“That’s not your job, Ry. It’s never been your job.”
But Ryan wasn’t listening. “I sat in the police station parking lot all morning, trying to get up the courage. I was so close to walking in there and telling them I did it. But I couldn’t. I’m sorry, Mom. I just couldn’t do it.”
He clutched Kristy even tighter, snot and tears pouring down his beautiful face.
“Pops needs you … I need you. Promise me you won’t tell them,” Ryan pleaded. “Please,” he pleaded.
“They could still come for me,” Kristy said, her own tears falling, thinking about Lisette out there somewhere, about Ranger Santiago’s “hundred percent closure rate.”
“Maybe they won’t. Maybe we’ll get lucky. It could happen, right? Please, Mom. Just promise me you won’t say anything. Promise.”
“I promise,” Kristy said, holding on tight. “You have my word.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Kristy sat across from Pops, the day coming to an end, the two of them picking mindlessly at their plate of cold cuts. Ryan was in his room, waving off offers of food. Kristy sat there, staring at her father, knowing she owed him an explanation.
“Pops … we have to talk about … about what I did …”
Pops held up his hand to silence her. “I made your mama a promise that I’d take care of you. Spent all those months watching chemo ravage her body, and the only thing she worried about, even when the pain got so bad she could hardly see straight, all she could think about was you. ‘Watch out for our Kristy girl,’ she’d whisper. Sometimes I think she knew I wasn’t cut out to raise a daughter. Maybe a boy would have been different, but—”
“Pops—”
“Don’t interrupt me,” he said sternly. “When I found out you were having a baby I felt like the biggest goddamn failure. My Kristy girl wasn’t ready to be a mom. But there you were, so damn assured and determined to get it right, just like your mama. And you did it. You’ve raised a wonderful young man.”
“We did that, Pops,” Kristy said. “You and me.”
This time he did acknowledge her, nodding in acceptance of her kind words.
“You think I don’t know that life hasn’t given you a fair shake? I was so damn pleased when Lance showed up. Right off the bat, he had a way about him. All that sports talk and him listening to my old war stories about work, making me feel like I was back in the land of the living, and not this worthless sack of bones. But ever since Ryan told me what Lance did to you, I keep thinking back to all the times we would sit and shoot the shit and I didn’t have a clue what he was doing. Not a goddamn clue.”
He was wheezing heavily, his face reddening as he spoke.
“Pops, it’s okay.”
“Hell no, it’s not okay. It wasn’t like I didn’t notice any changes. I’d think to myself, ‘Kristy looks awfully tired.’ Or ‘my Kristy girl is getting kind of thin. She’s working too hard.’ And then you had your accident and I thought that’s why you were struggling. But I never saw any signs that something was wrong with Lance. Not a thing. You don’t owe me an explanation, Kristy. You and me, we’re square. All I want is to find a way out of this. For all of us.”
“You think there is a way … a way out?” she asked, her voice cracking as she reached for Pops’s hand, desperately wanting her father to fix the mess she had made.
“I don’t know. But I sure as hell hope so,” he said, and she saw how helpless he was, how helpless they all were. There were no more plans, no creative solutions to this problem. There was only more waiting. But she’d made a promise to Ryan and Pops. Waiting was all she could do.
Pops slowly stood up.
“I’m not feeling so hot,” he said, leaning on his walker. “Think I’ll go lie down.” He was heading out of the kitchen when Kristy summoned the courage to ask one last question.
“Pops, you don’t … I mean, I know you said you understood, but all those years working with murderers, saying how awful and evil they were … you don’t hate me? For what I did?”
Pops slowly turned around and shuffled over to her. He leaned down and wrapped his tiny birdlike arms around her and leaned in close, the two of them embracing, his skin so thin and translucent it felt like he might simply disappear.
“Kristy girl, if I’d known what Lance was doing to you, I’d have killed the son of a bitch myself.”
He held on, clutching her tightly, two generations of Tuckers fighting to keep it together while the world burned down around them.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I need my job back, Gus. I have to work.”
