Dangerous to Know & Love

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  “Me, too. I’ve ordered for you – lots of grease. Come on, come back. Please.”

  He stood up slowly, feeling drained. A lot of grease sounded good, he just didn’t know if he could handle Cori and Lisanne firing questions at him. It was enough to give a man indigestion before he ate.

  They walked back into the diner and Cori smirked at him.

  C: She handles you well.

  D: What part of ‘fuck off’ didn’t you get the first time?

  C: Seriously, I like her. She’ll be good for you.

  D: Patronizing much?

  C: Suck it up.

  Lisanne’s phone beeped and she pulled it out of her pocket.

  “Oh, it’s from Kirsty. She’s posted some pictures from Aspen.”

  She passed her phone to Daniel and he flipped through various snowy scenes.

  C: Can I join in or this a couples thing?

  “Cori wants to know what we’re looking at.”

  “Kirsty is my roommate. She’s in Aspen with her boyfriend, Vin.”

  D: Lis’s irritating roommate and her boyfriend Vin. They’re skiing in Aspen.

  C: Lucky them! And I’m stuck here looking at your ugly face.

  D: Even I’m getting bored of saying ‘fuck off’.

  Lisanne handed the phone over to Cori.

  C: Hey, he’s cute!

  Daniel rolled his eyes.

  “What?” said Lisanne.

  “Please don’t make me fucking say it,” grumbled Daniel.

  “Come on, what did she say?”

  He groaned. “She thinks Vin is ‘cute’.” He used air quotes to show how deeply uncomfortable he was, talking about another guy like that.

  Cori giggled and Lisanne couldn’t help smiling.

  “He’s not my type,” said Lisanne.

  Cori laughed and pointed at Daniel.

  “Yes, he’s my type,” said Lisanne, nodding.

  Daniel stared at them both. “Hey! I’m right here!”

  He was relieved when Maggie arrived with the food.

  “Where’ve you been, handsome? I’ve missed your sweet face,” and she leaned down to pinch his cheek. “I hope you’re keeping him in order, girls,” she said.

  “Fuckin’ hell,” sighed Daniel.

  “Less of the cussing, Danny Colton!” said Maggie severely.

  Lisanne held back a giggle, still slightly intimidated by the waitress.

  They ate their food in silence, Daniel refusing to translate while there was a meal in front of him.

  Afterward, they had an awkward three-way conversation where Daniel told Cori about Zef and the house, and that Rodney would be moving in.

  C: Is he cute as well?

  D: Not your type.

  C: What’s that supposed to mean?

  D: He’s gay.

  C: You swinging both ways now? Don’t bother saying ‘fuck off’ again.

  “Oh, tell her we’re going to have a party when Rodney’s moved in.”

  “What? No way!”

  “Fine, I’ll tell her.” Lisanne spoke slowly and clearly, and watched the furrowed concentration on Cori’s face.

  It was clear she found lip reading much more difficult than Daniel. It made Lisanne wonder how tiring it was for him. He’d always made it look so effortless that she realized she’d taken it for granted. But seeing Cori struggle, she was forced to re-evaluate her thoughts.

  C: Cool! Party! You weren’t going to invite me, were you, you bastard!

  D: Can’t imagine why I wouldn’t.

  C: Fuck off!

  He grinned at her.

  * * *

  Over the next three days, Daniel had two more tuning appointments. Each time, Lisanne went with him, and each time there were small improvements, but Daniel’s frustration was clear.

  He couldn’t distinguish between men’s or women’s voices, and couldn’t tell who was speaking. He found some of the sounds ‘ugly’, although he couldn’t explain what he meant by that.

  Lisanne thought she understood – being a musician, and being so attuned to the quality of sound, some combinations just didn’t seem right. But she kept that thought to herself.

  Daniel knew that his hold on his temper was tenuous and tried not to take out his constant anger on Lisanne, but it was hard.

  He was almost relieved when Rodney returned, and the intensity of being with his girlfriend 24/7 was diluted.

  One good thing had come out of their time together – the sex had been awesome. She had fewer and fewer inhibitions and had surprised him several times by taking the initiative. But they fought, too. Fuck, they fought!

