It’s not Nate, I tell myself. It’s not Nate.
He throws the torch at me. I try to dodge, but I’m too slow now. Heat scorches my arm before the torch falls to the floor. He pushes me to the ground. “How do you feel about death, Violet?” he asks. “You dish it out to your assignments. Now it’s your turn.” He sits on my chest, squeezing all the air out of my lungs. He twists my wrist and I drop the knife. It disappears. His fingers wrap around my neck. Uselessly, I try to suck air into my lungs. Bright spots of light flare in front of my eyes. My fingers grasp the empty air and close around my smallest knife. I bring it down.
He arches up in pain as the knife enters his shoulder. Gasping for breath, I push him off me. I feel the air for my dagger. I wrap both hands around it, close my eyes, and stab it into his chest. I’m so weak, it only goes in halfway. But it does the job. He looks shocked, the way I imagine the real Nate would look if I plunged a knife into his chest.
Change back, I will him, clenching my trembling hands into fists. Change back, change back. But he doesn’t. He lies there. Dead. Looking like Nate.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I throw up in the kitchen sink when I get home. Then I lie down on the floor and consider never getting up again. Filigree doesn’t seem impressed, though. He shifts into gorilla form, carries me upstairs, and throws me, fully clothed, into my bathing room pool. A minute later, he scurries back through the door as a squirrel and drops a handful of nuts beside the pool.
I want to thank him, but I’m too tired to get the words out. I slowly peel my clothes off underwater. The ache around my neck eases, but I still feel shaky. I guess that’s what happens when your life is almost entirely drained out of you.
I wait until I’m dried, dressed, and lying on my bed before I let myself think. I killed someone. Again. That’s two someones in two nights. I breathe deeply and tell myself to get over it. I do this all the time. It’s my job. I fight bad people. Sometimes I have to kill them.
But I’ve never killed anyone who looks exactly like a person I care about.
That’s the big problem: I can’t get the image of a dead Nate out of my head. I sit up. As weak as I am right now, I have to know he’s okay. I draw a doorway onto my wall and take the few steps through the faerie paths into Nate’s bedroom. He’s there. Breathing. Alive. I kneel beside the bed and lift the bottom of his T-shirt without waking him.
The eye is gone.
*
I managed to push the dead shapeshifter into the Stuff I Don’t Think About box, which meant I was able to sleep last night. And all morning.
I wake up to find two amber messages from Honey, as well as a large amount of food, probably carried into my room during the night by Filigree. Honey’s first message asks if I enjoyed my suspension so much I decided to continue it for a few days. Her second says she made some excuse for me during training.
I spend the afternoon practicing blocking the dead-Nate image out of my mind and trying to figure out if I should tell Nate about last night. Eventually I decide I probably should. Lying is bad, right? And so is hiding the truth. But I don’t have to tell him tonight. It would be selfish to spoil the special date he has planned. Next week seems good. Next week I’ll get Nate over here, and Tora, and I’ll lay everything out for both of them.
Right now, though, I have to do my very best to get excited for this date.
*
Though the weather in Creepy Hollow is perfect this evening, it’s raining again in Nate’s neighborhood. I stand at his window and watch the raindrops beat against the glass before running down in rivulets. Behind me, Nate’s bedroom door opens. I turn quickly, checking that my glamour is in place, just in case it’s one of his parents.
“Hey,” he says, then stops. “Wow. I think I’ve only ever seen you wearing black.” He walks closer. “You look even more beautiful in pink.”
As it happens, the dress I’m wearing is actually black. It’s the same one I wore to the Council hearing and then forgot to give back to Raven. Which was fortunate, since I couldn’t very well go on a date in my ordinary clothes. I decided, though, that something as important as a first date warranted a color change. Having never tried any magic to alter my clothes before, it took me several hours of fashion disaster before I amber-messaged Raven and asked her how to do it.
“It’s cerise, actually,” I inform him, as though I’m an expert now. “But thank you.”