Two weeks had passed since Ryan and Pops discovered the truth about Lance. Two weeks and no cops. No Ranger Santiago showing up at her door. Even the reporters seemed to have gotten bored and sought out new tragedies to expose. The reality that Kristy might actually get away with Lance’s murder began to set in. The soul-crushing guilt remained, settling into her bones, worming its way into every pore of her body, fragments of Lance’s final minutes flickering in her mind at the most unexpected times. But the day-to-day demands of Kristy’s life were status quo. Her home had never been cleaner, and the idea that she was just going to sit around and do nothing was absurd. She still had responsibilities, bills to pay, Pops and Ryan to support. She hadn’t received checks for the last two weeks, and when she called Gus he’d said he’d “look into it.” After everything she’d been through, the last thing Kristy wanted was to return to the Walls, but she had to keep working, at least for the time being. She’d given herself a timeline. Three months to find a new job. Three months.
Gus sighed, wringing his hands nervously, darting looks at the door like he was hoping to be rescued. “I’m afraid that’s not possible, Kristy.”
“Then at least let me know when I’ll get my back pay and give me a date so I know when I can return to work.”
“No … what I’m saying is … I’m saying you no longer work here.”
His words landed.
“Wait a minute … You’re firing me?”
“It’s not my call.”
God, what a cowardly weasel, always blaming others for his decisions.
“Then whose call is it?”
“My boss and his boss and his boss above him. Kristy, you work in public relations. You’re the story now. Carmen can barely get her work done, she’s been fielding so many calls about … you know.”
He didn’t mention Lance, wouldn’t even look her in the eye.
“I’ve worked here for over twelve years. I’ve spent my entire professional career running this office.”
He sat back in his seat, folding his arms over his belly.
“It’s over, Kristy. Not sure what else you want me to say.”
Kristy stared at Gus, refusing to cry. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“I better get a goddamn severance. Or I’m suing your ass.”
She walked out, slamming the door. The one good thing about losing her job was that she never had to see Gus’s fat, ugly face again. Kristy stormed down the hall toward her office. No. It wasn’t hers anymore. It was Carmen’s.
“Kristy,” Carmen said, raising her hands in surrender. “Gus just told me this morning. I didn’t want the job. I told him that. But they were going to hire someone else if I didn’t take it,” she said defensively. “I couldn’t even believe he offered it to me. I think he was just too lazy to interview anyone else.”
“It’s okay, Carmen.”
“It’s messed up. Everyone thinks so,” Carmen said. “I mean, you should’ve been promoted over Gus in the first place. It’s some real sexist bullshit. I bet you could appeal, hire a lawyer and fight this.”
“I could,” Kristy replied. “But I think it’s time for me to walk away.”
“A fresh start?” Carmen asked.
“Something like that.”
Silence lingered. “Anything I can do?” Carmen asked quietly.
Kristy surveyed this room where she had spent
so much of her life, the drab room filled with prison memorabilia, awards and commendations, family photos hanging from the wall and covering every surface of her desk.
“Can you help me grab some boxes from the cafeteria?” Kristy said.
“I’ll go get them,” Carmen answered. She squeezed Kristy’s shoulder and slipped out of the room. Kristy had spent years daydreaming of a different life, a different career. For all her talk of hating this place, now she found herself wanting to stay. The Walls, this job, was her only remaining tether. But that was reason enough to go. She didn’t belong here. Not anymore. She wasn’t one of the good guys. She was one of them. The guilty. The damned. Whether she went to prison or not, she would always be guilty. Her own burden to bear.
Kristy looked up to see Mac standing in the doorway.
“Fuck this place,” he said, and in spite of everything, Kristy had to smile.
“We always talked about leaving this dump, didn’t we?” she said.
“Yeah, I just figured I’d do it first.”
Kristy laughed. She hadn’t laughed in a very long time. Was there a world in which laughter came easy again? She wasn’t sure but she could hope.
