He continues to pepper light kisses against my neck before he speaks. “Mac?”
“Yes?” My voice is faint and weak.
“Does this feel better?” He’s moved to the side of my neck now.
“Mmm?”
I’m momentarily startled out of my lust-induced fog when he nips my neck with his teeth. Before my brain can fully process the slight sting, his tongue swipes out to soothe the little bite.
“I asked you a question,” he says. “Does this,” he kisses my neck and gives a little suction against the tendon there, “feel better?” Again, he follows this with a nip and a swift lick.
“Y-yes,” I manage to get out.
“Good girl.”
My eyes flutter closed at his words. Lawson Westbrook was a consistent fantasy growing up, and part of my brain is unable to process that this is actually happening right now. Warm puffs of breath replace his kisses as he starts to gently graze my arms with his fingertips, a multitude of goosebumps left in the wake of his featherlight touch. Before things can progress further, I step away from his touch and feel the immediate loss of contact when I turn around to look at him.
“Lawson, I told you I can’t.”
“Bullshit, Mac,” he grounds out.
“Excuse me?” I say forcefully, my voice rising an octave.
“I said,” he takes a step toward me and I reflexively take a step back in response, “I call bullshit!” He stalks toward me slowly and my pulse starts to quicken again. He isn’t angry, but he’s much more forceful that I’m used to, his gentlemanly exterior rougher and unbridled.
“And what’s bullshit about how I feel, Lawson? Huh? Enlighten me, please.”
“Oh, I’ll tell you, darlin’.” He’s still walking in my direction, and I realize belatedly that we are heading further away from the barn’s entrance and are almost to the back wall. I’m running out of places to go. “What’s bullshit is that you’re lying. You’ve been eye-fucking me for days now. I don’t even have to look at you to know it’s happening. Just admit it. You want me just as much as I want you. The last few minutes alone have proved it. What’s so hard to admit about that?”
I swallow, not entirely sure what to say. Yes, I’m attracted to him. I won’t even bother trying to deny it. I may as well be honest.
“Yes, Lawson, I want you! Happy now? But,” I pause, “I won’t be some fuck buddy you call when you can’t get laid by one of your other regulars.”
He stops in his tracks and looks surprised. “Is that what you think of me?”
“I honestly don’t know what to think.”
“I told you I’m not looking for anything serious, not that I have a call list of women to fuck. True, I don’t have trouble getting laid when I feel so inclined. I just don’t fuck the same woman twice because I don’t want things to get complicated.”
“This isn’t helping your case,” I tell him as I cock an eyebrow.
“Let me finish,” he growls. “We’re both attracted to each other, and the past few days have been pure hell because we haven’t been doing anything about it. Like I said, I don’t usually fuck the same woman twice because I don’t like that they expect more than I’m willing to give. You know my family, and you know me. I’m willing to try something new and make an exception for you.”
“I’m honored,” I deadpan.
“All I’m saying is I’m willing to step out of my comfort zone and give you what you need this summer,” he says. His steps have slowed but he still makes his way to me. “I told you I’d take care of you, and I know you’re not a one-time girl. Honestly, I’m not even sure I’d be satisfied after just one night. I’m not looking for anything serious, and I’m telling you now so there are no surprises or false expectations. What’s holding you back?”
I finally reach the end of the line and feel my shoulder blades press into the back wall of the barn. I lean back, trying to figure out what to say. I can’t tell him that I’m terrified of taking things to the next level because I’m not sure I can separate lust and feelings. Instead, I look up at him and try to figure out what to say. He’s standing before me, our toes almost touching, and he looks so earnest and sexy that I feel my resolve fade away bit by bit. It’s in this moment I decide to come clean.
“What’s holding me back,” I say slowly, “is that I haven’t done this before. What if I become like those other girls and start to think about hearts and flowers?”
He stares at me for seconds that feel like eons, his eyes intent on mine. I have no clue what’s going through his mind, but he hasn’t stepped away. If anything, he leans further into my personal space.
“Can you be honest with me?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“If you start to feel that way, the moment it starts, let me know. Okay?”
I can’t believe I’m even entertaining this. “Okay…”
“And,” he continues, “are you still going back to Chicago after the summer?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Are you looking for anything serious?”
“No, I’m not. I told you the other day I just want to focus on myself.”
He surprises me by smirking and places one of his palms behind me on the wall. “I already told you...” he says. He brings his other hand up to my face, tucks a flyaway strand of hair behind my ear, and lightly caresses my jawline before he continues. “You focus on you and I’ll focus on you, too. What do you say?”
I can’t breathe and my mind is foggy. “Say?” I utter. I’m so disoriented that I’m reduced to one-word responses.
He chuckles and God, that sound will never fail to get to me. The sound rolls over me and hits me in all my aching spots. “What do you say to trying a temporary arrangement? We’ll give in to this attraction we both feel, only for the summer, and will stop if things get weird. Ball’s in your court, darlin’.”
