Dangerous to Know & Love

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  Monica and Ernie seemed surprised that he was going so soon, and Harry shot his sister angry looks, blaming her that he and Daniel hadn’t gotten their day at the arcade.

  Daniel was glad Lisanne hadn’t mentioned that he was looking for an apartment – he didn’t need an inquisition on his motives.

  Lisanne drove him to the bus station, and they spent their last few minutes with their bodies pressed together, possessed of a desperate need to touch that surprised them both.

  Finally, the bus’s departure was announced and Daniel made his way to the back seat, his chest feeling oddly constricted as he waved goodbye to Lisanne, who looked very young and very small as she raised one hand.

  As the bus departed into the city traffic, Lisanne let the tears fall. She felt certain it was her fault that he’d left early, and cursed her hormones for yelling at him for no reason.

  When the pointlessness of staring after the vanished bus occurred to her, she dragged herself back to the car and sent him a text.

  * L: Miss you already.

  Can’t wait for New Years. LA xx *

  But the only reply she got was a winking smiley.

  Chapter 23

  Lisanne was miserable, but there was one person who appeared to be having a worse Christmas.

  Rodney sent a text as she was driving home, begging her to meet him.

  She pulled up outside the same coffee shop they’d patronized two happier, less complicated days earlier.

  Rodney was already waiting, his face tense.

  “Thank God you’re here,” he said, sweeping her into a tight hug. “Where’s Daniel?”

  Lisanne bit her lip. “He had to get back.”

  Rodney looked surprised.

  “How come?”

  “Well, he said it was because he had to find a place to live…”

  “And you don’t think that was true?”

  Lisanne shrugged. “We had a stupid, horrible fight – it was all my fault. I was such a bitch. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to get away from me.”

  Rodney squeezed her hand. “No way. The guy’s nuts about you.”

  Lisanne looked up hopefully. “You think?”

  “Jeez,” said Rodney, “don’t you talk to each other?”

  “Oh, that’s rich, coming from you, Mr. I’ve been gay for years and never told my best friend!”

  “Touché,” grimaced Rodney.

  “Anyway, how’d it go with your folks?”

  “Oh, just great,” said Rodney, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “Mom burst into tears and dad started praying. And that was when I told them I was dropping out of college.”

  “Ouch!”

  “Yeah, and then I told them I was gay.” Rodney took a shaky breath. “Mom just cried some more and dad didn’t know what to say. I had to get out.”

  Lisanne put her hand over his, strongly aware that Rodney’s problems outweighed hers considerably. He looked wretched. He was putting on a good show, but she could sense the pain he was trying so hard to hide.

  “You know,” she said slowly, “you could transfer to my college, couldn’t you? We’re only one semester in – you could catch up. There’s always room in general ed classes – until you decide what to do.”

  She could see that her words had thrown him a lifeline.

  “You think? Hell, yes! You and me in the city? Well, you, me and Daniel. That would be amazing.”

  He looked at her gratefully.

  “Really? You think it could work?”

  “Why not? It’s a good school. Your mom and dad will be happy you’re still getting your degree. And you won’t be alone – you’ll be with me. And they know I’m a good girl.”

  She emphasized the last two words and finally managed to pull a small smile from Rodney.

  She was glad one of them was feeling more positive.

  When he went to order more coffee, Lisanne checked her phone again, but there was nothing from Daniel.

  Rodney caught her as he walked back – he was definitely looking lighter and more relaxed.

  “Still no word from Daniel?”

  “Nothing.”

  He shrugged. “It’s a man thing. Wait till he’s nearly home then give him a call… um… text him.” He looked at her sympathetically. “He’s a pretty great guy. I mean, the way he was with me. When I saw him I thought he was, you know, so alpha male, that there was no way he’d let a gay guy hang out with him. But he was totally cool about it. And I’m serious – he’s crazy about you.”

  Lisanne sighed. “Sometimes I think so, but he’s so hard to read. He never tells me anything. I don’t know, like he thinks he’s protecting me or something.”

