by Daisy Allen
“You...” I start to protest.
“Hush, I’m going back to work now.” Harriet cuts me off and gives her computer screen her full attention again.
“Yeah. Right.” The ring of my cell phone in my purse saves her from a death glare. “Hello, Jade speaking,” I say into the phone.
There’s a garbled, almost unintelligible voice on the line. But I know who it is.
“Where are you?” I jot the information down on my pad. “Just stay there. I’ll be right there. You’re going to be alright.”
I pick my bag up and sling it over my shoulder, ignoring the pain in my side, now replaced by a pain in my chest.
“I gotta go, Harriet. Tell Harold I’ll be out for the rest of the day.”
I’m out the door before she can say a word.
Chapter Twenty-Two
HIM
I’m still sitting in the car outside when I see her suddenly emerge from the side alley. The mob has dispersed somewhat, but there are still a few stragglers. I put my hand on the door handle, ready to jump out and intervene but before they make it to her, she hails a cab and gets one almost immediately.
“Henry, follow that taxi and whatever you do, don’t lose it.”
“Sir.” Henry acknowledges and pulls into traffic, ignoring a horn blaring in protest.
Where could she be going at this time? It didn’t look like she was carrying any work with her. Is she ill? Is she going back to the hospital?
The drive seems to go on forever, but Henry has driven for more exciting clients than me, and he never loses sight of the cab, while hanging back enough to not be too conspicuous to an observer.
I sit back, making sure she’s always there. I’m amazed how the city scape changes as we turn onto FDR Drive and cruise along the river. Soon it becomes Harlem River Drive, and the buildings become older, with faded posters, torn and shredded, barely hanging onto the billboards, and more and more apartment blocks appearing shuttered and run down. We cross the bridge and turn into neighborhoods I’ve rarely been to, despite living in New York City my entire life.
“Where are we, Henry?”
“We’re turning into the West Bronx, Mr. Ashley.”
The traffic is sparser now, and Henry hangs further back to avoid detection. It’s hard for the car not to stand out though, against the graffitied walls and gutted cars piled up in empty parking lots.
“Good thing we didn’t take the limo this morning, Mr. Ashley.”
“You’re not wrong, Henry.”
“You sure we should be here, sir?”
“Not by choice, my man. But let’s just keep going. Don’t lose the cab.”
“Of course, sir.”
We turn off a main street into a small, dark alley. The cab stops about 50 feet ahead and Henry pulls to the side of the road. Jade gets out; I was right, all she has is her hand bag slung over her shoulder. I look around, trying to see where she might be headed, but all around are apartment buildings that look more like squatters’ quarters and crack dens. There’s no comprehensible reason for her to be here.
The taxi drives off and I see her try to run after it, trying to wave the driver down, calling out, “No, wait!!” He’s just going to leave her here. I shake my head in disgust.
I lean forward, looking through the glass compartment, trying to see what she’s doing. There’s a piece of paper in her hand and she holds it up, as if to match an address with the number on one of the buildings.
She hesitates and then walks up to one of the smog blackened doors, pushing on it and then stepping inside.
“For fuck’s sake.” I mumble. “Henry, drive up to that building please.”
He inches forwards and before he’s stopped the car completely, I push my door open. “Wait here, please.”
I walk up to the door, and brace myself for what I’m about to find inside. And why Jade Sinclair, a seemingly nice girl is here, on her own, in the middle of the day.
I pull my hoodie tighter around my face and push on the door. It’s heavy, protesting as it creaks open. I step inside and it swings back into place with a loud clang.
The first thing I notice, is the smell. It’s like someone has pressed a handkerchief soaked in urine against my face. I swallow down the urge to gag and will myself to breathe through my mouth.
I look around, letting my eyes adjust to the dark.
It’s just what I thought it would be.
A crack den.
There are stained mattresses strewn all over the floor and empty food containers littering almost every surface. The room in which I’m standing is empty but I can hear low voices and groans from the neighboring rooms. I wander through, ignored by the figures curled up in the corners, passed out or too high to even notice they’re being watched.
It looks like an old office building. There are no doors, or doors that close anyway. Just room after room of excrement, trash and discarded drug paraphernalia.
And no Jade.
“Jade!” I call out in a loud whisper. “Jade, where are you?” I step over piles of trash, and try to forget the face of strung out addicts, months from their last shower.
I finally step into a room and see her. She’s kneeling down over a figure that’s propped up against the wall. He looks completely lifeless. She’s murmuring something, but there’s no reply. She reaches out and shakes him and after a moment he moans in response. She drops her head and takes a deep breath.
“Jade!” I say, walking up behind her, my hand on my shoulder.
Her body jumps, but she doesn’t face me. “What are you doing here?” She hisses, as she stands up, pushing a hand against my chest. “Go away, you shouldn’t be here!”
“I shouldn’t be here? What are you doing here?”
“Just go away, Kaine, this is none of your business. Just go away! You said you didn’t want to ever see me again, remember?”
