by Tara Lain
“Holy crap!” JJ threw his head back against the seat and tried to breathe. Hard and steady, the pumping action boiled juice in his balls and straight up JJ’s spine.
Ryan chuckled and whispered in his growly voice, “You like that, big guy? Sometimes you just have to be creative to get what you want.”
That tricky devil, choosing the lane where they could go slow and not have to deal with so much traffic. Of course, trucks would get an eyeful, but what the hell? Oh God, it felt so good. But no way was he getting all the goodies. JJ reached over an arm and unzipped Ryan.
The cop looked down with wide eyes. “You figure I have driving control of steel?”
“I trust you.” He stuck a hand inside and, holy moly… “You’re commando!”
“Yeah. I don’t like underwear much.”
“I’m not complaining.” JJ grabbed a nice, thick penis. “You’re packin’ there, Detective.”
“Always prepared—holy shit!”
JJ grinned. He had big, strong hands, and he wrapped one tight around Ryan. Stroke and stroke. Ryan’s eyes widened, but he kept staring at the road. JJ watched his own hand pumping Ryan’s thick cock, then looked down into his lap where Ryan was starting a bonfire with JJ’s wood. This had to be the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Probably the dumbest too, but right now he couldn’t care less. Driving down the freeway doing a double jerk-off. The smell of sex filled the car and went straight to JJ’s head. His hips danced under Ryan’s hand like they had their own mind.
Ryan made funny little noises. But he kept his eyes glued to the freeway like it was his path in life. His breath came faster, and his hand in JJ’s lap pumped harder.
A big semi whizzed past in the right-hand lane, and JJ looked up at the driver. But the guy didn’t turn his head. Might have been fun if he had. Ryan’s hips pumped up just as much as his foot on the gas would allow. JJ didn’t have any such restriction, and he was bobbing and weaving while lightning bolts of pleasure flashed through his cock with every stroke of Ryan’s hand.
Ryan took his hand off JJ’s cock and grabbed JJ’s pumping hand. “Hold on. Go slow or I’ll come, and that could be very bad for my driving record.”
“Okay.” JJ barely got the words out, because Ryan’s hand was back on his cock.
“Just let me take care of you, big guy. It’s fun for me.”
“I think it’s way more fun for me.” JJ let his head fall back against the seat, his hands went limp by his sides, and he surrendered to Ryan’s one-handed dick massage. Lord, this was so great.
Now that Ryan was no longer being spurred on by JJ’s pumping, he added more finesse to his technique. Wow. Ryan caressed JJ’s glans and then found the leaking tip and pushed in. Sweet. No, hot! Sweet and hot. JJ moaned. “I’m going to come. Stop if you don’t want me to.”
Ryan glanced at JJ with a grin, then looked back at the road. “Oh no. I need my reward for a job well done.” He tightened his hand and wanked one, two, three.
“Sweet god of happy gay boyyyyysssss.”
JJ kind of heard Ryan laughing, but, man, was he busy. His balls exploded their juice in a fiery stream into Ryan’s hand as jolts of electric pleasure seared up his spine. His hips thrust up as the orgasm flashed through him, and then he collapsed back so hard it was a wonder he didn’t wind up in the back seat. “Oh. My. God.”
Ryan kept chuckling as cum dripped between his fingers. “Just in time. We’re almost there.”
“My cock is gasping for breath.”
“I think I about strangled little JJ.” Ryan looked over. God, it was so great when Ryan smiled. He looked like he was eighteen and playing a schoolboy prank. “By the way, little JJ isn’t so little. You’re hung, my man.”
JJ looked out the window. They were almost to the Winter Fantasy. “Pull over on that side street.”
“Why?”
JJ smiled. “I’ll show you.” He reached in his pocket for a condom. Ryan barely got the car in park before JJ grabbed his half-mast penis, still sticking out of his jeans. JJ started cranking that puppy like he was starting an engine.
“Whoa, cowboy.” Clearly, Ryan’s cock was not interested in whoa because it sprang to full size with a couple of touches.