“I’m gonna hate coming to work and not seeing your face,” Mac said.
“We’ll still see each other,” Kristy said, praying that it was true.
“I’m gonna hold you to that,” he said.
He reached out to hug her and this time Kristy held on.
“You’re a good woman,” Mac said. She wanted to believe him, but that was something else she’d have to reconcile. Who was she now? She’d have to figure that out. Mac pulled away first, his eyes misty.
“Don’t tell me you’re crying,” she teased.
“No way. Just got something in my eye. Be good, Tucker, and I’ll see you soon.”
Kristy stood and watched him head toward the death house. Carmen returned a few minutes later with the boxes, and they quietly and carefully packed up her remaining belongings. Staff members made the rounds, stopping by to commiserate, offering their condolences, the mourning period in full effect. Once everything was packed, Carmen and Kristy made three trips to the car, her belongings filling the SUV. Kristy returned to the office one last time. All traces of her had been erased.
“I almost forgot,” Carmen said. “You got a bunch of mail.” Carmen handed over a stack of letters. “Let me know if there’s anything you need me to handle.”
As Kristy tossed the letters in one of the top boxes, she spotted Clifton’s familiar scrawl on an envelope. He’d written her one final letter. She wanted to rip it open and read it, but she’d have to wait. Right now, Carmen was standing by Kristy’s truck, uneasily shifting from foot to foot, tears beginning to well.
“You’re the best boss ever,” Carmen said.
“I’m your only boss ever,” Kristy teased.
“I mean it, Kristy. You’re a great person and I’m gonna miss you so much.”
“I’ll miss you too. Promise me you won’t take any of Gus’s shit and don’t stay here too long. You’re better than this place,” Kristy said.
“I promise,” Carmen said. She hugged Kristy tightly, and then headed back inside. Kristy drove away, the prison growing smaller and smaller in her rearview mirror. All those years she’d dreamt of moving on and it finally happened. Not at all the way she’d imagined, but she was done with this place.
George Jones’s mournful tone filled the car, the miles clicking by. Kristy had just pulled into her driveway when she saw the white SUV in her rearview mirror, the Texas Rangers’ unmistakable logo gleaming in the bright orange sun.
Kristy replayed this morning’s events. Had she missed something at the Walls? Did Carmen and Mac know about Lance, what Kristy had done to him? Maybe they were in on it, working with the cops, afraid to spook her, telling themselves it was for her own good?
Was Gus’s decision to get rid of her a way to distance the department from Kristy’s crime? Her eyes darted to the boxes in the backseat where she’d left Clifton’s last letter, wondering what he might have said. Did Clifton offer the cops clues that might have led them to Kristy, unburdening himself in his final days and hours?
“Mrs. Dobson?”
Ranger Santiago was standing outside her car, peering through the window. She opened the door and stepped out of the car, the two of them facing off. Through the kitchen window, Kristy spotted Pops and Ryan watching, expressions frozen. She shook her head, a silent warning to them to stay inside.
“Mrs. Dobson, I have a few more questions. Can we go inside?” he asked.
The last thing Kristy wanted was for Pops and Ryan to watch this man cuff Kristy and lead her away. She certainly wasn’t going to make this easy for him.
“I’m happy to speak with you right here,” Kristy said.
He wasn’t expecting her to decline, but he didn’t miss a beat. “Great. I appreciate your cooperation. Do you recall filing a police report a couple years ago? Someone vandalized your vehicle?” Ranger Santiago asked.
They’d found Lisette.
“Yes. But the police never found out who did it,” Kristy said, doing her best to appear unflustered. It’s all crashing down. It’s over. It’s finally over.
“Do you know a woman by the name of Lisette Mendoza? Does that name sound familiar?” Ranger Santiago asked.
“No. I’m afraid I don’t know who that is.” Kristy had come so far. She would keep her promise to Ryan and stick to her story until the very end. Deny. Deny. Deny.
