Promiscuous (Book 2 in the Fixer Series)

by Raynes, Alyson

  “Yes darling we did, and your uncle wanted to help so he offered to donate his sperm for the procedure.”

  “What? Oh god, I’m going to be sick. Mom, how could you?”

  “Brooke, it was the only way we could have children and we wanted them so badly. Your father wanted children more than anything else in this world and he couldn’t have them.”

  “Are you kidding me? He has treated me like shit from day one and you allowed it! Don’t give me this stupid story about how he loves me and how he wanted me. He sides with a man that put a hit out on my life! Mom, he used to lock me in closets and whip me with the belt for no reason at all. Just don’t fucking sugar coat it anymore mom. I lived in hell and now I’m reliving it.” I was so angry I couldn’t see straight. Why couldn’t my mother see him for the piece of shit he was really was?

  “Brooke I’m sorry. I can’t take back the past but you deserve to know the truth. We were so happy when the procedure worked and we were able to conceive Stephanie. The artificial insemination worked perfectly with her. We were so happy with the results that we decided we wanted to another child. Your father hoped for a boy.” I rolled my eyes. “Well we all know how well that went now don’t we daddy!”

  “The second time around, there were two embryos that took.”

  “Let me guess, the little boy embryo died, right?”

  “Not exactly Brooke. There were two girls.” I sat there shocked beyond belief. Not only was my biological father my uncle but I had another sister; a twin.

  “Well, where is she? Where’s my other sister?”

  “Brooke, Sarah was your sister, you were fraternal twins.”

  “Oh my god. Why? Why did you separate us?”

  “Well we had agreed that Uncle Bobby would take one of the twins since he too wanted a child. We didn’t expect that we would have twins Brooke, it just happened. We agreed to live close by so that you two could be close to one another at all times.”

  “Mom! I killed my sister. And now my other sister is in the hospital dying too. Why didn’t any of you see fit to tell me this before? Does Stephanie know?”

  “No Brooke, she doesn’t.” I stood and walked toward the door.

  “I hate you all! This is beyond secrets and deceit. How could you do this to me, to us?” I turned to my father and glared at him.

  “You piece of shit! You knew all along and you treated me like a cockroach. I hope you fucking rot in hell!” I opened the door and stormed out to Dylan’s truck.

  CHAPTER 3

  The weather had begun to change, mirroring the reflection of my mood. If I had thought that what Stefan had done to me was the ultimate betrayal, I was wrong. The secret my parents and my uncle had been keeping for the last thirty-seven years was just the icing on the cake. I knew that I would eventually forgive my mother because I loved her. Forgiving my father, that was another story. I had buried the painful memories of my childhood so deep that they hadn’t come to fruition until I was sitting in my parents living surrounded by my mother, Dylan, my father and my uncle. Maybe it was because it was the first time I felt safe enough to let myself truly feel without fear.

  Dylan and Bobby followed me out, sliding into the truck. My uncle looked as if someone just beat the life right out of him.

  “Brooke, I wanted to tell you girls as soon as you were able to understand. You have to believe me. Your mother wanted to tell you too. Your father on the other hand, he didn’t think it was wise to ever tell you. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. The timing was all wrong.”

  “Uncle Bobby, I don’t understand why you would keep this from us. Not one of you ever thought to tell us. Not even after Sarah’s death. You all let me believe that she was my cousin. She was my twin sister for fuck sake! I killed my own sister. Do you have any idea what that feels like?”

  “I’m sorry Brooke. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me. All I wanted to do was help my brother and his wife. I never intended for any of this to happen.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I just need some time to wrap my head around all of this. It’s too much to take in with everything going on right now. You all have really fucked up timing though.”

  “I know sweetheart. I know.” I turned on the radio trying to drown out the voices in my head. Depeche Mode’s Never Let Me Down Again, came blaring through the Bose system. Oh, how fitting, I thought. I chuckled to myself thinking how much the groups music reminded me a little of S&M. I turned, smirking at Dylan when the next song came on, Master and Servant.

  “What?” he asked, trying to give me an innocent look.

  “What is this?”

