by J Haney
“What in the world is going on out here?” Noel asks, still in the same clothes only now she’s got flour on the face and in her hair.
“Nothing. Just figuring out people’s place it seems.” I go back to cutting dough and setting it aside since she bailed on that. “Seems some people are royalty and others staff.”
“Nobody is royalty, at least not anymore.” Noel says making her way back into the kitchen. She's being extra careful not to accidentally touch me, but I still feel her nipples as they graze my back.
She really needs a wider kitchen. Perhaps I should expand it a bit for her; the living room wouldn’t miss two feet. I clear my throat, wait for her to pass and point with my dough knife at Nolan. He’s sitting with his feet up just watching TV. “You don’t call that princely behavior?”
She licks her lips looking up at me before pulling one into her mouth. “He's Italian, what do you expect? He takes after them more.”
“I’d have expected more.” I wrap the dough and set it aside. “We have other things to make while that rests. If you want to sit with him, I can handle it.”
“No, I can help.” She says grabbing the stuff for the filling before whispering. “Maybe we shouldn't... Um, well, you know.” She looks over at Nolan, and he's oblivious to what's going on in here.
I just nod. Wow was I just shot down by a seventeen-year-old girl?
***
I’m keeping my distance, which proves pretty easy once the kid starts his camps. My shop picks up during the summer months, and business from loans is on a full rotation. Noel has been at Walmart for about two and a half months so far, and it's been quiet. The chatter about her and the kid in Chicago still goes strong. Each family thinks the other has them. Of course, that could be due to sightings in the neighborhoods. I’m just getting ready to close up for the night when my emergency phone dings.
Wee Bird: Help! We have a suspicious character lurking about.
I pull up my phone and the security app as I’m heading for the truck. All the lights in the house are on, and I can clearly see Nolan in the kitchen. Little shit’s got the phone. Looking around more, I see Noel and the swoosh. Guessin' Nolan doesn’t like the guy either.
Me: You do what needs being done.
Wee Bird: How do I get rid of it?
Wee Bird: Never mind, I’m kidnapping me a cat.
Laughing to m’self, I head home. He’s got this handled. I can’t help but watch a bit as I’m driving. Swoosh has very little game. He tries to get an arm around her, but she moves off pretty fast. I see Nolan lurking, biding his time. He needs to move it along though because they put in a movie or something and by the time I’m home they’ve begun to make out a bit.
Fred where the fuck are ya, buddy? It’s sloppy; this twatwaffle doesn’t know how to take care of her. He’s got no passion. There, finally! The swoosh jumps up as he’s jumped on by twenty pounds of a fat cat. Noel backs into the couch as Fred falls onto her. I wince I’m pretty sure he scratched her this time. I can hear nothin', but she sure looks like she’s screamin’ like a banshee.
Nolan comes in from outside and can’t contain his laugh. Carlo is laughin’ too, and she is seething. Her little head is boppin' back and forth. one hand on her arm as she stands the other pointing at Fred as he runs for the door. He doesn’t like the yelling. Nolan grabs him and disappears. Noel heads for the bathroom. I watch as swoosh uses the hall mirror to check himself out. Ugh, I hate these metrosexual hipster types. He knocks on the bathroom door, and it swings open.
Noel looks angry still. They talk. She points him away. He tries to invade her space. She pushes him off, he tries again, and she grabs a curling iron. I don’t know what she said, but I can imagine. He grabs her wrist, and she knees him in the nuts and twists his arm. He hits the ground, and she kicks him in the ass as he’s trying to crawl away. He should have left when she asked.
My phone buzzes again:
Wee Bird: And another one bites the dust…
13 Onóra
This weekend has been a wreck. Carlo turned out to be a cocksucker. He kept trying to push himself on me even after I threatened to shove my curling iron where the sun doesn't shine. My allergy isn't getting any better. I've taken pills, an oatmeal bath, and my cream. Yet nothing is working. I've had the weekend off, thankfully but it's Monday now, and I had to call off for the first time. I've been working like crazy.
