My father’s voice rose an octave. “You up and disappeared, leaving a bucket of bloody water in the middle of the bar. I had to make sure you weren’t in any danger. When I made the call, I didn’t know he’d brung you home already.”
“You ever think of calling on the phone?” I asked, not buying this for one minute. I was pretty sure he’d sent somebody to Colt’s house to break his legs for putting a hand on me.
Then he confirmed it by saying, “I wasn’t exactly thinkin’ clearly after what I saw from the camera. No father should ever have to see that.”
Ok, fair point. But that was my fault, not Colton’s. Not exactly, anyway. And it didn’t change anything. It didn’t change the fact that I was pregnant and it didn’t change the fact that, “I—I love him, Daddy. God help me, I’ve tried not to love Colt. I’ve tried everything I knew how to stop loving him, but I do.”
“What the hell is there to love about that boy?” my father roared, his eyes bulging. “He’s nothing but a bundle of anger and guilt walking around with a gun.”
“Colt’s more than that,” I said, wiping tears from my cheeks. Colton Marbray was a kid who always had stubborn principles and was always on a mission to right the wrongs of the world. That he got set on that path of righteousness out of anger towards my father…well, that was the sticking point. “And even if a bundle of anger and guilt was all he was, I still love him. I wish I didn’t, but I do…”
For a moment, I felt sure my father was gonna strike me. Slap me right across the face. But as I broke down, he drew me into his arms and let me cry on his shoulder.
It was a long while before either of us spoke. There was just the sound of my sobs. Then he said, “Well, Shelby, you got one hell of a job in front of you…”
“What’s that?” I sniffled, clinging tight.
“You gotta make him love you back.”
I swallowed over the lump in my throat. “What do you mean?”
“It makes me sick to say it, but Colt’s your only chance. He’d use my daughter to put me in prison without a second thought. But he wouldn’t put into prison a woman he loves. Not when she’s carrying his child. So you need to go to him, Shelby.”
I pulled back from my father’s arms, fearing he didn’t understand the way it was between me and Colt. I hadn’t forgiven him for using me. I might love him, but that didn’t mean that I liked him. “Don’t you know what he’s gonna do, Daddy? If I go to him he’ll make me—”
“Turn on me,” my father finished. “Yeah. I know how he works. You do what you’ve gotta do. Tell him whatever you need to tell him. Just let me get a head start.”
That hit me like a ton of bricks. My father wasn’t just letting me go. He was trading his safety for mine. “You can’t mean that.”
My father gave me another shake. “You listen here, Shelby Baker. I ain’t been the best father in the world. I ain’t gonna win any awards for father of the year. But here in Shiloh we take care of our own. I’ll do what I’ve got to for you. But now you might have a baby girl of your own, which means you do what you’ve gotta do for her.”
The lump in my throat swelled to the aching point. I knew how fucked up all of this was. I knew I wouldn’t even be in this position if my father had followed a life on the straight and narrow. And I wasn’t fooling myself into thinking my father was a great guy. But this was about the finest parenting advice he’d ever given, and even if it wasn’t, I knew he wanted to do right by me. “Oh, Daddy…”
His thumbs drifted up to my cheeks and he brushed away my tears. “This might be the last time I ever tell you what to do, Shelby, so you mind what I say. You go to Colt. You tell him about that grandbaby of mine, you hear? And you tell him whatever else he needs to hear to keep you safe.”
“But what’s gonna happen to you?” I asked.
“That’s not for you to worry about.” He kissed my forehead, tenderly. Then slowly drew away. “Just remember to give me a head start.”
Chapter Seven
COLTON
The knock came at midnight, but Colt was already awake. His relationship with sleep was as fucked as his relationship with Shelby, and probably for the same reason. But he had a pretty good idea why Shelby was at his front door at this hour.