At this point he’s pulled his hand back from my face, but I’m still caged in by his strong arm to my left. I stand here and think about his proposition, grateful that he’s not rushing me or pressuring me. I know in my gut that if I turn him down it’ll be the end of the discussion; Lawson is walking, talking lust, but at his core he’s a gentleman. I know this is a terrible idea and that I risk getting addicted to the man I crushed on for years, but looking at him now I realize I don’t have it in me to say no. This is what Eve must have felt like when faced with the temptation of biting into the forbidden apple, drawn in like the tide and unable to resist no matter what was racing through her mind. I take a deep breath and decide to let whatever happens this summer play out. I came here to find myself, break away from the unexciting norm that is my life, and take risks. This will have to be one of them. I fidget and can’t bring myself to look at his eyes, so instead I stare at his full lips.
“Yes.” My answer comes out quiet, so quiet he doesn’t hear me.
“What was that?”
Clearing my throat, I answer more loudly, “Yes. I said y—”
My words are cut off as Lawson leans in and presses his lips against mine in a scorching kiss that’s better than anything I’ve ever imagined. It starts off soft and slow so I’m able to savor the contrast between his lush lips and scratchy stubble. Within moments the gentleness recedes as we are both consumed by the lust that has been brewing between us since our reunion. He groans, and I feel the vibration from his chest all the way to the tips of my toes. His hand is still against the wall but he places his other hand behind my head, simultaneously steadying me and holding me in place as he controls our kiss.
I place my hands against his chest, turned on by the hard wall of muscle beneath my palms. His tongue darts out and gently presses at the seam of my mouth, seeking entrance. As soon as I part them and grant him access he licks into me and massages his tongue against mine, the sensation hardening my nipples to painful points. The feelings he stirs in me are a mix of pain and pleasure, bitter and sweet. He continues to taste my mouth, and as he consumes me I think to
myself that he tastes like the most decadent whiskey—dark, strong, and sinful. I surrender to him as he masters me with his lips and his touch.
I don’t know how long we kiss for, but I feel like I’ve indulged in every guilty pleasure known to man. Eventually his lips gentle and he slowly removes them from mine. I’m in a daze and stare at him in wonder as he removes his hands and steps back, giving us both space. His eyes are heavy-lidded with desire, and his lips are twisting up into his trademark sexy smirk. He gives me a heated once-over before he takes a few more steps backward.
I’m overwhelmed and stunned by him. I’ve never had anyone kiss me with such skill and passion, as if they were overcome and could barely restrain themselves. I gradually feel my mental faculties return as more distance is created between our bodies. “Wait, where are you going?”
He smiles as he continues to move away from me. “I’ve got to get back to work.”
“That’s all I get?” I ask, a smile lifting my swollen mouth up at the corners.
“No,” his smile fades immediately, and the inferno of lust he unleashed moments ago is briefly visible in his eyes. “That’s definitely not all. Be ready for dinner tomorrow at six.”
“Dinner? Tomorrow?” I ask incredulously.
His smile returns and dazzles me for a moment. Damn this man. “Yep. Like you told me last week, Mac,” his smile widens mischievously, “a little wait never hurt anyone.”
My mouth drops open in shock and he laughs, the sound full-bodied and sexy, as he finally turns away from me and heads out of the barn.
I stand here, stunned, unsure what to think. I bring my fingers up to my heated cheeks and am still smiling when he turns back and yells “Six o’clock!” over his shoulder, his stride not slowing down. I don’t move as I watch him walk away, a warm feeling buzzing in my chest. This man. With a final smile I push off the wall and get back to work, entertained by thoughts of what might happen tomorrow.
8
Time passes slower than sticky molasses on a hot summer day, and I think it’s because I’m nervous and excited for my dinner date with Lawson. To make matters worse, I haven’t seen him since he left me confused and filled with lust in the barn yesterday. It’s finally the end of the work day, and I’m standing in my room trying to figure out what to wear. I really wish I had seen him so I could get an idea of where we’re going or what the dress code is.
I look at the limited selection I brought with me from Chicago and almost settle on jeans and a t-shirt. As I reach out to grab the shirt I pause, my hand lingering above the cloth. Langley’s visit last week when we went to Smokey's comes to the forefront of my mind, and I reconsider my outfit choice. I don’t want to change my personal style but certainly I can sex things up a bit, especially if we’re going to be sleeping together. A burst of inspiration hits me so I move over to my dresser and look through the clothes I wore in high school. I know it sounds ridiculous, but if my dress was such a hit last week then maybe I should do the same today.
I sort through the piles of neatly folded denim and come across an adorable pair of black high-waisted shorts with lace pockets buried at the bottom of my dresser. I loved this pair of shorts as a teen, but they were always a little too baggy and dressy for everyday wear. I shimmy into them and am glad to find they fit better than they used to. A lot better. I look at my legs in the mirror and am pleased to note that while I’m showing a lot of skin, the length of the shorts is still respectable. Not only that, the fabric and cut make it so that I can easily dress these up with heels if needed. I look through my tops and find a cute white tank top that has a deep v-neck that’s both comfortable and straddles the line of casual and dressy. I try the top on, and my lace bralette adds the cleavage coverage I need so I don’t look like a hooch. Now, depending on where we go for dinner, I can opt for heels or cowboy boots and will fit right in.
