by Jennae Vale
“Ah, Jenna, I feel like a daft idjit every time I open me mouth. This place, this time is so verra beautiful! Words fail me.” Cormac threw his hands up in apparent exasperation at his own lack of words to express his thoughts.
“It is beautiful! I understand completely how you feel,” Jenna said. She removed one hand from the steering wheel and gently laid it on his arm.
“Aye, but no matter how beautiful, ‘tis not nearly as beautiful as Breaghacraig,” Cormac professed.
“Well, I guess I’m going to have to see that for myself someday,” Jenna conceded.
“Ye could see it with me sooner than someday, lass,” Cormac offered quietly.
“Cormac, let’s not go there, please,” Jenna said. She didn’t want to spoil the day and hoped to avoid this discussion for now.
“Jenna, ye’d like to see where I live, ye said so yerself. Why do ye nae come with me when I leave? It may be yer only chance to do so.”
“That may be true, but I’m not going with you when you leave. We’ll keep in touch and maybe in a month or so, I’ll come to Scotland and you can show me around.”
“‘Twill be too late. Ye must join me when I leave, or not at all.” Cormac looked utterly dejected by her refusal.
Jenna was starting to feel more like her prickly old self. How dare he tell her what she must do? “Cormac, we’ve been having a really nice time. Don’t ruin it now with all this talk about me going to Scotland! We hardly know one another, I’m certainly not up and leaving to travel to a foreign country with you without giving it some more thought!”
Cormac sat back in the car seat and harrumphed in annoyance, while Jenna removed her hand from his arm and drove on over the bridge in stony silence.
***
Cormac wasn’t quite sure how things had gone so terribly wrong in such a short time. He’d merely suggested that Jenna come with him, as she herself had said she would like to see Breaghacraig. Now she wasn’t speaking to him and he felt as if the wall he had worked so hard to demolish was building back up. He needed to do something, before he was back where he started with her.
“I’m sorry, Jenna. I didnae mean to upset ye. Yer right. We’ve been having a lovely time together. Can ye forgive me? I couldnae help meself. I’d be a fool not to want ye to come with me, but I willnae speak of it again. I can see that ye’ve made up yer mind on the subject.”
He sat perfectly still, awaiting her response, and was just about to give up when she looked over at him wearing the saddest expression he had ever seen. His heart hurt. Had he caused that pained expression? If anyone else had dared to cause Jenna to become so sad, Cormac knew he would turn into the caveman Jenna had spoken of, but it was he himself who was making Jenna so unhappy. He didn’t deserve her love. Perhaps ‘twas best he go home and forget about her.
“Cormac, of course, I forgive you. You have to understand why I can’t go with you, not right now. We’ve known each other for less than a week and even though we’ve grown close, it just wouldn’t be smart for me to drop everything and head off with you. I’ve learned some hard lessons recently and I need to be extra careful, especially with you. You do get that, don’t you?” Jenna asked.
“Aye, I do.” He didn’t really, but he was so relieved that she was speaking to him again, he had no intentions of rocking the boat.
“Okay, good,” Jenna said, sounding relieved. She pulled the car into a vacant parking space. “We’re at our first stop. This is Muir Woods.”
Cormac got out of the car and made his way around to help Jenna out, but she beat him to it. “No need to worry about me, Cormac, I can get out of the car on my own.”
“Of course ye can, lass.” Cormac felt a bit wounded by her reaction. He knew she could get out of the car on her own, but he wanted to do the courteous thing and assist her. He certainly had a lot to learn about women of this century. Jenna stood waiting for him with her hand outstretched. Cormac took it and they walked along the path that led through the trees. Cormac had never seen anything like this place, the size of the trees was impressive.
“This is a grove of Coastal Redwoods. They are between 400 and 800 years old and some of the trees are as tall as 250 feet. Amazing, huh?” Jenna, sounding like a tour guide, shared her knowledge of Muir Woods with Cormac, who craned his neck back as far as it could go, so that he could see to the very tops of the trees.