  “Maybe he is. You said his home life isn’t the best.”

  “You have no idea,” she said miserably.

  “Tell me about it,” said Rodney, with feeling.

  The friends shared a look, and Rodney reached across the table to hold her hand. “You’ll work it out.”

  But by that evening, Lisanne still hadn’t heard from Daniel. Her emotions had been playing hopscotch, leaping from irritation to anger, from concern to doubt, and winding up with full-scale paranoia. Maybe the bus had crashed off of the road? Maybe the pretty blonde who’d got on the bus before him was currently enjoying Daniel’s considerable charms – maybe he’d charmed the pants off her – literally?

  She threw her phone onto the bedside table and went to sleep, pissed and miserable.

  By morning there was still no news, and Lisanne began to be really worried.

  Monica tried to calm her down.

  “You know what men are like, darling. Half the time your father forgets to take his cellphone with him and when he does, it’s almost never charged up or even turned on.”

  Lisanne shook her head. “Daniel always has his cellphone on him – it’s not like he can use an ordinary phone – he has to text.”

  Monica frowned.

  “Harry said you two had a fight. Maybe he just needs some space?”

  Lisanne let her head drop into her hands. She was worried that her mom was right. How much space did he need? So much that he was breaking up with her?

  But Rodney had a different idea.

  “Look,” he said, on the phone later that morning, “why don’t we go down there and shake his tree. If you’re that worried, I’ll drive you there. God knows I need to get away from my parents. I really appreciate them praying for me, but it’s driving me a little crazy, too. God made me gay – they’ll just have to get over it.”

  “Really, you’d drive me? Because mom would never let me take her car and getting around by bus is a real pain.”

  “Sure, why not. We’ll need somewhere to stay though.”

  Lisanne chewed her thumb nail, what was left of it after the last 24 hours.

  “We could stay in my dorm room – I know how I can sneak you in. Kirsty won’t be there… what do you think?”

  Rodney laughed. “A pajama party? Oh my God, that sounds so gay! I must be making up for lost time. Yes, let’s do it.”

  Monica and Ernie were less enthused when she told them the plan.

  “For goodness sake, Lisanne! You can’t go chasing after Daniel like that.”

  “I’m not chasing after him, mom,” Lisanne lied. “I’m just… worried about him. And Rodney wants to check out my college so… it all fits in.”

  Ernie frowned, but then surprised Monica by agreeing with Lisanne.

  “We won’t get any peace in this house with her all wound up, and Rodney’s a steady, sensible boy.”

  Obviously Ernie hadn’t gotten the memo, but Lisanne wasn’t going to argue with her dad when he was on her side.

  “Thank you, daddy!” she sang, and ran upstairs to pack her bags.

  Two hours later they were on the road.

  “I’ve prepared a play list of road trip songs,” said Rodney, pleased with himself. “I didn’t think I’d get the chance to use it so soon.”

  Soon the sounds of Ultra
Nate’s Free were pumping through the car, and Lisanne felt her spirits lift, if ever so slightly.

  She raised her eyebrows. “I remember this one.”

  Rodney grinned. “You could call it my anthem.”

  Lisanne smiled.

  “Ready?” said Rodney. “Rooooad triiiiiip!” and hit the accelerator.

  By early evening they were cruising through the Savannah suburbs.

  “Do you mind if we go to Daniel’s place first?” Lisanne asked anxiously.

  “Course not, Lis. This is what we’re here for. Besides, I want to see this famous den of iniquity.”

  “That’s not funny, Rodney – it’s his home.”

  Rodney winced. “Sorry.”

  As they drove up the street to Daniel’s house, it was eerily quiet. On her first visit, Lisanne had seen cars and bikes lining the road, and people spilling out onto the sidewalk. But there was nothing. No one.

  When she saw the house, her mouth fell open.

  “Holy crap,” breathed Rodney, his voice filled with shocked awe.