Rónán came and got Finn earlier. I told Finn to take my card to pick up Chinese for dinner. I feel horrible, and there isn't any way I’m cooking. I've slept off and on all day waiting on Finn to get home. It's been way too quiet.
“Hey, I'm home. Rónán says to feel better.” Finn shouts then gets quiet for a few, but I hear stuff being sat down before he comes into the room. “I've got food.”
“Did you have fun?
“Yeah, Rónán took me for ice cream.”
“Dessert before dinner, huh?”
“He said it would be okay.”
“I'm sure he did. Go ahead and eat. I’m not hungry.”
“Okay, but we should clean your arm; it's looking worse.”
“Bring me the stuff, and I'll worry about it.” Finn brings me everything, and I clean the wound before laying back down.
***
I wake shivering. I can't get warm. God, what time is it? I look at my alarm, and it says midnight. Ah, shit, Finn. I'm weak but pull myself out of bed. I need to make sure he's okay.
Before I can make it from the room, I drop into the door then the floor. If Finn wasn't up, he is now. His feet just hit the floor. Next thing I know Finn is beside me.
“We need help. Something's wrong.” I tell Finn with chattering teeth.
He leaves me for a moment; then I hear him speaking. “Rónán, we need help.” It's quiet for mere seconds; then his hand is on my head. “She’s on fire, but her teeth are chattering. The place on her arm is worse too.” More quiet. “I can't lift her. How do you expect me to get her dressed?”
Finn walks away leaving me. “Where are you going?”
“I need to get your clothes. We need to try and get something else on you.”
Finn’s helped me sit up and trying to help me out of my tank when Rónán appears.
“Just help me to the bathroom and give me my clothes. I don't want you to ya know.”
“Get over ya'self. Yer sick as a dog.” I’m scooped up, and he kicks the door closed before putting me down on the bed. “Strip- unless ya need more help.”
He turns away and goes for my drawers! “Hey, get out of there.” More chattering. “You shouldn't be in there.”
“Wee bird ain’t nothing in here I ain’t seen or taken off with my teeth a time or two.” He tosses a bra and a pair of panties at me, both fire engine red. “Now we need to be gettin’ ya into the shower to break that fever some. Or would ya be wantin’ a bath?”
“Can't you just help me in there then I can take over? Instead of you being there?”
“Oh, so ya plan on drownin’ then? Good plan.” He’s got me up in his arms again and off to the bath we go.
He sets me down on the toilet, and I begin to pout. His hands are so soft. I like the feel of them. I wonder what they would feel like on the rest of my body. Even just my breasts. Ooh, his mouth. Now that I bet would be amazing. My hands and knees hurt as I realize Rónán is talking to me. I look down, and he’s on his knees, and my hands are gripping my own hard enough to leave marks! I rub the side of his face with my hand.
“You have piercing eyes. Did you know that?”
“Aye, thanks, but say it again when you’re not delusional.” I feel him pick me up and as I expect him to strip me, instead I’m lowered into the water in my underwear!
“Are you saying you feel it too?” I ask, looking up at him from the bath.
“Please, just would ya…” He looks away. “I’m gonna get ya clothes. You’ll be needin’ the doctor.” He makes to walk away.
“Don't leave me. People are alway
s leaving.”
He stops at the door taking a hard deep breath. “I’ll be right back.” And so he too leaves me.
I can’t stop the tears that fall. In the end, I'm just a stupid girl. I'll only end up being used for one thing. If I ever let anyone get close enough.
14 Rónán
Cat scratch fever. That’s what the doctors are sayin’. Poor wee bird, poor Fred. Seems they both got a ton of antibiotics in their futures. Her arm was nasty, and they needed to debris it. All pus and blistered. She should have called me sooner. I feel bad for leavin’ Nolan to deal with it alone. I knew she was allergic. He’s going to be doing some serious yard work for penance that’s for sure. While Noel rests in the hospital bed from the painkiller, they gave her I take the boy to the cafeteria for an early breakfast. It’s like five-thirty. They took their damn time to admit us that’s for fuckin’ sure.