  “Music.”

  “Smartass!”

  “Do you like my selection?” he asked laughing.

  “Of course but Master and Servant, really?” Dylan gave an evil grin.

  “Maybe I should tie you up and make you my servant Brooke.” My uncle started laughing in the backseat.

  “Dylan!” I scolded and the whole truck erupted in laughter.

  “You men are all the same, sheesh.”

  “I was only joking Brooke. Damn, you’re turning four shades of red.”

  “No kidding. You’re something else, you know that Dylan.”

  “Yep. Sure do. Just the way you like me.” I shook my head in astonishment as we pulled into the hospital parking lot. We said our goodbye’s to my uncle and then went to check on my sister.

  ***

  Tristan was where we had left him, by Stephanie’s side. He really was a beautiful man with a heart of gold. I especially liked the tattoo I could see peeking through his sleeve on his arm.

  “How is she?” I asked.

  “She seems stable. The doctor came looking for family but no one was here. He wouldn’t release any information to me since I’m not a relative. He said he’d be back later.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Tristan, thanks for staying with her, I’m sure my parents will be arriving any moment to see her.” Tristan stood and placed a kiss on Stephanie’s forehead, which seemed a little odd to me since he was supposed to be guarding her. I looked at Dylan as he shrugged his shoulders.

  “Dylan, can I have a word with you man?” Tristan asked.

  “Yeah. Give me just a minute.” Tristan nodded and then went to the waiting room. Dylan pulled me into his arms and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek.

  “I’ll be right back princess.”

  As I sat holding Stephanie’s hand, my mind drifted to when we were little girls. I remembered how care free and innocent we were. We were never allowed to play with the neighborhood kids when my father was home because he didn’t feel he should have to babysit them too. Once in a while he would let Mandy come over and play with us but Sarah was always welcome. We spent our time making mud pies, climbing apple trees and running through the sprinkler in the backyard, but most of all we would just laugh. Our dog Tippy would often follow us around eating all the apples we dropped on the ground. I laughed remembering how we took that dog with us everywhere. I remember one year my dad took us camping and fishing at Turquoise Lake. We had a boat, nothing fancy but Stephanie and I thought it was a yacht. Looking back, it was just a simple little fishing boat. That’s where we learned how to fish and although I enjoyed sticking my pole in the water I jumped and cried when the fish flopped around on the line.

  Stephanie was a much better fisherman than I. She had no problem placing a worm on the hook or removing a fish from the line. In the early evenings we would go hiking with my mother and gather logs, leaves and flowers and sit around making centerpieces for the picnic table. It was one of the most peaceful times in my life. The birds would chirp each morning waking us in our tents and somehow sleeping on the hard ground in a sleeping bag didn’t bother me. Funny how things changed as you got older. The smell of pine trees just after a rain storm was always invigorating to the senses. Those were some of the best times in my life.

  It all changed when I was about eight, that’s when m
y mom stopped being a stay-at-home mom and went back to work. Since my father owned his own business, his hours were more flexible, affording him to be at home with Stephanie and I after school. Up until that point my life had been pretty good.

  My father was a mean, hateful man when he drank. His drinking binges often started early and ended with me being beaten, locked in the closet and forced to do anything he wanted me to. I never told anyone about the sexual abuse for fear that he would kill me. He made that abundantly clear as he would tie me up and make me sit in the dark closet for what seemed hours. I was scared and would often cry. I learned that crying only spurred him on. Then the whippings came. He never touched my face or my arms, just my bottom and legs. That way he could continue his abuse as long as there were no bruises visible to my mother and the outside world. Once I was scared into submission, the sexual abuse began. I hated every minute of it and prayed that my mom or my uncle would show up and catch him in the act. Unfortunately, that never happened. He was a sneaky bastard who got away with everything.

  When I was fifteen I tried to commit suicide. I really wasn’t so different from Dylan’s sister Danielle. I still remember how it felt when I slid the knife into my flesh, the sting, the pain. It was the end of October, the air crisp and bitter; the trees reflecting how I felt, dead. The sky was gray as I sat on the kitchen floor of our home trying to take my own life. My mother found me lying lifeless on the floor when she returned home from work. I was rushed to the hospital and spent four months on a psychiatric unit working through my issues. I never disclosed the abuse to my doctor for fear that when I returned home, Thomas (my father) would kill me.

