“Sorry, Kira, but really, if I had to choose, I’m glad I did what I did today. You’d be in a lot more trouble if that punch of yours had made it to Lucy’s face. By the way, when did you learn to fight?” He laughed again, the good way this time. I wished I was there with him, wished I could see the expression on his face. “You had her pinned up against the lockers like you meant serious business—”
I crossed the room and laid down on my bed.
“I’m surprised Lucy didn’t pee her pants—”
Now he had me laughing. “Was it scary?”
“Scary?” He paused, his voice lowered an octave. “I wouldn’t call it scary.”
A shiver danced on my skin. I could hear what he wasn’t saying. We were crossing into some unknown territory together, me with my wild behavior today, him with the things he wouldn’t say out loud. Is this what it’s like to grow up? All these strange feelings and urges, all bottled up, adults trying to keep us under control so we don’t accidentally kill each other.
“Can you sneak out?” I whispered. As if his dad was on another line, waiting to find out what we were doing.
“I don’t know, Kira.”
“Please? Pretty, pretty please? We could come home as early as you want. Brianna could pick us up.”
He was quiet. He was thinking. That’s how Sean was. I planned and he thought about things for a long time. Together, we were slightly dangerous.
“What did your dad say about all of this?” he asked.
“He doesn’t know.”
“You know you can’t keep it a secret.”
Of course, I knew that. Nothing was a secret in Crescent Moon Bay. Not for longer than ten minutes. “Please,” I said again.
More quiet. More thinking. I wondered if he knew how much I wanted to see him tonight. I ran my thumb along my chin and my lower lip, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him.
“Okay.”
I sat up. Not believing what I just heard. My heart hammered in my chest and I was suddenly afraid of what might happen tonight. My mouth was dry and I tried to swallow.
“You still there?” he asked.
“Yeah. I’m just surprised. I mean, what if your dad catches you?”
“So what?” he asked. “I’m already grounded. What’s he gonna do, put me in jail?”
We both laughed.
“I’ll call Brianna. Can you be here in half an hour?” I asked. I still had to get permission and change my clothes. I was looking at myself in the mirror, wondering what I should do with my hair, what I should wear.
“Absolutely,” he said, his voice like velvet.
I was smiling when we hung up. Sean was still my best friend. I didn’t have anything to worry about. Even if my feelings were out of control. Somehow, having him with me tonight was going to make everything okay.
Chapter 16
Kira:
My mother was haunting me, seven days a week now. She lurked in every mirror and picture frame. I’d really rather see my own face again. It was a little bit like having your identity stolen.
I had on a black mini dress and sandals, my hair hung loose in a waist-long tumble of black waves, Gram’s Celtic cross around my neck. I wished I had a full sleeve tattoo like that girl in the shop yesterday—Mean Girl. With a sleeve tattoo, you wouldn’t notice how pale I was. All you would see was that ink, and then maybe you’d notice my long hair.
You might even miss my resemblance to the dead.
So I hid my face behind red lipstick and black mascara—both birthday presents from my cousin, Celia. I didn’t wear make-up very often and the effect was pretty dramatic. If I had been Brianna or one of the other girls at school, I’d probably be wearing high heels, but I still had too much tomboy in me. I was never going to be a Paper Doll, never cover my face with thick make-up or spend hours straightening my hair. Never join clubs or play team sports.
Never have a heart-to-heart with my mom before I went out on a date.
Never borrow one of my sister’s dresses or ask her for advice about boys.
Sean would be here in a minute.
I had to quit pretending that we were going on a date. He never said we were, so I needed to drop it. Besides, Brianna was picking us up, like we were two little kids. Who goes on a date when another girl is driving?
No one, that’s who.
I turned up my stereo, closed my eyes and let the music take over. Everything that had happened today faded away. All I could think about was the party. Wild energy charged through me, like I wanted to dance all night long, like I wanted to go swimming so far out in the ocean that I reached Japan.
I wanted my life to change.
I didn’t want to be safe anymore.
I opened my drawer and pulled out that secret bottle of Katie’s perfume, twisted off the cap and touched it once behind each ear lobe. “For luck,” I whispered to the six-year-old ghost who might or might not be in my room right now. I tried not to think about my sister who would never go out on a first date or wonder what to wear to a party. With a catch in my throat, I slid on a pair of silver hoop earrings, then glanced in the mirror. My skin was still as pale as the moon—something that really made me stand out in this tourist beach community—but tonight was the first time that I realized it looked good. A tiny bit gothic, like maybe I’d been born to live in some magical world where the sun didn’t shine. I imagined myself in a fog-drenched Irish village by the sea, a lighthouse cutting broad beams of light out toward the ocean, guiding ships back to the shore.
But the light was guiding something else too. I could almost see them in the water, shapes that looked part human, part something else, all heading toward the beach. Long hair dark from the water, skin pale as the sea foam, muscles strong from swimming—
Just then a knock sounded on the front door.
“Sean’s here,” Gram called from the living room.
My heart ricocheted in my chest as I grabbed my purse and a jacket. One hand instinctively brushed against the Celtic cross around my neck. I held it to my lips, kissed it, then whispered, “Mom, if you can hear me, please watch over me tonight.”
