by Daisy Allen
“MMmMmm,” she murmurs, her mouth against my chest.
“What’s that?”
“I said, thank you.”
“For what, sweet?”
“For saving my life.”
“Are we still on that? Anyone would’ve done the same.”
“No. I mean today. For giving it meaning again.”
I lay her gently on her side of the bed and roll her onto her side, sliding the zipper of her red dress down her back. She lets me help her out of her clothes then lays naked on the sheets as I kick my shoes off and slide in next to her. Pulling the blanket over us, she scoots back, letting me spoon her. My shins against her calves, her ass against my hips, my lips against the back of her neck.
Two jagged halves of a broken whole.
I stare out the window. From way up here, it looks like even the city that never sleeps is taking a night off. It’s quiet. Serene. And I’m more at peace than I have been in a long time.
I run my fingertips up and down the length of her arm and she sighs.
“I had a really wonderful day,” she mumbles, slowly letting the sleep take over her.
“Me too, baby, me too. Thank you for letting me be a part of your family. It’s... it’s been awhile.”
She inhales long and deep.
Then she turns, facing me. I can just make out her features, the bridge of her nose, the curve of her cheeks, the pout of her full, luscious lips.
“Where is your family, Kaine?” she asks me, her voice low and sweet.
And I say nothing.
I say nothing until her eyes stop searching mine.
I say nothing until her breath comes steady and slow.
I say nothing until I reach over, stroking the hair from her face and she doesn’t respond, already deep in the throes of sleep.
I say nothing because there’s nothing to say.
There is no answer.
Because they are nowhere.
***
“Mr. Ashley, you have a very busy day. I’ve had to push some of the lower priority tasks to next week, but there are a lot of decisions that need to be finalized today for the launch.”
“I know, I’m sorry, Jem, thanks for everything you did to help me out with yesterday though.”
She waves her notepad, “Yeah, yeah. Enough thanks, more work!”
“Yes, drill sergeant!” I tease her, my good mood apparent.
She looks at me strangely and looks like she’s trying to hold back on asking me something.
“What? Out with it!”
“Are you okay?” she peers at me over her notepad.
“What do you mean?”
“You seem... forgive me. But you seem, not in a bad mood.”
“I’m not in a bad mood. Is that so strange?”
“A little... especially, lately.”
“Well, then... enjoy!”
She laughs and goes back to her desk. The phone’s already ringing before she gets there.
“Mr. Kent on the phone for you.”
“Hey.”
“Hellooo to you. How are you?”
There’s a silence on the line for a moment before he speaks again.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“You seem, um...”
“Let me guess... not in a bad mood.”
“That’s... exactly how I was going to put it...not at all ‘like someone made you eat a mound of shit.’”
“Poetic.”
“I try.”
“What’s up?”
“Just checking in, I didn’t hear from you yesterday.”
“I wasn’t around.”
“I know.”
“How do you know,”
“I know because... you didn’t call to harass me yesterday.”
“Maybe that’s why I’m in a good mood.”
“Nice.”
“I try.”
“Anyway, I’m checking in with Dylan today to see if he’s found out anything more about ‘J.’ I know he spent the last few days going through all the security footage, but hasn’t come up with anything.”
“Shit. It’s coming close. How can no one not know anything? You’ve checked in with the guys at our production factory?”
“Nothing. I’m pretty sure they’re clean. This is... this is going through some other channels. I don’t know who.”
“Find out.”
***
The morning goes by so fast, the next time I reach for my coffee cup three hours later, it’s still full and cold.
“Jemima, I’m going downstairs for a coffee.”
“Okay,” she calls out to me, too busy with her own work to care.
“Can you I get you something?”
“A raise,” comes the instant reply.
“How about a double latte?”
“Fine.”
The elevator dings and before I can step onto it, Jade jumps out, a picnic basket in her hands.
“Surprise!”
“Jade! What are you doing here?”
“I just told you, ‘surprise!’” She giggles and drops the basket on the floor, stretching up on tip toes to give me a kiss. I instantly slide my arm around her and pull her in close, inhaling her scent. Already the stress of the morning is forgotten.
“I was packing my lunch for this morning, when I saw just how much cake Grammy packed for me, and I’d much rather share it with you, then anyone else.”
“Well, what else do you have in that basket?”
“Hmm a warm chicken salad and a teeny tiny tub of ice cream from Alejandro’s.”
“And what are you going to eat?”
She giggles and gives me a wink. I take a breath and remind myself we’re at my work place and will my cock to behave.
“Anyway, I thought you could show off this rooftop garden you’ve been telling me all about.”
“Let me go grab my phone and I’ll be right back,” I call over my shoulder running to my desk.
When I come out, Jade has wandered over to Jemima’s desk, and is introducing herself.
Jemima eyes her up and down, and there’s a strange flicker of something in her eyes. Jemima is attractive and intimidating; part of the reason I employed her was to stop as much drama from reaching me as possible. But her usual cold demeanour doesn’t seem to be having any effect on Jade who is still smiling, and asking Jemima about her shoes.
