Dangerous to Know & Love
Page 33
Daniel twitched a shoulder.
“I wanted to be with her.”
“So why are you thinking of leaving?”
Daniel’s eyes flicked toward Ernie.
“You heard?”
“Yes.”
“So you know why.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
Daniel’s hands automatically reached for his cigarettes to relieve the stress, then realized that he wasn’t going to be allowed to smoke. At least Ernie didn’t look mad.
“It’s hard,” he muttered, his hands stabbing the air to express the futility of the situation. “I can only concentrate on one person at a time. You don’t know what it’s like when the conversation goes around the table and everyone laughs, and you’re the sad fucker who has no clue what’s going on. Or someone asks a question, and everyone’s staring, waiting for you to answer. I’ll look like a fucking idiot.”
He stood up and started pacing.
Ernie waited patiently for him to calm down enough to look at him.
“Son, if that’s the worst that can happen, then I’m really not seeing the problem.”
Daniel stared at him.
“I just don’t do this shit!” he shouted, frustrated that he couldn’t make Ernie understand. “It’s really tiring. Even being with people I know, I have to watch all the time to see what they’re saying, I have to guess half of it. People get bent out of shape because they’re being all nice and shit, and I just smile and nod because I haven’t got what they’ve said. And with new people, it’s so much fucking harder. I just…” his words petered out. “And because I can’t stand people looking at me the way you’re looking at me now – like I’m some puppy that’s been whipped.”
Ernie grimaced, acknowledging the truth of what Daniel was saying. He had been pitying him.
Daniel took a deep breath. “And I’m here because… Lisanne makes me feel like I’m not alone.
Ernie’s face was a confused mixture of pride in his daughter, and concern that the two of them were even closer than he’d realized.
“Look, Daniel, I won’t pretend that I know what you’ve been through in the last few years, but you’ve done well: you’ve stayed in school, you’re going to college – you’re moving your life forward. And we’ve all done or said foolish things in public, but in the grand scheme of things, a meal with our family isn’t a big deal.”
“It’s every fucking time,” snarled Daniel. “They’ll all wonder what the fuck she’s doing with me.”
He faced the wall, resting his weight on his hands, and leaned his forehead against it. Without warning, he slammed his head hard.
Ernie leapt up and grabbed his arm.
“Hey! That won’t help. Sit down, Daniel. Come on.”
Daniel shook him off. “I’ve gotta get out of here.”
Ernie tried again. “Just sit for a minute – if you still want to go, I won’t stop you.”
Daniel eyed him warily.
“My dad and Grandma Olsen already know. Harry knows and has obviously taken quite a liking to you. Lisanne’s mother and I know, of course. We’ll all help you. You’re a guest in our home, Daniel, and that matters to me. I’m not happy about… some aspects of my daughter’s relationship with you, but I can see how much she cares for you. And I can see you care for her, as well.”
He paused, examining Daniel’s face.
“Look, I know we haven’t gotten off to the best start and I’ve said and done some things that I’m not very proud of – and my wife is giving me hell for it – but I’d like you to stay, too. Lisanne wants you to be with her, with her family at Thanksgiving. Will you do it for her?”
Daniel took a deep breath and nodded slowly.
“Good man,” said Ernie. “Come and join the family – Lisanne will be out there building up a head of steam if I know my daughter.”
Daniel attempted a smile and Ernie winked at him.
He followed Ernie out of the room, and saw Lisanne’s anxious face peering up from the bottom of the stairs.
“Daniel is going to stay,” replied Ernie to Lisanne’s unspoken question.
Considerately, he left them alone together.
Daniel stared at Lisanne’s face, full of love and concern, and felt like shit for making her look so sad.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded slowly.
“Yeah.”
She laid her head against his chest and his arms circled her small shoulders. They stood together in silence for a long, peaceful minute.
A knock at the front door had Lisanne tugging on Daniel’s arm.
“Let’s go into the backyard – you can have a cigarette.”
He smiled crookedly.
