by Jess Dee
Thank God they hadn’t.
Still, Maggie was right. Daniel wasn’t Simon. He’d never cheat on her. Nope, he would treat her like cherished gold—until he grew bored of their fun and games.
“Don’t you see, Mags? Whatever the reason, I never want to risk my friendship with him. I’m not willing to give him up for a temporary fling.”
“Who’s to say it would be temporary?”
She stared at her friend, not bothering to answer. They both knew Daniel only did temporary.
“Okay,” Maggie conceded. “But don’t you think last night the two of you crossed some line? It might be hard to go back to being friends now.”
“Hard, but not impossible,” Amy said with vehemence. “Especially if it means I’m going to save a friendship in the process.”
“And you think Daniel will accept that? He’s no pushover. If he wants to make something of last night, he will.”
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t.” Amy reached for the phone. “It’s time we spoke about it anyway. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let one incident ruin a lifetime of friendship.” She punched in Daniel’s number.
Maggie stood up. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
“Thanks for listening.”
“Any time.”
Amy waited on a bench on the promenade above Coogee Beach. The coldness of the winter evening seemed to have little effect on the activity around her. A group of noisy teenagers yelled and laughed as they ate fish and chips on the grass. Beside them, a dad played soccer with his two sons. In front of her, the paved path was packed with joggers and walkers.
She checked her watch. It was still a little early. The sun hadn’t quite set, and the sky behind her was strewn with orange and pink clouds. She’d arranged to meet Daniel at five thirty, and it was only a quarter past now, which gave her a few minutes to think about what she had to tell him.
It was simple. Last night, they’d made a mistake. She wanted Daniel to be her friend, not her lover. She’d lay her cards on the table. Tell him that nothing more would happen between them. Their relationship would proceed platonically. Period.
Maggie’s astute insight about Simon had thrown her. Was her friend right? Was she confusing him with Simon? How could she? The two were so different.
Daniel was trustworthy. Simon wasn’t.
There’d never been any love lost between the two men. They’d never seen eye to eye. But Daniel had given Simon a chance—for her sake. Simon had made no effort to get along with Daniel. There were even times he’d complained that Daniel was a threat to their relationship.
That wasn’t new to her. It had been a recurring problem in all her relationships. Men always seemed to be uneasy about her friendship with Daniel.
She’d thought Simon would get past his ridiculous misconception. Daniel had been as much of a risk to their relationship as Maggie. It was ironic that Simon had been so threatened by another man. In the end, he’d been the one to be unfaithful.
She shouldn’t have been surprised. Men cheated all the time. Why should Simon be any different?
Because she’d desperately wanted him to be different, that’s why. She’d desperately wanted a healthy, long-term relationship with a faithful man.
But in the space of a single heartbeat, the relationship had ended. The pain and the humiliation lasted a whole lot longer.
And if the ache in her belly was anything to go by now, they hadn’t passed yet.
Thank God for Daniel. He’d been her rock after the breakup. More than once, he’d held her while she cried, her tears leaving great wet blobs on his shirts.
When the anger had set in, she’d screamed and ranted and raved, hurling glasses and dishes at the wall, envisioning Simon’s face wherever they hit. Daniel had started serving her food and drinks in plastic plates and cups, complaining good-naturedly that he was sick of replacing his glasses every time she visited.
Slowly, the rage had subsided, and she’d started to get over the asshole. But the pain still went on and on.
Thanks to Simon—and her father—Amy had lost her ability to trust men. The fear of hurt and betrayal was too strong. And even worse than that, because of Simon and her father, Amy now found herself questioning her trust in her closest friend.
…
For a few moments, Daniel stood unnoticed, watching Amy. The breeze rustled her hair, and once again he felt his groin stir and harden. All he had to do was look at her and he got an erection. A kid had more control than he did. This was becoming ridiculous.
He guessed Amy must have been home to change. She wore navy yoga pants and a matching zip-up hoodie, which hung open, revealing a tight white T-shirt underneath. The pants hugged her hips and her endlessly long legs.
A somber expression haunted her face. Knowing Amy as well as he did, he figured she’d done some heavy introspection, gone over every second of the previous night in minuscule detail, and come to the conclusion that what they’d done was wrong. She’d have found a million reasons why they shouldn’t have done it in the first place and a million more why they would never do it again.
That was okay with him. She needed time to accept their relationship was changing. Hell, it had taken him years to act on his own feelings. The fact that he existed in a state of permanent arousal was something he was learning to live with.
Besides, he’d only put the first half of his plan into action. The rest of it hadn’t even begun.
Amy turned toward him as he took a step closer. Her eyes closed briefly, and when they opened, her face was a neutral mask, devoid of the pain he’d seen. She stood up.
“You looked so serious I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Just enjoying the view.” Her words were stilted and an obvious lie.
Daniel leaned over to kiss her cheek. He found it difficult to pull away. “How are you?” His need to touch her was so great he tucked a strand of her long hair behind her ear.