“These trees were here and growing in my time,” he said, feeling rather awestruck.
“Right,” Jenna rolled her eyes at him.
“I ken ye dinnae believe me, Jenna, but ‘tis true,” he announced quietly.
She didn’t respond, but instead stood with her hands on her hips and a perplexed expression on her face. Cormac thought it best to change the subject and began asking her questions about Muir Woods. “Muir, ‘tis a Scottish name, aye?” he asked.
“Yes, John Muir, the man these woods were named after, was a Scottish naturalist. He was born in Scotland and came to America when he was a child.”
“Is he still living?” Cormac asked innocently.
“You really need to stop this, Cormac! It’s starting to get old,” Jenna snapped.
“Stop what, lass?”
Jenna raised an eyebrow and looked very angry.
“I really dinnae ken if he is alive or dead,” Cormac commented quietly.
“He passed away a long time ago, Cormac. Look, can we set some ground rules for the rest of the day. I don’t believe you’re from the sixteenth century and I don’t believe a witch sent you to find me, so can you please stop this crazy game you’re playing.”
“As ye wish, lass, but ‘tis not a game.”
“Thank you.”
He took her hand and brought it to his lips. Jenna tipped her head and smiled sweetly. They continued walking among the giant trees. Cormac was a bit homesick and walking in the woods was soothing his heart. This was as close to home as he’d seen, since being here. He could imagine walking in the woods back home, holding Jenna’s hand and showing her his world. He had one day left to convince her and it wasn’t looking good. Jenna wouldnae even allow him to bring the subject up.
SIXTEEN
Battery Spencer was the best place to see the sunset, as far as Jenna was concerned. She guided the car to a parking spot and they both got out. Cormac leaned on the hood of the car while Jenna leaned back into him and waited for what turned out to be a kaleidoscope of colors - pink, orange, gold, purple. It was magnificent and it was even better watching it from the shelter of Cormac’s strong arms. Jenna was beginning to realize that their relationship was going to be very short lived. If she wanted it to continue, she was going to have to broach the subject of him staying. She’d do it tonight and hope she could convince him.
Cormac dipped his head and nuzzled her ear. “That was almost as beautiful as ye, Jenna.”
Jenna leaned into the nuzzle. “That’s sweet of you to say.”
“I wouldnae say it, if it werenae true.”
Jenna spun in his arms and wrapped hers around his neck. “You are quite the romantic, Cormac MacBayne.” Standing on tiptoe, she rubbed her nose on his and scooted a little closer into his strong embrace. There was a fluttering in her belly, as she thought of the previous night, which they’d spent wrapped around each other.
Cormac’s eyes twinkled when he looked into hers. “Where have ye gone to, love?”
“Nowhere, really,” she lied. “I was just thinking that we should go get dinner.”
“Dinner, aye?”
“Yes, dinner. You haven’t eaten since our late breakfast. You must be hungry.”
He seemed to think about that for a moment before he responded. “Aye, that I am.”
“Well, let’s go then.” Jenna pulled out of his embrace and felt a chill at the loss of his heat.
Cormac put his hand to the small of her back and gently guided her toward the driver’s door, which he opened before she could protest. She got in and got herself situated and Cormac closed the do
or and strode around to the passenger side. Jenna watched as he easily folded himself into the compact space beside her and gave her another breathtaking smile. She was so enthralled by him that she literally forgot to breathe for a minute. Getting herself under control once again, she started the car and headed off in the direction of Sausalito and her favorite waterfront restaurant.
“Hi Casey,” Jenna greeted a tall, slender brunette woman who was waiting for them, just inside the doorway of the little seafood restaurant that sat perched right on the water’s edge.
“Do you have a table for us?”
“Of course, right this way. How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.” Casey said, as she led them to the outdoor patio and a table that overlooked the San Francisco Bay. “Are you doing okay since the annulment?”
“I’m fine. I’m getting on with my life. I’m finally free of the anchor that would have been holding me down. I was lucky to get out when I did.”