And in spite of all expectations to the contrary, he felt pretty terrible about it. In fact, while he should’ve been celebrating the fact that his investigatory work was gonna take Buford Baker down and rescue his career in the process, he felt like shit. Worse than shit, having to look into the eyes of someone who was collateral damage in all this. Just the sight of Shelby in the halo of his porch light, knowing how upset she must be right now, made his tongue swell and go stupid in his mouth. The first words he said, was, “You okay?”
“No,” she said, her lower lip wobbling. “Can I come in?”
He let her inside. Tried not to be too obvious about checking her out for scrapes or injuries…and just plain checking her out. Then cursed himself because no matter how low he felt, his prick never failed to rise to the occasion when it came anywhere in the proximity of this girl. Which is maybe why he sounded a bit surly when he said, “You shouldn’t be here, Shelby.”
“Why not?” she asked, pushing her hair behind her ears. “Don’t you wanna pump me for information and make me turn state’s evidence?”
Did she have to use the word pump, like all the times they’d had sex were just some kind of manipulation to get her to talk? Well, he supposed she must see it that way. He also didn’t like was the fact that she said it with more scorn than he thought any woman was capable of. Well, she had good reason to hate him now if she didn’t before, which was why he was braced to get an earful of venom.
But he wasn’t prepared for the way she leaned back against the stairway railing, like she was giving herself over to him to do with as he pleased. It’d be a lie to say that pose didn’t strike a match inside him, or that the resultant sweat on the back of his neck wasn’t from the struggle of fighting off his physical attraction to her. But he was more confused than he was aroused.
So he angled himself in the doorway, shoving his hands down into his pockets to prevent them from making mischief, and tried to remember that he was an agent of the law. “We’ve got Buford dead to rights, Shelby. There’s nothing you can do for him now, so if you’re here because—”
“I’m here because I’m pregnant.”
Colt had always wondered what it might feel like to take a bullet between the eyes. Now he thought he had a pretty good idea, because her words hit him so hard his knees nearly went out from under him. He barely managed to get one word off his tripping tongue. “What?”
Still leaning against the railing—maybe for support more than surrender—Shelby’s beautiful blue eyes filled with tears. “You heard me.”
Colt replayed the whole conversation from the beginning, just to make sure he wasn’t losing his mind. “Pregnant.”
He’d only repeated the word to make sense of it, but Shelby must have taken it for doubt, because her eyes flashed with a sudden anger. “You don’t believe me?” She whipped something out of her pocket. A pregnancy test. With a positive result, clear as day. “I peed on this stick just this morning. Two of ‘em actually, just to be sure. And I swear to God almighty, if you ask me who the father is, I’m going to shove this where—”
“Jesus H. Christ,” Colt said, knowing exactly who the father was.
Shelby might’ve been mad enough at him to spend a few weeks cozying up with Huey Tidwell, but he didn’t need to do the math. He knew she wasn’t the kind of girl who might be confused about who fathered her baby.
Shit. Shit! Shit!
She’d accused him of not using a condom that first time because he wanted to leave things up to chance so he wouldn’t have to choose her. Maybe he had done just that. But he hadn’t wanted a baby. He was a goddamned federal officer whose life didn’t exactly lend itself to to raising a family.
But his mounting panic came to a s
creeching halt the moment he realized Shelby was trembling in fear of his reaction. She was afraid. Her whole world was crumbling down around her, and now this. His comfort was the very last thing she needed or wanted, but he had to try. Though his brain was still reeling in shock and his guts were churning, he reached out to her. “C’mere,” he said, surprised when she let him draw her into his arms. When she buried her face against his shoulder and let out a sob, he said, “It’s gonna be alright.”
“You can’t know that,” Shelby said, her tears wetting the collar of his shirt. “I can’t either. I didn’t want to tell you, Colt. If I’d run away you’d never have to find out.”