“I thought you hated smoking.”
“I do, but right now you need to relax more than you need me bitching at you – although I can multitask – I am a woman.”
He smiled softly. “Yeah, you are,” and leaned down to kiss her. “Come on, woman – I need a smoke.”
They sat on the porch, while Daniel sucked hard on his cigarette, clinging to it with the fervent desperation of a condemned man. But it couldn’t save him from Lisanne’s aunt who came hurrying out, intrigued to meet Lisanne’s first ever boyfriend.
It would be fair to say that subtlety didn’t run in the Olsen side of Lisanne’s family.
“Oh my goodness!” shrieked Aunt Jean. “Is this him?”
Lisanne tapped Daniel’s arm and he looked over his shoulder. He stood up, tossing the stub into an empty flowerpot.
“Hi Aunty Jean,” said Lisanne, doing her best to fake a sincere smile, “this is Daniel. Daniel, my Aunty Jean – mom’s older sister.”
Daniel held out his hand but Jean enveloped him in a bone cracking hug.
“Oh Lisanne! Less of the ‘older’! Everyone says I look years younger than Monica. But, my! However did a girl as plain as you land such a handsome boy?”
Lisanne shriveled and Daniel looked at her quizzically, not having heard the unpleasant remark.
Jean was followed by her eldest daughter Ashley who, thankfully, had inherited calm genes from her father. She greeted Daniel more formally and smiled, then yelled at two kids of seven and nine who came barreling onto the porch.
“And those two monsters are Ryan and Morgan. Don’t let them pester you to play football with them. They think every guy they see wants to.”
Daniel smiled. “I don’t mind. I like kids.”
Ashley raised her eyebrows and looked at Lisanne. “Hang onto this one, honey, he’s a keeper – if he means what he says.”
Daniel laughed at Lisanne’s blush.
Ashley was right about her boys. They ambushed Daniel immediately, and soon he was throwing balls for them to run after and catch.
Ashley’s two eldest girls, Kelly and Lacey, made their appearance. They were only a few years younger than Lisanne and determined to be bored with, and superior to, everything they saw. Lisanne didn’t have much in common with them – she wore her heart on her sleeve and always had done.
But their eyes brightened when they saw Daniel.
“No way!” hissed Kelly. “No way he’s your date, Lisanne. He’s like, hot!”
“That’s Daniel,” Lisanne said coolly. “My boyfriend. We go to school together.”
Kelly raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows at Lisanne’s tone, then rudely proceeded to whisper to her sister.
Lisanne ignored them – something she’d been doing for years.
Three more boys ran out into the yard – her Uncle Malcolm’s kids, Kellan, Marty and Joseph. They headed straight for the football action. Harry arrived on the scene, muttering about it being a dumb game, but he joined in anyway.
Ernie followed, looking relax, and sat down on the porch with a beer in his hand. Behind him was a tall, bearded man – his younger brother Malcolm – similarly accessorized.
“Think I’ll go play some ball,” said Malcolm, after watching for a while.
He ambled down the steps into the yard and joined in, which evened out the numbers and upped the ante as far as the older kids were concerned.
Ernie watched the impromptu game with a smile.
“He’s got a good arm,” he said, gesturing in Daniel’s direction.
“He was his school’s quarterback,” Lisanne said proudly.
“Really?” said Ernie, sounding impressed. “But he didn’t try out for the college team?”
Lisanne rolled her eyes at her father, even though a few weeks ago she’d asked exactly the same question.
“Dad, you really want me to answer that?”
Ernie looked embarrassed. “Of course. Right.”
To Lisanne’s surprise, Daniel dropped out of the game after just a few more minutes, unmoved by the shouts of disappointment that he couldn’t hear. He sat on the porch with her, looking rattled.
“What’s the matter?” she said, quietly.
Daniel jerked his head at Uncle Malcolm.
“I can’t read him.”
“What?”
“I can’t lip read him, Lis. He’s got a fucking beard. I can’t see his mouth for all the fucking fur!”
