Dangerous to Know & Love

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

Daniel was silent. Zef had always told him that he just dealt in some weed and coke. He didn’t know whether or not to believe Dickinson, but he really didn’t want to.

  “Come on, kid. You want that shit on the streets? I know you’re in school, trying to stay clean. It’s your brother who’s fucking things up for you.”

  “You don’t know anything,” said Daniel, hotly.

  Dickinson smiled. He could tell he had the boy rattled.

  “Do you know how crank works?” asked the detective. “It destroys dopamine receptors in your brain, so you can’t feel pleasure. Then there’s psychotic behavior, paranoia, hallucinations, death. But before that happens, the blood vessels constrict, it cuts off the steady flow of blood to all parts of the body. Do you know what that means? Your body doesn’t heal right. It starts with bad acne, sores, that kind of thing. Maybe you’ve heard of ‘meth mouth’? The mouth’s acids eat away at the tooth enamel, so your teeth rot and fall out. Nice. You want to be responsible for that?”

  Daniel closed his eyes, shutting out the words that made him want to vomit. He didn’t believe the shit that Dickinson was pissing in his ear, but he didn’t want to know any more either.

  He jumped when Dickinson slapped his hands down hard on the back of Daniel’s chair.

  “I want my fucking phone call!” snapped Daniel, whose patience was running pretty damn low.

  Detective Dickinson threw his hands in the air.

  “Fine, make your call.”

  “I want to send a text from my phone.”

  “No, you can use the phone out there.”

  Daniel began to panic. He’d have no way of knowing whether or not Zef had answered the phone. He didn’t even know if he’d still be at the house.

  Lisanne. He’d call Lis. She always answered his texts quickly. He prayed she’d take the call.

  Thank fuck he knew her number off by heart.

  He dialed and counted to ten into the receiver, hoping that she’d understand… understand that he had no clue if she was there listening to him, or if a machine was picking up the message or… God, he just hoped she wouldn’t hang up. He hoped she’d wait for him to leave a message.

  “Lis, it’s me. Daniel. I’m in a whole shitload of trouble. I got pulled over for speeding. I’m at the police station. Can you get a message to Zef for me, please, baby? His number is 912-555 0195. I’m sorry I got mad at you, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.”

  Then he hung up, not knowing if she’d heard him. He knew the smart thing to do would be to tell Dickinson that he couldn’t hear what the fuck he was saying. But he couldn’t bring himself to give the bastard the satisfaction.

  Dickinson continued to fire questions him, even though they weren’t answered. Concentrating on controlling his breathing, Daniel closed his eyes, willing the tension and anxiety away.

  Eventually Dickinson gave up and left him in the interrogation room ‘to think about it’.

  It was nearly 1 AM and Daniel had resigned himself to spending the night. He wondered if he’d gotten the wrong number for Lisanne, or maybe the message hadn’t recorded, or she hadn’t heard it. Maybe she was too angry with the way he’d treated her to care. He had no way of knowing.

  He spent a restless night by himself. At one point he was allowed a bathroom break and through the barred windows he could see that pale light was leaking into the gray sky, the blackness fading with the dawn.

  Sometime after 7 AM, Dickinson came back. He paced back and forth spewing out his questions. Daniel kept his eyes fixed on the table most of the time, but every now and then he’d glance up.

  After another hour, even the detective’s furious energy had waned, and he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

  “Fine. You’re free to go,” snarled Dickinson, at last. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again, little brother. It’s only a matter of time before you’re part of the family business – if you’re not already.”

  Daniel stood up shakily as he was led out of the room by Dickinson who watched with narrowed eyes.

  He collected his belongings, relieved that the assholes hadn’t arrested him.

  * * *

  Lisanne woke up with light leaking through the curtains above her bed. She rolled onto her side and grabbed her phone.

  “Holy shit!”

  She leapt up, vaguely aware of Kirsty’s sleepy grumbles from the other side of the room.

  “Kirsty! Get your ass out of bed! I put my phone on silent – we’ve slept right through. It’s nearly 8:30!”

  Hurriedly, Lisanne pulled on her robe, picked up her towel and caddy, and trotted to the bathroom.