“I’ve only got a second, and I want to return the favor.” JJ slid on the condom before Ryan could open his mouth and sucked that thick rod so far down his throat it was tickling his tonsils.
No more protests from Ryan. His grunts and moans filled the car and drove JJ to new heights of oral excellence. It didn’t take long.
“Oh shit, JJ. Shit. That’s so good. Oh crap, don’t stop. Don’t—” Ryan’s head flew back, and JJ wished all that hot cum was filling his mouth instead of the condom. He kept sucking gently and lapping until Ryan’s yells got soft and died away.
JJ nuzzled Ryan’s now softened cock with his nose, pulled off the condom and tied it, and then sat back in his seat. “I hate to say it, but I have to go to work.”
Ryan raised his head slowly. “I hate to hear it. Man, that was some blowjob.”
“Thanks. I was inspired.” He slid a tissue from his pocket and wiped his hands.
“I’ll say.”
JJ sighed. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“Did your being gay have something to do with you leaving New York?”
A crease appeared between Ryan’s dark brows. The guy did not like talking about himself. “Something, yes.”
JJ nodded. “I’ll bet it’s tough being a gay cop in New York.”
“It’s no amusement park ride anywhere.” Ryan tucked his soft cock back in his pants and zipped up before looking back up to JJ. “My turn. Do you avoid talking about your parents because they hate you being gay?”
“Totally. We don’t talk much, and I’m fine with that.” Well, kind of fine.
Ryan nodded. He started the car, and they drove the block to Winter Fantasy in silence. A silence that felt a lot like understanding.
When they got to the gates, JJ looked at Ryan and smiled. He got a grin back before the tough-guy face returned. “Uh, any chance you’d like to get together again sometime?”
Wow. A second date. “Sure.” That was one of the forty words JJ wanted to say, including how thrilled he was and how he’d try to make it wonderful and…. “That would be great.”
“I’ll call you.”
“Okay.” JJ took a deep breath and forced his hand to open the door of the car and his feet to hit the ground. He looked back and smiled again and got a returning nod. Channeling Hugh Jackman in Wolverine, he walked away from the car with a powerful stride. Five steps out of sight and Wolverine became the Boy from Oz. JJ rushed down the aisle. “David, Rodney, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!”
RYAN WATCHED the guy walk away from the car. He should drive off, but no way could he miss the show of that flexing ass. Even his thoroughly drained cock wiggled at that beautiful sight.
Right there in those tight jeans was the definition of a bad idea. Why the hell was Ryan risking everything to get involved with Mr. JJ LaRousse? The guy seemed cool and easygoing, but there was something about him that whispered of holding hands on the beach, discussions about feelings, and commitment—Ryan’s idea of a four-letter word.
Still, he’d asked for another date. Shit. What had he been thinking? Easy. He wasn’t thinking. That flabby weasel in his pants was in charge, and JJ’s blowjob, rushed as it was, would go into Ryan’s personal record books. The weasel wanted another one. And more.
Ryan shrugged. Besides. He kind of liked the guy.
Since he was only a couple of blocks away, he drove to the station. Going through case files sounded good. Normal.
He parked and walked into the station. The young officer at the desk gave him a big smile. Not long out of the academy. What was his name? Geno-something. Oh, Genovese. “Evening, Officer Genovese.” Cute kid. Probably about JJ’s age. Of course, Ryan was only twenty-eight—which often felt like a hundred.
Genovese about flipped the chair standing up. “Good evening, Detective. Please. Uh, I’m Alberto, but they call me AG.”
“Thanks. I’m Ryan.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Ryan smiled and walked into the hall toward his cubicle. Hero worship felt weird to him. Especially when he was the hero.
“Star.”
He stuck his head in the office. “Hi, Cap.”
She looked up from some papers in front of her. “Thought this was your day off.”
“Same to you.”
“Did you have a good day?”
“Yeah, went to a football game.”
“Oh, did you take one of the guys with you?”
“No.”
She grinned. “With the tickets you have, I’d think they’d be lining up.”
“No, I took a, uh, friend.”
