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I had never met this crazy queer in my life. He continued his rant. People were staring at us and Caleb’s face flashed red with embarrassment. Before I could ask him who he was, the guy slapped off my baseball cap.
“Take that damn cap off!”
That tore it! I jumped up, my chair screeched across the dingy linoleum floor. “What the fuck?” My hands clenched, ready to swing.
“Boone?” he asked, suddenly uncertain.
“No.” I snatched my cap up from where it had fallen on the table, smoothed down my hair and shoved it back on my head. “Name’s Cotton!”
The man went white as a sheet. “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry! I thought you were Boone.”
If the googling eyes and pin-drop silence were any indication, we were the show of the day. “Who the hell are you?” I ground out and did my best to reign in my temper.
“I’m so sorry. My name’s Robbie Gaither, Martin Gaither’s cousin,” he hurriedly explained and some of the tension in my shoulders fled, along with the clenched fists. “Boone’s doing the wedding cake for my cousin Emmett.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. The audience must have grown tired of us already as the clink and chink of silverware resumed. Robbie… Robbie… oh shit!
“Oh yeah, Boone mentioned you.”
“Cotton?” Caleb’s soft voice promptly made me forget about Boone and this douchebag.
“Sorry, Caleb. Seems like a case of mistaken identity.” I sat back down, reached over and covered Caleb’s hand possessively. “He thought I was Boone.”
“Oh.” Caleb’s relief was palpable. “I’ve seen pictures. I can see that happening.” He held out a hand. “Caleb Jaspers.”
He shook his hand. “Umm… Robbie Gaither. Nice to meet you.”
“So, you thought Boone was cheatin’ on you?” I asked. Oh god, this is priceless. This guy’s nuts were all twisted up over my crazy-assed brother.
“N-no. Nothing like that-I-I.” The guy fell over his own open mouth as he backpedaled.
“Then why’d ya get your dander up?” I asked slyly. Boone was going to love this. I had to admit, I liked his taste. Robbie had a tight body and golden blond hair. “Seems like you were jealous.”
“Jealous, me? Ridiculous! I was-I was—”
“Right,” I drawled and Caleb smothered a grin with his hand. Robbie started backing up.
“Sorry, to interrupt your date. I have to run. Nice meeting you, Caleb. You won’t mention this to Boone, will you?”
My face actually hurt from grinning so hard. “Of course, I will. As soon as you leave, I’m callin’ him. Oh, he is so gonna love this.”
The guy slumped away and gave me one last look over his shoulder. I stopped mid-tap on my phone and gave him the thumbs-up. Caleb burst out giggling as I rang my brother. Boone picked up and I snorted.
“Hey, Boone. Guess who I just met?”
Chapter 3
Caleb
“Hello, my name’s Caleb and I’m a survivor of physical and mental abuse. I was abused by the person I loved and trusted the most. I believed, in the beginning, it was my fault for making him angry and, if I tried harder, he wouldn’t have to hit me. I was my own worst enemy...”
*
As first dates go, Cotton and I were off to a bang up start. First, we meet at our respective support groups, then he takes me to a greasy spoon where he’s assaulted by his brother’s crazy boyfriend. I rolled over onto my back as I spoke with Mikey. Oddly enough, my baby brother and I were closer than our other siblings. Edwina was usually busy with her mommy’s club and Pilates and, if Benton had the stick any further up his ass, you would see it in his mouth. Perhaps it’s because I’m so English and Mikey’s so redneck. We get along because we are such opposites.
It had been a week since I’d seen Cotton. I’d done five days straight of milk runs and was bored out of my skull. If it wasn’t for going out with Cheska and Annie for drunken pub crawls, I’d have no life. It bothered me somewhat that I hadn’t told Cotton I like to drink. I do love a nice ale. Anyway, he’d called and asked me to meet him for lunch. So, here I was, lying naked on the bed, freshly showered and talking to my brother on speaker phone.
“Are you gonna let beardy bear plug your puckah?” Mikey had absolutely no filter.
“You are so crass. It’s only our second date, Mikey.” I glanced down at my freshly trimmed pubes and sighed. “Maybe. No. I don’t know.
”
“Hell, it’s been so long, you must durn near have your virginity back.” His southern drawl held the faintest tinge of a British lilt. “I say get on your back, spread your legs like a turkey and let him get to stuffin’.”