  The water was cooler than usual, and she shivered under the puny flow. At least it had woken her up.

  Kirsty, however, had fallen back asleep.

  “Come on, lazybones. Rise and shine,” said Lisanne as she twitched Kirsty’s duvet.

  “Gerroff,” was the mumbled reply.

  Lisanne shrugged. They went through the same routine every day. If it wasn’t for Lisanne, Kirsty wouldn’t have made any of her morning classes.

  Lisanne pulled on jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, then turned her phone on. There was a missed call from a number she didn’t recognize, and one voice message.

  As she listened, all the color drained from her face. Her knees gave way and she collapsed onto the bed. Daniel had left the message last night.

  She played the message again and scrawled down Zef’s number. She had to call back four times before he picked up.

  When he heard who it was and why she’d called, he wasn’t happy. Which was putting it mildly. Especially when Lisanne insisted on coming with him, threatening to go directly to the police station if he didn’t pick her up.

  Zef was furious when they finally reached the police station.

  “Stay here!” he barked at Lisanne, who was sitting stiffly beside him.

  ‘Furious’ was probably the understatement of the year. Rage poured from him in heated pulses, his face was flushed and his teeth were clenched as he saw Daniel being led out by one of the police officers.

  He looked at Zef with a guilty expression as he put his wallet away.

  “Are you a fucking idiot?” Zef hissed at Daniel. “Because you’re fucking acting like one! I do all this shit so you can stay clean, then you go and fuck it up like this.”

  “I’m sorry, man. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “That is stating the really fucking obvious.”

  He grabbed Daniel’s arm and dragged him outside, where the too interested cops couldn’t see. Then he pushed him up against the wall, his hands bunched around the collar of Daniel’s t-shirt.

  “Get off!”

  “Not until I’ve knocked some fucking sense into you!” snarled his brother.

  Daniel shoved him hard and Zef took a pace backward, swinging a fist at the same time. It caught Daniel on the cheek and he fell sideways, landing awkwardly on one knee.

  Pain shot through him and he was glad he hadn’t had his tongue between his teeth, or he’d have bitten the damn thing clean off.

  Lisanne leapt out of the car the moment Zef had pushed Daniel against the wall. She was too late to stop their fight, but she was damn sure she wouldn’t let it go any further. She tried to help Daniel up as Zef stood behind her, panting hard.

  Daniel felt hands on his shoulder again and he automatically pushed them off.

  Lisanne tried to soothe him.

  “It’s me, Daniel. It’s me.”

  He looked up and saw her face creased with concern.

  “Baby doll!” he gasped, leaning his head against her body as her arms wrapped around him.

  “Fuck, I’m sorry, bro!” said Zef.

  Lisanne turned on him, violently.

  “Don’t you touch him! Leave him alone!”

  She helped Daniel stand, holding his arm as he staggered slightly.

  “Just get in the damn car,” said Zef, stiffly. “I’ll take you to get Sirona – if she’s still there.”

&n
bsp; “Take Lis home first,” Daniel muttered.

  Zef looked as if he wanted to argue, but held back whatever he was going to say.

  The drive was silent, violence simmering between the two brothers. Lisanne could see Zef glancing in the rearview mirror, his face dark and hard. Beside her, Daniel was leaning back with his eyes closed, a red mark blossoming on his cheek.

  When they reached the dorm rooms, Lisanne gently stroked Daniel’s face to make him open his eyes.

  “We’re here,” she said, softly. “Do you want to come in? Kirsty could drive you home later.”

  Zef started to argue, but Daniel shot his brother a look.

  “Yeah, I’d like that, Lis. Sirona can wait.”

  He climbed out of the car awkwardly, rubbing his sore knee. With a final, furious look, Zef drove off, tires screeching, leaving the pungent smell of burning rubber hanging in the air with his disapproval.

  Lisanne was worried about Daniel. He was quiet, and the fire that she so loved seemed to have dimmed.

  He dragged himself up the stairs to her dorm room, his shoulders slumped and his head hanging down. Maybe it was just tiredness, Lisanne told herself. He couldn’t have slept much, being in a police station all night. She felt guilty again – while she’d been snuggled up in her own bed, he was dealing with God knows what.