I check the time on my phone and note that Lawson will be here any minute now. I give myself a once-over in the mirror and am happy with the final outcome. My fishtail braid looks amazing, and my minimal makeup enhances my features without being overdone. With one last swipe of lip balm I head downstairs and wait in the foyer for my date to arrive.
Not even a minute passes before I hear a soft knock. My parents are out running errands so I walk barefoot to the door and open it to reveal the sexy bachelor behind it. I feel my mouth drop open slightly as I look up at him because he looks mouthwateringly good. The porch light isn’t on so he’s backlit by the setting sun, his broad shoulders and good looks only enhanced by the shadows. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a turquoise henley. He must know how to dress to enhance his eyes because they’re striking against his shirt’s bright pop of color.
A blush steals across my face as I realize I’m staring at him. I seriously need to stop doing this, or he’s going to think I don’t have a brain. I part my lips to speak but stop, my cheeks reddening further as I realize he’s staring at me as well. His eyes do a slow perusal up my body and keep switching focus between my legs and eyes.
“You look beautiful, Mac,” he finally says as he hands me a small bouquet of irises.
His sweet compliment and gesture catch me by surprise. I bring the riot of purple, blue, and white blooms to my nose and enjoy their soft, sweet fragrance. I can’t even remember the last time a man gave me flowers, let alone my favorite kind. It’s nice.
“Thank you. How’d you know these are my favorite?” I ask as I continue to enjoy the flowers.
“I remember always seeing bunches of them in vases here at the house. I didn’t even realize they weren’t a regular occurrence anymore until breakfast last week. It was the first time I’d seen them here in years and figured they were your doing.” He looks sheepish, which is an endearing look for him. “It was a lucky guess,” he throws out as if it doesn’t matter. He may think it doesn’t, but to me it’s the little things that mean the most.
Sensing his slight discomfort, I take the lead with the conversation. “Your guess was spot-on. Thanks again,” I smile. “I’ll just place these in some water and we can get going. You can come in.”
He steps over the threshold into the house and his presence fills up the small entryway, immediately hitting me with a surge of lust. Why does he have to be so big and insanely good-looking? I quickly turn and head back inside before I toss the irises away and launch myself into his arms. Instead, I head toward the kitchen and place the flowers on the counter while I look for a vase under the sink. I’m rummaging around in the cabinet and finally find one that will work. Before I can straighten I hear an almost inaudible groan. With a discreet look behind me I see Lawson standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his broad frame almost filling it entirely.
I straighten and don’t turn back to him as I fill the vase with water. Once I’m sure my cheeks have cooled I turn, place the flowers in the vase, and try to arrange them. As my fingers maneuver the soft petals I glance up at him and see that he’s watching me intently.
“So,” I start awkwardly, “where is it we’re going tonight? I wasn’t sure what to wear. If I need to change let me know.”
He swallows deeply before he replies. “You look perfect, although I do recommend wearing comfortable shoes. As to where we’re going, that’s a surprise.”
I’m not going to lie, I’m intrigued. “Well let’s go then, handsome. I’m curious to see what you have in store,” I say as I head toward him.
He doesn’t move from the doorway as he responds. “I’ll just bet you are,” he says on a low murmur. “Guess you’ll just have to wait and find out.”
“I guess so,” I breathlessly say. I’m in the doorway with him now, our bodies so close together that the slightest movement will have us plastered against each other. We drink each other in for a few seconds before he clears his throat.
For the second time tonight, he surprises me when he leans back and gestures out the doorway. “After you.”
A small part of me was expecting him to pounce on me a
s soon as he had the chance, but for reasons unknown to me he’s behaving himself. I follow his lead and head back toward the front of the house with him close on my heels.
I slip on my cowboy boots and we head out of the house, the gravel crunching beneath our feet as we head to his pickup. He opens the door and I climb in, the feel of his palm on my lower back heating me up from the inside out. I buckle in and have to keep a knowing smile from gracing my face when I catch his eyes on my legs again. He makes sure I’m all set before he comes around to the driver’s side and hops in.
Buckling up, he looks at me and says, “Let’s get goin, darlin’. The night is ours.”
Lawson
For the first time in years I find that I’m nervous about a date. Why the fuck am I nervous? I’m used to wining and dining my one-night encounters, but I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I’ve agreed to more than one night, our plan for the evening, or the woman seated beside me that has me on edge. I have a sinking feeling that it’s a combination of all three.
We make brief small talk about the barn’s progress on the short drive, and I have to remind myself to keep my eyes on the road and not on Mac’s long, tan legs. We pass her family’s property line and continue for about a mile before I turn onto the unkempt path on the neighboring land. It’s at this point her curiosity is visibly piqued, her slender form leaning closer to the window to try and see where we’re going.
“So...is there something you’re not telling me?” She sounds suspicious.
“Nope. If there’s one thing you can count on with me, it’s that I’m unfailingly honest.”
“No, I think you’re going to kill me and hide my body somewhere on this land.”
Sin and Cider (Sweet Sinners Book 1) Page 6