She drops back down to her kneels, tugging on the arm of the person sitting on the floor. He’s dressed in a torn t-shirt, stained with food and smoke. His hair is matted. His face resembles no color that would normally be described as human skin. I stand and watch as she slaps him gently on the face and neck, trying to get him to respond.
“Jade,” I tap her on the shoulder. “Jade!”
“What?” she snaps back, and looks up at me for the first time, her face covered in tears.
“What are you doing here?” I urge her.
“Because he called me. He said... he said he needed help,” she whispers, her voice husky and scared.
“Who?”
“Him,” she says, gently running the back of her hand down against his cheek. “Gabriel. He’s my little brother.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
HER
“It started about 6 years ago, when I got the job at the library. I’d moved to Manhattan from Harrisonburg, Virginia. Gabriel was in his senior year in high school and nothing was working for him. Lucinda, the girl he’d been dating since freshman year, broke up with him. He alienated himself from his friends and skipped more classes than he attended. Picked fights, with other students as well as the faculty. Eventually he got kicked out of school. We’d grown up living with our grandparents. They gave him an ultimatum; he had to get a job, get into a community college, or get out. I don’t blame them, they’d been through a lot with him, with both of us. Anyway, he started working at the local movie theatre. And it was good at first. But after work they’d all go out, and eventually, he started showing up late and missing shifts altogether. He got fired and was kicked out of our home. He moved to the city to stay with me, but it wasn’t long before he would go missing for weeks and then months on end. He’d come back now and then, usually with that he was going to get well, then disappear again. I’ve tried everything. But nothing’s worked. So now, I just hope. Hope that I never get a call to tell me he’s gone for good.”
I don’t look at Kaine the entire time I tell him about Gabriel. I don’t want to see the judgement on his face
, to see him think less of me for letting this happen to my own family member. I stare out the car window, where he led me so we could talk and pick at my nails. But I know, the entire time, he’s watching me.
“So, how did you find him?” Kaine asks when he realizes I’ve come to the end of my story.
“He called me this morning, said he needed help. Gave me the address and then, I guess, just passed out.”
“You say you lived with your grandparents?”
“Yeah, we were raised by our mother until Gabriel was about 4. She died from complications with her hysterectomy when she was 29 years old. We don’t know anything about our father. Her parents took us in after that. They were great, are great. This isn’t their fault. They did the best they could, knew how to do.”
“And now?”
I shrug. “The truth is, I’ve been here before, too many times. He tries, I know he does but nothing has ever really stuck. We can’t afford much. Sometimes I wonder if a proper rehab stint would help, but it’s out of our capabilities.”
He doesn’t say anything. He must be trying to think of a way to extract himself from this mess. As if me invading his privacy last night wasn’t enough. Now he’s seen me and Gabriel like this, it’s the last he’s every going to want to do with me. I don’t even know what he’s doing here or how or why. But having a moment to talk to someone just now, it’s given me the strength to get through the next few days with Gabriel, and it seems, again, I owe him.
“So, thanks for the chat, but I guess you better go now.” I push on the car door, but he reaches across me and pulls it shut again.
“Just... just stay here. Just, don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?” I call after him, but he’s already out of the car and running back towards the building.
I start to push on the door again but this time his driver speaks up. “Ma’am. I suggest you do what he says. Please.”
It surprises me so much that I obey.
I lean forward staring in the direction he went in, not knowing what to expect.
It’s not even a minute later when I see Kaine emerge from the building, and he’s not alone. In his arms, he’s carrying my brother. Gabriel’s body is limp, his eyes are closed, but he’s there. In Kaine’s arms, where I’ve been before.
The driver quickly jumps out of the car and opens the back door for his boss.
Kaine ducks under the door frame and lays Gabriel on the seat next to me, making sure his limbs are tucked in before closing the door and climbing into the front seat.
“Take us home, please, Henry.”
“Right away, sir.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
HIM
She’s quiet the entire ride back to my apartment. The only sounds from the back of the car are Gabriel’s occasional moans, and her softly comforting him, patting his arm and pulling my jacket up over his shivering body. Her face is as pale as it was this morning outside her office; her eyes are dark now, filled with worry. I don’t know what she thought was going to happen, but if there’s even the slightest thing I can do to relieve her burdens, I’m going to do it.
That revelation isn’t as surprising to me as I thought it would be.
“Drive around the back, Henry,” I whisper to my driver when we’re a block away, and his head nods.
I’ve called in advance to let the apartment building manager know that I’m going to need a private elevator waiting for me when we get there. Everything is ready just as I have requested, including my doctor, waiting in the apartment’s living room when we arrive upstairs.
“Henry, can you please take Mr. Sinclair into the guest bedroom? We’ll be there in just a second.”
I gesture for the doctor to follow Henry and Gabriel, and I gently press against Jade’s arm, keeping her back.
“Let the doctor examine him. Then you can be with him as much as you like,” I say gently. She nods and wanders over to the couch, clutching her bag against her chest.
I pour a glass of water and bring it over to her, sitting down on the couch beside her. She takes a sip of the water before I take it from her, placing it gently on the coffee table.
She looks at me for a moment and then lets out something that sounds half like a sigh, half chuckle. It’s a strange reaction to what’s going on.