  She pushed open the door, relieved that Kirsty was out at morning classes. Tugging his hand, she led Daniel to her bed and pushed him gently, telling him to sit.

  “I’ll make you a coffee,” she said, quietly.

  He nodded but didn’t speak, instead unbuckling his boots and lying back against the pillows. By the time Lisanne had made the coffee, he was fast asleep, curled up on his side.

  Carefully, she eased down onto the bed next to him, and picked up her book to read, occasionally sipping her coffee. Daniel sighed heavily and wrapped his left arm across her waist, pushing his head into her hip.

  In silence, studying his face, Lisanne could see the tiredness, with dark rings visible under his eyes. His cheeks were covered in stubble and she blushed, wondering how his light scruff would feel if they kissed again.

  She crossed her legs at the ankle and drank some more coffee, willing her body to relax. Today she seemed to be permanently turned on – her body tuned to Daniel, ready for sex.

  She could hardly believe it. She didn’t know it was possible to feel like that. She didn’t know that girls could be as horny as guys. But that was the truth.

  And then she felt selfish for having those thoughts, when he’d been having such a horrible time. Right now, he needed her friendship. She frowned, wondering if that was all he’d ever want from her. But yesterday… that had gone far beyond friendship.

  She looked down at him again. His soft lips were parted, his bruised cheek slightly swollen. Lisanne kicked herself for not having gotten him some ice. Not that she’d have had time: he’d fallen asleep right away. His eyes trembled slightly under the closed lids and she wondered what he was dreaming about. The long, dark lashes were fanned out across his cheeks and, if it hadn’t been for his stubble, he’d have looked much younger.

  Lisanne sighed and tried to turn her attention back to her book. Daniel didn’t move except to hook his left leg over hers, so for nearly two hours, she read, with Daniel curled around her. She loved the fact that in his sleep he seemed to crave her. She wished it was the same when he was awake.

  Suddenly the door flew open, making Lisanne jump. Kirsty burst in with Shawna tagging along behind her.

  “Oh, God! Sorry!” said Kirsty, coming to an abrupt halt, her eyes wide, fixed on Daniel.

  Shawna’s face resembled someone who’d sucked up a quart of lemon juice.

  Daniel shifted sleepily and then sat up, yawning.

  “Oh shit, sorry, baby doll. Did I fall asleep? What time is it?”

  “Three o’clock,” said Lisanne.

  “Crap. Sirona! I should get going,” he grumbled to himself. “Hey, Kirsty.”

  Kirsty waved, while Shawna crooned, “Hi Daniel,” in a sickly singsong voice.

  Of course, her tone was completely lost on him, even if her flirty look wasn’t.

  “Shawna,” he said, with a curt nod.

  Lisanne was too distracted to care that Shawna was being her usual bitchy self. Her main concern was him.

  “Should I make you another coffee? Yours is cold now.”

  He shook his head, mumbling about business to take care of. Lisanne grimaced, wondering what that might entail. And he definitely needed a ride.

  “Kirsty, could you drive Daniel?”

  “What happened to your motorcycle?” asked Shawna, rudely interrupting Kirsty’s answer.

  Nosy bitch, thought Lisanne.

  “Sure, no problem,” said Kirsty, reaching for her keys.

  That was one of the things that Lisanne had come to love about Kirsty. She acted like a cheerleader on helium half the time, but when she could see something was important, she didn’t hesitate to help.

  But Daniel rubbed his eyes and yawned again.

  “Nah. S’okay, thanks. I’ve got some things to take care of,” he repeated, stretching his arms above his head, and innocently flexing his muscles in a way that made Shawna drool openly. “I’ll text Roy. He’ll give me a ride.”

  He swung his legs over the bed and started to pull on his boots. Lisanne felt the loss of him next to her immediately.

  Before he left, he smiled at her and kissed her hair.

  “I’ll see you in class tomorrow, okay. Text me later?”

  “Sure,” she said, trying to smile.

  He winked, nodded at Kirsty, and completely ignored Shawna, who didn’t even say goodbye but turned and trotted after him, firing questions to his back.