Color tinged her cheeks, and she stepped back. “Tired. It was a late night.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty bombed myself.” By unspoken mutual consent, they began to walk along the beachside path. “I didn’t get much sleep. I was way too wired when I got home.”
“Me, too.”
She was so detached. Guarded and reserved in a way she’d never been with him before.
Then her voice warmed up and her smile broke through, bringing the sun with it. “I’m so proud of you. The exhibition was awesome.”
Warmth curled through his stomach. Amy’s praise meant the world to him. “Thanks. Valerie phoned earlier to say she was pretty sure all of the photos would be sold by the end of the week.”
“The reports must have been brilliant.” She gave a startled cry and stopped in her tracks. “The papers. I forgot to read the reviews.”
“They weren’t half-bad.” He handed her a copy of the Sydney Morning Herald he’d brought along and pointed to an article.
Amy read the headline out loud. “‘Award-winning photographer wins our hearts.’” She gave a low whistle. “‘Daniel Tanner’s breathtaking photographs pulled on our heartstrings and our purse strings last night at the opening of his exhibition, All in Good Health. The talented photographer brought the pediatric oncology and hematology ward of the Sydney Eastern Suburbs Hospital alive in torrents of color and in subdued black-and-white. There was not a dry eye in the house by the end of the evening.’”
She finished reading in silence and then turned and threw herself at him, hugging him tight. “Oh, that’s brilliant.”
He enclosed her in his arms, returning the hug. Her breasts pressed into his chest, and need cut through him, hard and fast.
“You’re famous. You’re a star. Now everyone will think you’re amazing, not just me.”
Her guard was down, she’d lost her reserve, and she had no idea what she did to him. She was his Amy again and was wrapped around him, her body flush with his, burning him through his clothes.
“My biggest fan
.” His voice was hoarse, and in the position he found himself, he couldn’t hide his response to her.
Amy jerked her arms back and shifted on her heels. She held herself stiff and composed, her face a frigid mask.
He took her hand. “Don’t pull away. Don’t cut me out like that. Not after what happened between us last night.”
She yanked her hand from his. “Last night was a mistake,” she snapped and then looked appalled. “Oh God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”
The expected uncertainty didn’t stop her words from slicing through him. “How did you mean it to come out?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk about, to clear up any misunderstandings.” She turned around and stared out at the ocean. “I…that is, last night should never have happened. It was wrong.”
“It didn’t seem wrong at the time.” Nothing in his life had ever felt more right.
“Maybe so. But in the cold light of day, things look a lot different.”
“You don’t. You look every bit as beautiful as you did last night.” He needed to disarm her, charm her, and combat any argument she might make, no matter how logical.
“I was talking about…us.”
“You think if I kissed you now, it would be any different? Any less explosive? You think nothing else would happen?”
“That’s exactly what I think. We both have our senses about us now. Things are normal again.”
Their normal had changed, and he couldn’t wait to prove it to her. “Come here.” He kept his voice low. “Let’s find out exactly how things are in the cold light of day.”
She squirmed and folded her arms in front of her chest, but not before he noticed her breasts straining against the tight T-shirt. Her nipples jutted out, clearly outlined beneath the stretchy fabric. “We don’t need to find out anything. I’m telling you things are different. Last night, I got caught up in the moment and let it go too far. I’m sorry, it was my mistake.”
He moved closer to her. “You think we won’t get caught up in the moment right here?” He traced her lips with his finger. “You think if I kissed you now, you wouldn’t feel that excitement again?”
Her mouth opened at his touch.
He ran his finger ever so lightly between her lips before slipping it into her warm, wet mouth, and then out again, mimicking his actions from the night before.
“I…uh, no.” She stared at him with glazed eyes, the rise and fall of her chest uneven.
She was lying. He could see it in her liquid green gaze. If she looked at him with those bedroom eyes for another second, so help him, he would disprove her theory. Convincingly.
He ran his finger along her lips again. “Amy,” he murmured. “Would you like me to kiss you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Would you like me to touch you like I did last night?”
“Yes.” It was a soft moan.
His mouth close to her ear, he murmured, “If I touch you, will you come for me again?”
“God, yes.”
Without warning, her head snapped up. He heard a crack as her skull hit his.
She swore as she massaged her forehead. His own head throbbed.
“Ouch!” She glared at him. “Damn it, now look what you made me do.” She looked at her hand, as if checking for blood, then punched his arm. “This is exactly what I don’t want to get into with you.” Her voice gathered strength, and she hit him again. “I don’t want to get involved with you physically. Can you please just understand that?” She punctuated each word with another punch.
His head pounded, but her blows didn’t hurt, and he didn’t try to stop her. She was nervous and frustrated and needed to get rid of her pent-up energy. The next time she felt like this, he’d give her a very different way of venting her aggravation.
“Hitting me isn’t going to change what happened. We’re already involved. Didn’t I just prove it?”
Her hand clenched into a fist again, but after a moment’s deliberation, she let her arm drop to her side. “It didn’t mean anything. It was an outlet for our over-aroused emotional states.”
“Last night was a turning point in our relationship, and you know it.”