“Austin PD found her last week. OD’d in a motel,” Ranger Santiago said.
Kristy exhaled, guilt flooding her. She should’ve gone after Lisette, gotten her help instead of being afraid. But it was too late for regrets. Ranger Santiago was waiting for a response. “That’s terrible. But I don’t know what that has to do with me or Lance.”
“Lisette’s mother, Hannah Mendoza, was also married to Mr. Dobson. A few years back, she committed suicide. It appears Lisette Mendoza blamed Mr. Dobson for her mother’s death. We have reason to believe that she may be responsible for his murder.”
Kristy’s legs wobbled beneath her. Ranger Santiago reached a hand to steady her but she waved it off.
“I’m fine. I’m fine,” she said. She wanted to hear what he had to say.
“How do you … I mean, what makes you suspect that this woman was involved?” Kristy asked. “Did she confess? Did she say that she killed Lance?”
“The police in Austin turned over her journals and she spoke about vandalizing your truck and stalking Lance. I spoke to several of her former coworkers that said Lance showed up at her job and Lisette was disturbed by his visit, talked about making him pay. She had been living in a sober house, but at the time of Lance’s murder, she’d been released. Her whereabouts were unclear. She certainly had motive and opportunity.”
Kristy leaned against her car, propping herself up. They thought it was Lisette. That’s why he was here. That’s why they hadn’t sent a fleet of officers to arrest her and take her into custody.
“I thought you would want to know,” the ranger said.
“Yes … yes. Thank you.”
Ranger Santiago didn’t appear victorious, those eyes staring back at her, a glimmer of doubt, his detective instincts telling him something wasn’t quite right.
“I’m not totally convinced. I do think there’s something we’re missing, but unfortunately, I’ve been overruled. If new evidence were to turn up, we’d reopen the case, but as it stands, Mr. Dobson’s case is officially closed.”
Case closed. Lance’s case was closed. The knots inside her stomach slowly began to untangle, the heavy dread in her belly lessening ever so slightly.
“Thank you, Ranger Santiago … for everything,” Kristy said, her tone polite but firm. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to go be with my family now,” she said, willing him to leave. Go, she wanted to shout. Get out. But the ranger didn’t move, rooted in place, staring back at her, unbli
nking.
“If you ever need to talk, Mrs. Dobson, if you ever want to get anything off your chest, you know where you can find me,” he said.
“I appreciate the offer,” Kristy said. “But we’re looking forward to moving on with our lives. Trying to rebuild,” she said. He paused, and then tipped his hat and returned to his SUV. Kristy waited until the vehicle disappeared over the horizon.
Case closed. Case closed. The words echoed over and over again. The case was closed. They weren’t looking for Lance’s killer. It didn’t seem possible but Kristy was off the hook. Of course, there was no celebration to be had. Lisette wasn’t supposed to get swept up in Kristy’s mess. That was never part of the plan. Kristy knew she couldn’t change things. Lisette’s daughter would grow up without a mother, her life forever altered by Kristy’s decisions. But maybe this was the only way for Lisette to be free. Kristy didn’t know if it was an accidental overdose or intentional, but Lisette had finally gotten justice. At least that’s what Kristy would tell herself. It was the only way to move forward. She had a chance to do that now, a chance to start over and do things right this time.
She spun around, searching through the kitchen window for Pops and Ryan, but they weren’t there. She raced across the yard, hurrying up the steps of the porch and bursting through the front door. Kristy had so much to figure out. After all this time working a job she hated, Kristy promised herself she was going to find a job she cared about, do something that mattered. She couldn’t change what she’d done. She would always be a murderer, but she would spend her life trying to make amends. She also knew that she’d have to rebuild her relationships with Pops and Ryan, find some way to earn their trust. Most important, Kristy hoped one day she would find a way to stop punishing herself for the choices she made.
She stepped inside the house, shutting the door behind her. She looked up to see Pops leaning over his walker wheezing, while Ryan stood at attention, posture rigid, holding his breath.
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