by A. J. Vrana
Before Alice, his earliest lesson was that sustaining life meant taking life—that to live was to devour. This logic wasn’t unique to the animal world. The rich thrived at the expense of the poor; industry thrived at the expense of nature. Those who held the best cards won the game, and that left everyone else with little choice but to cheat. The game was rigged anyway.
As he lay under the willow tree, his eyes barely open while every fibre in his mangled body ached and bled, he still found the strength to be annoyed. He was angry at her—the girl—for approaching him, for disarming him to the point that he’d let her hand-feed him like some tame pup.
Don’t kid yourself.
Ignore it, Kai told himself. He closed his eyes and thumped his head back against the tree. Wrapping an arm around his abdomen, he palpated the area with his fingertips. His ribs were still cracked.
You lured her out.
“Did not,” Kai grumbled aloud, his head lulling against the bark as he fought to stay conscious. “Just...stumbled out, after you tried to kill me with that fucking bus.”
Kill you? the voice laughed, empty and humourless. Who do you think healed you?
Kai’s blood turned cold. He knew he was a lot tougher than the average human, so he'd assumed his quick recovery was just a biological advantage. “They would have turned me into a goddamn lab rat,” he snarled, refusing to give the entity even a lick of credit. “Don’t screw with me—I know you want me dead.”
And what would I do without you? Abaddon feigned sweetness.
Wishing he’d stolen some morphine from the hospital, Kai forced himself to his feet. He grit his teeth as pain shot up his left side and straight into his skull. Fuck Abaddon. He’d already gotten too much of Kai’s attention.
Instead, he thought of the girl. What was she doing there? Most of the roaches steered clear of the fields at night, but this chick had a danger fetish.
What were you doing there? You’re just as guilty as she is.
Kai’s jaw clenched so tight it began to ache. “Shut up,” he ground out. Even he couldn’t make sense of it—why hadn't he just stayed put when he’d sniffed her out? The beef jerky didn’t smell that good.
Aw, is it love? It’s too bad you won’t save her. You’re always too late.
“Shut up!” Kai drove his fist into a tree with everything he had left. “You’re the reason I never make it on time! You stop me from helping, then try to convince me I killed them!” He felt his knuckles break, the skin tearing clean off, but at least the voice of Abaddon finally quieted. Wincing, he pulled his arm back and sucked on the bloodied knobs on his hand.
After what happened in the alleys of Black Hollow, he was sure Abaddon was to blame for his meet-cutes with dead bodies. Why else would Kai black out whenever he tried to help the missing girls?
And now, Abaddon had detected his weakness for this one.
Love. How he hated that word. The mere mention of those four letters strung together in the right order set him off like a nest of hornets. He didn’t understand love—what it was or how it was supposed to function. He didn’t understand why it was so important, or if it was even real. From what he could tell, sex and loyalty weren’t enough, not even when companionship and affection were part of the deal. No, there was something else—some invisible quality to love that only humans believed in. Whether or not they actually knew what that quality was remained a mystery. In all likelihood, their brains were melting out of their asses, because from what Kai had seen, the line between love and hate for the human species was paper-thin.
Limping, Kai struggled back home, the familiar scents and sounds guiding the way. He knew not to rely on his vision; the forest liked to play tricks on people who did. Following the sun didn’t work either because time made no sense here. It seemed arbitrary—slowing, expanding, or stopping altogether sometimes, and he often didn’t have a good grasp of it. Time, in general, was a tricky concept for Kai. It was mechanical and empty, but when he found himself immersed in his senses like this, it was as though time didn’t even exist. He hadn’t an inkling of how long it would take him to find the cabin, but it was never any trouble, either. It was simply a matter of trust. He knew his instincts would take him there.
While his life wasn’t at risk, the injuries would cause him grief for at least a week or two. He wouldn’t be able to move easily, let alone hunt. Even now, he had to stop frequently. His lung was still partially collapsed, and the back of his head pounded like a hammer slamming through concrete. At one point, he doubled over and puked his insides out from the pain, his central nervous system screaming at him to stop pushing so hard. But he wanted shelter—a hole to nestle in where he could feel safe.
