Blood Vice

by Angela Roquet

  “I didn’t have a heartbeat,” I answered. “I do now, though, so I’m fine.” I thought of the nearly nonexistent pulse I’d felt in my neck earlier and licked my chapped lips, wondering what it could mean.

  Laura’s eyes picked me apart, making a slower assessment than the captain’s had but coming to the same useless verdict. “Shouldn’t you be at the hospital, sweetie? You look awful.”

  “Thanks.” I snorted and returned her judgy ogling. “You look…picture perfect, as always.”

  “Right.” She let out a ghost of a laugh and fingered the puddled mascara under her eyes. “I look like I belong on a horror set.”

  A soft growl sounded from her pile of matching pink luggage, and I sucked in a surprised breath when she unearthed a tiny pet carrier. A straw-colored Chihuahua in a blue vest yipped at me through the screen.

  “Someone’s valium finally wore off,” Laura cooed as she unlatched the door.

  The Chihuahua jumped over her open hand and did a belly flop on the hardwood, letting out a high-pitched grunt that sounded more like a squeak toy. Then it hopped up and raced for the kitchen, its little toenails skittering along the floor as it lost traction and rounded the corner.

  Laura followed it, and I was a step behind. I remembered Mandy just as the pooch made it to the pantry. It yipped and jumped up and down, scratching at the base of the door.

  “Do you smell a treat?” Laura cooed, reaching for the doorknob.

  “Wait!” I shouted, the word sticking in my throat as a massive black dog emerged from the pantry—the same dog I’d seen in the warehouse basement.

  The creature growled at the Chihuahua, cuing the tiny beast to relieve itself on the kitchen floor. And then Laura really did fall out of her stilettos.

  Chapter Five

  “When did you get a dog?” Laura had to ask the question twice before I snapped out of my trance.

  “I… I don’t know,” I answered, scratching my head.

  Laura scooped up the Chihuahua and ripped a few paper towels off the roll hanging under the cabinets. She dropped them over the small puddle her pooch had made, her eyes never leaving the enormous dog standing in the threshold of the pantry.

  “What breed is that? Some sort of German Shepherd mix?” she asked, nervously stroking the Chihuahua. The thing had stopped yapping, but it shivered so violently, I feared Laura might drop it.

  “I don’t know,” I answered again. I wasn’t sure I knew anything anymore.

  Laura gave me a quizzical frown before her gaze pulled back to the pantry. “She kinda looks like Maggie.”

  I swallowed and nodded, not trusting my voice. The giant dog made a groaning noise, and I could have sworn I saw its eyes roll. At least it had stopped growling. It threw a cautious glare at Laura before darting through the kitchen and down the hallway to my bedroom. Laura blinked after it.

  “Did you move into Mom’s old bedroom?” she asked, her voice small and guarded.

  I hugged myself and licked my bottom lip. “Yeah, it made sense. I haven’t touched any of your stuff,” I quickly added. “You can stay in our old room if you want to.”

  Laura’s back straightened, but she looked away from me. “I have a hotel reservation.”

  “But you brought your luggage here,” I said with a frown.

  Her cheeks flushed, and she let out a little sigh. “I came straight from the airport to check on the house. And it’s a good thing I did. What if you really had been dead, and that poor dog was stuck in the pantry all night?” She made a face at me. “And why would you keep it in there? What would Mom say?”

  “What would Mom say?” A scornful laugh escaped me. “Like you care. What do you think she would say about you screwing a producer to get a role in a cheesy soap opera?”

  Laura’s cheeks puffed out. “How dare you! Henry’s Courtroom has won multiple awards.”

  “Two,” I said, giving her a level glare. “It’s won two awards, Laura. And one of them was the equivalent of a Raspberry.”

  “How would you know? I thought you said daytime television was for sad, lonely housewives.”

  I knew it was only a matter of time before Laura and I would resort to the familiar script. Though I’d hoped it would take longer than this. We hadn’t seen each other in almost ten years, and the few phone calls we’d shared were short and often ended in bitter tears and biting insults. For identical twins, we were nothing alike. From Laura’s dyed locks to her stiletto heels, she was a complete stranger to me now.