“I see you haven’t lost the boots, though.” His lips twitch as he attempts to hide a smile.
“Well, where else am I supposed to keep my stylus?”
“Uh, a handbag?”
I roll my eyes. “Can you see me using a handbag? Besides, I rather like the dress and boots combination.”
Nate kisses my cheek. For a second, the dead-Nate image flashes across my eyes. I force it deep down, but in its place come other memories of the night before. Someone was watching you, I think. Someone wanted information from you. And they got it. Damn, I wish I knew what that information was.
“Shall we go?” asks Nate. I blink, and this time when I push the memories away, it works. I’m going on a date. My very first date. I didn’t think I’d be able to muster much excitement after last night, so I’m surprised at the flutter in my stomach. Nate picks up a backpack from the couch and slings it over his shoulder. “I want to try something,” he says. “Do you think if you opened a doorway to the faerie paths, I’d be able to direct them?”
“Well . . .” It seems doubtful to me.
“I know you said I don’t have any magic, but there must be something in me that helps me survive the faerie paths. So I thought . . . perhaps . . . I could also direct them.”
“I suppose there’s no harm in trying.” I open a doorway on the wall beside the window. I close my eyes as we step inside, and keep my mind blank so that Nate can attempt to direct us. His fingers wrap around mine.
I wait.
My ears fill with the sound of roaring, and a cold breeze whispers across my skin. I open my eyes—and get as much of a shock as Nate must have got when I took him to the forest last night. We’re standing near an outcrop of rocks on the side of a mountain. The ground falls away sharply to my left, and when I look down, I see a waterfall gushing out of a hole somewhere below me. I can feel the spray on my face. Grey clouds hang low and heavy around us, lit up by the occasional flash of lightning. The effect is dramatic.
“You did it!” I shout above the thunder of the water.
He nods, laughing. “Come inside before it starts raining.” He pulls me toward the rocks.
“Inside?” We step carefully around the side of one of the rocks. Behind it is a gap, like a tear in the side of the mountain. Nate swings his backpack around and pulls out a torch. He clicks it on, takes hold of my hand again, and enters the cave. It’s cold inside, but eerily beautiful. Where the torchlight strikes the cave walls, tiny gold sparkles reflect back at us.
“What is that?” I ask.
“Some kind of mineral, I think,” says Nate, “buried in the rock.”
It makes me think of magic. “How do you know about this place, Nate?”
He pulls me further along. “I’ll tell you in a bit. We need to get right to the back, where it’s warmer.”
The sound of trickling water reaches my ears, and Nate swings the torch around until he finds the source. It’s a stream, bubbling up at the edge of the cave, and then disappearing down into the rock again, probably to join the giant waterfall outside.
“You could catch a quick ride out of here if you jumped down there,” says Nate.
“Thanks, but I’ve had enough adrenalin rushes lately.” I follow close behind him, lowering my head where the cave ceiling dips down. It rises again, but now the walls are closer together, narrowing into a tunnel that reminds me far too much of the labyrinth. “Are we almost there?” I ask.
“Just be patient,” says Nate. He lets go of my hand and walks faster. I hurry after him, but slow down when I realize h
e probably wants a minute or two to set up . . . whatever one sets up on a date inside a cave.
I run my fingers along the wall. It isn’t smooth like the stone walls in the labyrinth, or sandy like the tunnel I was in last night, but rough with jagged, sticking-out edges. Nate’s light grows dimmer until I find myself walking in complete darkness. I consider conjuring up my own light, but decide the darkness makes this all the more exciting. I stretch my arms out to either side and touch the walls to keep from walking into them. Eventually, the darkness begins to lessen.
“Nate?” I call.
His shout echoes down the tunnel: “Keep coming.”
The tunnel opens into another cave. A shaft of grey light spills down from a hole in the ceiling, dust motes dancing in its path. On the far side of the cave, I see the shadowy shape of Nate.