Cormac pulled Jenna’s chair out for her and as she sat down, Casey handed them both menus. “I know I probably don’t have to ask you what you want, Jenna. The usual?”
“That would be great, Casey. What about you, Cormac? I’m having the seafood pasta. It’s to die for, right Casey?”
“It is the house specialty,” Casey happily agreed.
“Then that’s what I’ll have,” Cormac said.
“Drinks while you wait?” Casey asked.
“I’d like a Sunset Margarita, no salt, please,” Jenna said. She glanced at Cormac, who seemed a bit bemused by the drink menu. “He’ll have the same. And can we get an order of fried calamari, too?”
“Sure. I’ll put your order in and be right back with your drinks.” Casey confirmed, as she started back inside.
“I love this place. I’ve been coming here since I was a little kid. My best friend, Ashley’s parents used to bring all of us, including Dylan, for a special treat.” Jenna looked wistfully at Cormac who had a very strange expression on his face. He cleared his throat and took a huge gulp of water, avoiding Jenna’s gaze. “Is everything alright?” she asked.
“Aye. All is well, lass. Dinnae fash.”
Jenna persevered. “It’s just that you had a really strange expression on your face. Was it something I said?”
“Nae. I just had a tickle in me throat. ‘Tis all.”
Casey came back with their drinks. “Here you go. Enjoy.”
“Thanks, Casey.” Jenna smiled at the restaurant’s hostess, who was also serving as their waitress.
“Thank ye, lass,” Cormac offered, when Casey placed his drink in front of him.
“You’re welcome.” Casey turned and looked at Jenna, before she mouthed the words, “He’s hot!”
Jenna laughed and Cormac gave her a questioning look as Casey walked away.
“She thinks you’re hot,” Jenna said.
“Nae. I’m fine, lass. The weather is perfect.”
Jenna laughed again. “Not that kind of hot. She thinks you’re very handsome.”
“‘Hot’ means handsome?” Cormac questioned.
“Yes, except when it means hot,” Jenna was having fun messing with him, and she was amused that he was preening like a peacock at this news.
Jenna raised her glass in a toast. “To your hotness,” she giggled. They clinked glasses and took a sip.
“What’s in this drink, love?” he asked, studying the contents of the glass with interest.
“Tequila, triple sec, lime juice and the sunset part is provided by grenadine.”
“I’ve not had any of those things before. ‘Tis verra good.”
“Actually, you have. You tasted mine at the karaoke bar, remember? It didn’t have the grenadine, though.”
Their calamari arrived and Cormac examined it quite carefully, poking it with his fork as if he expected it to jump off the plate. “What is this calamari?” he asked.
“It’s squid. A little tiny octopus,” Jenna explained. When Cormac still looked puzzled, she spoke again. “Never had it before, huh?”
“Nae, I havnae.” He looked very uncertain, picking one up between his fingers.
“Here, dip it in the sauce.” Jenna showed him what she meant, dipping a piece of calamari in the sauce before she popped it in her mouth. “I like the tentacles the best,” she smiled.
“Tentacles?” Cormac asked, following her lead and indulging in his first calamari.
“The little squiggly things.” She picked one up and showed it to him. “What do you think? Do you love them?”
“Aye. They are verra good. The cook at Breaghacraig has never made anything such as this.”
“You’ve been missing out,” Jenna teased. Cormac continued devouring the calamari, much to Jenna’s delight. She was happy to share some new experiences with him - and even happier that he was enjoying it.
Their main course arrived and plates were set in front them, along with a basket of freshly baked bread for the table. Jenna once again observed Cormac looking totally confused by the food. He turned his attention to her and said, “I recognize the seafood, but what is this?” He picked up a strand of pasta.
“It’s pasta. Your cook doesn’t make this either, does she?” Jenna shook her head. “No, don’t bother to answer the question. I get it. This is all new to you. Let me show you how to eat it.” Jenna took her fork and spoon and showed Cormac how to twirl the pasta onto the fork. He gave it a try and failed miserably. “Keep trying. You’ll get the hang of it,” she giggled.