A warm breeze teased the curtains beside my bed, stirred my hair.
Then I held my breath and opened the door to my room. With one hand I smoothed my dress as I walked around the corner, through the hallway and into the living room.
There he was. Standing by the front door.
Wearing tight jeans and a black shirt, his long hair messed up like he’d just taken a shower and forgotten to brush it. His eyes looked darker than usual. His mouth opened just a bit when I walked into the room.
“Wow,” Sean said, so soft that I don’t think he wanted me to hear.
I think my heart skipped a beat.
It might have been a perfect moment, if Dad and Gram hadn’t been there. I could tell both of them were trying not to react. Dad came over and gave me a hug.
“You look beautiful, baby girl,” he said. Then he turned to Sean, flint in his eyes like I’d never seen before. “I don’t care what anybody else is doing at the party, no drinking and no drugs. Understand?”
Sean stood on the threshold between adolescence and adulthood, just like me, except he was as tall and broad as my dad. Still he nodded and blinked, almost like he was surprised that my dad would even suggest something like that. Suddenly he was twelve years old again and we’d just gotten caught climbing over the fence and walking along the edge of the cliff.
“Of course, Mr. Callahan. I’d never do that.” But his voice cracked when he spoke and it took away some of the conviction.
“I’m holding you responsible if anything happens,” Dad said.
Sean lifted his chin and his shoulders fell back in place. He suddenly looked five years older. And hot. “Nothing’s going to happen, sir, I promise.”
And as soon as he said that, I wanted nothing more than to change his mind.
Chapter 17
Kira:
Brianna’s Me
rcedes purred at the base of my driveway, headlights pointing up toward us. Like a perfect gentleman, Sean held my hand as we scaled the curving cement switchback toward her car. As far as I was concerned, it was now or never. We came around the last curve, still sheltered in darkness, surrounded by oleander and bougainvillea, the fragrance of jasmine in the air. The moon hid behind a bank of clouds and I pulled Sean’s hand, drawing him closer.
“Kira,” he said, slightly off balance.
I stood on tip toes, reached one hand up and slid it around his neck. He could have pushed me away, could have turned his head to the side. But he didn’t.
Instead, he leaned into me. Caught his balance, put one arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest.
In the darkness, in the jasmine, in the moonlight.
We had our first kiss.
It was like fire.
My lips found his like I was on autopilot, like we did this every day. There was a sharp intake of breath just beforehand, like we both knew we were diving into deep water and might not come back up for a long time. I was instantly aware of every inch of his flesh pressed against mine; I smelled his light citrus cologne. For some reason, the kiss made me hungry, but this was a different kind of hunger, something I’d never felt before. Fire screamed through my muscles and my veins.
I didn’t want to stop and I could tell that he didn’t either.
Then Brianna honked her horn.
We pulled away for a moment, then he followed it with a second small kiss. Gentle and sweet.
“Kira,” he said my name again and it sounded like music. Like wild dance-all-night-long music. “I didn’t know—”
“Now you do.”
We both smiled. Then we continued down the path to Brianna’s car.
•
Her house glowed like a beacon, set atop the hills that faced the ocean. This was where the rich people lived. Every house we passed looked like it had been carved out of the cliff face, each one with multiple balconies that jutted over the water.
The water.
It captured my attention every time we came into a clearing, horizon to horizon of waves smashing against rock and sand. So much energy and power. I could hear the echo of the surf in my pulse. We were synchronized, the ocean and me.
“We’re here,” Brianna said, her car slowing to a stop in a broad driveway that could easily hold six cars. A siren call of light and laughter and music drifted toward us. The party was going strong, even without its hostess. “My cousin’s visiting,” she told us as we walked up the stone steps. “I know everybody thinks I’m having a party because my parents are out of town, but they know all about it.” She tossed me a wicked grin. “They even gave me their Visa card to pay for everything.”
The front door swung open and for a minute, I swore everyone from our high school was here, dancing on balconies, lounging on sofas, standing in hallways.
“You hungry?” Brianna asked.
Suddenly I remembered all that tilapia I had meant to eat when no one was looking. But I had gotten caught up getting dressed and forgot.
It felt like I hadn’t eaten in days.
She gestured toward a young man dressed in black and he approached with the stealth of a panther, a platter expertly balanced on one hand. Then I realized that other young men—all handsome—also meandered through the crowd with platters of food. Likewise, beautiful young women dressed in black sauntered past with trays of drinks.
The waiter lowered the tray so we could see.
Sushi. Yellow tail and smoked salmon and halibut.
“Awesome!” Sean said and he grabbed a small plate and filled it. I did the same.
A few minutes later another waiter passed, his tray filled with crab puffs and shrimp cocktail and lobster shish-ka-bobs. I was in heaven. All I wanted to do was follow these culinary gods around, I didn’t care about anything else.
“This is unbelievable,” Sean murmured in my ear. I nodded. “I’ve never been to a school party this lush before. And there are no adults anywhere.”
