Dory stopped and turned. His ruddy face was bloated and he didn’t focus his half-lidded eyes. She wanted to strangle him and make him feel the pain stabbing in her heart. Storming toward him caused him to stagger back a step. She slammed her palms against his chest, felling him to the damp grass. “You will never have anything from me, old man. Selfish and stupid is all you are. Keep away from me and my husband. I would rather prostitute myself on the streets than see you get another penny. Thomas Wheel paid your stupid debt, drunken fool, but if it had been up to me, you would have gone to debtor’s prison. Keep your distance or I will see you burn in Hell.”
He stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed as if he’d never seen his own daughter before. “You have no right to talk to me that way. That man is nothing. No title and barely any property. His money means nothing in our circle.”
“You are not a man at all, while Thomas Wheel is the finest man I have ever known. Go back to your bottle and stay away from us.” Dory spun on her heels and climbed into the carriage. Thomas remained unconscious for the entire ride, but his chest rose and fell evenly. She rested his head in her lap and Daniel held the bloody jacket in place. He had to live. Everything she had done had been for her benefit. Somehow, she’d believed having her in his bed would be enough compensation. Had she even tried to be a good wife? No. It had all been her music, her pleasure, her desire to not marry Hartly. None of it had been for the man who sacrificed everything for honor.
The surgeon, Dr. Revel, waited in the foyer when they arrived home. Once they carried Thomas up to his room, the dour-faced man barred all but Daniel and a nurse from the room.
“Dory, come downstairs. We can do nothing standing in the hallway,” Sophia said.
“I am not leaving him.” She pushed through the door.
Daniel blocked her. “There is much blood, Dorothea. You should wait until we’ve cleaned him up.”
“He is my husband. I will stay.”
Shrugging, he stepped back. “Do not faint.”
She took a deep breath. Heeding the command, she rounded the bed. They’d cut away Thomas’s coat and blouse, exposing a nasty hole in his side.
“It’s a clean shot. The ball went right through. Lucky for him I will not need to dig around looking for lead. It was good work putting pressure on the wound, my lord, but he has still lost a lot of blood.”
Dory brushed the damp hair from his forehead. “Will he live?”
The nurse handed a threaded needle to Revel. “I cannot say. If he is strong and his blood not poisoned, his chances are quite good. I will stitch the holes, and then we have to wait and see.”
Kneeling at the edge of the bed, Dory prayed. She kept her eyes on the needle as it pulled through Thomas’s flesh. Her stomach churned and her head was woozy, but she refused to look away or give in to the fear. This was her doing. She was to blame. The least she could do for him was to endure the gore.
The nurse bandaged the wound with Crowly’s help and still Dory prayed to God to let him live.
Revel gave instructions to change the bandage and keep the wound clean. He left laudanum in case Thomas woke up in pain then closed his bag, bowed, and left.
“Dorothea, get off the floor before you become ill. How will you care for Tom if you are sick?” Daniel took her by the shoulders and lifted her into a chair near the bed.
“Thank you, Daniel.”
“Crowly, give us a few minutes. You and Nurse Eve can wait in the hallway.” Once they were alone Daniel leaned down so that his face was inches from hers. “I have always liked you, Dorothea. I will warn you now that if you do not eat and sleep, I will be back to see that you do. I will not have you doing what Sophia did when her father was ill.”
“I would never—”
He held up his hand, stopping her, but it was the stern lines around his mouth and eyes that chilled her. “I know you care for Tom, even if the two of you are too stupid to tell each other. It is obvious to all who know you. Take care of him, but do not neglect your own health.”
What did she care for her own health? Poor Tom could die and she was to blame.
Daniel pointed to the closed door. “Crowly is a devoted friend as well as his servant. He will let no harm come to Tom. Call on me if you require anything at all. I shall return tomorrow to check on you both.” He rose to his full height, looked at Thomas still unconscious in the bed, and left the room.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she leaned forward and took his limp hand in hers. “Wake up, Tom. Everything will be fine if you wake up and give me one of those smiles that always curled the girls’ toes.”
His eyelids fluttered. Perhaps he heard her.
Leaning her forehead on his hand she prayed he would wake and be well. She should have told him how much she cared for him but she hadn’t known herself until she saw him lying in the grass. In that instant, when she thought he was dead, things became clear.
Dory had little experience with love. Her parents had been difficult from the beginning, but her mother was still dear to her. She had been fond of her nanny and loved her brothers though they were rarely at home. However, none of those relationships and emotional attachments compared to the devastation that pierced her at the thought of never hearing Tom’s voice again or seeing the spark in his eyes when he listened to her play. The pain crippled her. Women spoke of a broken heart, but this went far deeper than her heart.
The door opened and closed several times, but Dory remained with her head down.
Someone lit the lantern.
“Madam, you must rest now. I will sit with him,” Nurse Eve said.
Crowly touched her shoulder. “He will be fine, madam. If anything changes I will send for you. You must rest now.”
Daniel’s scolding rolled through her head. She must take care of herself to take care of Thomas. It was dark outside. She’d not realized how long she sat praying at his side. “Yes. I will rest.”
