bread, and gazed at her reflection in the shiny back of the metal spoon; indigo-blue eyes in an ochre-toned face framed by hair locks dyed a vivid fuchsia stared back. Sometimes she wondered if it was worth it, coming to the Dreamlands every night while their bodies slept. Considering how much time they spent each visit, on average two months, the relatively few hours spent in the Waking World each day strongly tempted them to believe their Dream-lives were reality and their Waking-lives a fantasy. So far, they had managed to avoid the trap, but it became a little more difficult with each sojourn. If they weren't careful, one night they could decide to move to the Dreamworld permanently, with help from a bottle of sleeping pills.
Still, their adventures had been beneficial. They not only helped them to mature, and to toughen them against the travails of life, she and Sunny had also spent far more time together than they had before they learned how to Dream. She had convinced herself that, had they never learned that secret, they would have eventually drifted apart and separated. Instead, she felt about her partner the way she would a spouse, and she believed Sunny felt the same way. Whatever their ultimate fate, she was sure they would face it together.
Movement at the edge of the spoon caught her attention. "Sunny."
"I know." She put down her utensil. Sunny had a number of special talents in the Dreamlands, one being that she could never be taken by surprise under normal circumstances, except by a cat.
Two ruffians, with steins in their hands and wearing elaborate leather armor, came up on either side of them. The one on Eile's left looked like an ursine brawler, with a great bushy black beard, a bald head, and a patch over one eye. Three parallel scars ran from the top of his head diagonally under the patch into the beard. The one on Sunny's right was shorter and thinner, with close-cropped green hair, clean-shaven effeminate features, and a green cloak over his shoulders. They crowded in beside them, placing their drinks on the counter, as if trying to push them together, and the patrons they displaced moved out of the way to give them room.
"Well, now," Green-hair spoke, his voice lilting as he smiled, "and what fine beauty has graced our rude alehouse this eventide, hmm?"
"Me thinks," Eye-patch replied in a low guttural tone, "it be a pair of molls, searching for beds for the night." And he grinned a mouthful of crooked yellow teeth.
Eile noticed the buxom blonde barmaid staring at them with concern, before she hurried off into the back behind the bar.
"Indeed? Then, it behooves us to make an offer, before others can claim their favors."
"Me thinks you be right." And Eye-patch stroked Eile's long, seal-brown ponytail.
She half-turned and pointed a finger at his face. "Hey! Hands off the merchandise!"
"She's right; patience, my friend, there will be plenty of time to sample their wares, once payment has been negotiated."
Edjertan seemed to come out of nowhere, and he slammed a maul down on the counter with a roaring bang, startling all four of them.
"I don't want no trouble in my place!"
Green-hair recovered first. "If there is any commotion, my good landlord, it will be at the instigation these two."
Edjertan glanced from Sunny to Eile. She winked at him. He raised an eyebrow, but then grunted and went back into his workroom.
Green-hair raised a gloved hand, and he held out a canvas bag, its bulging mass easily as big as one of his companion's fist.
"Fifty gold crowns, should be more than enough for ladies as comely as yourselves." He dropped it in front of Sunny's bowl.
She whistled. "My word! That's more than Scylla the Hetaera gets for a threesome!"
"Then, you accept?"
"We'll think about it," Eile said, picking up the bag.
Eye-patch growled, but while she saw no change in Green-hair's demeanor, she received an impression of growing menace. She figured he would be the more dangerous of the two.
"So. You play games with us?"
Sunny flashed Eile a warning look. "We may get other offers," she said in an even tone; "we'd like to consider our options. But you can leave this as a retainer."
"You will not get a better offer from this crowd."
"Maybe," Eile said, "maybe not, but it's our choice."
"Me thinks these two be making fools of us," Eye-patch said as he leaned closer.
"I believe we should take this conversation elsewhere," Green-hair said, as he gripped Sunny's right wrist; "say, our room down the street?"
"Me thinks you be right," Eye-patch replied, and laid a hand on Eile's right shoulder.
"Move it or lose it, buster!"
He lifted his hand in reflex, but growled as he balled it into a fist.
"No more talk," Green-hair said as he grabbed Sunny's left shoulder and made to pull her off her stool.