“Is this it?” I ask. “Is this your surprise location?”
“Oh, it’s a surprise all right,” says a voice behind me. I whirl around. “Well done, Nathaniel,” says Zell. “Well done, indeed.”
PART
IV
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
There isn’t much in life that can surprise me. I’ve been trained to remain alert, to be constantly aware of my surroundings. Aside from being knocked out in the middle of Creepy Hollow forest and struck on the head while hiding in Scarlett’s Underground room, I can’t think of any other occasion where I’ve been caught off guard.
But there is nothing that can prepare me for the shock of finding Zell here, in this dark and silent cave buried within a mountain, where Nate and I should be perfectly alone.
My brain
cuts
out.
“Excellent job, Nathaniel,” says Zell. “Thank you for getting her here so quickly.”
Getting her here so quickly.
I feel like someone is squeezing my head. I blink. I can see a shaft of dim light pouring from the hole in the rock ceiling high above us. Nate is an outline on the other side. I can’t see his face.
“Do you like what he’s done with the weather?” Zell continues. “He can’t quite control it yet, but his storms are certainly impressive, don’t you think?”
His storms. The weather.
“I must say, I was pleasantly surprised at how little it took to convince him to join—”
My brain jolts awake, and I do the first sensible thing I can think of.
I kick Zell.
At least, I try to kick him. But he must have a shield up, because I find myself thrown backward onto the ground. “Now, now,” he says. “There’s no need to get violent.” I expect him to come after me, but he doesn’t. He remains in front of the opening to the cave. Blocking my way out.
Without getting up, I hurl a ball of fire at him. Then two of my guardian daggers, a shower of stones, shards of ice, anything I can think of.
His shield repels them all. And he won’t move, and there’s no other way out, and I’m going to die here inside this dark mountain with that hateful smirk on his face and my traitor ex-boyfriend watching from the—
Stop freaking panicking!
There is another way out.
I push myself to my feet, ignoring the painful sting as my dress scrapes across my grazed back. I don’t know if I have enough power for this, but I certainly don’t have time to gather any more. I crouch down, tense, and jump. Gravity should pull me down, but magic is stronger than gravity. I propel myself upward, toward the opening in the rock ceiling.
“No!” Zell shouts. I hear him running. Bright light streaks past me, burning my arm. Something hard hits my side. I’m falling, tumbling. I slow myself down, but the impact when I hit the ground still knocks the air from my lungs. I see the cave entrance, unblocked. I scramble up and run.
Zell is shouting. I’m gasping for air. Blasts of magic shoot down the tunnel, lighting up the way for me. I zigzag as much as the tunnel will allow, doing my best to dodge the magic. Sparks sear across my shoulder. It burns, but I don’t stop running.
Memories flash across my open eyes: The storm that appeared when Zell hung Nate over the cliff; the snow in Angelica’s chamber; the rain beating against Nate’s window.
My head whacks into the low part of the front cave’s ceiling, and I land on my back on the ground. My vision blurs horribly. Pain threatens to knock me out. Somehow, though, I remain conscious. I roll onto my hands and knees and push myself up, leaning against the wall so I don’t fall over.
Throb. Throb. Throb.
The mouth of the front cave tilts strangely across my line of vision. I can hear the gurgle of the stream that bubbles up into this cave before it disappears into the mountain below me. Flashes of lightning illuminate the gash in the mountainside that leads to my freedom. I stumble forward. So close.
With a shimmer, a doorway appears in the air several feet ahead of me. Zell steps out of it. Without hesitation, he pushes his fist forward into the air, sending a bolt of power straight at me. It hits me right in the center of my stomach.
Pain!
I cry out and double over. My arms feel wet. And I’m falling again. But I stagger to the side, toward the water, and when my body hits something, it isn’t the ground. It’s the stream. With an agonizing gasp of air, I disappear into the mountain.