  He admitted to himself that he drove her crazy with not talking about how he was feeling, but come on! It just wasn’t a guy thing to talk every other fucking second about how he was feeling all the time. Sometimes he needed to just be. Lisanne didn’t seem to understand that, and accused him of shutting her out.

  On the plus side, the make up sex was always fucking fantastic.

  Baby doll was feisty. He liked that. He liked that a lot.

  Lisanne, on the other hand, found their fights exhausting. She admitted as much to Kirsty when she got back from Aspen.

  “I mean, he sent me this heart wrenching letter but he can never actually say the words to my face. He’s so closed off – I never know what he’s thinking and we end up fighting. Again.”

  “But he is talking to you,” said Kirsty encouragingly, as she continued unpacking her impressively large suitcase. “It sounds like he’s trying.”

  Lisanne sighed. “Yes, I know he is. And then I get mad at myself for getting mad at him. He’s done all this for me and I end up yelling at him. I’m such a bitch.”

  Kirsty stopped unpacking and looked at her, a half smile tugging at her lips.

  “Oh, believe me, babe, that is so far from the truth. Besides, you said he asked you to go to those clinic appointments with him?”

  “Yes, I nearly died when he asked me. He usually keeps all that stuff to himself. You know, about being deaf.”

  Kirsty rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do remember an epic shit fit when you told me. So the clinic thing, it’s a really big deal for him?”

  Lisanne nodded. “Yes, I think he knows he has to start sharing this stuff if we’re going to really be together.”

  “Wow!”

  “I know.”

  “And, you’re like, practically living with him!”

  Lisanne shook her head. “No, I was just staying for a few days until classes started.”

  “Your parents must have freaked out about that.”

  “Well, not really – maybe a bit. They gave me the whole lecture about ‘needing to spend time apart’ and ‘enjoying my freedom’. I mean, I think they’ve accepted that we’re sleeping together – I think – they just don’t want me moving in with him. I’ll save that bombshell for next year.”

  Kirsty gaped at her. “Really? You think?”

  Lisanne nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think definitely maybe.”

  “Wow!”

  “I know!”

  They both dissolved into giggles and Lisanne was glad to have some quality girl time.

  They ordered pizza and Kirsty told her all about Aspen which, of course, was ‘awesome’ and ‘amazing’. Lisanne was slightly shocked to hear that Vin’s parents had been totally cool with them sharing a room.

  Truthfully, she was a little jealous that her parents weren’t as open-minded. But then she felt mean for thinking like that, especially when they’d been so wonderful with helping Daniel fix up his house – they’d treated him like family. It hadn’t been a smooth ride, but they’d done such a lot for him. Daniel had said as much on New Year’s Eve. Lisanne loved her mom and dad and she couldn’t imagine being without her parents, even if they were overprotective sometimes. Daniel had lost his…

  “Hey, where’d you go just now? Missing Daniel already?”

  Lisanne grinned at her friend. “Yes, but I’m not missing the fighting.”
>
  “Not even make up sex?”

  “Definitely missing that!”

  Kirsty winked at her.

  “So, what’s he going to do now?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, is it still a big secret, you know, that he’s deaf?”

  Lisanne frowned. “I don’t think anything has changed. He’s still super private. It’ll be bad enough when people found out that Zef got arrested.”

  Kirsty nodded. “God, I can’t imagine what Daniel’s going through. I’m so glad he’s got you, Lis.” She saw her friend’s disbelieving face. “No, I mean it. I know I haven’t been his greatest fan but, well… I admit it. I was wrong.”

  “Thanks, Kir. That means a lot to me.”

  “But…”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “No, it’s just, I had to tell Vin.”

  Lisanne sighed. “We figured you would. I don’t think Daniel minds that much – he and Vin were getting along.”

  “If it’s any consolation, Vin was seriously impressed. Well, shocked as hell at first. He kept on like he couldn’t believe it. Anyway, I finally convinced him and told him about the hospital and everything. He won’t say anything but I think he was going to text Daniel.” She shook her head. “Frankly, I think it’s inevitable that people will find out. I mean, you said he covers it up with a beanie – is he going to wear it all summer?”