"Zap!" she squeaked. He stiffened as he lit up with an actinic glow, electrical current playing around his body. Eye-patch looked over at him and started to straighten up. Eile reared back and partly turned, ramming her left elbow into his nose. He hollered in startled pain, and Eile turned further, grabbed him by his beard and the collar of his leather cuirass, pulled, and pounded his forehead against the rounded edge of the countertop. She let him go and he slumped to the floor. At the same moment, the glow and current vanished from Green-hair, and he collapsed at the foot of Sunny's stool.
She and Sunny hopped off the seats and retreated from the bar a few feet, then turned to confront their molesters. They recovered faster than she expected. If they pressed the fight, their armor would be a problem, but she and Sunny knew how to get around that. Their many adventures had taught them more than one trick for dealing with stronger opponents.
Eye-patch pushed himself up and turned, bellowed like a bull, and threw himself at her, as Green-hair stood, pulling a long knife with a wicked, serpentine blade, and advanced on Sunny. Eile sidestepped the brawler, grabbed the back of his cuirass, and used his momentum to throw him forward. He sailed off his feet and landed on top of a table between two patrons, crushing it beneath him. She spun around in time to see Sunny leap up; she kicked the knife hand aside as she kicked Green-hair in the face. He fell back and crashed into a couple of patrons at the bar, spilling their drinks and stew. They turned and pushed Green-hair away, then stood up, looking pissed.
Eile glanced back at Eye-patch. He struggled to rise, but the pair of customers advanced on her, smacking fists into open hands. She and Sunny retreated until they stood shoulder to shoulder.
"We've got ourselves a rhubarb," Sunny said. Her tone sounded happy.
She understood how she felt. Finally, some action! "Yeah. Go for it!"
"Hold on to your butt!" Sunny clapped her hands together and rubbed her palms for a few seconds as she muttered under her breath. When she drew them apart, a three-foot baton of ironwood appeared suspended between them. Eile snatched it in her left hand and spun it around before getting a good grip. The tree it came from produced a tough, dense wood impregnated with iron, making it virtually as strong as a solid metal rod. Sunny repeated the gesture and produced a four-foot ironwood jo stick, which she grabbed and twirled as they pressed together back to back.
"You assholes wanna piece of us?" Eile shouted. "Well, come and get it!"
The two patrons charged her, swing their fists. She ducked and blocked with the baton, punching them with her free hand in the stomach and kicking them in the shins. They fell back at the unexpected assault, but Eye-patch pushed them aside as he charged between them and ran straight at her. She swung the baton and struck him across the face; he careened to one side into another table, and when its occupants grappled with him, he picked two up and threw them aside as the other two backed off. He turned and rushed at Eile again; she skipped aside and kicked him in the rear, sending him crashing into the wooden bar.
Taking a moment, she looked around. By that time, most of the patrons were fighting each other in a general brawl as they threw steins, bowls, and plates. The serving wenches ran for the safety of the bar, except
the buxom blonde, who stood in the thick of the riot and gave better than she got, her bulging breasts bouncing more energetically than normal. The others hid behind Edjertan, who stood like a rock promontory, the cleaver in his hand. He didn't even try to duck away from flying objects, though he turned his head to avoid being hit in the face. The rest of the customers sought sanctuary under booth tables and in corners, trying to stay out of the way. She spotted Sunny gamely battling Green-hair and two others with the jo, occasionally lashing out with a kick or shooting a magical bolt. Her buff skin seemed to glow with the excitement of combat as her hair billowed about her head and body like a living thing. Behind her stood a rose-haired girl dressed in an open-front leather-reinforced baroque gambeson with a lace bodice, defending her back with just her fists.
A burly man dressed in work clothes ran at her, holding a chair above his head. She feinted to one side and used the baton to trip his legs, sending him flying. A roar alerted her that Eye-patch was charging her again. She threw herself at him and slammed into his legs, knocking them out from under him and pitching him onto his face. She rolled and rose to one knee, ready for another attack, when she heard a noise behind her. Turning and rising to a crouch, she lifted the baton to strike, but saw a young platinum-haired girl dressed in blue and a boy with his face painted red cowering in a corner and clutching at each other in mortal dread.
The Adventure of a Typical Friday Night Page 4