She cocked her head. “Good. Glad to hear that. So why don’t you bring your friend to my house for New Year’s?”
Shit. This woman was a holiday minefield. “Thanks, but like I said….”
“You’re busy.”
“Yeah.”
She crooked a finger at him. What the hell did she want now? He stepped in. She motioned toward the door, and he closed it. Her wide, pleasant face looked serious. “When are you going to come out around this place?”
The frown hurt his face, it was so tight. “Probably never.”
“How do you expect things to change when you don’t let people who admire you know you’re gay?”
“They wouldn’t admire me anymore.”
“Give them some credit. I could use your help mentoring one of the other guys who’s also gay.”
He snapped his head back. “No way. I’m no wet nurse.”
She shook her head. “How can you ever have friends if nobody knows who you are?”
Shit. “I don’t need friends.” He put his hand on the door. He was so out of there.
“Man, those guys in New York sure messed you up.”
He stared at her. “Yeah, well, I pretty much had to choose between being gay and living.”
“I’m sorry, Ryan. It’s different here.”
He shook his head once, hard. “It’s different nowhere!” He walked out of her office. Shit. He turned left, walked past the kid without a wave, pulled open the door, hurried into the lot, and climbed into his car. Breathe. She meant well, but he didn’t need to open that door. He dropped his head onto the steering wheel. What about JJ? What about that proposed date with the tight ass in the blue jeans? That was a crack in the closet as big as a fucking semi. He’d lost his mind. Time to put the lid on that.
JJ POINTED to the high windows looking straight out at the ocean. What a view. “I think we can use roman shades on these, Carlotta. During the day it will look like they’re uncovered, but when you want privacy, you can lower them and be nice and cozy.”
Carlotta leaned back on the sofa and looked at JJ. “As if I need privacy, dear. No one wants to see what I’ve got, and I haven’t had an indecent proposal in years.”
JJ winked. “You never know when that may change.” Carlotta Esterhays might be eighty-three, but she loved change, growth, and new ideas and had the money to support them.
“Speaking of change, dear, whatever happened with that delicious policeman we were all drooling over? Did you end up going out with him?”
JJ swallowed hard to keep the pain out of his voice. “Yes, but no go. He said he’d call. He didn’t. La-la-la. I’ve heard it all before.” He picked up the tape measure and pretended to take the dimensions of the window he’d already completed. Didn’t want Carlotta to see him cry.
Her voice filled with compassion, and it ripped at his heart. “I’m so sorry, JJ. I think you really liked the man.”
“I’ve liked guys before. I’ll get over it.” He knelt behind the couch in a great show of measurement expertise and wiped his eyes.
“I hope you can stay for lunch, dear. I’ll go check with Millie and see when it will be ready.” He heard her get up and walk toward the kitchen. What an amazing lady. So kind. Giving him some space to recover himself. Time for a deep breath. He really wasn’t going to cry. Even Ryan “Mr. Disappointment” Star wasn’t allowed to take the fun out of his first big decorating commission.
He stood and walked into the entry. The two wooden-slatted Nelson benches he planned for the long narrow entrance of her home had already arrived. They looked wonderful, if he did say so himself. His cell phone buzzed in his pocket. Who the heck? David wouldn’t bother him at Carlotta’s.
He pulled out the phone. Okay, that’s what people meant by “his heart stopped.” The display said Ryan Star. Should he answer? Well, hell yes.
“This is JJ.”
“Hi, it’s Ryan.”
“Hello.” What should he say? It had been over a week since he saw the guy and sucked his fucking cock. Three beats of silence felt like eternity.
“Look, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I said I’d call and I didn’t. Until now, I mean.”
He took a deep breath. “You don’t owe me anything. We had fun. Sometimes things click. Sometimes they don’t. Thanks for calling.”
“Did they not click for you?” Ryan’s voice sounded breathless.
JJ sat hard on the bench. “I didn’t say that. But I assumed you were.”
“No. No. It’s just that… I’m not completely out of the closet. I mean, some people know I’m gay, but not so much at work, and I never date guys in Laguna. Actually, I never date guys, period.”
