by Joseph Zuko
That had been her motto for as long as she could remember.
A knife slipped out of Jim’s hand and clanged on the cheap linoleum floor. The noise pulled Sara’s attention away from Devon and she watched him retrieve the fumbled blade. A couple hours ago four boys from Sara’s neighborhood attempted to rape her. It would have been one of the scariest moments of her life, but the recent zombie apocalypse edged it out of the top spot. Barely. The depraved words and vile look in those boy’s eyes would be total nightmare fuel for Sara in the years to come. Just like Spiderman, Jim appeared out of nowhere and kicked the shit out of the villains. He saved her. She felt compelled to go with him and help get the equipment they needed to save Devon. Not just because it was the right thing to do. She genuinely felt safer around him it was like she had met a real life hero.
She didn’t consider herself a hero. She didn’t shoot spiderwebs nor climb walls, but she did have an ability. It was the power to lift young men’s spirits. She leaned over, wiped a spot on Devon’s forehead clean with her thumb, and planted a kiss on the newly cleaned spot.
“We’ll be back in a few minutes, okay? You hang in there,” She whispered to him.
Devon muscled a weak smile up at her. His heart beat a little faster as she climbed to her feet.
Jim pulled off his disgusting bloody jacket he had picked up from Big 5 Sporting Goods store earlier that day. “Cliff, do you have a spare belt I could have? Mine’s wrapped around his leg.” He emptied the pockets and found one last Five Hour Energy and the lighter with the stars and stripes emblazoned on it. Jim laid them out on the table next to the knives.
Cliff was caught a little off guard by the question. It’s not every day that someone asks to have an article of your clothing. “Yeah, I’m sure I have something.” He didn’t waste any time thinking about it. Cliff left the living room and headed to his bedroom in search of the belt.
Morgan saw her chance, “Can I have another beer?” she asked Tina quietly. There was so much going on and racing though Tina’s mind she didn’t think twice about her mother-in-law’s request and got the woman a beer from the fridge.
“Tina, do you have a garbage bag for this?” Jim held out the soiled jacket. There was no way to clean the filth embedded into its fibers.
On her way out of the kitchen Tina emerged with a Hefty bag and Morgan’s Tecate. She popped the top and handed it over to Morgan. Then she held open the plastic bag as Jim dropped the jacket into it.
“I don’t know what to even do with this mess.” Jim told her. Then it hit him. He grabbed the bag, headed for their sliding glass door, opened it and tossed the bag over the railing. It hit one of the infected zombies in the head and landed in the grass. The sudden movement and sound of the bag got the beasts all riled up and the small horde crashed into each other as they searched for the source of the noise.
Jim slid the glass door shut behind him, blocking out the crunching, smacking sounds happening in the backyard. He moved to his stash laid out on the table. Cliff reappeared with a well-worn black leather belt.
“Here, you can have this,” Cliff said as he handed it to his neighbor. He noticed his mother had a fresh beer in her hands but did not want to get into it with Tina while they had company.
“Thank you,” Jim said as he took the belt. He fed it through the loops on his pants and reattached his fixed blade knives and the machete to his waist.
Sara and Frank stood next to the door, ready to roll. Frank’s SKS rested in his big, rough hands. Sara’s blade bat that Jim put together for her laid across her shoulder as they waited for Jim to gather the last of his stuff.
The belt fit perfectly and the buckle’s prong found its home in the same exact stretched notch that Cliff had last used. Jim slipped on his leather jacket, zipped it up and placed the energy drink and lighter in the pockets. He pulled the backpack straps up onto his shoulders and clicked it tight across his chest. Tina handed him his trusty home-made spear. The wood tip of the walking stick was stained dark red and chunks of flesh hung from the razor sharp knife taped at the end.
Jim stepped closer to the married couple and lowered his voice to a whisper, “If something happens to Devon before we get back, I mean if he passes… you have to…” Jim choked on the words. He took a beat and coughed to clear his throat. “As soon as his heart stops he will be one of them. You have to take him out right away.”
“We understand,” Tina whispered.
“We’ll take care of him until you get back.” Cliff said, “Here’s a bit of advice I learned today. Know your exits before marching into the building. It might save your life,” Cliff extended his hand and they ended the conversation with a firm shake. Jim logged the info and nodded at Cliff. It was a good chunk of insight.
Cliff made a mental note after seeing Jim’s main weapon. The cleaver was good at splitting skulls but he had to get so damn close to the diseased people that it was a very risky job to take them down. He needed to make his own bladed weapon. Cliff plotted, schemed and listed out all of the possible things he had around the house that he could build into an efficient killing tool.
Jim joined his crew at the front door.
“What’s the plan?” Sara’s frayed nerves caused her voice to crack.
“I’ve got a spare key to my wife’s PT Cruiser. Frank lays down a path to the car and I do my best to keep all four tires on the road,” Jim said with a confident tone.
“Plus you’ve got to keep an eye out for car stealing church militias,” Frank said as he clicked the safety off of his rifle.