  No one ever would have suspected that I had tried to take my own life except for the scars that I now had on my wrists. Over time they had faded but the painful memories of that day remained. In some ways I wasn’t much different than Thomas. I took to drinking and partying excessively in my teen years to drown out the memories and pain of what he had done. He destroyed my innocence and a part of my soul. I had wished so many times that I’d been the one to die in the accident instead of Ryan and Sarah.

  Looking back, I see how that experience shaped who I became. I had read books about women who had been abused in their childhood. Many became promiscuous while others were fearful of sexual experiences. I was the opposite, never quite comfortable with anything that was of a sexual nature. Not that it was a bad thing to be choosy of whom I slept with but it did make me more immature than most women my age when it came to sex. However, Dylan was bringing things out in me that I’d never experienced or felt before. The intensity of our relationship was almost frightening and I hated keeping secrets from him, but there were some things that just needed to remain in the past.

  My parents returned shortly after six. I was exhausted and Dr. Chan hadn’t been in to give us an update on Stephanie’s condition. Judging by how she lay lifeless in her hospital bed, I was sure I knew what the update would entail. I gave my sister’s hand a squeeze and kissed her on the cheek and told her I would be back in the morning to visit. I hoped she could sense my presence, feel the love I felt for her. If I could have traded places with her, I would have.

  Dylan and Tristan were waiting for me as entered the waiting room. I could sense the tension in both of them as I approached. I wasn’t overly hungry but knew I needed to put something in my stomach before the day ended. I reached for Dylan’s hand and snuggled into him as he and Tristan were finishing their conversation.

  “You ready to get out of here?” I asked.

  “I’m ready whenever you are princess.” Dylan turned to Tristan. “Hey man, you wanna join us?”

  “Where are you guys going?” Tristan asked.

  “I don’t know probably some breakfast place. After the day I’ve had, I need something mild,” I said.

  “Sure. I’ll go if you two don’t mind me tagging along. I’ll fill you in on what I was telling Dylan.”

  “Sounds good. Let’s get out of here before I change my mind.”

  ***

  We settled on the Breakfast Bistro just north of St. Christopher’s Hospital. It was a tiny mom and pop restaurant that was run down but was well known for their omelets. We were seated in a large, red corner booth that faced the kitchen. The place smelled of grease and air freshener which made my stomach recoil something fierce. When the waitress came to the table I felt like I had stepped back in time. She looked like someone straight out of the 1970’s, very hippyish. The only thing on her that didn’t resemble the seventies was her long, black, fake fingernails. Talk about confusion, she was definitely an odd character. The sooner we ate and got out of there, the sooner I could relax. I ordered a ham, egg and cheese omelet and an iced tea. Dylan and Tristan ordered hungry man’s special, three eggs, four pieces of bacon, 4 sausage links, hash browns and biscuits and gravy. Where they managed to put all that food, I had no idea.

  Tristan sat across from Dylan and I, he was very tense. I hadn’t known him very long but I knew well enough when something wasn’t right. Tristan and Dylan were equally gorgeous men but Dylan’s demeanor was softer than that of Tristan. Tristan’s features were hard, you knew by looking at him that he meant business.

  “Brooke, when I was back at the hospital with your sister, I did some digging around.”

  “I assumed you would. Dylan had mentioned that he was having you look into her attack.”

  “I have some underground connections that I had to use. Your sister’s attack was not a random attack in the park.”

  “That’s odd, because I didn’t think it was either. I just can’t think of anyone that would want to hurt her. Everyone that knows her loves her. She has such a kind heart.”

  “Brooke, Dylan and I think they were trying to send a message to you.”

  “What? Not this crap again. Tristan, why would someone want to attack me? I haven’t done anything to anyone.”

  “Do you know anyone that has ties to the Italian mob?”

  “No. Why would I?”