Well, shit. “So why did you ask me out, for God’s sake?”
“I guess I thought if somebody saw us, it would just be two guys at a game. I mean, you’re really my type, JJ. I like you. It’s just, you know.”
JJ sighed. Ryan’s type. The type that could go to a football game and look at home. Hell. “Look, I understand. But I worked too hard and suffered too much to come out. I wish you lots of luck. I won’t tell anyone anything except for the people who already know, and I’ll make sure they stay quiet, okay? I had fun. Thank you for the evening.”
“Okay.”
He’d just said everything he would have made up if he’d practiced for an hour in front of the mirror. Why didn’t he feel better? “Bye.” He hit End just in time to catch the tears flowing down his face with a tissue.
He wiped, blew, looked for a trash can to no avail, and stuck the tissue in his pocket. Maybe lunch was ready. The phone in his hand buzzed. Oh my God. He clicked. “Yes?”
“I don’t want to do this. Will you have dinner with me?”
His heart pounded. “I’m working late. It’s Art Walk night.”
“I go on duty at midnight. How about a drink at the Shell Bar after you close? We can, you know, talk or something.”
JJ almost laughed. Talking. The ultimate horror for the alpha male. Did he want to do this? Ryan said JJ was his type, but Ryan had no idea who JJ was. Sadly, Ryan probably wouldn’t like him if he did. Why was JJ doing this to himself? Masochism? Or did he want a guy like his father to care about him? Whoa. That was way too close to the truth. Still…. “Okay. I get off at ten.”
“See you at ten fifteen.” Ryan’s voice sounded lighter. Younger.
“Okay.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” JJ disconnected. How could something so stupid make him so happy?
Chapter
Five
PASSING OUT was an option. JJ had barely breathed since he left the gallery after cleaning up more than a hundred wine glasses and walked the three blocks to the bar. He looked up at the sign. The Shell had a gayish vibe, but a lot of straights went there too, so Ryan could preserve his macho image. Hell, Ryan was macho. Being gay didn’t make a guy a pansy. Look at Rodney, Hunter, and Jerry. It just happened that JJ was a pansy. All pink and purple and multipetaled. Just ask his dad.
Breathe. In, out. Okay. JJ pushed open the door and stepped into the narrow building. The bar d
ominated one side of the room, and about fifty people had clearly not gotten enough to drink on the monthly gallery crawl, so they were getting their fill here. JJ was taller than most people, so he looked out over the crowd for Ryan’s dark hair.
Ryan popped his head up from one of the booths in the back on the other wall and waved. JJ pushed through the crowd until he arrived at the table. Ryan sat there with a full glass of what looked like cola in front of himself and a glass of white wine in the place across from him. Now that was cute.
Ryan rose out of his seat as far as the table would let him. “I ordered while I had the waiter. Really crowded tonight.” He sat back down.
“Yes. The Art Walk leftovers.” JJ slid in. The booth was far in the rear of the bar, so while there were people behind him, Ryan’s seat backed against the wall. Music played at a shy-of-the-threshold-of-pain decibel level. Good luck talking.
Ryan sipped his soft drink. “I had a great time the other day. I don’t want you to think I didn’t.”
JJ shrugged and sighed. “I hear the ‘but’ about to arrive.”
Ryan shook his head. “No. Not exactly. I just don’t know how to make it work. You know, I mean, seeing each other and all. Like you said, you have one lifestyle and I have another.”
Hell, if Ryan only knew. “So why did you want to see me?”
“Jesus, I don’t know. I didn’t want to talk over the phone. I guess I thought you might have an idea. Assuming you wanted to, you know….” He waggled a finger back and forth between JJ and him.
JJ stared at that finger. That finger was asking if JJ wanted to see Ryan on the sly. If he wanted to sneak into Ryan’s apartment and suck his cock while pretending to be his good buddy in public. The cock-sucking part sounded really good. The rest? Not so much.
JJ shook his head. “No, I don’t have any ideas either.” He glanced up in time to see a flash of something painful cross Ryan’s face.