  The front door was hanging from its hinges, and there was hardly a single pane of glass that hadn’t been smashed. Bottles and beer cans littered the front yard, and a bonfire of something that smelled really bad was still smoldering at the side of the house.

  Whoever had done this – and it must have been more than one person – was long gone.

  Lisanne felt sick and scrambled out of the car.

  “Wait!” hissed Rodney.

  He climbed out, locked the car and had his finger hovering over 911 on his speed dial.

  Lisanne was too keyed up to let him go first, and ran up the steps.

  “Hey,” called Rodney. “Look!”

  Walking toward them, as if every footstep was pulled to the earth by its own unique gravity, was Daniel. He looked tired, dirty and unshaven, but he was alive and in one piece.

  Lisanne ran forward, throwing herself at him, locking her arms around his neck. He stood stock still, then slowly let his head sink down to her shoulder.

  Neither of them spoke.

  Rodney leaned against the car and let them have their moment. Whatever had happened to Daniel, he’d clearly been through hell.

  After a minute, Lisanne loosened her grip and stepped back so she could see his face.

  “Are you okay? What happened? Where have you been? I’ve been going crazy!”

  His eyes were glazed with tiredness and he seemed confused. Lisanne was immediately worried that he’d injured his head and she turned his cheek gently to inspect the wound. She couldn’t see anything obvious, except that he was clearly in need of a hot shower and some food – probably a long sleep, too.

  He looked at her as if he didn’t understand her question, but as his eyes tracked across to his home, some of the fire she loved to see flared in his eyes.

  “Fucking meth heads,” he said, tiredly.

  “What?!” gasped Lisanne, her eyes meeting Rodney’s shocked face. “Druggies did this?”

  Daniel nodded slowly. “Yeah, after the police bust the place wide open.” He looked at the wrecked building, and anger rippled across his face. “I’d better take a look.”

  If anything, the inside was worse. All the soft furnishings had been slashed open, carpets ripped up – even some of the floorboards. Every closet, cupboard and cabinet had been emptied, the contents carelessly strewn around. In what was left of the kitchen, the refrigerator was lying on its side, a carton of sour milk puddled on the floor. The back door had been left open and a few leaves had blown inside. At least it hadn’t rained.

  Cautiously, Lisanne picked a route up the stairs that avoided some of the potential hazards of torn carpeting and suspicious stains. The same destruction had made its way to the second story. At Daniel’s room, they all paused. The door had been smashed open by something heavy, causing the lock to disintegrate. His once tidy room had been torn apart, the sheets pulled from the bed, the mattress slashed to pieces. All the books had had the covers ripped off and had been tossed to the floor. The rug was shoved to one side and even the little loft space above his bed had been violated. Clothes had been pulled from the closet, dumped onto the floor, and walked over.

  “It looks like there’s been a riot here,” whispered Rodney.

  Lisanne didn’t know what to say. The police had done a very thorough job of searching the place – and then it had been trashed by people who were looking for something, anything to sell for their next fix.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here,” said Rodney. “We’ll get some food and go back to your place, Lis, then decide what to do. Okay?”

  Lisanne nodded. Any plan that involved getting the hell away sounded good to her.

  “Wait for me outside,” said Daniel, quietly.

  Back in the fresh air, Lisanne felt a loosening of the claustrophobia that had choked her inside the devastated house, but her head had started to throb and she felt nauseous.

  A few minutes later, Daniel followed them out. He was carrying a plastic bag with some of his clothes but very little else.

  “They took my guitar,” he said in a hollow voice. “And I checked the garage – Sirona’s gone. Fuck. The place has been left wide open – everything’s gone.”

  “Who’s Sirona?” whispered Rodney.

  “His Harley.”

  Daniel bent down and picked up a half-full bottle of vodka that was lying at his feet.

  Lisanne was about to tell him not to drink it when he shoved some sheets of newspaper into the neck and pulled out his lighter.

  Flames licked up the paper and Daniel aimed the missile at his home.