There’s water in my mouth, and bubbles all around me, and flailing limbs and smooth stone and a slide that twists and turns. I cough and choke and try to keep my head above water as I yank my stylus out of my boot and cling desperately to it. But there’s no way I can open a doorway while falling through this water. My body is flung from side to side, and I can’t focus on anything other than simply trying to breathe. The slide straightens out and, with no warning at all—though what warning I might have been hoping for, I have no idea—I shoot out into the stormy sky above the waterfall.
Falling, falling, falling. Open a doorway. Come on. You are going to die if you don’t open a freaking doorway now! I drop into the black void, thinking of home and the Guild and Tora, all within split seconds of each other, and when I tumble onto the earth and knock my head against something hard, I have no idea where I am. Trees spin above me, and rain patters down onto my face. A fork of lightning cuts across the sky. Is it possible this is the same storm I just fled from?
The trees continue to spin. Pain starts to fade into a strange numbness. I raise a shaking hand to my face and feel a whole lot of stickiness running down my cheek. If I could touch the back of my head, I’d probably find blood there as well. I’m too terrified to put my hands anywhere near my stomach; I know the damage is bad. Is it bad enough that my body won’t be able to heal itself before it . . . shuts down?
I remember now that Tora is away; she’s visiting some foreign Guild. I’ll have to try to get to Flint instead. My stylus must have fallen somewhere nearby, but the thought of turning my head to look for it makes me want to be sick.
Perhaps someone will see me. Perhaps I should just lie here and wait for a little while.
Time passes.
I think of nothing, especially not him. The one who took me there, who handed me over. I watch the glow-bugs become visible as night falls. Sprites shake water from their delicate wings. The rain gets heavier, and I start to shiver. I manage to twist my head to the side so rainwater doesn’t keep choking me.
Darkness draws closer. Perhaps I’m falling asleep.
Above the sound of rain and thunder, I imagine I hear the crunching sound of footsteps nearby. Is it possible? Are footsteps loud enough to be heard over heavy rain?
Please see me, I think. Please see me and help me.
When a pair of boots appears in my hazy line of vision, I can’t figure out if they’re real or imagined. But then I realize that I recognize the boots—thorns etched into metal buckles—and I want to scream.
Why? I demand silently. Why him? I would have begged for anyone to come and help me. Anyone—except Ryn. He’s the only person I know who may actually choose to let me die instead of trying to help me.
&n
bsp; The world tilts. Rain falls in every direction, and I can’t tell up from down. What is he doing? Will he hang me upside down and watch me die? Watch the blood drain from my body? What a sickening thought. It’s the last one I have before the world gives a final lurch and pushes me into oblivion.
*
My dreams fade into one another. Dreams of drowning and screaming. Dreams of bubbles and lights. Dreams of a boy with sun-darkened skin and laughing eyes.
The pillow beneath my head is soft. I crack my eyes open enough to see familiar blue and green swirls on the fabric beside my cheek. How did I get home?
*
I don’t know how long it is before I finally feel the pull of the waking world. I rub my eyes and blink several times, trying to orient myself in this room that seems familiar and yet not familiar. Why is there a fireplace?
I think about sitting up, but the memory of what happened inside the mountain comes slamming back, enough to pin me down to the bed. I imagine Nate standing in the shadows of the cave, and it feels like something is pressing down on my chest. I can’t breathe properly.
Don’t think about him. Don’t think, don’t think, don’t—
Ryn’s face appears in front of mine. I jerk away. “What—what are you doing here?” My voice is croaky.
He raises an eyebrow. “I live here.”
My mouth forms a confused O, but then I realize that’s why everything looks so familiar-but-not-familiar. This isn’t my home; it’s Ryn’s. And the bed I thought I was sleeping on isn’t actually a bed; it’s the couch I spent many nights on, years ago, in what feels like another lifetime. It’s been made up like a bed though, with the same sheets and cover I remember from my childhood.
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