“So, ya know ya will be makin’ up for puttin’ this on her right?” I say as we sit with our food. We are gonna need to step this up, or I’m gonna be in a world of hurt. This orange juice isn’t gonna replace my need for an insulin shot. I’m hypoglycemic and take insulin shots. I’m looking into a different method but have been kind of busy lately. I didn’t grab my bag before leaving the house, so I don't have my shots with me. I know better, but I was a little preoccupied. Maybe I can get the pharmacy here to give me one, and I do have my ID bracelet on my keys.
“You can't tell her. She’ll kill me. They said she would be okay. I had to get rid of the guy he wasn't good enough for her. He told me to stay away while she was in the bathroom.” He crosses his arms with a huff. “I think if a guy will be coming over, it should matter if I like him or not. I have to live there too, ya know.”
“I ain’t arguin’ it. It’s as much my fault as yours. I told ya to do what needed bein’ done. I can’t tell ya how many boyfriends I got rid of on my mum. Boy was she ever mad when she realized what I was ever up to.” I laugh. “They were dead beats and losers, had to go. Rory was good though. Good to me, even if she wasn’t always.” My voice gets low.
“I don’t want her getting hurt. She already has to deal with me. I’ve asked about dad, and all she will tell me is he’s taking care of business. I know she’s lying; I can see it on her face. She never was a good liar when it comes to those she loves. She can lie to everyone else but us.”
“Yer a good egg. Smarter than yer given credit for. Look I’m just- ya gotta cut her some slack. She’s as lost as ya are. I can try and help where I can, but I have my own shit, ya know? My being around too much it can call attention where ya don’t want it.” I’m not seeing so good. “I- don’t freak out, but I need you to grab that nurse over there. Tell her I need help. Hand her these.” I pass him my keys.
“O-Okay.” He’s up taking the keys and moving quickly from the sounds of it.
Bright lights, people talkin’. Seein’ Nolan being pulled away from me. My head swims. I let my sugar get too low. Damnit. Now come the force-feeds and the shots. The shakes suck. By the time I get my senses back, it’s about eight o’clock, and I’m sitting on a gurney in the ER.
“Fuck me. Kid, I’m sorry.” I lift my IV line hand to my pounding head.
“It’s okay; the nurse explained what’s going on. Are you feeling better?”
“Aye, fuckin’ hell. I’m stupid. I shouldn't of let it go so long. I should of grabbed my bag. You got enough to deal with. Christ, you must think I'm a stupid cunt.”
“Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?” I hear Noel’s voice. Looking over she’s being wheeled this way by a male nurse. “You okay?”
“Could use some pants.” I smile. “They stripped me apparently.”
Noel holds out her arms. “I’ve got a gown so you can have a gown.” She points at me. “We need to talk, without ears if they ever let us go from this God-forsaken place.”
I swallow, suddenly feelin’ even more exposed. I mean I am naked and all, with just a sheet over the family jewels, but her wanting to talk makes me feel as though she just pulled the sheet as the temperature dropped. I’m wishing they’d admit me suddenly.
“Yo, Rónán, you gonna survive or keel over? You ain’t-aren’t answerin’ me. Fuck! Just speak so I know you heard me and I can go back down the hall.”
“Talk, gotcha. I’m gonna find me pants.”
“Have fun with that. I’ve got another shot in my near future. Keep the kid, will ya?”
I nod and let my head fall back on the pillow. My brain needs to decompress. Too much in too short a time. She is wheeled away, and Nolan takes the Tv remote finding something to drone on about. I drift for a bit. I don’t know what it is about hospital beds no matter how uncomfortable they seem once you're in one, the naps just happen. The thing is with naps come all too lucid dreams…
It’s about noon when they let us leave finally. Noel’s hives are nearly gone, and her blisters have lost the angry red flare. She’s been given an antibiotic and told to rest for a few more days and keep track of the fever as it may return before this is all over.
We swing by my place so I can grab my bag and just as I’m coming through to the main rooms I see her standin’ there. “What are you doin’? I told ya I’d be right out.”