Determination was written all over Cormac’s face as he went to work mastering the pasta twirl. After a few tries, he was finally getting the pasta from the plate to his mouth without dropping it and he appeared to be enjoying it very much. As she ate, Jenna kept checking on Cormac to see if he needed any help, but based on how quickly the food disappeared from his plate, she didn’t think he was struggling. When she was full, she offered him the rest of hers and he gladly accepted. It vanished in a heartbeat.
Jenna paid the check and said goodbye to Casey as they left. “Thanks, Casey. Everything was great.”
“Hope to see you in here again soon,” Casey replied, as Jenna and Cormac made their way out the door.
“Let’s walk around a little and then stop for some ice cream or candy - or both,” Jenna smiled. She took Cormac’s arm and snuggled up close to him as they walked along the waterfront towards the more touristy shopping area. “It’s pretty busy tonight,” Jenna observed. Cormac didn’t seem to hear her; he was so busy trying to look around at everything at once. She pulled on his arm to gain his attention and he stopped walking and turned to her. Jenna took a deep breath before she spoke. “Cormac, what would you think about staying here with me?” she asked cautiously.
His expression dropped, and she saw the indelible sadness on his face. “Jenna, I cannae stay. I want to be with ye, but I dinnae belong here. I must return home to my family, I am needed there.” She knew he was speaking from the heart. It was obvious from his demeanor that he wanted to stay, but he simply couldn’t. Disappointment and heartbreak washed over her like the waves at Mavericks. “I’m so sorry, Jenna. I believe I have fallen in love with ye in this short time I’ve been given to spend here. Edna was right. Ye are the one for me, and I will spend the rest of me days regretting the loss of what could have been. I have asked you to come back with me, but ye willnae.”
Jenna wanted to cry on hearing that he’d fallen in love with her. Life was full of cruel surprises. Cormac arrived in her life in a less than conventional way and he had grown on her. At first she was snarky and rude to him, but he never let that stop him from wanting to be with her. Now, she was going to have to say goodbye to him, just when she was understanding that she loved him too. Could she just pick up and leave? No, of course not. What did she really know about him? When she thought about it, not much more than he had presented to her. She couldn’t go. She had to know him better before she could possibly make such a monumental decision, be sure she wasn’t goi
ng to regret it as she had with Jonathan.
“Jenna, look at me.” Cormac held her face in his hands. “Please, come with me.”
“Cormac, I don’t trust myself to make good choices when it comes to men. Past experience has shown me that I’m pretty bad at it. I know everything seems perfect right in this moment, but what about a week from now, or a year from now. I just can’t do it.” She felt tears pricking at her lashes and brushed them away before Cormac could see them.
Cormac gazed down into her eyes. “Have faith, love. All will be as it should be.”
Jenna rolled her eyes skyward. What was this New Age mumbo jumbo he was spouting? She knew better than to put her faith in love. It could really come back to bite you in the butt. They continued walking and found themselves in front of the ice cream shop. Putting aside their situation for the moment, they decided to share a cone, which meant that Cormac got most of it. Not that Jenna minded, she was feeling a bit out of sorts and didn’t have much of an appetite left, even for ice cream. Next stop was the candy shop. “Cormac, let’s go buy some candy, for you to take back for the little ones,” Jenna suggested.
“Jenna, I have no money to buy it and I cannae ask you to spend more money on me than ye already have.”
“I want to do it. You can tell them it’s a gift from me.”
Cormac pulled her close and placed a kiss on top of her head. “Ye are a sweet one. They’ll be verra happy.”
“Let’s go then,” Jenna smiled, trying to be as cheerful as possible, even though she was struggling internally.
The candy shop was full of families buying candy, which only saddened Jenna even more. She couldn’t help but remember her time spent here with the Moores. All these happy people made her wonder, if she would ever have a family herself. She found herself thinking about Cormac and what a great Dad he would be. The fantasy of happily-ever-after was calling to her. Mentally she shook her head, knowing she’d better not listen.