by Ryan Attard
“Let’s add disrespect to the Council to the list, shall we?” Jared said.
“But it’s so much fun.”
I braced myself for another blow from Boromir and felt my leg on fire.
Jared sighed and shook his head.
“Mr. Ashendale, do you understand that if you are found guilty of any one of these crimes, you will die? That your sister will also die, as will the girl whom we are detaining outside the perimeter of this hall? So, I ask you now: how do you plead?”
I looked at Gil who shook her head. I knew that look. She was working the numbers, working the situation. She probably had a whole bunch of strategies lined up, aces in sleeves to trade for her life, and hopefully mine.
But I had something better.
I looked at Jared and grinned.
“Guilty on all counts.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“You might also wanna include the time I publicly fought two of the Seven Deadly Sins, capsized a tanker — that was fun — and the fact that I operate a business for all who need help with supernatural issues.”
“Mr. Ashendale-”
“And the time I destroyed Carson Mansion when I was sixteen,” I added.
Jared nodded. “Noted.”
“Oh, and the time me and him,” I said, indicating towards Greg, “destroyed a gravesite, and crashed a college party, which later became infested by zombies.”
“I-”
“And that time we destroyed a museum because someone-” I pointed at the Kresnik “-wouldn’t let me do my job.”
Jared let out a frustrated growl. Boromir snapped his billy club into my back again.
“What?” I yelled at him. “I’m confessing!”
“That’s quite enough, Mr. Ashendale,” Jared snapped.
I raised my hands as far as my shackles allowed.
“Since you were so kind as to confess immediately,” he said, “this Council finds you guilty. Your punishment with be a swift, and sadly, painless, death.”
“No, it won’t.”
Boromir stepped towards me but a look from Jared stopped him.
“Okay, Mr. Ashendale,” he said with cocky smile. “Since you were kind enough to hurry this trial along for us, we have some time to spare. Please, amuse us.”
“You’re not gonna find me so amusing in a few seconds,” I said. “In fact, once this whole farce is over with, I’m gonna track you all down, and we’re gonna have a lovely chat about that one time you tried to kill me.”
Jared snorted.
“You’re powerless here, Mr. Ashendale.” He sighed and smacked his gavel again. “This Court-”
“Of dickheads and fucktards has ceased to amuse me!”
I wasn’t the one who spoke.
Echoing inside the crystal room, Amaymon’s voice boomed louder than ever.
The ruby pendant beneath my shirt glowed blood-red and burned to a million degrees, eating a hole through my shirt. It exploded, light and magic filling every inch of the crystal courtroom.
Amaymon, in human form, appeared next to me, grinning maliciously as he extended both his middle fingers towards Jared and the rest of the Grigori.
“S’up, mothafuckas!”
Chapter 26
The Knights all rose at once, their lances stretching towards the demon.
With a swipe of his hand, Amaymon sent them all flying backwards, rock jutting from beneath their feet and slamming into their armor and shields.
He spun and smashed his fist into the podium in front of me, destroying the chains.
I spun, just in time to see Boromir, the Knight’s Captain, raise his billy club again, hatred in his eyes. I dodged and smacked my elbow into his nose. Concussed, he stumbled backwards. I snatched the billy club from his hand, smashed it against his temple and Boromir went down.
Keeping my momentum, I spun, once again facing the Grigori, all lined up behind the judge’s bench. I threw my arm back and launched the billy club at them. It flew straight for Jared’s nose but was intercepted mid-flight by Greg who snatched it out of the air.
Still, I got to see Jared’s panicked expression, eyes wide open.
“You didn’t check him?” he screamed at Mustafa.
“You assured me he couldn’t use magic without his weapons!” Mustafa yelled back.
I laughed at them. “Well, you must be feeling all kinds of stupid right about now.”
Jared turned to Mustafa, fuming. “Do something.”
Amaymon snarled and punched a Knight so hard a hole appeared in his chest. The dead soldier was sent flying back into the comrades, toppling them over like bowling balls.
The seals interwoven into the material of the room glowed. Mustafa had his hands together, intertwining his fingers in different positions, muttering beneath his breath. Nausea punched my stomach as the Abjuration field tripled in strength.
Even Amaymon faltered.
Jared let out a chuckle — none of the Grigori seemed to be affected by Mustafa’s sigil work.
“You are cut off from your element here, demon,” Jared spat.
Amaymon grinned, malice dripping from his presence. His power pushed against Mustafa’s and the ground shook.
Rock and stone rose in pillars, floating in front of the demon, much to the disbelief of the Grigori.
“Bitch, I am my element.”
He stomped the ground and rock exploded everywhere.
The crystalline structure of the room cracked and billowed into dust and shrapnel, all swirling around the laughing demon. One by one, Mustafa’s sigils exploded, sending backlashes of power into their creator.