“First, sugar problems? Really! Those are serious. Most of the Italians have sugar issues. I’ve seen it my entire life. The shit you eat isn’t good for your sugar.”
“Look, I’ve been dealin’ with that since I was a kid. I take good care of it; I like food, though. I don’t typically forget my insulin. Today was a rare event… Mum.”
Noel takes a step toward me, rolling her eyes. “Don’t give me that attitude. Food is one thing, but the junk you eat is junk. You need to eat a more balanced meal.” She takes another step. “I was scared to death. You all weren’t there. I woke up flipping my shit.”
I step back, running my hand through my hair. “Look, I’m sorry. Like I said, it doesn't happen often. You were sleepin’; we were needin’ food. I thought we’d be back b’fore ya woke.”
“I know you didn’t mean to. That’s not at all why I’m upset.”
“Look, yer okay, I’m okay and so is he. Can’t we just leave it?” I turn from her heading out on to the back patio. The sky looks angry.
“Yeah, sure leave it. Leave it and everything else. I should be used to it.” She growls.
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” I turn back; this conversation is beginning to grate on me.
“Does it really matter? I doubt it. I’m going to wait in the car like a good little girl.” She turns from me. She hasn’t started walking, but she sure is mumbling and ballin' her fists.
I march up to her and spin her to me. “Ya got something to say; ya may as well get it out, I'm not driving twenty minutes in a car with you marinating in whatever yer fuckin' issue is now.” I snarl.
“Don’t you curse at me.” She pokes me in the chest. “You snapped at me. You wanted to leave, so fuckin’ LEAVE!”
“It’s my fuckin’ house! I’ll do what I please inside its walls!”
“UGH! You’re so frustrante! I don’t understand how you can make me feel one way then another in mere minutes. There are times I could kill you; then there are times I just want to yell. I want to say… Baciami, fottuto pazzo.” She’s breathing so heavy her rack is lifting and falling quickly.
“I don’t understand Italian.” My brows furrow.
“She called you a fool, for not knowing to kiss her.”
My head whips, and there is Christabel, my housekeeper. Is it the last Monday of the month already? That means the fourth is next week.
“We’re going home. Nolan will see you later.” Noel’s face is red as she turns and is heading for the door.
I grab her before she can open it. “Please stop.”
“I’m-I- Christ.” She turns to look up at me. She never put her contacts in. “What exactly do you want me to stop, Rónán?”
“Where do I start?” I look down at her
; I could get lost in those molten eyes. “Did ya really want the first time I kissed ya to be filled with rage? Wouldn’t ya rather it be a moment where we are both there, lost in the moment? Where ev’ythin' falls away and it’s just you and me locked in?”
“It will never just be you and me. If that’s what you’re waiting on, you’ll be waiting forever. I need to go home, climb in bed, and hide from the world. So, if you’re ready Nolan’s waiting.”
I let her go and open the door, defeated.
15 Onóra
The car ride from Rónán’s house to our place was quiet and filled with tension. All I wanted to do was hide. So I could cry, and nobody would know it. I can’t believe I let myself develop feelings for someone that could ultimately turn on us and get us killed. I know my age is what’s bothering him. Doesn’t he understand just because I’m seventeen means nothing? I’ve been older than kids my age forever. What have I gotten myself into? Finn’s been bouncing between us, but mostly he and Rónán are playing video games. I can hear it.
I uncover and check myself in the mirror. Mostly to clean my face up. All I need is him to see that I’ve been crying, though I’m sure Finn has told him. I need food, I haven’t really eaten anything since Friday, and it’s now Tuesday. I put my ear to the door to make sure nobody’s up messing around before I walk out of my bedroom.
I stop dead in my tracks just as I step into the kitchen and spot Rónán. I turn, trying to sneak away before he sees me.
“Ya might as well sit down. It’s done so ya can eat.”
I drop my shoulders. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
Rónán slides a plate across the table. “Shut yer trap and eat.”
“Hey, you’re up and going to eat. That’s a plus, right?” Finn says before taking a seat leaving the one between us open for Rónán.
Mother fucker, son of a bitch. I’m going to kill him.