Both hurried to comply as I untied my necktie and undid my collar, then rolled up my sleeves. Jade opened the bag and presented it to me. Reaching in, I removed a scalpel and then approached the body. I waited for Gerrarde to come around the other side before I made a Y-shaped incision in the abdomen. I expected to have to cut through a layer of connective tissue before I could pull the skin flaps away from the underlying muscles, but in fact the outer flesh lifted cleanly, with no resistance. The reason became self-evident:
"All the internal organs are missing."
From "Fun 'n' Games"
Sir Differel Van Helsing sat at her desk, filling out another in the endless series of reports she submitted to the Privy Council, when Aelfraed entered with a food tray. She glanced up at him and went back to writing, oblivious to everything except trying to explain a request for more personnel, so it took a few moments for the shilling to drop. When it did, she snapped her head up in wide, pop-eyed shock as her heart stammered.
He wore the costume of a BDSM submissive, what little of it there was.
"What the bloody hell is this?!"
He didn't bat an eye. "Your lunch, Madam." He placed the tray down in front of her, on top of her report, neither of which was appropriate.
She raised an eyebrow, exasperated. "No, I mean your attire."
"Ah, yes, of course, I image that would seem strange. The staff had a meeting this morning and we voted on a change of uniforms."
She frowned, irritated. "Without consulting me?" Then she realized how ridiculous it sounded to be upset about that rather than the result.
"My apologies, My Lady, but it was an emergency. We also came to the consensus that we were entitled to a daily orgy."
She just about had a heart attack. "Orgy?!"
"Yes, My Lady. In fact, today's has already started and I am anxious to get back. You're welcome to join us after you've finished eating. We won't stand on ceremony." And he took the top off the plate.
"Is this a bloody joke --" she began, then cut herself off with a hiss when she looked down, jumping back in her chair. The plate was filled with feces covered in vomit.
"My Holy God!"
"It's a new dish Madam Trumbo and I whipped up. We're eager to see what you think."
This is a bloody nightmare! she thought. "If you expect me to eat this, you're crackers!"
He actually looked disappointed. "I admit it's unusual." He took the fork and cut off one end. "Perhaps it could use a different preparation."
She watched in horrified fascination as he raised the utensil to his face, but just before he inserted it into his mouth, she leapt out of her chair and slapped it out of his hand.
"What the bloody hell's come over you, you git?!"
He managed to look appalled and outraged at the same time. "Really, Madam! You don't have to eat it, but your behavior is most uncalled for! Now, if you'll excuse me, my Mistresses will be getting impatient." And he stalked out of the room.
She felt too shocked to react. It made absolutely no sense. If she were not certain she was awake, she would have suspected she was dreaming. As it was, it seemed too surreal to comprehend.
Snap out of it, you bloody slag! Looking down, she felt her stomach churn with disgust at the contents of the plate, and she put the cover back on to keep it out of sight. She felt her gut quake with nausea, and she took a moment to light a cigarillo to calm it. She then headed out the door into the hall beyond.
It looked deserted. She could see all the way down to the security gate that closed off access from the central and eastern sections of the house, and there should have been two guards, one outside her office door and the other down by the gate. She walked towards the end where the hall connected with the transverse corridor that ran the length of that wing north to south, and paused to look down towards the offices. There should have been a third guard on duty there as well, and usually a few people were walking the halls or enjoying a smoke out in the west portico, but she saw no one.
Using her security key card, she unlocked the gate and headed up the family passage. She found no one outside in the north portico, but when she reached the door that led into the great hall, she thought she heard moaning and wailing, like a horde of Zombies was on the other side. She threw open the door and charged onto the dais at the west end, but stopped dead at what she saw.
Her entire staff--servants, analysts, and guards alike--lay naked on the floor in a gigantic undulating mass, engaging everyone they could reach in numerous sexual acts of the most disgusting nature imaginable. In the center, Aelfraed kneeled between Mrs. Widget and Madam Trumbo dressed in dominatrix outfits.