Mustafa was thrown on the ground, while Jared began looking for a way out, running behind Akasha and my sister.
Amaymon brought his hands together, formed them into claws and with a yell of effort, raked the air. The ground, walls and ceiling parted, obeying his commands as my familiar tore the room apart.
Light exploded and we were once again in the warehouse.
The backlash of magic threw me into a column, slamming my head against the hard concrete. Blood began trickling but my healing magic soon took care of that problem.
The Knights and Grigori were also strewn about, lying on the floor and panting.
Only Amaymon stood tall and proud, still grinning.
“Round two,” he said.
Mephisto took a single step towards Amaymon, only for Gil to yell “NO!”
She got up. “Stand back, Mephisto. We cannot have you two fighting.”
Mephisto wrapped an arm around her and I was immediately on my feet. He may have been contracted to her, but Mephisto had once done the impossible: he had betrayed his previous master, our father.
Gil was certainly weak now — he could turn on her.
Instead, Mephisto helped his master up and allowed her to use him as a crutch.
Jared stood up, looking disheveled much to my delight. His hair was messed up and his suit stained. He glanced down at his watch, only to find it lying on the ground, shattered. He snarled at me.
“Knights!”
Only a few of them stood up, barely half their original numbers.
I made it next to Amaymon, standing back to back with him, as the Knights surrounded us. The demon stomped the ground and the concrete in front of me shifted, transmuting into a pair of swords that rose from the ground.
“Thanks,” I said, hefting my new weapons. They were heavy and awkward but better than nothing, especially when faced with knights in full armor.
“Kill them,” Jared ordered.
“Belay that!” Akasha brushed debris from her ebony hair. “Jared, you had your turn. And while you may be the official law administrator of our group, this situation has escalated beyond your control.”
She looked at me. “The same goes for you, Erik. We still have the girl.”
To emphasize her point, she pointed towards the Goat Boy who still held Abi under gunpoint.
“Is that how you wanna play th
is?” I asked. “You kill her and there’s nothing stopping me from holding back. And trust me, I have been holding back.”
She nodded and smiled. “I know. But so have we. Let us keep this civil then. No one needs to die in vain.”
The Knights suddenly stepped back, lining up neatly with their lances pointing up in the air.
I cocked my head at her and dropped my swords. They were immediately swallowed by the ground.
“Civil?” I nodded. “Yeah, I can do civil.”
“Since when?” Amaymon interjected.
“Shut up,” I hissed.
Then, to Akasha, “Why aren’t you in charge, instead of that prick?” I asked pointing at Jared.
He leered at me and said nothing.
Akasha shrugged. “Because I don’t care about administrative procedures.”
“You’re the muscle, then?”
She smiled and my heart did a little summersault. “So to speak.”
“No wonder we got on so well.”
She beamed. “I like to think we still do.”
“Kinda hard to trust you when you’re holding my apprentice hostage.”
“Son of a bitch!” Amaymon suddenly hollered. He squinted towards Goat Boy. “I thought I recognized that ugly mug from somewhere. Berphomet, is that you?”
“You know this guy?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Amaymon replied. “He used to be one of my brother’s boys.”
“He worked for Mephisto?”
“No, not that brother. There’s four of us, man. Berphy here used to work for my brother, Baal.” Amaymon chuckled. “Baal was the Demon Emperor’s top assassin. Cool as ice and sharp as a tick. Haven’t seen him in centuries.”
He smiled at Goat Boy. “S’up B-dawg. How’s it hangin’?”
Goat Boy — Berphomet — lowered his sunglasses and peered at Amaymon with his yellow goat eyes.
“Amaymon,” he acknowledged.
“Why you got my succubus, man?”
Berphomet shrugged, his revolver steadily aimed at Abi’s head.
“Orders,” he replied, cocking his head towards the Grigori. “Theirs.”
“I just kicked their ass,” Amaymon replied. “Gimme back my succubus.”
Abi yelled something at him through the gag she now had in her mouth.
“I don’t think she likes it when you refer to her as ‘your’ succubus,” I told Amaymon.
He frowned at her. “Now, you wanna nitpick? Now? With a gun to your head?”
She shrugged.
Amaymon looked at Berphomet. “See what I gotta deal with? Humans, am I right?”
“Sorry, Amaymon,” Berphomet replied. Nothing about his tone indicated he was sorry. “Orders are orders.”
Amaymon looked at me and rolled his eyes. “You see were civil gets us? I could just kill them all, but no! Erik wants to be civilized ‘cause the pretty lady said so.”
Akasha beamed at him.
“Thank you,” she replied. “It’s nice to be complemented by a species other than my own.”
“Amaymon, stop flirting with her,” I said.
He chuckled. “You’re just jealous ‘cause I got further in five seconds than you did in five hours.”