  As soon as they’d gone, Kirsty swept into interrogation mode.

  “Oh my God! Are you guys fucking? That was so sweet the way he was curled up around you. Wow! Daniel Colton! Is he really good in bed? On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate him?”

  Lisanne flushed red and tried to laugh it off.

  “We’re just friends, Kirsty.”

  “Bullshit! I saw you, Lis. He’s totally into you. And it’s obvious how you feel about him. Wow! Well, now you can give me the details.”

  Lisanne shook her head.

  “I have a violin lesson to get to. I’ll see you later.”

  Kirsty pouted. “Fine! But you’re not getting off the hook that easily, missy. I want to know everything. By the way, why did he need a ride?”

  “Oh,” said Lisanne, feeling uneasy. “He, um, he had bike trouble.”

  Which wasn’t a complete lie.

  She grabbed her violin case and her shoulder bag with her music scores, and hurried out of the room.

  Her concentration had gone to hell and Professor Crawford raised his eyebrows in surprise. All Lisanne could do was apologize again, and promise to try harder next week.

  It didn’t help that she’d heard a text message pop up on her cellphone, and she was burning with curiosity to see if it was from Daniel.

  As soon as her lesson was finished, before Professor Crawford had even closed the door behind him, Lisanne dove into her bag to find her phone.

  The text had been from Daniel.

  * Thanx *

  She looked at the short message and felt tears in her eyes. How dumb was that? He’d sent her a text. He’d thanked her – what was the damn drama?

  Irritated for being so pathetic, she dragged her weary ass back to the dorm room. Unfortunately, Kirsty was still there, and attacked her the minute she walked in the door.

  “Spill! What’s with you and Daniel? Are you guys dating?” Then she looked at Lisanne more closely. “Because if you are, you look kind of miserable.”

  Lisanne sighed. “It’s complicated.”

  “Of course it is,” said Kirsty, sympathetically. “He’s a guy – their brains are wired differently. Well, most guys’ brains are wired to their dicks, so that’s pretty s
traightforward.”

  Lisanne tried to laugh, but her heart wasn’t in it.

  “I don’t really know what we are,” she said, honestly. “We’re friends, I know that. And sometimes I think we’re more than that, but… I just don’t know.”

  Kirsty nodded. “I get it. Mixed messages, huh? You know I’m not going to tell anyone anything, right, Lis? I mean, not even Shawna. I know she acts like we’re BFFs, but I’m not dumb. She’s kind of a bitch to you. But that’s because she’s jealous. She’d love to be getting some Daniel Colton shaped action. She doesn’t get what he sees in you – oh, I don’t mean it like that,” she said, hastily. “It’s just you don’t act all flirty and… you know what I mean.”

  “Thanks, Kirsty… I think. I just…” Lisanne sighed again, having no clue how to finish the sentence, let alone explain her feelings to Kirsty.

  “Okay, well let’s do the checklist.”

  Lisanne couldn’t help laughing at that: Kirsty and her damn checklists.

  “Has he kissed you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tongues?”

  “Um, yes. Once.”

  “Just once? When was that?”

  Lisanne blushed. “Yesterday.”

  Kirsty nodded encouragingly. “Well, that’s good.”

  Good. Amazing. Sensational. Out of this world.

  “It is?”

  “Sure! You guys have been friends since the start of the semester – sort of. So if you’ve only just done tongues, that’s progress.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “Has he taken you on a date?”

  That was a tough one. They had been out together, but neither of them had ever called it a date.

  “Um, no, yes, maybe. I’m not sure.”

  “Oh,” said Kirsty, in a way that indicated this wasn’t good.

  “Oh?”

  “Honey, if you’re not sure it was a date, then it wasn’t. A guy has to ask you on a date for it to be a date. It’s different from just hanging out together.”

  Lisanne sighed. That sounded logical.

  Kirsty continued.

  “So, when you kissed, did ya do anything else?”

  Lisanne shifted uncomfortably. “Like what?”

  Kirsty rolled her eyes. “Like, did he feel you up at all?”

  Lisanne’s face flushed, thinking of the awesome orgasm that Daniel had given her.