  “Some guys do,” said Lisanne defensively.

  “To the beach?”

  “He can’t wear the processor when he’s swimming anyway.”

  “You know what I’m saying.”

  Lisanne nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

  Suddenly their door was flung open and Shawna marched in.

  “Ooooh! You’re back!” she squealed, going from zero to supersonic in less than a second.

  She launched herself at Kirsty, chattering away about her Christmas and New Years. Finally, she acknowledged that Lisanne was in the room.

  “Oh, hey,” she said, coolly.

  Lisanne just smiled and carried on texting Daniel.

  “By the way,” said Shawna, “I just passed Daniel Colton.”

  Lisanne’s head snapped up as Shawna continued squawking.

  “Ohmigod, have you seen him? He cut his hair! I told him ages ago that buzz cuts were the sexiest thing ever – he must have heard me!”

  Kirsty shook her head in disbelief.

  “Shawna, are you completely deluded? He’s so into Lisanne it’s not even true!”

  Shawna laughed. She actually laughed and Lisanne wanted to shove her vacuous face into the nearest trashcan.

  “Oh sure!” she said, still smiling. “See you tomorrow!” and she sauntered out.

  “Sorry about that,” muttered Kirsty.

  Lisanne forced a laugh. “I don’t care.”

  “Yeah, that’s why you looked like you were about to snatch her bald-headed.” She paused as Lisanne grinned at her. “So, is Daniel coming over, because I thought we were having some girl time?”

  “It’s news to me,” said Lisanne, “but he’s nothing if unpredictable.”

  Her phone beeped with a text and she smiled to see that Daniel was waiting downstairs for her.

  “Young love,” sighed Kirsty, and Lisanne threw a pillow at her.

  Lisanne hurried out of the room and accidentally caught up with Shawna. Lisanne was filled with a sudden urge to tell that bitch that Daniel was off the market – permanently. Or just hit her. But Lisanne didn’t want to make things difficult between Kirsty and Shawna, particularly as they were on the same course.

  “Shawna?”

  “What do you want, nerd?”

  Shawna’s unprovoked bitchiness was a mistake.

  “Daniel is my boyfriend.”

  “Yeah? Well, it looks like a pity parade to me.”

  Lisanne took a step forward, her fury boiling over. “He will never want your saggy ass. He will never touch your fake boobs. He wouldn’t be seen dead with a girl who dresses like a drag queen channeling Joan Rivers.”

  Shawna gaped at her.

  “Stay away from me. Stay away from Daniel. Or…”

  “Or what?” hissed Shawna.

  “Or I’ll beat the shit out of you.”

  Lisanne was proud that her voice didn’t tremble once. She folded her arms across her chest and stared coldly.

  “Are you threatening me?” Shawna said, her voice disbelieving.

  “Yes.”

  Shawna gasped and was going to say something, but when she saw Lisanne’s small hands curl tightly into fists, she stomped off down the corridor, throwing hateful glances over her shoulder.

  Lisanne took a deep breath, and went to look for Daniel.

  He was leaning against the wall beside the fire door, his face filled with tension. Lisanne immediately forgot about the verbal bitch-slap with Shawna.

  “What’s up? Are you okay?”

  He didn’t speak but pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face in her hair. She felt his breath on her neck as he breathed deeply several times. After nearly a minute of standing, holding her, while she stroked his back, he let her go.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I just…”

  “It’s okay. You want to come in?”

  “Is Kirsty there?”

  “Yes, but she won’t mind.”

  He shook his head. “No, I won’t stay. I just wanted to see you.”

  “Daniel, you saw me less than two hours ago. What’s happened?”

  “I got a call from the prison. Zef wants to see me. I have to be there tomorrow at twelve.”

  “Oh. Are you going to go?”

  His face tightened perceptibly. “Of course I’m going to fucking go – he’s my brother.”

  Lisanne kept her face still, trying to hide her irritation.

  “Yeah, so, I won’t be able to meet you for lunch.”

  She didn’t ask why he hadn’t simply texted her – she knew the reason.