Crowly helped her to the door where a maid waited.
Dory gazed back at Thomas’s pale face. Throat clogged with emotion, she left the sick room for the lady’s chamber and her own bed.
* * * *
Before Dory was fully awake, the cook sent a tray up filled with her favorite foods. The smell of yeasty rolls had her stomach rumbling because she’d starved herself the night before. She’d eaten the entire roll with jam before she could stop to breathe. If the maid hadn’t appeared so cross she might have run to Tom’s side, but she forced down a few bites of coddled eggs before washing and dressing.
Sweat beaded on Tom’s forehead and Nurse Eve placed a damp cloth there. “He has a fever. Could just be from the wound and loss of blood or might be his blood is poisoned. I have sent for Dr. Revel.”
Dory’s hopes of him sitting up smiling dashed, she approached and touched his cheek with the back of her hand. He was warm and clammy. “Go rest, Eve. I will sit with him until the doctor arrives.”
Nurse Eve nodded and handed the cool cloth to Dory. “Try to keep him cool. It may bring the fever down.”
Alone with Tom, she wet the cloth in a basin of water and wrung it out before placing it on his forehead and cheeks. His damp hair stuck to his skin and Dory brushed it away. “I know you must hate me now. I have brought you nothing but pain and humiliation. It was selfish of me to lure you into this marriage, Tom. I am sorry. I thought we would get along and I could play and compose. It never occurred to me my father would ruin us this way. I suppose it should have.”
He moaned and became restless. Then he stilled, pain etched on his face.
“It is all right, my love. You lay still and heal. I do not think I could bear it if you die. I will make this right. As soon as you are well, I shall make all of this right.”
Crowly arrived with Dr. Revel. Nurse Eve followed a few steps behind.
“Madam, let’s leave the doctor to his work. I need a word with
you if you don’t mind.” Crowly bowed and held the door.
Dory would return to hear what the doctor had to say, but she followed the butler from the room. “What is it, Crowly?”
“I think it would be best if we went to the master’s study, madam.” He lumbered down the steps.
Curious and confused, Dory followed him to the study. She turned and crossed her arms over her chest facing Crowly as he closed the door. “What is this all about?”
He shifted his gaze from side to side. “Mr. Wheel told me to wait until he was gone before I gave you a letter. I thought he was going on a trip. It didn’t occur to me that he planned to let that bastard kill him. I know he’s your father, madam, but his actions are unforgivable.”
She waved off the insult. “I tend to agree about my father, Crowly. What happened on the dueling field was not your fault.”
“No, madam, but I should have been with him. However, that is not what I wished to talk to you about.” He pulled an envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket.
“What is that?”
“It is the letter meant for you after the master’s death. I struggled all night over what to do with it and thought perhaps I should wait or burn it. I decided to give it to you now. Perhaps there is something in the writing that will help you or Mr. Wheel. Or maybe you’ll burn the thing. I leave that decision in your hands.” He bowed in his awkward way and exited the study.
The words “after the master’s death” played over and over in her head. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to destroy the letter. She could put it in the fire and no one would ever know what was inside. If only Thomas would wake up, he could tell her himself. Stop being a ninny. She pulled open the parchment filled with Tom’s elegant scrawl.
My Dearest Dory,
I am sorry to be writing this letter. I had very high hopes for our future. Even if it was only the music we had in common, I dearly loved listening to you play and learning from you. It would have been so nice to have a few children, teach them about music, and grow old watching them mature. I am afraid they would all have likely had red hair, but maybe we would have been blessed with one blond-haired little girl who could have stolen her father’s heart just as her mother did.
I have loved you for a long time, sweetheart. Since long before you proposed, which is why I initially refused your generous offer. How could I marry a woman who clearly had no affection for me when my heart longed for her in ways I could never say? I was a fool to agree, but our choices were limited. I do not regret my decision, though I am certain you regret yours.
Your father will likely arrive to reclaim you as his property and sell you to the highest bidder. I told you I would protect you and I intend to keep my word. You will find the direction to my solicitor. He has all the papers to make you a very rich woman. You will never have to depend on anyone for money. I would be grateful if you would afford a living for my mother, but I leave it entirely up to you. I have no doubt you will do what is right and fair.
You can find someone you love and marry in your own time or not at all. If I might be so bold, I recommend you remarry. You are too pure of heart to never share that gift with another. I know you think you are void of deep feelings, but no one could play as you do without great love bursting to come out. I hope you will find a good and honorable man with whom to share all your love. If I have one regret it was that I was not that man.
Be well, Sweet Dory. Be happy.
All My Love,
Thomas
Tears streamed down her face, wetting the page in great drops of misery, smudging some of the writing. She would free him if he lived. That much she could do for him. Thomas made every sacrifice and she none. If she had been a dutiful daughter, none of this would have happened. She would be married to a man she hated and Thomas would be living his carefree life and charming all the women at the balls.
She did not deserve him.
A knock at the door roused her from her dark thoughts. She wiped her face and placed the letter on the desk. “Come in.”