It took almost all night, but he managed to claw his way back into familiar territory by the time light peaked over the horizon. As he leaned against a large, red maple, he heard a distinct cry from above, accompanied by the scent of someone unfamiliar. They—she, rather—was inside his cabin, waiting for him. He squinted up at the treetops in search of the fat raven.
As the sun hid behind a passing cloud, he spotted the bird perched on a branch—a little black blob with three-pronged talons curled around the bony wooden limb. He was watching Kai; his beady little eyes gleamed as he trembled in delight.
“What are you lookin’ at?” Kai grumbled, frowning as the bird tilted his head and chortled lightly. Kai knew how smart ravens were, and this one had been nesting close by for a while. They were playful birds, often plucking at wolves’ tails to inspire a game of Catch Me If You Can. But Kai had no tail to be plucked, and the last few days had left him with a short fuse.
“Get out of here!” he barked, satisfied when the raven jumped.
Kai’s throat was parched worse than a desert. That beef jerky had been packed with enough salt to dehydrate an elephant. He growled, doing his best to march into the clearing and towards the cabin. It hurt like hell, but he cussed through it until he reached the door and punched it open.
Kai hated how it smelled in the cabin—like musty, rotten wood and dust. He had no cleaning supplies, no means of making it liveable. His bathroom resembled a murder scene. The mirror was cracked, the tiles stained with all manner of bodily fluids, and the toilet—well, the toilet was a dimension of its own. The tub looked like a dilapidated, porcelain lifeboat that had survived an apocalypse. There was a hose coming through a hole in the wall with a shower nozzle attached; while Kai appreciated having a tub, the water pressure from the showerhead was like a pissing rat.
Kai stood at the threshold of the tiny main room furnished with an old wooden table in the centre, taking up most of the available space. A plywood countertop was plastered along the back wall with a cracked sink haphazardly plunked inside and a portable, electric element tucked away in the corner. A woman sat on the edge of his futon near the adjacent wall—garbage he’d collected after someone had thrown it out, but a good scrub with some stolen bleach had made it useable again. Her legs were crossed, and her palms pressed down against the blankets on either side of her hips. As he walked in, her mouth quirked like she’d known the exact moment he would return. She was probably in her early thirties, with luxurious, silvery-white hair that fell over her shoulders and bright, amber eyes that looked like they could sear through iron. Her earthy scent and unusual hair colour gave her away. She was the first of his kind that he’d seen in sixteen years—a fact he didn’t rejoice while territoriality ran high.
They both stood frozen until Kai began to circle her from one end of the room to the other, trying to hide his limp. He trained his eyes on her, but she didn’t move, instead watching with a placid smile as he stalked like a nervous predator. Neither of them spoke. All that needed to be said was conveyed through the slightest frown, a twitch of the brow, a momentary slouch. It was a power dynamic being worked out—a battle for status that could be derailed with the tiniest hesitation. For some time, Kai refused to approach her. Fear prickled his skin as aggression rose into his throat; to sit
on his sleeping area was not just bold, it was insulting—like pissing on his favourite tree stump.
“I wouldn’t try anything stupid,” she spoke, at last, raising an eyebrow when he bared his teeth at her. “You’re hurt. I’ll tear your throat out faster than you can blink.”
Kai hated threats. He hated them even more when delivered cold from his own bed—but there was nothing he could do in his current state. Defeated, he pulled a chair from the table and turned away so she couldn’t see him cringe as he sat down.
“Good. I suppose you’re not as stupid as your temper.”
“You want something from me?” He looked up, shoulders pulled back and fists clenched.
Her smile widened, making her eyes appear cat-like. “Relax. There’s no need to get all alpha male on me. Especially when you’re half-dead.” Uncrossing her legs, she leaned back on her palms and tilted her head. “I’m not here to steal your turf.”