  I ran a hand through my tangled hair. “Stay in our old room or stay in a hotel. I don’t care. I’m going to bed.” I turned to walk out of the kitchen.

  “Jenna!”

  “What?” I stopped but didn’t turn around. Laura was quiet for several seconds, then she sighed.

  “I’m really glad you’re not dead. I’ve missed you.” She followed it up with a clipped laugh that suggested she wasn’t sure why.

  “I’ve missed you, too.” My shoulders sagged as I turned around and gave her a sad smile. “It’s been a really long day. Let’s talk more in the morning, okay? I’ll make breakfast.”

  Her eyes lit up. “Pancakes?” She squeezed the Chihuahua and bounced him in her arms.

  I nodded. “Sure. Goodnight.”

  Laura lifted the Chihuahua’s paw and waved it at me. “Say goodnight, Duncan.”

  I grinned and headed down the hallway to my room. I’d nearly forgotten about the mammoth of a dog, considering I’d half-convinced myself it had been a figment of my dehydrated brain. But when I closed the bedroom door, Mandy was waiting for me behind it. I gasped and almost fell over backward.

  “How the hell did you get in here?” I hissed at her. “And where did that dog come from? Where is it now?” I shot a nervous glance around the room.

  “Think real hard,” Mandy said, folding her arms across her chest. She was wearing a different outfit, though it was still one of mine.

  “I’m not dead. You can stop pilfering through my closet anytime now.”

  “Nudity doesn’t bother me, Detective Skye. Would you like me to strip right now?” She lifted the hem of the new band tee shirt and began to pull it up over her stomach.

  I reached out to stop her hand. “Quit being such a diva. That last outfit was fine. I don’t see why you had to change into this one.”

  She jerked her hand away from mine and rolled her eyes. “That outfit was fine, but I had to leave it in the pantry.”

  “Girl, you’re one odd duck.” I scanned the room again, wondering more seriously if the dog had been a delusion. Although, Laura had seen it, too. So if I were nuts, so was she. Unless Laura was also a figment of my imagination. Why not? Nothing else seemed real. I peeked inside my closet and the attached bathroom before kneeling down to look under my bed.

  Mandy watched me with a comical expression. “Who’s Maggie?” she asked.

  I snorted. “You might be coo coo for Cocoa Puffs, but your hearing is off the charts.” I pulled myself off the floor and dug through a pile of clothes on top of my dresser. I was ready to shed Vin’s loaner sweats and wash the smell of the morgue out of my hair.

  “Well?” Mandy asked.

  “Maggie was my mother’s partner when she was on the K9 unit. She was a German Shepherd.”

  Mandy huffed and cocked a hip out to one side. “I do not look like a German Shepherd.”

  “I said Maggie was a German Shepherd.” I turned to make a face at Mandy before fishing a pair of clean underwear out of a drawer. “Maybe your hearing isn’t so great, after all.”

  The band tee shirt she’d been wearing smacked the mirror above my dresser. I spun around, prepared to inform her that she’d breached my generosity quota, but she wasn’t headed for my closet. She stood stark naked in front of my closed bedroom door, her face distorted with pain.

  A noise that sounded like someone tromping through underbrush filled my room. Mandy fell to the floor. Her mouth and chin pushed out, elongating as she hunched over
. Her back bowed, and a line of dark fur shot up from her spine as if she were a life-sized Chia Pet. When she looked up at me, her eyes glowed, a startling yellow against her furry face. Teeth crowded her mouth as her fingers clenched, knuckles splitting through her skin and curling into sharp claws.

  Bones. That awful sound was snapping bones, I realized.

  My jaw came unhinged. This couldn’t be happening. I should have listened to everyone and taken my ass straight to the hospital. I needed a CAT scan. Maybe even a lobotomy. Who knew? Not me. That was for damn sure.

  The dog—Mandy—or whatever it was, took a careful step toward me. This up close and personal, I could agree. She was no German Shepherd. The larger head and long legs were more characteristic of a timber wolf, but those weren’t native to this area. Although, one had been shot by a hunter in central Missouri a few years back.