“Oh,” she said, helplessly. “Oh, okay. Do you want me to say something to him?”
Daniel shook his head with an irritated gesture.
“Well, let’s go see if mom needs any help.”
He stood up immediately and pulled Lisanne to her feet.
In the kitchen, Monica was looking harassed as her own mother followed her around, offering the kind of unwanted advice that could be classified as criticism, at every step.
“Those potatoes will boil dry like that, Monica. Did you remember to salt them? The turkey won’t be ready in time unless you turn up the heat – you don’t want it to be soggy and half raw like it was last year.”
Monica fumed silently.
“You really don’t deal with people well, do you, Mon?”
“That’s because you’re so critical!”
“Critical? Me? No I’m not critical. I could be and I could constantly tell you what you should do with your life, but you’re lucky I’m not like my friends with their children – I let you live your own life.” She took a breath. “And I really think you should turn the heat up on the stove.”
“It’s all fine, mom,” Monica snapped.
“Well, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, didn’t they?” She turned her attention to Daniel. “I do like a man in an ironed shirt. Now why don’t you take out that silly ring you’ve got in your eyebrow? Here, I’ll do it for you.”
“Grandma!” said Lisanne, sharply. “He’s fine – leave him alone.”
Daniel smirked and leaned down to whisper in Lisanne’s ear. “Should I show her my other rings?”
She dragged him out of the kitchen, knowing full well he’d be prepared to do exactly that if challenged.
Pops was sitting in the TV den watching the news.
“Happy Thanksgiving. You two hiding out already?” he said.
“Something like that,” said Lisanne with a sigh.
“Huh, me, too,” said the old man, then glanced over at Daniel. “Bet you’re wondering why you signed up for this, aren’t you, son?”
Daniel smiled, collapsing onto a sofa and pulling Lisanne to his lap. “Nope, not really,” he said.
Pops laughed. “Good for you.”
Lisanne snuggled into him, surprised that she didn’t feel embarrassed to show Daniel affection in front of Pops.
Lunch was loud and chaotic. The under 12s ate outside, running in and out with plates of food, leaving a trail of crumbs behind them. Ernie and Malcolm were becoming increasingly convivial as the beer continued to flow. Lisanne snagged a couple of cans for Daniel and shielded him as much as she could from Grandma Olsen and Aunt Jean.
Grandma Olsen had entertained the table with a thorough, if highly imaginative description of Daniel’s tattoos, ending in a request that he take off his shirt to show everyone. Monica vetoed that suggestion and began an interrogation of her own about how much wine her mother had drunk. Harry snickered until Monica sent him to refresh the water jugs.
Kelly and Lacey had begun a coordinated campaign of flirtation with Daniel, who remained patient and stoic in the face of their increasingly lubricious display.
Then Ashley noticed Lisanne’s locket.
“That’s pretty, Lis. Where’d you get that from?”
Lisanne’s hand automatically rose to her throat as half the table stared at her.
“It was a Thanksgiving gift from Daniel.”
“Wow!” said Kelly. “Is it real gold?”
Lisanne looked at Daniel for confirmation, and he nodded.
“That’s very sweet of you, Daniel,” said Monica, sounding rather severe, “but a boy at college shouldn’t be spending his money on expensive jewelry like that.”
Daniel looked annoyed but didn’t say anything.
Then Grandma Olsen stuck in her two pennies worth. “In my day, a young man wouldn’t waste his money unless he was serious about a girl.”
Lisanne winced.
“You shouldn’t have accepted such an expensive gift, Lisanne,” said Ernie, frowning at his daughter.
Daniel reached his limit. “I didn’t spend anything,” he said, quietly but firmly. “It was my mom’s.”
There was a lull in the conversation and all eyes were fixed on Daniel. Kelly and Lacey almost swooned.
Lisanne took Daniel’s hand. “Cigarette break?”
He nodded stiffly and followed her outside.
“Still glad you came?” she asked anxiously.