Kai’s shoulders sank as he gave himself to the pain, hunching over and resting his elbows on his knees. “What do you want then?” he asked, his breath laboured.
“My name is Ama,” she replied. “A friend called me here.”
The raven from earlier swooped down from outside and landed on the windowsill.
Kai glanced at the bird. “Didn’t realize anyone was looking for me.”
Ama absently scratched the tip of her button nose. “For some time now, yes.”
“How long?” he snapped, his muscles tensing as he gripped the edge of the chair.
“Longer than you’ve been alive,” she answered cryptically. “Since before the beginning.”
Kai looked back at the raven who was now hopping about, inspecting the walls around the window frame. “That sounds like horseshit.”
Ama chuckled. “I suppose it’s just a bit complicated for you right now.” She looked around the cabin while he seethed. “It’s a bit early to explain, but all will be clear soon enough.”
“And who’s this adoring fan of mine?” His lips curled up in a cold smile. “Did they send a bird to keep the monsters under the bed away?”
To his surprise, she burst out into a hearty laugh. “On the contrary, you are the monster under the bed as far as fairy tales are concerned.” She leaned forward, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Kai hissed, his teeth clenched.
The hair rose on his arms as she narrowed her eyes and watched him. He shifted uncomfortably, pretending to be more interested in the walls than her.
“Let’s bring him out then,” she murmured, rising from the bed with a creak.
The movement seized Kai’s attention. He turned back to her, eyes wide. “What?”
He leaned away as she grabbed his chin between her thumb and forefinger. She tilted his head back, and as he tried jerking away, a bolt of pain shot down his spine. Whiplash was a remarkably unyielding asshole.
As he struggled to raise a broken arm and tear her hand away, she quickly intercepted it, smacking it down like an annoying fly. Kai bit down a scream, his shattered bones blighting him with more agony. The limb fell limply to his side, and before he could muster the strength for another attempt to free himself, her eyes locked on his. Their warm, orangey hue brightened as everything around them began to fade out. It was like she was inside of him, her irises growing brighter as the life in him waned until he could no longer sit up or stay conscious. His every muscle wilted, and he tumbled to the floor with a thud.
Stepping away from the unconscious figure, Ama listened to his heartbeat and breathing to ensure he was out for the count. Once she was satisfied, she crouched down and hooked an arm around his back, lifting him up and dragging him to the bed where she dropped him like a duffle bag. The raven looked on from the windowsill.
“He’s built like a tank,” she huffed, rolling her shoulders out. The bird tilted his head and responded with a low croak. She smiled at her feathered friend, then sauntered over to the chair and sat down, resuming her cross-legged position.
A light groan sounded from the bed as Kai broke out into a cold sweat, his face contorting. The raven dipped his beak to watch while Ama grew still and vigilant. Holding her breath, she tightened her jaw and swallowed hard.
“It’s begun.”
13
The Reunion
Kai found himself standing barefoot in the woods. The faint smell of smoke wafted from somewhere nearby, voices shouting, closing in. Crimson blood soaked the mud and snow around him. Gradually, Kai realized he was surrounded by death. Animal limbs and entrails were strewn across the tainted earth. Alongside them lay mangled wolves, maimed and disfigured, the hinges of their jaws ripped open in grotesque snarls of agony. As he walked amidst the carnage, the smoke grew stronger, cinders rising to the sky as the smog thickened in his lungs.
The bloody trail led into a village. It smelled of Black Hollow, but there were no roads or cars, no buildings made of brick, and no alleyways to hide in. Houses were aflame, roofs collapsing as wood turned to ash. At the mouth of the tiny settlement was a pyre, ropes encircling a black, charred mass. It was shaped like a human, the outline of the skull still visible amidst the blaze, her mouth agape—frozen in a silent, eternal cry of terror.