  The Mandy-wolf-beast took another step closer, and I finally came to my senses, throwing the bundle of clothes I’d gathered at the creature’s face before racing for the open bathroom door. Once inside, I slammed the door and backed across the small room until my shoulders hit the window sandwiched between the toilet and bathtub.

  I pushed the mini blinds aside and fiddled with the latch on the pane, wondering how difficult it would be to kick the screen out and climb through. Maybe one of my neighbors would see and call a looney wagon to come and pick me up. That was my best bet now.

  The sound of scuffing claws drew my attention across the bathroom again. A shadow passed over the small gap under the door. The beast sniffed and let out an impatient whine, and then I heard the crackling, snapping noise again.

  The door opened, and my knees trembled as I slid to the bathroom floor. Mandy stood naked in the doorway. She gave me an exhausted glare.

  “You didn’t stay for the last part of my party trick. Rude.”

  Chapter Six

  “So, I’m a vampire, and you’re a werewolf.” It didn’t matter how many times I said it, the words refused to sink in.

  Mandy sat cross-legged on the end of my bed. She’d put clothes on, and had a buffet of food spread in a circle around her. She’d already plowed through half a box of beef jerky, two canned protein shakes, and a whole package of deli turkey. Her head dipped in an exaggerated nod as she tore into a package of string cheese.

  “Yup,” she said dryly as if it were no big deal. As if she hadn’t just shattered the fabric of my reality.

  “I’m a vampire…and you’re a werewolf,” I said under my breath. I rocked back and forth at the head of my bed, my fingers digging into my knees that were pulled up under my chin. “I’m a vampire, and you’re a werewolf. I’m a vampire, and you’re a werewolf,” I chanted. “I’m in an asylum, and you’re an orderly.”

  “Errrn! Try again,” Mandy said around a mouthful of cheese as she ripped open another package. “I get that this is a hard truth to swallow, but trust me, it could be much worse. When I was turned, the John who did it left without saying a word. I almost bled to death. If another girl hadn’t shown me how to shift and heal my wounds, I would have.”

  I wanted to feel sorry for her, but I was too busy trying to decide if she was another patient rather than an orderly. I wondered what kind of drugs they had us on. What could possibly induce delusions this elaborate?

  The box of vanilla wafers I’d brought from the kitchen when I ransacked it brushed my foot. My stomach gurgled as I picked them up. Mandy swallowed hard and pressed her palms into the bedspread, dragging herself farther away from me.

  “If you’re going to get stupid again, I’m sleeping on the couch,” she said. “I can’t do any more vomit right now.”

  “I’m starving,” I whined.

  “Hey, I offered to hunt for you earlier.” She shrugged and dusted a crumb off her leg.

  “I’m not eating my neighbor’s cat.” I curled my nose up at her.

  “What about that rat your sister brought with her? There’s some easy pickings.”

  “Ugh!” I gagged.

  Mandy made a serious face. “If that thing tries any funny business, I’ll eat it myself.”

  “I can’t… I can’t even think about eating a house pet.” I panted as my stomach did a summersault. The scary part was, I wasn’t sure if it was out of disgust or craving. My body had turned on me in the worst possible way.

  Mandy snorted and picked at her fingernails. “Well, you’re not eating me.”

  “I don’t want to eat anyone,” I said, my voice rising and then falling as I remembered Laura. Her bags had still been in the living room when I made my mad dash to the kitchen. “I don’t want to eat anyone,” I hissed again in a low whisper.

  Mandy propped her hands on her hips and sighed. “Well, you’re going to have to figure something out, and soon. I’ve heard about baby bloodsuckers who refused to feed. They turned into ravenous animals, like, for real. After a few days, they had to be put down.”

  That was reassuring.

  “How many days are we talking here?” I asked, wrapping my arms around my folded legs and squeezing until my chest ached.

  “Three tops.” Mandy’s lips puckered thoughtfully. “There’s a butcher in East St. Louis. He sells cow blood, but not legally, so you can’t ask for it in front of other customers.” When I narrowed my eyes at her, she added, “I overhead a bloodsucker mention the place.”

  “Cow blood? Really?” An acidic taste crept up the back of my throat, and I thought I might throw up from the very idea of it.