Colt winced at that thought, feeling a burning pain in his chest. The idea of his being a father and never knowing… “I guess you hate me enough right now to run without telling me…”
“I wish I hated you,” she said, with a miserable shake of her head. “If I didn’t still love you, that’d make everything easier. And maybe I’d be a lot less sorrier for what I said about you leaving your mother—”
“It’s fine,” Colt said, because he’d goaded her into what she’d said about leaving his mother. He’d been insensitive and self-centered and maybe he’d had it coming. Besides, she just said that she loved him.
How she could still love him at a time like this he didn’t know. It seemed like a miracle. It seemed like salvation. “Really, Shelby, don’t give yourself another thought about what you said. It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” she sniffled. “I never meant to hurt you. Not like that. And I’ve never in my life wanted to make you feel trapped, but I’m having your baby.”
So she’d made her decision. She was going to keep the baby. He was, to his surprise, outrageously relieved to hear it. But Colt wasn’t sure what the etiquette was in a situation like this. He didn’t want to make things worse by sounding like he was judging her either way. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Shelby said, looking a little bit stupefied. “I said I’m having your baby, Colt. I wanna have your baby and I need to know how you feel about it.”
Colt knew better than most men that there were moments in life where you only got a split second to decide where to aim and whether or not to pull a trigger. Get it wrong, and there was no going back. Which is maybe why Colt’s breath evened out, and his blood seemed to turn thick and slow in his veins. And the next words he spoke were from the deepest part of his heart, all instinct, full fire power. “Well, I feel like that’s just about the best goddamned thing anyone has ever said to me in my life.”
Shelby blinked up at him. “You don’t mean that…”
He did mean it. He knew it was the truth like he knew his own name. They’d made a baby together. A child. Something part him, and part Shelby, and all alive. That’s when it struck him. How guilty he’d been for so long about killing men, even if they had it coming. Now, in being with Shelby, he’d finally done something with himself that was the very opposite of bringing death…
Goddamn, but he’d been in a dark place when he came back to Shiloh. He’d broke bad when his morals had been tested. But if something good were to come out of that, well, it’d be like Shelby was his savior. Because maybe she was exactly that.
“Oh, I mean it,” he said, and his hands went to her hips, and he drew her into a kiss to prove it to her.
Shelby’s mouth opened upon a tiny gasp, then melted under his, her fingers twining up into his hair. They stood together like that, kissing each other, tears of sadness and joy all mixed together.
When they finally broke apart for breath, she was still blinking, “You don’t have to pretend to be happy if you’re not.”
Colt blew out a long breath. “I’ve done a lot wrong by you if you think I’m pretending.” Then he pulled her hand over his chest, so she could feel it beating. “That feel pretend to you?” When she shook her head, he said, “I could pull your hand lower and you’d find that ain’t pretend either.”
She shook her head again, her lashes fluttering a bit, revealing her own desire. “Attraction was never the problem between us…”
Shelby looked like she was winding up to have some kind of heart-to-heart talk where she’d try to make an accounting of their relationship, and who had done who wrong, and make the balance sheets work out somehow. He knew they had to do it. Especially given what was going down with her father. But right now, he wanted Shelby.
That’s all that mattered to him.
Especially if she could come to him at a time like this. If she could turn to him on what had to be the worst day of her life.
“I wanna take you upstairs,” he said, throatily.
Her eyes widened. “You do?”
Was she really going to need convincing? Colt’s hands slid down her back, and pulled her against him with proprietary feeling. He was the first man to ever have her. The only man, he was sure. Now, she was carrying his child. If that wasn’t enough to make a man feel possessive, what was? “Tell me you didn’t let Huey Tidwell touch you.”
Her eyes narrowed a bit. “Would you still wanna take me upstairs if I did?”
Colt let the question sink in. He knew why she was asking. He knew there was only one right answer. He was grateful that his answer also happened to be the truth. “I’d still wanna take you upstairs. I’d have to fight off the urge to bust Huey’s lip the next time I saw him, but it wouldn’t change a damned thing between us, I promise.”
“Then you should know I tried to kiss him. Really, I did.”