I find myself pressing a hand against Jade’s back, almost protectively.
“Shall we go? I’m sorry, I don’t have much time for a long lunch break,” I tell her.
“Okay, well, it was nice meeting you, Jemima. Kaine raves about you. I don’t think he could do this all without you.”
Jemima’s eyes cut to me, a look of surprise in them.
“He’s a great boss. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your birthday trip yesterday.” All of the coldness melts away. It’s not the first time I’ve seen Jade’s warm effect on someone.
“It was amazing, thank you,” Jade smiles.
“I’m glad. When Kaine asked me to book our private plane last week without knowing where you were going to go, I was worried. It can be hard to plan ahead, since the weather’s been a bit crazy lately.”
“No, it was wonderful. Couldn’t have been better.”
“I’m glad,” my secretary beams.
I press on Jade’s back and we start to make our way to the elevator.
Suddenly, Jade stops and spins back in Jem’s direction.
“Wait. Did you say you booked the plane last week?”
“Sure did, he spent a lot of time wondering what to do for your birthday. I think he picked the right thing.”
Jade looks at me, her forehead steadily crinkling into a frown, her eyes darting back and forth, trying to put her thoughts together. I’m not sure what she’s confused about.
“But, but the other night when I told you it was my birthday, you acted like you didn’t know. How did you know it was my birthday? I never tell
anyone.”
Shit.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
HER
I ask him again. “When and how did you know it was my birthday, Kaine?”
He doesn’t say anything. I see his eyes narrow just a tiny bit, as if trying to process the thoughts running through his brain. I don’t know if it’s to try to understand my question, or to try to come up with an answer.
“Oh, are you sure? You must’ve brought it up in passing over the last few weeks,” he says.
But I know I haven’t. I never bring it up. And I make sure he knows that.
“I’m 100% positive that I did not tell you until the night before my birthday. I don’t ever tell anyone. The only people other than family who know are Harriet and anyone who has my personal records.”
He clears his throat, posturing a little, glancing over at Jemima, who looks down at some papers on her desk.
I ignore it all, staring at him. How did he find out about it?
“Kaine?”
He reaches around and scratches the back of his neck. I’ve never seen him like this, nervous, like he’s hiding something.
“Kaine? How did you know it was my birthday?”
“Jade. It’s not a big deal. I just knew, and I wanted to do something special for you.”
“That’s not an answer. And I’m not going to stop asking until I get one.”
“Jade.”
“Kaine? I’m serious. Tell me how you knew.”
It’s a standoff. He shoves his hands into his pockets and puffs out his chest, drawing himself up, making himself bigger.
But he forgets, I know just how tender he can be. And he’s forgotten how stubborn I can be. And I can stare him down until I get what I want.
“Xavier told me.”
“And how would Xavier know?”
“Jade, just let it go!” he pleads.
“What chance do you really think you have of that happening?”
“God! It was in the report we got about you, okay?”
“What report?”
“The report we got from... Dylan.”
“Your PI?”
“Yes.”
“Your fucking private investigator?”
He doesn’t answer, just cringes and tries to reach for me.
I step back and yank my hand away, my head shaking, trying to comprehend that the man I’ve been practically living with, sleeping with, sharing everything with, had me investigated. And then the betrayal cuts even deeper.
“You hypocritical asshole.” I hiss, the anger burning in my chest.
“Jemima, go.”
“Yes, Mr. Ashley,” she says, standing up and making for the elevator.
We both turn and watch her go, the fury building and building inside of me.
“I can NOT beli-...” I start.
“Wait,” he hisses, pressing a finger to his lips, gesturing his head toward Jemima, just as there’s a ding to announce the elevator’s arrival.
“No, I will not fucking wait. In fact, I’m not even going to fucking stay. Hold the elevator, Jemima,” I call out as I run to join her.
“No, don’t hold it, Jemima.” Kaine comes running after me, grabbing my hand just as I step into the elevator and pulls me back. “Go!”
Jemima reaches for the button to close the door and gives me an apologetic smile. The elevator leaves and we’re alone.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Kaine.” I say, refusing to look at him.
“Please, just listen!”
“What? What could you possibly have to say that would make this alright?”
“I just... I just had to know.”
“Know what?! If I was some sort of gold digger? After all your billions of dollars?”
“No, it’s just...”
“Just what? Or maybe... oh my God, or maybe I planned the whole mugging? I wanted to get stabbed in the stomach and have my throat almost slit?”
“Jade. Of course not, I didn’t think...”
“And that I loved having mobs of crazy New Yorkers camp out in front of my workplace?”
“You tried very hard to find me,” he says as an argument.
I gasp at the meaning behind the comment. He knows why I did that. And yet he’s bringing it up as an explanation.
“And I told you why. And I thought you understood.”
“I do.”
“You don’t.”
“I had to be sure, a man in my...”