  Mandy leaned across the bed to snatch the box of cookies out of my hand. “It’s either that or rabies. Pick your poison.”

  “I need a shower,” I said, uncurling myself and easing off the bed. I retrieved the clothes I’d thrown at Mandy in her wolfy form and zombie-walked toward the bathroom.

  “Make it quick,” Mandy called after me. “Sunrise isn’t far off.”

  “Whatever.” I sighed and closed the bathroom door behind me.

  A shower is a nice, normal thing I can manage, I thought. Plus, if I really was a vampire, wearing sweatpants had to be against the rules. I was sure it was written in stone somewhere. Maybe inside a gothic crypt in some cursed cemetery. Would I have to sleep in a coffin now? I had so many questions, and with Mandy being a werewolf and all, her answers were likely limited. But where did that leave me then?

  The vampires Mandy knew were either pimps or sleazy customers who frequented a brothel made up of unwilling homeless girls. Not the kind of guys I wanted showing me the ropes. Maybe when I picked up my cow blood takeout, I’d bump into a nice fanged fella who didn’t care to munch on people either, and I could ask him where all the decent vamps congregated.

  I laughed to myself as I turned on the water in the shower. This was some trip. Maybe I’d wake up soon—preferably in a run-of-the-mill hospital—with Will looking down at me. He’d tell me that the bad guys had given us a run for our money, but we got ‘em. I’d gotten my melon mashed a little in the process, but job well done. First case closed on the vice squad. I’d bet we even had some kind of award coming our way.

  The new fantasy played out in my aching brain and grounded me as I shampooed and conditioned my hair. The steam filled my lungs, easing the burn in my throat. I didn’t try to drink any of the water, though. This moment of reprieve felt too good to risk spoiling.

  I was practicing my acceptance speech for the award I was sure Will and I would receive when the shower ran cold. I turned off the water and stepped out onto the bath mat, grabbing a towel from the adjacent shelf built into the wall next to the vanity. The mirror was fogged over. I ran my hand through the condensation and tried to smile at myself.

  “Please, please,” I said to my imaginary audience. “I’m just a rookie. The real credit goes to Detective Banks. I don’t know what I’d do without him—” My voice broke, and the illusion died, wiping the smile from my lips. Two black pupils stared back at me, in a face too pale and gaunt to disregard.

  Will was dead. He wasn’t coming
back. We didn’t catch any bad guys. We weren’t winning an award.

  I’m a vampire. The words finally sank in. Just as the rising sun peeked through the bathroom blinds. It cut three thin lines across my shoulder, searing the flesh like a laser.

  “Ow! Shit!” I flinched, stumbling back against the door. I reached for the handle and yanked it open, but before I could go any further, darkness fell, and I was dead to the world.

  Chapter Seven

  When my eyes peeled open, the alarm clock on my bedside table read 8:20 P.M. Perfect. I wondered if Laura would still be in the mood for pancakes. I’d promised her breakfast before accepting my predicament, and now the thought of food made my skin crawl. If Gatorade could make me vomit blood, I didn’t want to know what flapjacks were capable of. It was beginning to dawn on me how impossible living a normal life would be.

  I sat up and rubbed my face. I didn’t remember making it to my bed last night—or putting on clothes. When the tag of my tank top tickled my chest, I realized I must have had help. My first guess was Laura, but she would have called 911 if she’d found me unconscious on the floor. Plus, she would have ditched my original pajama selection for something that actually matched, and she wouldn’t have put my tank top on backwards.

  The bathroom door opened, shedding light into the dark room. Mandy leaned against the doorframe, her mouth foaming with toothpaste. “Thank God,” she said. “Your sister is killing me. She’s got to go—she and that thing she brought with her.”

  I squinted at her in the harsh light. “Is that my toothbrush?”

  “Ew.” She made a face at me. “It’s a new one I found in the cabinet.”

  Thinking of teeth, I shoved two fingers into my mouth to touch the tips of my canines, checking them for abnormalities. “Ith I’m a vampire, why don’t I hath thangs?” I asked, sounding like a dunce trying to carry on a conversation with a dentist.

  Mandy paused her brushing and poked her head out of the bathroom. “They only come out when you feed.”