He ran his hands through his hair before smiling at her and lighting a cigarette.
“I might need some more awesome car sex to make up for it.”
“Maybe you should get a car.”
“Nah. Sirona would be jealous. You know what females are like.”
“Finally, something Sirona and I have in common,” smiled Lisanne. “Other than you, of course.”
Then she heard her name being called.
“Ugh, I have to go,” she sighed. “It’s a family tradition. You stay here and finish your smoke. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Lisanne left him sitting outside as she ventured back to the living room.
“Where’s Daniel?” whispered her mom.
“Halfway to Texas if he’s got any sense,” snapped Lisanne.
Monica looked embarrassed. “Yes, that must have been quite an ordeal. I hope you explained to him about grandma.”
“Not just that – you and dad getting on his case as well.”
“If only you’d told us about the necklace, honey, we wouldn’t have said anything.”
“I was going to tell you, mom. I just wanted to have it myself for a while, okay?”
Her mom didn’t seem to know what to do with that answer.
“Well, grandma and Pops have been asking for your party piece,” she said. “Better get it over and done with.”
Ever since she’d been a little girl, Lisanne had sung for her family. It had become a Thanksgiving tradition. It was always the same, the Skye Boat Song, to celebrate, so Pops said, their Scottish roots.
Kelly and Lacey acted bored, and were sitting huddled together looking for all the world like they just needed a cauldron to complete the picture.
Grandma was sitting up expectantly, a little lopsided due to the industrial quantities of wine that had disappeared down her throat over the last two hours.
Aunty Jean was already looking emotional, even though she wasn’t a Maclaine, and Ashley was sitting calmly, with an encouraging expression.
Lisanne stood next to her father, who put his arm around her waist.
Speed bonny boat, like a bird on a wing
Onward! the sailors cry.
Carry the lad that’s born to be King
Over the sea to Skye.
“Oh, it’s so lovely,” barked Grandma Olsen, loudly.
Thunderclaps rend the air;
Baffled, our foes stand by the shore,
Follow they will not dare.
Lisanne was unaware that Daniel was standing nearby, watching her intently.
Though the waves leap, soft shall ye sleep,
Ocean’s a royal bed.
Rocked in the deep, Flora will keep
Watch by your weary head.
“Have you ever heard anything so lovely, Daniel?” asked Ashley, meaning to be kind.
“No,” he said tightly.
“You must be so proud of her.”
He nodded, but didn’t speak. Ashley looked at him oddly, but didn’t say anything more.
After she’d finished singing, Lisanne couldn’t help noticing that Daniel was unnaturally quiet. He seemed more like the distant, arrogant guy she’d first met, and nothing like the playful, adorable boyfriend she’d fallen in love with.
He deflected all attempts at conversation, and wouldn’t say anything to her except that he was ‘fine’. In the end, he’d disappeared up to Harry’s room and re-emerged wearing his oil stained t-shirt, saying he had work to do on Sirona before they headed back in the morning. She watched him crouched down next to his bike, quiet, absorbed, alone.
“Just leave him be,” said Pops. “It’s been a lot for him to take in the last few days. I love your mom and dad, but they drive me crazy sometimes – and they’re my family. It’s even harder for your young man, what with having lost his own parents. I’m pretty certain he’s done his share of biting back the truth this holiday. Let him have his time alone – he’ll be fine.”
Lisanne wasn’t so sure. Up until that moment, she’d felt like it was the two of them against everyone, against the world. Suddenly, she was on the outside. It was a cold place to be.
It was well into the evening when everyone finally started to leave. Daniel avoided that drama fest by taking Sirona ‘for a test drive’. When he returned, over an hour later, it was just the Maclaines and Pops left. Grandma Olsen was spreading her affection between her children, and now it was Jean’s turn. The house was considerably quieter.
Lisanne realized that Daniel must have retrieved the bottle of Jack from her mom’s car, although she hadn’t seen him do it. She could smell the whiskey on his breath when he kissed her goodnight.