“Position? I don’t give a crap about your position, Kaine. I didn’t know you from a homeless man when we first met, it’s not why I wanted to find you. You... you know, when you told me you’d been watching me on the security camera at your apartment, I didn’t like it, but fine, it’s your home. Then you stalk me, following me when I go to find Gabriel? Now I find out you had a fucking PI investigate me? Do you, do you even know what an invasion of privacy that is? I’m not one of your employees, Kaine! We’re... we’re supposed to... be something. Fuck, I don’t know what we are.” I throw my hands up in defeat.
He flinches. Like I’ve hurt him. As if I could.
I turn away from him, staring out the side window out into the grey ski.
“Don’t say that. You know what we are,” he says softly. And in this moment, I don’t agree with him.
“What? What are we? Huh, you apparently know everything about me? But what do I know about you? Nothing... NOTHING! You won’t share anything with me.”
“Jade. Come on.” He comes up behind me and pulls me tightly against him. I gather all my inner strength to push him away.
“You tell me nothing. I know nothing. Maybe this... has all been one-sided after all. Maybe, maybe what I feel isn’t real, because I don’t even know you.” I shake my head. I don’t know where to go from here. The rejection I feel every time I ask him something and he just disappears inside himself is too much for me. “I... I’ve gotta go,” I tell him.
He runs up and grabs my hands, twisting them around, and backs me up against the wall.
I don’t meet his eyes, instead staring out into the abyss of the Manhattan skyline, begging myself not to cry. Not in front of him.
His hands are tight around my forearms, holding them up over my head. His body pressed hard against me.
“Jade.” There’s a desperation in his voice I’ve never heard before. It makes my heart ache.
“You do know me. God, don’t say that you don’t. You do. You know me better than anyone. You know me better than I know myself. Because, these last few days? It’s like I’ve been reborn. You brought me back to life. I’m here because of you.”
“Kaine. You don’t even trust me,” I tell him. And he flinches again, as if the revelation hurts him as much as it hurts me.
“I do, I trust you. I just... this was before you came to me. I, I wanted to know everything about you. I was yours the moment you fell into my arms. And if I couldn’t be with you, at least I could watch you from afar.”
“I don’t believe you.” But I want to. Make me believe you, I beg him in my mind.
He leans in, and crushes his lips against mine. It catches me by surprise, I don’t have time to resist. My body responds before I do, melting into him, my mouth, kissing him back.
His hands stay pinning my arms to the wall, as his mouth moves all over me, over my lips, my cheese, my neck. Like he can’t get enough of me, like he wants to ingest me, devour me.
“Kaine,” I whisper, half moan, half protest.
He drags his tongue along my décolleté, knowing how sensitive I am there, before pressing his forehead against mine, his eyes staring into mine, so close all I can see are his pupils, wide, open. “I’m showing you... I’m showing you how much I trust you, how much you know me. How much... I’m yours.”
With that, he sweeps me into his arms, carrying me back to his office, laying me down on one of the empty workstations in the middle of the room.
Keeping his eyes on me, he unbuttons the charcoal grey shirt he’s w
earing and peels it off his body. Then go his shoes, his pants. And soon, he’s completely naked in front of me. There’s an aching vulnerability, one that’s palpable, soul wrenching.
He reaches up, somewhat awkward, his hand against his face, his scar.
And my heart breaks for him.
I reach out my hand to him, and he comes up, sliding his body on top of mine, reaching up under my skirt and between my legs. He growls, feeling my wetness. I’m ready, I’m always ready for him. Even in the fury, the anger, of our fight, I could never deny wanting him.
“Jade,” he whispers, pulling my panties down my body.
“Kaine,” I whisper back, my hands tracing lines up and down his neck and back.
“My beautiful, sweet Jade,” he says, louder this time, moving his hips to position himself, his finger flicking over my clit, making me lose all sense.
“God, Kaine.”
“Jade. My angel, my all,” he declares. And then he slides into me, Slow, deep, hard, purposeful, completely.
And it’s different to every other time.
He holds himself still inside me, as we both adjust to the feeling of being ultimately connected.
I arch against him and he takes my face in his hands, staring down at me, our eyes locked as he starts to make love to me. In and out. Each thrust, like it’s the first time. His pupils growing darker and wider as his breath becomes shorter and shorter.
“I trust you, completely, implicitly,” he struggles to say. Struggles from lack of breath, not lack of belief.
“I know,” I tell him, because I know he needs to hear it.
The words spur him on and I grip the sides of the table as his hips start to drive himself harder and harder into me. I’m so close, I can taste it.
I wrap my legs around his waist, grinding my hips against his just as I feel my orgasm break over me. He roars, throwing his head back as he crushes his hips against mine, his whole body stiffening as he empties everything he has inside of me. Our eyes never stray, watching each other commit all.
I take his face in my hands and kiss him. Kiss him until there’s no breath left.
He slides down onto the floor and pulls me down with him, cradling my head on his shoulder, smiling at me.
I reach out, my fingers approaching the left side of his face and he flinches and pulls away.