He was right. Even the servers looked like they were barely eighteen. That was when I noticed that there were no band geeks anywhere in sight. No geeks of any kind. Just the top level students and the star athletes, everybody here either excelled in calculus or track. The room sizzled with muscles and animal magnetism. I had a strong desire to sneak off with Sean and finish what we had started in my driveway.
Just then a gorgeous blonde wearing a long black dress stopped to offer us a drink. At first glance they looked suspicious, all in frosty martini glasses, decorated with slices of pineapple and mango and strawberry.
“Go ahead,” Brianna said. “They’re all fruit drinks. Totally safe, I promise. The last thing I want is to get in trouble when my parents are gone.”
I grabbed something and took a long drink. It tasted like a citrus smoothie.
“Delicious,” I said.
Sean laughed. “You have a smoothie mustache.”
“Yeah, maybe you want to lick it off.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Is that a dare?”
I was just about to grab him and pull him closer, when I saw Brianna giving us both a nervous glance. It had to look weird, the two of us suddenly acting like we were a couple instead of best friends. After all, it had only been two kisses. Did that mean we were boyfriend and girlfriend? Or did it mean that when the moon was full and I got dressed up, Sean became a normal teenage boy who couldn’t turn down a little action?
I shrugged and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
We had all night to figure out where our relationship was heading.
That was when I saw him, walking right toward us wearing a big grin.
Caleb. Cute Guy. Looking like the son of Poseidon in a tank top and black pants. Every muscle in his arms and his chest exposed, every girl in the room turning her head to stare as he passed by.
I tried to look away, but his gaze held mine. Everyone else in the room faded away, even Sean—but I didn’t want him to disappear. I forced my head to turn, found Sean beside me, being tempted by a platter of tiny desserts. He hadn’t even noticed the approach of his potential rival.
I turned back to stare at Caleb—willingly this time—and examined him carefully. Was he boyfriend material or was something else going on here? I felt a primal, forbidden urge, like I wanted to run naked across burning hot sand, knowing that in a minute I’d be immersed in the icy Pacific. At the same time, a swell of guilt flowed through me. Why did I always react like this when he was around?
He stopped right in front of me and Brianna echoed his grin. She slid her arm in his, like they were best pals.
“Kira and Sean, this is my cousin. Caleb,” she said.
I didn’t know what to say.
They didn’t look anything alike. Except for the shape of their faces. The longer I stared at them the more I began to see a few similarities. The nose, the shape of their eyes. Then I felt that same dip and tilt of the floor, just like yesterday in the shop, like I was on a boat. I tried to catch myself before I stumbled.
Someone behind me grabbed me by the elbow. “You okay?” a familiar voice asked.
I swiveled.
Mean Girl. And behind her, all of her friends. I was surrounded by them.
I managed to catch my balance, then pried her hand from my arm.
There’s something about being in control that I really like. That day in the shop, I had it. Back then, these tourists had been on my turf. I may have felt unsettled, but ultimately I knew that they were just passing through town. There was no danger. But right now, everything shifted. Just like the sand beneath your feet when a wave crashes over you.
This gorgeous pack of teenagers was here in Crescent Moon Bay for a reason. And I wasn’t sure if I liked it. At all. Even if Caleb was about the hottest guy I’d ever met and he seemed to get more attractive every time I saw him.
Besides, I didn’t need another hot guy. I already had one.
That was when I realized that Mean Girl was checking out Sean, a dangerous look in her eyes.
My skin caught fire and every muscle in my right fist clenched. Just like at school. But I really didn’t want a repeat performance of what had happened with Lucy today and it was taking everything I had to hold myself back. Anger pounded through me like a war drum, my heart sounded an alarm, beat by beat—
Your territory is being invaded
You have to fight for what you want.
I imagined myself escorting Mean Girl out onto the balcony and letting her know the rules in this little town—Number One: you don’t even think about flirting with my guy. Even if he doesn’t know he’s my guy yet.
Meanwhile, all of her tourist pals gathered around us in a loose circle, three girls and two boys. One of them, a girl with long blonde braids, looked different from the others. Like they weren’t really her friends and she regretted being here. She gave me a half-smile and something about her, some kindness or sorrow in her eyes, took away part of my anger. For the briefest instant I felt like I was looking into the eyes of a friend, even though we’d never met before.
Then Mean Girl gave Sean another long, smoky stare.
“I heard you went all postal at school today,” she said, glancing back at me. The boys at her side laughed. She looked me up and down. “Maybe you’ve got potential after all.”
She smiled, ice beneath her dimples.
“Riley.” Caleb shoot her a smoldering look.
“You aren’t going to tell me what to do, are you?” she asked.
Nobody laughed now. It felt like the entire party got quiet, but there was no way that these two could have pulled that off. I was sure that somewhere the music was still playing and the jocks were still trying to prove who was the strongest or the fastest. I didn’t notice it at first, but Sean had taken a half-step forward. Now his body was in front of mine, shielding me.
Part of me wanted to push him aside so I could have a chance to take down Mean Girl myself, if necessary. The other part of me melted. He stood so close that I could smell his aftershave and I remembered the touch of his lips against mine.
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