  “I didn’t think you did but someone in the mob wants you to be scared.”

  “Well they’ve succeeded. I am scared but I refuse to stop living my life just because someone wants to kill me. Could it be Stefan? His last name is Arici after all and he knows the only way to hurt me is through my family.”

  “Brooke, we don’t think Stefan is involved.”

  “You saw him today Tristan. How can you say that?” Dylan gave Tristan a serious look and shook his head no.

  “What are you two hiding from me?” I asked.

  “Nothing princess. We just don’t believe Stefan would do anything to jeopardize his bail bond. He’s already in a lot of trouble as it is. Why would he risk it?”

  “Well maybe it isn’t him personally. Have you ever thought about that? Perhaps he knows someone or has some distant relative that’s involved.”

  “Anything is possible” Tristan said.

  We finished eating and dropped Tristan off at the hospital so he could drive my car back to Dylan’s penthouse. I made him promise not to drive it like he had earlier; fast and reckless. Judging by the grin on his face, I was pretty sure he didn’t heed my warning. I was grateful for the time that I would have alone with Dylan. I had missed him but I had also realized that some things needed to change in our relationship. I knew he wouldn’t be happy about it but I had to make him understand. What we really needed was time, time to figure out who we were and what direction we were headed in. I had doubts about being with him, about who I was becoming when I was alone without him. I didn’t want to rely on a man for my inner security and that was exactly what I felt was happening.

  CHAPTER 4

  I loved Colorado mornings in the spring. The cool crisp air, birds singing their love songs, always provided a feeling of renewed hope in me. Dylan and I had made sweet love the night before, everything seemed perfect. Until I rolled over facing him in bed and told him that things were moving too fast with us. He was perfect in every way ima
ginable, those beautiful blue eyes, that rock hard body and yet the man beneath it all was so loving, caring and intoxicating. I had hurt him immensely. I had only seen him cry once, when he told me about his sister Danielle’s suicide, which was another reason why I needed to slow things down between us. How could I spend my life loving a man when I couldn’t even tell him my darkest secret? A secret I knew that would destroy us both.

  When I told him that I was moving out and returning to work he got angry. I saw the panic in his eyes that he had been carrying around for the last couple of weeks. I knew he was concerned about my safety, honestly, I was too. I knew things were bad but when I saw the fear, and tears that pricked the corner of his eyes; I wondered just how bad things really were. I knew Dylan wasn’t being straight forward with me about the seriousness of the matter. He begged me to stay with him, pleading almost, for me not to leave him. It was a side of Dylan I had never seen before. Then I had a thought, maybe, just maybe he was just as dependent on me for his security and peace of mind as I was him. I promised him I would stay and explained that I would be just like any other roommate that he would have living with him. I knew he didn’t like the idea, I didn’t like it either but it was the only way I could stay living with him. I would occupy the guest the room that he had originally set up for me during my stay.

  Since I had compromised with our living situation, I informed Dylan that I would be returning to work. He tried to argue but I wasn’t willing to entertain his objection. I would be returning as soon as my sister was released from the hospital and able to be cared for at home. That’s if she was ever to return home. I couldn’t put my life on hold any longer, I needed to live. We held each other tight until we both fell asleep. I had woken up a few times throughout the night realizing that it was Dylan who kept waking me up. His sleep was unsettled, his face scrunched as if in pain. I held him tighter, hoping that he could feel how much I loved him.

  I crawled out of bed trying not to disturb Dylan as he slept. I went to the kitchen and started the coffee maker, knowing that today would be another emotional nightmare that seemed to consume my life lately. I was also sure it would be the last time I slept with Dylan in his bed for a while. That thought made me cringe, since I longed for his touch constantly. If only we could do the friends with benefits thing, that would be perfect. We all know how that worked out before, it didn’t. When I re-entered the room Dylan was just waking up. He was quite a sight. How someone went to bed looking that gorgeous and woke up the same; just wasn’t fair. His chocolate brown hair was tousled and the sheets were wrapped around his trim waist covering his most magnificent parts. I licked my lips remembering how good he made me feel.