If there was anything he wanted to talk about less than what was going on with her father, it was talking about what she tried to do with Huey Tidwell. “Woman, you do realize I’m trying to seduce you,” he said, kissing the side of her neck where he could feel her pulse against his lips, wanting to cover her in kisses.
Shelby gasped when his teeth grazed her throat, but it didn’t shut her up. “Well, I couldn’t do it. Whenever he’d lean in, all I could think of was you, and I’d pull away.”
“Good,” Colt said, hands working at the buttons of her shirt. He had to touch her. He had to touch bare skin. And he was sure she needed that too. Maybe it would take away some of the pain of this night.
But to his surprise, she didn’t surrender to him as she did before. Instead, she put her hands flat to his chest. “I need to tell you—”
“Don’t,” Colton said, worrying that he’d made her feel like she always had to explain herself. He’d made her feel judged. Made her feel like she was in the wrong and had to confess her sins. Made her feel like she had to do something to earn his trust, when the truth was, he needed to earn hers. “Is the house on fire?”
Shelby’s hands fisted in his shirt, even as she shook her head.
“Are armed gunman coming up my drive?”
She shook her head again.
Colt’s voice went husky. “Then I can’t think of one goddamned thing you’ve got to tell me that’s more important than going upstairs together right now…”
Chapter Eight
SHELBY
How is a girl supposed to say no to a man like Colton Marbray? I couldn’t. Especially not when he swooped me up into his strong arms and carried me up the stairs, kissing me all the while. I held onto his neck, the urgency of his desire chasing all thoughts and doubts away.
I’d never had a day as filled with emotional turmoil as this one and I didn’t want to think about what I was doing. I only wanted to feel as amazing as I always did when Colton was touching me. Which is why I said nothing, only making little murmurs of pleasure until we reached the top landing, and he chose the door with the big blast hole in it.
“You sure about this room?” I asked.
I realized Colt hadn’t chosen it on accident when he gave a defiant tilt of his chin. “Your father and my mother don’t live here anymore. And we’re gonna begin everything new again, starting right now.”
Make him love you back, my father had said. Maybe I’d done that by coming here and confessing t
o Colt that I was pregnant. My father had told me that this was my only chance because we both knew Colt wasn’t the kind of man who could feel nothing for a woman who was carrying his child. But now, as Colton held me in his arms with a sweet promise of love-making, my heart was twisting in pain at the thought that my very first act as a mother was to use my child to get its daddy’s protection.
I never wanted Colt to think that I was agreeing to make love to him just to keep him distracted while my father got away. But every time I tried to speak, he hushed me. Then he put me down gently onto my back and said, “This is my bed now. And yours. So I’m going to peel your clothes off, and kiss every inch of your skin from head to toe until goosebumps are racing up and down your body. I want to watch your beautiful eyes go soft and flutter closed as I sink into you and show me that you’re mine.”
Well, that sounded lovely. Slow and beautiful. The kind of sex every girl dreams about. Except that’s not what I wanted now. It’d give me too much time to think. So I reached for his shirt. And tore.
While buttons went zinging every which way, the look on Colt’s face was priceless. Both eyebrows shot up. Way, way, up. “Well, now…”
Still holding onto the shreds of his shirt, I pulled him down, and kissed him hard while his strong hands flexed on either side of my head. Meanwhile, I squirmed to get my own skirt up around my hips and I worked at his belt, frantic to get us both undressed as fast as possible.
Rolling onto his side to help me get his jeans off, Colt looked down at the growing bulge between his legs while I stripped him naked. “Not that I’m complaining but there’s no rush—aww, shit. Fuck. Goddamn.”
The slurry of curses that erupt from him were a direct result of my mouth trailing down the flat muscles of his belly and fastening on the shining knob of his swollen cock. I loved how heavy it felt on my tongue and how he tasted a little soapy, and the way he hissed when I dragged my teeth ever so lightly down the velvet skin of his iron shaft.
Stepbrother Breaks Bad: The Complete Series Page 12