  “Do you want me to come with you?”

  He smiled briefly then frowned. “No, I’m good. But I could meet you after school. Rodney’s making Thai.”

  He rolled his eyes and Lisanne chuckled.

  “Hmm, Rodney’s experimental cooking! And you want me to suffer along with you?”

  “Yeah, that’s one reason!”

  His eyes darkened, and told her what reason number two might be.

  “Mmm, I could definitely eat some Thai,” she teased him.

  He pulled her toward him, hungrily. “Yeah, I could eat some… Thai, as well.”

  He kissed her deeply and when she kissed him back, pushing her hands into the back pockets of his jeans, a moan rumbled up from his throat.

  “Fuck, baby doll, I just can’t get enough of you.”

  He left, with his kiss seared onto her lips, and her knees weak.

  That boy!

  * * *

  The next day was unseasonably warm, and when Daniel parked Sirona, he gratefully took off his leather jacket. He was still anxious about leaving her in unfamiliar places, but he figured the well protected county jail was probably safer than most places.

  There was a low watchtower outside the gates, and thick barbed wire spiraled along the concrete walls. The jail itself squatted behind its protective barrier, flat and unassuming, despite who and what it contained.

  Daniel took a deep breath and headed toward the visitor entrance. Right now he really wanted a smoke and was very tempted to open one of the packets of Camel he’d brought for his brother. He decided against it, having been smoke-free for well over a month. Lis would kill him if he blew it now. Besides, he couldn’t afford his 20 a day habit anymore.

  He gave his name to the guards on duty at the security checkpoint, and was asked to remove his boots and jacket, and empty his keys and wallet into a plastic bin. A sign informed him that he had two chances to make it past the metal detector or he would be denied entry. He walked through the machine and it immediately started beeping.


  A guard told him to check his pockets and stood over him while he did so. Daniel was about to try and make it through again when he remembered the implant. Feeling like an idiot, he explained the problem. The guard looked skeptical until Daniel pulled off his beanie and showed the guy his scar. He also had his tuning appointment letter in his wallet.

  The guard read it carefully then returned it to Daniel’s wallet.

  “Next time tell us before you try and go through the metal detector, son.”

  Daniel was relieved – the guy could have been an asshole, but considering he worked in a jail, he was pretty damn nice about it.

  He was told to wait in a room with a number of other visitors. He felt awkward standing with a group of women, most of whom seemed to have small children. One woman was crying, tears running down her cheeks, and snot pooling beneath her nose. Daniel looked away.

  After a ten minute wait where the woman continued to sob pathetically, they were escorted through a number of gates to another holding pen. A large poster declared:

  WEAPONS OF ANY KIND ARE NOT PERMITTED.

  AVOID LOUD, EXCESSIVELY EMOTIONAL, OR DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR. PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHER VISITORS.

  SPEAKING TO OTHER OFFENDERS OR VISITORS IS NOT PERMITTED.

  HANDHOLDING IS PERMITTED ONLY IF HANDS REMAIN IN PLAIN VIEW.

  A BRIEF HUG IS PERMITTED AT THE BEGINNING AND CONCLUSION OF VISITS.

  AN OFFENDER MAY HAVE CONTACT WITH HIS CHILDREN.

  IF YOUR VISIT BECOMES EMOTIONAL, STAFF WILL ASSIST AS NEEDED.

  Daniel kept a close watch on the door. He hadn’t worn the processor because of needing his helmet. He’d tried it once and his skull had felt bruised and tender, almost raw where the magnets met.

  He saw a guard come in and call, “Next.”

  He raised his hand and the guard checked down his list.

  “Go through the door to your right. Make sure it closes completely behind you. When the buzzer sounds, go through the next door. Once inside, go directly to Table 12. Any questions?”

  “Um, yeah.”

  “What is it?”

  “I’m, um, I’m deaf.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Was this guy fucking laughing at him?

  “I’m deaf. I can’t hear the buzzer.”

  “Do you want this visit, kid, because I’ve had just about enough…”

  Daniel tore off his beanie and turned to show the guy his scar. “I’m fucking deaf, okay! I can’t hear any damn buzzer!”