Obviously, he found this highly humorous from the braying laughter I could hear. I squeezed my eyelids shut and counted to ten. He knew how to push my buttons. I must admit, I’m a bit conservative when it comes to sex. I’ve only slept with four men and I was in a relationship with all of them. Not Mikey. In short order, my baby brother had had gonorrhea twice, syphilis once and more crabs than Red Lobster, and had no shame in it. Right now, he was dating both a guy and a girl. One more thing to make my mother crazy, he’s bisexual and happily pollinates or is pollinated by both sexes.
“Tell me you are at least usin’ the dildo I bought ya?” His question jolted me back to the conversation at hand.
“That thing is monstrous,” I said, aghast. “It’s electric blue and the bloody thing vibrates. I turned in on and thought I was being attacked by an Avatar!” I cast a glance at my nightstand drawer where it was safely put away.
“Hey, that thing cost a mint and you’re dodgin’.” His voice dropped a note. “It’s been almost a year since Mr. Dickdrip.” Mikey hated my ex, Robert.
I grimaced. “I know. I know. I think I’m ready.”
“So, what’s stoppin’ you?” he asked.
“I’m afraid.” There, I said it.
“Of bein’ hurt?”
“Yes. Mentally and physically. I let Robert beat me and made excuses. I should have—”
“Shoulda done nuthin’! He hit you! You did nothin’ wrong, Caleb. That fucktard deserves to have his balls ripped off!”
The venom in his voice warmed my heart. Of all my family, Mikey was the only one who knew how badly Robert had treated me. He was the one I called when Robert nearly beat me senseless and left me alone at our place, covered in blood with a broken arm, three broken ribs, a broken finger and two black eyes. Even through the pain, I wouldn’t call anyone but him.
“I realize that. Still, I’m afraid.”
“Do you think Beardy’s like Smegma Head?”
“Good God, no. Cotton’s sweet. Unpretentious.”
“Nuthin’ like Queefboy.” He sighed and I heard him light up a cigarette
“He’s funny, works as an editor, restores old motorcycles, smiles a lot and… he’s a recovering alcoholic.” It hung there, an albatross in the room and I waited for the fallout. Of which there was none.
“Hmm… not prissy perfect. I like what I’m hearin’.” The hiss of a lungful of smoky air ghosted down the line. “You know I’m not one to preach,” he chuckled, “but give him a chance.”
“You’re right. When did you get so smart?” I rolled over onto my stomach and clenched my ass a few times. I had a nice ass and made sure I exercised to keep it firm as often as I could.
“I’ve always been smarter than you. I just don’t use it.” He laughed at his own wit again. He was full of it. My baby brother was a chemist at one of the biggest research facilities in Atlanta. Brilliant, didn’t even begin to cover my brother’s intellect. Savant was more like it. And another reason why he makes my mother crazy. He acts like a backwoods redneck, then goes and publishes papers on fluid dynamics within a super cooled environment.
“I better get ready. I don’t want to be late.”
“Did you shave your brown starfish?” See, no filter.
“You are a pig. An unmitigated pig.”
“Oink, oink,” Mikey squealed. “One of my many charms. That and my big uncut cock.”
“Really? Seriously? We’re done.” I laughed and tumbled to a sitting position. “Thanks, Mikey. Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime, Caleb. I got your back. Love you, bro.”
“Love you, too. ‘Bye.”
“Bring lotsa lube!” he yelled as he disconnected our call, leaving me giggling on my bed and wondering whether to wear my super tight pink shorts or my baggy yellow ones.
Hmm… decisions, decisions.
*
I pulled my little Prius into the public parking area in downtown Decatur, found a shady spot and parked. Sweet mother, my hands were shaking, my stomach heaved with butterflies and I was sure I had a huge case of flop sweat. Cranking up the air conditioner in the car, I steadied my breathing and tried to center myself. I can honestly say that I hadn’t been this nervous in ages. Sure, I had dated, even had a few relationships, which had failed for various reasons. The main one being my job. I travelled nearly two thirds of the month, flitting from one airport to another. My schedule varied from week to week and I worked from early morning to late at night, so it was hard for me to make plans. I did try though.