Dr. Revel ran his fingers through his shock of white hair. “I am afraid the news is not as good as I had hoped. An infection has taken hold. Being a young man in good health, I expected him to recover and wake up today. Instead he is in decline.”
It was nothing she couldn’t see for herself; still her gut knotted. “What can I do?”
He spoke slowly and with precision as if he thought out every word with great care. “All we can do is keep him comfortable. If he hadn’t lost so much blood, I would bleed the poison out of him, but I fear he could not survive a bleeding. It is up to him to fight for his life, madam.”
She stood and rounded the desk. The ache in her heart spread out until she wished to roll into a ball and have a proper wallow. There was no place for that. Tom needed her and she would not fail him again. “Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate your candor.”
Revel nodded. “Call on me if Mr. Wheel’s condition changes. I am at your service.”
Dory saw him to the foyer, where he bowed.
Crowly held the door while Revel exited.
As soon as the doctor was out of the house, Dory leaned against the baluster and prayed for strength. Gripping the hard wood, she hauled herself up the steps and to Thomas’s bedside.
She sent Nurse Eve away.
All day long, Dory cared for him. She only let Eve take over a few times while Dory ate. She stepped out of the room when Daniel came to visit. “How are you holding up, Dorothea?”
“I am fine.”
“There is no need to lie. Charley has a cold. That is why Sophia has not come today. She sent a note.” He handed her the folded paper.
“I am sure he will be better soon.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No. It is up to Tom to make a recovery. All we can do is keep him comfortable and wait.” She shocked herself with the steadiness of her voice. Inside, she screamed for someone to do something to make all of this a bad dream.
Daniel shook his head. His shoulders slouched and he didn’t look like the Earl of Marlton. “I will visit tomorrow, if that is acceptable.”
“Of course. Forgive me for not seeing you out. I would like to stay with Tom.” She left Daniel standing in the hallway. Crowly would see to him.
Tom tossed his head from side to side and sweat beaded on his forehead. He’d kicked off his blanket, exposing his bandaged side.
Dory rushed to the bedside and pressed his shoulder. “Don’t fuss so, Tom. You’ll rip your stitches. Then where will we be?”
He stilled at her touch.
“You know this was all foolishness. You should have called a halt to the madness. I thought you a much smarter man. How could you let my idiot father talk you into this? Now you must fight to come back, Tom. I will not have you dying, and leaving me a fortune is no answer to our problems. As kind as it was, it will not do.”
Chapter 15
Startled awake, Dory tossed off the bedding and grabbed her wrap. She rushed down the hall and into Tom’s rooms.
Nurse Eve, asleep in the window, never stirred.
Tom’s skin was pale as death. His breathing low and intermittent.
Taking his hand, Dory kissed his clammy skin. “I forbid you to die on me, Thomas Wheel. I love you and you must give me a chance to make up for my mistakes. If you die now, how shall I survive the guilt?”
She climbed into the bed and rested against his good side.
A low moan pushed past his lips. Did he know she was there?
She whispered in his ear. “I love you, Tom. I should have told you sooner but didn’t realize it myself. So sure I could never love anyone, I did not realize what we share is the best kind of love. A love that makes us equal and perfect together. In your letter, you wrote that you wanted children and I want to give you a house full of them. They will all
play and sing and have happy childhoods. They will not grow up like I did. Our children will know how much we love them. Our children will dote on their father. I cannot wait to go to the country and play in the fields. Is there a lake? I would like to teach them how to swim and we can all picnic at the edge of the water and have a lazy summer day. That would be lovely.”
His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm and the pain etched in the corners of his eyes eased.
“I love you, Tom. I shall love you until the end of time. Even if you put me aside, which you have every right to do after my behavior, I will still love you.”
* * * *
The light peeking through the blinds woke Dory. She pushed up from the mattress to get a better look at Tom’s face. Was his color better, or did she just wish it to be?
Nurse Eve stepped inside with a fresh pitcher of water for the basin. She spared Dory a smile.
Dory’s cheeks warmed with embarrassment. “I came in to check on him last night. I guess I fell asleep.”
“He must have not minded, madam. His fever is down this morning. It broke an hour ago. I thought I might bathe him and clean away all the sweat. Cooling him down might lower the fever even more.”
Dory crossed to the window and pulled the blinds back to reveal a sunny day. “Maybe we should leave these open. It might help him to know the sun is out and it’s a beautiful day.”
“As you wish, madam. I do not think it could hurt. I know I feel better with the sun shining in.” She poured the water in the basin and dropped a cloth in.
“Shall I send Crowly in to help you? Mr. Wheel is quite heavy.”
Eve smiled. “I can manage, madam. I have been doing this for a long time.”
“Of course you have, and you do a fine job. I cannot thank you enough.” Dory pulled her wrap closed.
Crowly knocked and stepped inside. In a rare show of emotion, his eyes were narrowed and his back stiff. He had his fists clenched as if he might be ready to fight someone. “Madam, Lord and Lady Castlereagh are downstairs. I have put them in the front parlor.”
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