“No, it wasn’t.” She returned her focus to the sea, and her voice lost its fervor. “We’re still exactly the same as we were yesterday and the day before that. Just friends.”
“If that’s all it was, why are you trying so hard to put our friendship back into perspective? Why do you feel uncomfortable with me? You can’t even look me in the eye.” He gave her a minute to absorb his words. “You’re scared of your response to me. You didn’t expect it, and it’s got you all bent out of shape.”
She was as wound up as he was, and it pissed him off to think she was trying to minimize the effect their newfound intimacy had on both of them.
“Okay. You’re right. Last night wasn’t a normal, everyday event.” She studied her nails. “Let’s put it down to a new experience and leave it at that.”
“Let’s not.” He put his finger under her chin and turned her head, forcing her to look at him. “Let’s repeat it as often as we can and see what other new experiences we can have together.”
Amy swatted his hand away. “We can’t do that. Don’t you see? It would all get out of hand. We wouldn’t be able to control ourselves, and we’d sleep together, and the next thing we know, our friendship would be ruined.”
“You’d lose control?” Images of Amy lying naked beneath him, thrashing violently in the throes of a wild orgasm, crowded his mind, and he nearly groaned out loud.
“That’s not the point. The point is we’d have sex and then our friendship would be ruined.”
At least they were on the same wavelength now. Hell, yes, they’d have sex. Often. “How do you reckon it would ruin our friendship? If anything, it would make us a lot closer. Besides, it wouldn’t be sex.” His voice turned husky at the thought. “We’d be making love.”
Amy looked flustered. “No, we would not. Because it would never happen.”
“Why not?”
“Because you and I are friends. Nothing more.”
“We can make it into something more.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Your words tell me one thing, but your face is saying something different.” Her pupils were dilated, leaving only a thin emerald rim around huge black holes. Her mouth had softened, and her tongue darted out nervously.
Christ, he would give anything for her to wrap that mouth around his cock again. For her hot hands to caress his balls while she sucked greedily away, her tongue licking up and down his shaft. He wanted to come in her mouth and watch as she swallowed then wiped her lips in satisfaction.
She squeezed her eyes shut and sighed. “Look, I need to explain something to you. Could you please let me speak without interrupting and without contradicting me? And for God’s sake, stop touching me.”
Daniel smiled ruefully and pulled his hand back. He’d been about to wind it through her hair, pull her face close to his, and kiss her. Ravish her mouth until she whimpered and moaned like she had last night. Until her body was on fire and she was wet and begging for his touch, begging for release.
“Go ahead. I won’t say a word until you’re finished.”
Amy bit her lip. “See, the thing is, you’re my best friend. I can’t remember a time in my life when you weren’t. You’re always around when I need you. I love you, and I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”
She loved him. That’s what he wanted to hear. “I—”
“I’m talking.”
“Sorry,” he mouthed.
“What I was saying is that I never want to imagine life without you. And if I…sleep with you, that’s exactly what would happen. You’d fuck me and then you’d dump me.” She grimaced. “I know you too well. I know how you work with women. I’ve been through enough breakups with you. You’re not capable of sustaining a long-term relationship.”
&nb
sp; She held up her hands as if to placate him. “I’m not criticizing you. That’s the way you are, and it works for you. But that’s not what I want. If we got involved, it would be for a few weeks or a few months, and then you’d be off again, looking for another conquest.”
His heart filled with hope, and he couldn’t contain the smile that tugged at his lips. “Are you saying you want a long-term commitment from me?”
“No. I’m saying I want you to be my friend. Period. You’re unable to commit. You’d leave me and ruin our friendship. Because no matter how hard we tried, we could never go back to what we have now. A friendship unspoiled by sex.”
Daniel felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “I would never jeopardize our friendship. It’s as important to me as it is to you. And I would never leave you.”
“I know our friendship is important to you, but I also know how bored you get with women. Trust me, Danny. You’d leave.”
“Trust.” He rolled the word around in his mouth. “Funny word choice, since you seem to have very little trust in me.”
“I trust you with my life.”
“Just not with your heart.”
“Call me selfish, but I’m not willing to let you go for the sake of a little recreational sex.”
“You think that’s all sex between the two of us would be? Recreational?” He gave a cynical laugh. “Trust me, sweetheart, it would be a whole lot more meaningful than that.”
She eyed him warily. “I’m telling you this because I don’t want last night to happen again. Sex would destroy us.”
“Or it could also make us stronger.” Hell, fucking her would be the best thing that could happen to them. It would be fun, it would be hot, and it would leave them both so gratified, neither would be able to walk for a week.
“I’ve given this a lot of thought. It’s the right decision.”
“For whom?”
“For both of us.”
Daniel started to argue, but she cut him off. “Look, let’s leave it at that. I’ve said what I need to.” The look on her face told him she was not open to negotiation.
“What about what I have to say?” Even as he asked, he knew he had to stop arguing. She needed time. She was barely over Simon. Throwing himself at her feet now would scare the crap out of her.