  “No!” shouted Lisanne, and jogged his arm so he missed his target, and it smashed onto the bonfire, exploding harmlessly.

  Rodney looked shocked and completely out of his depth.

  “What are you doing?” yelled Lisanne, pulling Daniel around to face her.

  “Torching the shithole,” he replied in a dull monotone.

  “I think we’d better get him out of here,” Rodney said in a hushed voice.

  Lisanne led Daniel to the back of Rodney’s car and pushed him inside. She slid in next to him, holding his hand, staring anxiously at his face. He leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes.

  Keeping her voice quiet out of some sort of atavistic belief that it would calm the wounded in spirit, Lisanne gave Rodney directions to the dorm rooms. They stopped briefly to pick up food, but Daniel didn’t speak again.

  Once they arrived, she told Rodney to wait by the fire exit with Daniel, until she could let them in without being seen.

  The dorms were quiet and seemingly deserted, but from somewhere, music floated through the empty corridors – happy, upbeat music – the kind you listened to when you hadn’t a care in the world. Lisanne tried to work out where the music was coming from and which rooms might be occupied, but everywhere appeared empty.

  She opened the fire exit and motioned Rodney to enter. He pulled a zombie-like Daniel behind him.

  Once in her room, Daniel slumped onto her bed and Rodney gazed around him.

  “Not bad. Could do with a private bathroom though.”

  “Yeah, they’re putting that in all the girls’ dorm rooms for next year. If it wasn’t a requirement for out-of-towners to live on campus for the first year, I think they’d have a lot of empty rooms.”

  She looked at Daniel. “Are you hungry?” She walked toward him and tapped his arm. “Are you hungry?”

  He shook his head. “Tired.”

  “You should sleep. Do you want to get a shower first? There’s hardly anyone around – I could wait outside, make sure no one walks in on you.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  Lisanne poked her head around the door and escorted him to the women’s showers. Her eyes drifted down his body as he undressed, and she saw that his bruises had turned yellow and were beginning to fade. That was something. But he looked so tired.

  His shower was brief, probably bec
ause he’d have fallen asleep if he’d stayed any longer. He dried himself with Lisanne’s towel and pulled on his jeans. He grimaced at the grubby t-shirt and walked back to her room barefoot and bare chested.

  Rodney had made inroads on the food, but she saw him trying not to stare as they walked back in. Lisanne threw him a look, and his eyes dropped to his egg roll.

  Daniel seemed marginally more awake and accepted some of the food, but his eyelids were drooping. Lisanne knew he needed to sleep but she had to ask.

  “What happened?”

  Daniel sighed and pushed his food away. Lisanne immediately felt guilty.

  “I got back from your place. I hadn’t got any money for a cab so I’d walked from the bridge. I’d just pulled out my door key when the cops showed up. I got arrested and spent two days in a police cell before I got bail.”

  Lisanne gasped. “What were you arrested for? You hadn’t even been there!”

  His head dropped. “Zef’s going down. They wouldn’t even give him bail. It’s a felony – intent to distribute.” His voice was hollow as he recited the bare facts. “He could get up to 10 years.”

  He rubbed his head, tiredly.

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  Daniel shook his head. “I needed my phone call for the lawyer. I thought about asking her to get a message to you…”

  “But…?”

  “You don’t need to be involved in anymore of my shit, Lis.”

  She groaned with frustration. That was so like him! By trying to protect her, he’d scared the shit out of her.

  “What about your guitar?” she said in as calm a tone as she could muster. “What about Sirona? Will you report them stolen?”

  “No point. They’ll be long gone.”

  “You can claim on the insurance,” Rodney added helpfully.

  Daniel just stared at him, and Rodney’s cheeks flushed.

  “So that’s it?” said Lisanne. “They took everything?”

  “Yeah, laptop, CDs – fuck even most of my clothes.”

  “What about your schoolwork?”

  He tapped his hip pocket. “Got that backed up on a flash drive. And my music.”

  Rodney frowned but didn’t offer any more asinine advice.