I was still in flight attendants’ school when I met Wes. Charming, handsome, big dicked Wes. We met at a bear bash in downtown Atlanta. Our relationship burned hot for almost six months and I thought he was alright with me being gone so much. Of course, he was. He took advantage of every day I was out of town to plug as much ass as he could fit in. I found out about his extracurricular activities from two of my frenemies, David and Greg. During a brunch with the ‘girls’, they let it slip that they’d seen Wes going into the Crankshaft, a notorious bear club, known for its dungeon. I flatly refused to believe those gossipy queens, but doubt niggled at me.
I called off one weekend and followed him. Damn him! I saw him strut his ass right into Crankshaft. I paid my way in and lo and behold, there was my man getting packed from the front and back by a room full of hairy bears in the first playroom I walked into. Bitch said he was only a top! Obviously not, judging by the big Latin man fucking him raw. I nearly vomited. He claimed he practiced safe sex before we met and here he was taking cock after bare cock up his hairy ass.
I stumbled home and drowned my sorrows in vodka, and the next day I sent him a picture I took with my phone of him getting spit-roasted. The fucker didn’t even have the decency to call me back or text. He ghosted me… the gall of the man!
Licking my wounds, I plunged back into work and a few months later met the man who would change my life forever, and not for the better—Robert Davenport IV. Damn, even almost a year later, the mere memory of him stirred me in good and bad ways. Robert charmed his way into my pants and had been a fantastic lover. A powerful cocksman, he could ride a guy to the brink over and over until you came without touching yourself. When it came to sex, Robert was a ten out of ten, all round. As a human being, he earned a solid negative twenty.
His mean side didn’t rear itself right away. Oh no, he was a suave bastard. He waited until four months into our relationship before he hit me for the first time. We’d been out shopping for clothes and he accused me of flirting with a guy in the shop. I wasn’t, of course. I naturally like to smile and engage with people, it’s why I’m such a good attendant. I’m a people person. Robert didn’t see it that way. We argued in the car back to his place and as we walked into his apartment, I snarked off a comment. I never saw his fist coming until I was flat on my ass, stars in my eyes and a pounding pain radiating in my left check.
I sat, dumbfounded, as he dropped beside me and sobbed. He apologized over and over and begged for my forgiveness. I reeled, too shocked to speak at first and when I could, stupid me, I forgave him. And so began the downward spiral of abuse that escalated in the last three months. God, I was so naïve. I honestly thought I was making him hit me. My smart mouth seemed to set him off at a moment’s notice. I can’t believe I stayed through all the beatings. I—
Enough! I was the victim. I didn’t do anything wrong!
I recited the words again and again in my head, making a conscious decision to have a nice time with Cotton. He’d asked me to meet him at the Lego shop. A Lego shop? Shaking myself, I turned off my car, got out, locked it and walked the two blocks to the store. As usual, downtown was hopping. Music blared from various outdoor bars and people milled about in laughing groups. The bright colors
of the Lego store greeted me as I wove my way through the crowds and my lips quirked. What an odd choice for a second date.
Walking in, my nose was assailed by the scent of plastic. The door clanked loudly behind me and I peered around the bustling room, overflowing with parents, children and singles. I spotted Cotton in a corner at the back of the store, staring at a wall of Lego sets. I skittered around the patrons until I was right behind him.
“’Lo, Caleb,” he said as he scanned the boxes, never breaking his gaze.
I squeaked and my hands went straight to my hips. “How did you know it was me?”
He turned and smiled. Damn, he had glorious lips.
“Your cologne,” he answered. “Tangy, citrusy… delicious.” He ran his tongue over his lower lip and suddenly the room grew warm… very warm.
“I didn’t think you came close enough to notice,” I blurted out.
“I notice a lot of things and I have a weirdly powerful sense of smell.” His hand came up and his fingers grazed my arm. Goose flesh prickled my skin.
“Ah… wh-why are we meeting here again?” I stuttered and he laughed.
“Sorry, I needed to pick up a gift for my niece, Poppy. She loves Lego and I know she doesn’t have the new French Café set. It’s her birthday.” He pulled down a set and, when I saw the price, I nearly fainted.
“Good grief, that’s pricey. And did you say Poppy?” I frowned and looked at the set again. “Isn’t that a boy’s set?”
“It’s neither male nor female. Poppy’s bright and loves to build things. One whole corner of her room is covered in Lego Creator sets. She’s makin’ her own city. Some from sets and some of her own design. She’s really good. I go over to Avery and Martin’s house and build with her for a few hours whenever I have time off. We share pieces when the need comes up.” As soon as he said it a faint blush dashed across his cheeks.