She stood paralyzed, wondering if the whole world had suddenly gone mad.
Six young maids cavorted with three footmen no more than a fathom from the foot of the dais. One of them happened to look up, and her face split into a huge grin.
"There she is!" That caught the attention of her five companions, but the footmen remained oblivious.
"Get her!" another shouted, and the six jumped up and charged the dais. The footmen remained where they were, and simply transferred their affections to new partners and each other.
Surprised, Differel could only take a couple of steps backwards before they swarmed over the edge and surrounded her, cutting off her escape. Giggling and shrieking, they grappled her.
"What? Stop! Take your hands off me!" But they ignored her as they began ripping off her clothes.
She struggled, but they were stronger than she expected, and they had the advantage as they bore her to the floor. "Get off of me, you filthy slags! Let me go! That's an order!"
They stripped her down to her underwear, but just as they tore away her bra and panties Vlad appeared behind her head. He roared, assuming a horrifying visage, and the maids fled screaming back to the mass of people in the main part of the hall.
He held out his hand; she took it and he pulled her up. She looked past him and saw the staff getting on their feet and advancing towards the dais.
"I think we should leave."
He turned to look where she stared. "I can stop them," he rumbled.
"I don't want you to hurt them!"
He turned to give her a mocking leer. "Then discretion would be the better part of valor."
"Cover me!" She ran for the door, and she heard her people give chase. She raced down the passage to the gate and jumped through, then turned and slammed it shut in the mob's face, locking it. Vlad flowed through the bars and the lead people fell against it, trying to push it open. Deciding not to wait to see what they did next, she sprinted for her office, closed the door, and locked it down as Vlad appeared through the wall.
"Get the other one!"
He closed and locked down the door to the meeting room as she went to the safe and ran the combination.
"Stand aside." He pulled the heavy door open with little effort. "Inside."
She ran in just as she heard banging on the outer doors. Vlad pushed the door closed and turned the lock, and she heard it engage.
Reaching above her, she turned on the light as the Master Vampire stepped through the door. "You are safe for the moment."
"Aelfraed knows the combination."
"It will take awhile to get the other doors open."
"He also knows about the access panel." In the back of the chamber lay a kick-away panel that opened onto a secret helical staircase.
"I will prevent anyone from getting in that way."
"No, I have a more important task for you. We need to know how far this has spread. Go to the groundskeeper's cottage. If he and his family are safe, evacuate them and have them raise the alarm. If they've succumb, go to the military compound. If you have to go further, keep going as far as you musr until you find normal people. Is that clear?"
"Crystal, My Master." And he disappeared in a cloud of shadow.
She didn't know how long she had before the others reached her, but she had to formulate a plan. The best place to head for would be the emerg
ency shelter in the basement, but she didn't want to become trapped with no escape. For that matter, hiding somewhere inside the house presented the same problem, but she wasn't sure she could get outside, and even if she did, where would she go? Hiding anywhere risked being trapped if her people found and surrounded her, but God alone knew what they would do to her if they caught her out in the open; simple rape might be a blessing. Even trying to reach her suite for some clothes would be too risky, despite the fact that she was practically naked.
"I wish I had sent Vlad there first," she muttered.
She realized the only way out of that mess would be to go on the offensive, to try to find out what had happened and correct it, but she had no clue where to even start.
"Quite a predicament, eh Cousin?"
Differel's heart seized and her gut lurched at the sound of the familiar voice. She spun around and watched the Princess in Orange walk through the safe door.
"You again!"
"I said I'd be back -- ooooooo! Lace garter belt and silk stockings! Me likey! Tres chic and very classy, yet still ready for action! Planning on participating in the orgy?" She shimmered, and her cape-coat and erotic Sailor Senshi dress disappeared, along with her underwear -- Assuming she even wears any -- leaving only her diadem, gloves, boots, and stockings held up by an orange garter belt.
"I think I'll join you!"
"Did you cause all this?"
The Princess flashed an exasperated look. "Well, duh! Still the same old silly willy
The Adventure of a Typical Friday Night Page 10