“Sounds like a plan,” Sara said as she opened the front door to Cliff and Tina’s apartment. The three of them stepped out on to the landing. They faced the makeshift wall built by Cliff at the top of the stairs. Jim sized up the obstacle. The only route they could take would be to climb over the top rail of the landing and then back over the rail on to the steps. For a moment they would be hanging ten feet from the unforgiving concrete entry with a small horde of infected zombies between them and Karen’s car.
All damn day I’ve been fighting to get home and ten minutes later I’m hitting the road again.
Jim kept his enthusiasm to himself.
Fucking fantastic! Jim thought as his free hand curled around the top rail and he quickly counted the thirty monsters that separated them from their ride.
Just fucking fantastic!
CHAPTER 2
The hardwood floor under Karen’s butt felt like as good a place as any to have a nervous breakdown. Penny’s dead black eyes stared through the glass door locked on the piece of meat that was her daughter. The infected salesman that had attacked Penny earlier joined her at the sliding glass door. The two of them occasionally slammed a bloody fist into the solid glass. Karen’s sore, bloodshot eyes were zoned out and looking a thousand miles away.
Karen’s mind was playing tricks on her. Every couple of minutes she would think about getting up, walking out the door and letting those two monsters tear her apart.
Just end it! Karen’s brain begged at her.
What’s the point? I’m going to end up dead anyway!
Why prolong the suffering!
Fuck it all!
Jim’s dead! Mama’s dead!
I should just join them!
Her thoughts were not playing fair. The logic was too sound. The more she thought about it, the more sense it made. She didn’t have to step outside. She could just empty her gun’s magazine on her family and put the barrel to her temple.
Easy peasy, right?
She could just let go and stop fighting.
Robin tapped at her shoulder, “Mama, okay?” she asked.
Karen shook her head at the baby, she was not ready to talk yet. Robin dropped her head onto her Mama’s shoulder and kept patting her with a soft touch. Valerie was in the living room, giggling about something. Karen had blacked out a little and time had jumped forward. These two little people needed her to be strong. She could not let her babies down. She
had gotten them this far. She just needed to be a little stronger for them and make it through the day. Karen Blackmore was strong and suicide was not her style. She knew she had to get her shit together for her family and she needed to do it fast. Sitting around and having a pity party was going to get her killed if she didn’t watch out. If this was any other day she could take the time to properly mourn the loss of her amazing Mama and her puppy dog, Paris, but not today.
I need to be tough. Karen thought.
I am tough. She told herself.
Leon helped Robin out of the wrap, and as he worked at the knot he spoke softly to Karen. He used a gentle voice. Almost a whisper. He didn’t want to startle the semi-conscious catatonic mama bear. He was unaware how dark and dire Karen’s thoughts truly were.
“I found the chapter on concussions in the medical book and we need to keep Troy awake. I kicked on a kid’s video that was in the DVD player. I hope it will hold his interest. Valerie is in his lap asking questions and that seems to be working. I haven’t told him about… her yet. That seems like a family discussion. Plus, I don’t know if the info would even register right now.” Leon got the knot loose enough to untie it. He slowly pulled Robin off Karen’s back and set her down. The little one raced out of the dining room and towards the sounds of the TV the second her feet hit the floor. Leon finished pulling the rough sheet off of Karen’s body. As the fabric unraveled from her body her torso swayed and her limbs fell limp at her side.
“We should do… something about them before they draw any attention.” Leon balled up the blood-covered sheets and squatted down next to Karen. He leaned his head over into her line of sight. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. When my parents died I was across the Pacific Ocean from them. I never got to see their bodies.” Leon’s head dropped then he looked around the room as if something hanging from the walls or up on a shelf would trigger the right set of words for him to say to snap her out of this haze. Nothing helped.
He reached out and touched Karen’s knee. The physical contact caused her eyes to flick over onto Leon’s face. His forced smile greeted her gaze.
“I know you need time to mourn, but we have got to lock this place down before we end up… joining the dead.” Leon finished the sentence with a hard swallow.
They stared at each other for a while before she finally spoke, “I need five more minutes and a glass of water.” Karen’s voice was hoarse. She sounded like she was coming down with a cold. Leon nodded at her and stood up to get the water.
He dumped the bloody sheets into the trash can under the sink and washed the gore from his hands. Standing in front of the kitchen window he could see what was left of the police cruiser they destroyed on the ride to Penny’s home. The streets in this neighborhood were still clear of infected.
That’s good.
We take care of the two in the backyard and this place could be pretty safe, thought Leon.
He dried his hands on a towel that hung from the electric range and searched the cupboards for a glass. He found one, filled it with cold tap water and carried it over to her. Karen’s hand was up and ready to take the glass when he got close enough.
She took the glass and drained it into her mouth. It was going to take five more full glasses to kill the dehydration headache she had. The run to the house with Robin on her back and Troy on her shoulder was some of the hardest cardio Karen had ever been forced to do. Her mind had finally squashed the evil ideas of murdering her family and gunning herself down. It was about time too, she hated that her mind went straight to offing herself. The water was helping her system come back online. She was cleaning out the cobwebs and making space for new ideas to form. The gears in her head were starting to click and brainstorms were on the horizon.
How do we make this place safe?