A shrill call drew him back towards the red-soaked earth. A raven crawled, his wing broken and his leg writhing, towards the body of a dead child. The boy was pristine—midnight hair stark against his waxy skin, parted grey lips and glassy, lifeless eyes giving him the appearance of a porcelain doll. The raven bobbed his head as he curled his talon around the boy’s swollen fingers—that one, pearl black eye gleaming before he plunged his beak into the corpse’s abdomen, tunnelling his way inside. A satisfied rattle echoed from the scavenger’s bubbling throat as he devoured all he found, his slick form gradually disappearing as he burrowed into the hollowed cadaver.
The boy’s chest wall swelled, bulges pulsating under the flesh. His head lulled to the side, his jaw slackening with each undulating distention. The convulsions faded out, an eerie stillness following the possession before an arm jerked, a leg twitched—and finally, an aberrant gasp for air ripped through the boy. As if pulled by puppet strings, he flowed upright in one smooth motion, his hand twisting as the puppeteer grappled for control. Grasping the boy by his chin, the hand snapped the jaw back into place, teeth clamping together with a click...click...click. His neck jerked this way and that, snapping in and out of place before it grew accustomed to the new range of motion. Slowly, the head turned towards Kai, tilting to a near right angle—wide, pitch-black eyes boring into his soul.
The horror invaded Kai’s body, waves of nausea rocking every cell. From the pit of his stomach, a sound emerged, tearing into a scorching scream that rent the air. Little by little, he became aware of another presence. Kai looked up, but he was no longer in the village.
A tall figure stood in the shadow of a rocky wall, cutting off Kai’s escape. It was a man, his imposing height and broad shoulders slicing through the shade of the stone structure. Dried blood crusted his hands and tattered black hair, and the expanse of his back was marred with scars that traced around his chest as he turned.
The air stilled, thick and suffocating as Kai found himself unable to breathe; the man wore Kai’s face, but his gold eyes gleamed with malicious intent.
Kai was certain he knew him.
14
With a violent pull, Kai was wrenched from his nightmare, gasping as cold sweat poured down his burning skin. He was shaking uncontrollably, and for at least a minute he couldn’t see a damn thing—that hateful sneer and the mangled corpses still dancing in front of his eyes. The stench of fumes and rotting flesh made him lurch forward, coughing until he nearly threw up. Fire smouldered every inch of his skin, searing into the back of his skull. He clenched his knees to his chest, regressing in both body and mind, desperate to grab hold of something real.
“Kai.”
It was Ama’s voice, breaking thro
ugh the fog. A hand was on his shoulder, fingertips squeezing him until he jerked back. The first thing he saw was the golden amber of her eyes—warmer and darker than the cold gleam from the figure in his nightmare.
“What the fuck did you do to me?” he growled, swooning as he swatted her hand away. He was still injured, still in pain, and now thoroughly scrambled in the head. “How do you know my name?”
“He told me,” she said, canting her head towards the window where the raven still sat.
Kai glanced at the bird, the image of the boy’s corpse flashing through his mind. Feeling his stomach churn, he reeled forward onto his knees. He clenched his teeth and bit back the bile. It wasn’t the gore that made him feel sick, but the disorienting whirlwind of sensations that flooded him as he grappled with the memories. “What did you do to me?” he demanded a second time, his voice crossing over into something feral.
Ama stepped away and sat in the chair. “I called him here.”
Kai was about to bark at her to stop being cryptic when his doppelganger flitted before his eyes. He knew exactly who she was talking about.
“Why?”
She considered him carefully, absorbing his reactions. “I wanted to see how bad it was. I got my answer.”
“Why!” he snapped again.
“I told you,” she sighed as if speaking to a child. “I’m here on behalf of someone who’s been looking for you.”
Before he could lunge at her with another question, she lifted a finger, cutting him off with a sharp look. “This entity that’s been haunting you—does it have a name?”
Kai swallowed as he watched the raven, wondering what it was, and why it had crawled into that boy’s corpse. He still didn’t trust Ama. If that was the kind of monster she was working with, he wanted to run for the fucking hills. Why was she even here?