“What is it?” I ask her.
“I was ...” she starts, then swallows. “I was just about to open my mouth to say thank you. Then I thought, the way things have been going with us, maybe I should just get a recording of it so you can replay it to save me the trouble of constantly repeating myself.”
I lean forward and take her trembling hand in mind. “You don’t have to thank me. You can forgive me, but you don’t have to thank me.”
“What the hell do I have to forgive you for?”
“Last night. The shower.”
“Kaine. I told you, that was all my fault. Maybe you should be the one forgiving me.”
I shake my head. She can’t let me off this easily. “I’m sorry I yelled.”
“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”
“But...”
“You know something? If you think it makes sense to me now why you’re always wearing hoodies, it doesn’t. There’s nothing you should feel like you have to hide, Kaine.”
“Then the world needs more people like you.”
This time it’s clearly a chuckle. Or a snort. “I’d have thought you’d be the LAST person who thought that.”
I laugh along with her, glad to see her relaxing a little.
“Kaine?”
“Yes, Jade?”
“You’re a hero.” I look down and her hand is on mine. I don’t know what to say, so I say the truth.
“No, Jade. Heroes have hearts. I only have scars.”
She opens her mouth as if to protest but we’re interrupted before she can.
“Ms. Sinclair, you can come in and see your brother now.”
Jade jumps up, throwing her bag on the floor and runs to the guest bedroom. I watch her until I can hear the soft coo of her voice drift out to the living room, then I carry her handbag into my bedroom and drop it onto the bed.
Gathering up a set of clean clothes and a towel, I pile them up in the main bathroom before knocking on the guest bedroom door.
“Come in,” she says. And I smile at her sweet voice beckoning me.
I step into the darkened room, the blinds are pulled shut, with the late morning sun streaming through the cracks. Gabriel is asleep on the bed, while Jade sits on the edge, squeezing his hand.
“How is he?”
“The doctor said he’s just out. It’s not an overdose or anything. He’s given him some antibiotics, because it looks like he has some sort of infection. He, er, he did say that we should bring him in for some tests though, because... well, his body’s been through a lot.”
“And, we’ll do that. Once he gets some rest. If it’s not urgent, he can rest for a few days.”
“Can you, um, can you close the door on your way out please?” she says, tactfully kicking me out.
“Of course, I’ve left some clothes and a towel for him in the bathroom, if he wakes up and wants to freshen up.”
“Thank you, Kaine.” She doesn’t look up, and I take that as my cue to leave.
***
I look up from my laptop hours later; I realize it’s almost 2 o’clock and we’ve missed lunch. It seems having her nearby has been the one catalyst for me to concentrate on work though, and I glance at my empty email inbox with a sense of achievement. Sliding the laptop off my knees, I try to remember the last I heard from Jade. She’d come out about two hours ago to get some orange juice for Gabriel, but then disappeared back into his room and I haven’t seen her since.
Brewing a pot of tea, I pour a cup for her, and take it into the guest bedroom.
“Jade?” I whisper, not wanting to disturb Gabriel. “Jade, it’s Kaine, I have a cup of tea for you.” The door isn�
��t closed all the way and I push it gently open and step inside.
Gabriel is still asleep, now in my clothes. She must’ve have managed to help get him freshened up. I always believe in the power of a good shower, and I hope it will help him sleep better. Jade has reclined back into the chair by the bed, her eyes closed, her hands in her lap.
I put the cup of tea down on the bed side table in case Gabriel wants it, and pull on Jade’s arm, slinging it around my neck as I slide my hands under her back and legs. I stand up and carry her into my bedroom. Her head nuzzles against my neck, and her breath is warm on my skin. It takes a conscious effort not to burn every detail of her body pressed against mine to my memory, and I remind myself, I’m just trying to help her.
I lay her onto the bed and she rolls out of my arms and onto the mattress, reaching for the pillow and sinking her head into it, as if she’s done it a thousand times.
“Hmmmm...butter,” she murmurs.
“What did you say?” I whisper, sitting down on the bed next to her, pulling the sheets over her body.
“Bed. Like butter.”
“Shhh, get some sleep.”
“Butter. Like Kaine’s lips,” she mutters, this time making me freeze.
Did she say my lips were like butter?
“What did you say?” I press her, not being able to resist my name on her lips.
“Nothing. Just... I bet Kaine’s lips are soft like butter.”
Then, without a hint of warning, her arms come up to circle around my neck and she pulls my mouth down to hers.
I lose all control in that moment. My arms slide around her back and pull her to me, the feel of her body against mine, making me instantly hard, and the scent of her orange blossom hair engulfs me.
My mouth is on hers and it’s everything I thought it’d be. Soft, warm, sweet, intoxicating.
And then just like that it’s over.
Her arms slip from my neck and flop onto the bed, her head falls back on the pillow, asleep.
I wrestle with my need to take her there and then, fuck her, make love to her, possess her, consume her, whatever you want to call it. But instead, I stroke the hair from her forehead, lean over and steal another soft kiss from her lips, and tiptoe out of the room.