That was the million-dollar question. Karen counted a dozen windows on this ranch style house. If one were smashed in they would be vulnerable and have to run.
How do we block up all of these damn windows?
She raised her empty glass high in the air as a signal for more. Leon picked up on her request and took the empty container back into the kitchen.
If the house gets breached we need a fast way out.
The knots in her back burned almost as badly as her dislocated wrist. The thought of Robin being strapped to her back again was horrifying. Carrying the girls would be nearly impossible until Troy was a hundred percent. They needed a new ride. Thank God Leon was skilled at acquiring vehicles that didn’t belong to him. They needed to find a four-wheel-drive truck and bring it back to the house. Get it fully gassed and ready to go. That way they could hit the road full throttle in a pinch. Leon was back with another full glass and Karen went right to work emptying it. This time she didn’t guzzle it down. She sipped at it and looked at the chicken coop into her mother’s backyard.
The idea had taken full form and the “Hows” that needed the most answering had come to Karen. Her glutes were begging her to get up off the hardwood floor. Her butt had gone numb.
“Can you help me up?” Her voice was clearer than before and she raised both of her arms. Leon took hold of them and raised her to her feet. She continued to sip her water as she stretched out her back.
“How handy are you?” Karen asked Leon.
“Pretty handy. Why?” he answered as his brow narrowed. He wondered where she was going with that question.
“Mama has-” Karen choked on the word and took a moment to gather herself. “There’s a ton of lumber in the garage. We can use it to block up these windows.”
“Okay, that’s good. What about them?” Leon pointed out the sliding glass door.
Karen pulled the Ruger out of its holster.
“Okay, we have to make it quick before more of those things show up,” Leon said as he reached for the gun.
“No.” Karen held the pistol close to her chest. “I have to do this.”
“You’re right. What do you want me to do?” Leon crossed his arms and pivoted so that he was standing shoulder to shoulder with Karen as they looked out the back door.
“Can you hold the door open a crack… just enough for the barrel to poke out?” The tears had started to fall again. Karen felt her body shake. This was it. When she pulls that trigger her Mama would be truly gone. Was she sure that there was no cure? Even if there was a cure how the hell would she get her Mama to the doctors without getting bitten herself? She knew the answer to all of these questions but her mind was stalling. It was still fighting the reality. Her sweet Mama was gone forever. The gun almost vibrated out of her good hand as she stepped closer to the back door.
Leon moved into position so that he could jam his foot into the runner of the sliding glass door and keep the beasts from pulling it open. Karen checked the magazine in her gun. She knew that it was full, she was stalling.
Maybe if I wait long enough I won’t have to do it.
Maybe Mama will walk away from the door.
The thought of her Mama walking the streets of the neighborhood, killing innocent people, tearing families apart, ripping the flesh from someone’s bones and destroying another life was too much. She could not let that happen. Penny would rather be killed than ever hurt an innocent person. Karen knew that as a fact. She took another step closer to the door and clicked off the safety.
Her Mama always had her back. No matter what. When Karen was a child and she had done something wrong and was about to get into trouble she would stretch the truth to her Mama. Just a little fib. No matter what she had done or how much she had stretched the truth Penny always believed her. She always had her baby’s side.
One time Penny had taken off for the weekend to visit her parents. Karen was a senior in high school and had been left home alone for the first time. Penny had an argument with her own mother that day and she decided to come home early. When she pulled up to her house it was pretty obvious what was going on. Parked cars lined the street. Music poured from the open windows
and a steady stream of teens were coming and going out the front door. Penny pulled out her cell phone and called the house. She heard the music cut off from her car and then Karen answered the call.
“Hello sweetheart how are you doing? I was just checking in on you before I go to bed.” Penny’s performance was flawless.
The words slurred slowly out of Karen’s mouth, “Hey Mama. I’m just watching a movie and about to go to bed myself.” Karen clumsily covered the receiver and shushed her friends.
“Okay, Papa and Maw send their love. I love you too, baby. Have a good weekend and be safe. All right?”
“I love you too Mama and tell Papa and Maw I love them and I’ll see them at Christmas.” Karen faked a yawn. “Okay, I’m heading to bed now. See you tomorrow night. Love you.”
Penny’s child breathed heavily into the phone and awaited confirmation that this call was coming to an end. All Penny wanted to say was “Drink some water and eat some food so you don’t get sick tomorrow.” But she didn’t. She knew that Karen was a good kid and she would be safe. So she said, “Love you too baby girl. See you tomorrow night.” Penny hung up the phone. A few seconds later the music got turned back up in the house and the party resumed. Penny knew how hard her divorce had been on Karen and she also knew how important it was for seniors in high school to look cool. There were few things cooler than having a big party when your parents were out of town. If Penny truly thought Karen couldn’t handle herself or that the party would get out of control she would have marched in there and shut the damn thing down. Instead she made a U-turn and headed for the closest motel. Some parents would have looked down on her for doing that, but moms that trust their children sometimes have to look the other way. Years later Penny confessed to Karen about the phone call and that she knew exactly what was happening. Karen couldn’t believe it. All those years she thought she was the clever one that got away with it, but the reality was her Mama was the best and always had been.