“I think I liked you better when you were a pendant,” I said. “Speaking of which…”
I tossed him the ruby pendant, which he attached to his neck.
“Is that how you managed to smuggle him inside?” Akasha asked. She looked at Gil. “You did not mention that particular trick.”
My sister shrugged.
“I’ve never heard of it,” she replied. “And it is certainly not something I would ever consider doing with my familiar.”
“Of course not,” I said. “Amaymon and I are true partners, not master and slave.”
Amaymon held up a peace sign. “Kumbaya, motherfuckers.”
“Interesting,” Akasha mused. “It seems you are more than just the sum of your parts, Erik. Greg was right. You are the man for the job.”
I looked at the Kresnik. “When did I agree to a job interview?”
“We chose you, Erik,” Greg said. “Although you did come highly recommended. Your sister holds you in high regard.”
Amaymon elbowed me. “Is it okay if I throw up? I’m not being rude, I’m just allergic to this cutesy crap.”
“Right behind you,” I said. “Okay, Greg. What job would this be? And why in the fuckity-fucks would I ever do something for you?”
“Because we are willing to trade the girl and your freedom in exchange for the Necronomicon,” Akasha said.
“Just like that?” I said. “You pull my string and I dance.”
Akasha cocked her head gently and smiled.
“So all I have to do is clean up a mess you started,” I said looking at Greg, “and then maybe I get to walk free.”
“You might still face future trials,” Greg said, “but not death. You would have served the Grigori and we will take that into account.”
“Do I get a badge?”
“Excuse me?”
I shrugged. “A badge. I think I’d want a badge.”
Greg shook his head.
“Okay, whatever,” I said. I looked at Abi. “You okay staying there for another few hours?”
She shook her head and nodded towards the gun, before rolling her eyes.
Even gagged and cuffed my apprentice still managed to give me attitude.
“If I’m gonna do this, we’re gonna do it my way,” I told Akasha. “That means I’m gonna need him,” I pointed at Amaymon, “and him.” I pointed at Greg.
“Why Greg?” she asked.
“Because he’s the only one who can deal with ghosts and spirits and all that crap.”
“This is true,” Greg said.
“And he’s the only one of you guys I’ve actually fought,” I added.
No need to elaborate on that bit — they got the message. If something went pear-shaped, Greg would be the first to get it.
A hostage for a hostage.
Hammurabi would be proud.
“I have no problem with volunteering,” Greg said. “I want to fight by your side one more time, Erik, and show you I am not a bad person.”
I snorted. “Let me guess: you’re just a victim of your circumstances?”
“No, I quite like working for the Grigori,” he replied. “Fantastic health insurance.”
He smiled and I rolled my eyes.
Great. Nothing worse than a Russian tough guy trying to be funny.
“Then it’s settled,” Akasha said. “Once you have completed your task, meet us back here.”
She turned and began walking away, towards the back of the warehouse.
Portals appeared like scabs in the air. Jared shot me a dirty look and was the first one through the portal. Mustafa said something to his assistant, who placed my coat and weapons on the ground, before both of them stepped through their own portal.
Akasha gave me a final smile and disappeared, along with Berphomet and Abi.
“Bye, Berphy,” Amaymon called after them. “Catch you later.”
“Good one,” I commented. “Very creepy.”
“I know, right? That was one of my best.”
“Gil,” I said, picking up my stuff and looking at my sister. “I’m gonna need the Necromancer too. Where is he?”
“We have him detained outside,” she said.
“Did he locate the Lich?”
“He said he needed more time.”
I growled. “Give me a second with him,” I said as I began walking outside.
I found a black unmarked van in the parking lot and opened the doors. The Necromancer lay inside, his hands cuffed together.
Without a word, I grabbed him by the hair and threw him on the ground.
“What the hell, man?”
“The Lich,” I roared. “Where is it?”
“I don’t-”
“Wrong answer.” I slammed his head on the tarmac. “Wanna try again?
”
“Ouch.”
“Dude, I’ve had a really bad day. Like, really bad. The kind that comes along once in a lifetime and fucks you up for the rest of your days.” I yanked his hair again. “So you better stop wasting my time and tell me what I wanna know.”
I didn’t add an “or else”.
Didn’t have to.
The Necromancer nodded and scrambled back into the van.
Gil rolled her eyes at me, while Greg sighed his disapproval.
“What?” I said. “That was civil… By my standards.”
Chapter 27
Okay, so maybe displacing my emotions onto the Necromancer was a tad unfair to him. Maybe I was really pissed off at Greg, and Akasha, and my sister, and that oversized dick called Jared — but they were the goddamn Grigori.
They controlled everything, created the rules, monitored every single magic user on this planet, from the heavy-hitters to the one-trick ponies doing party tricks.
Mouthing off was one thing. What I really wanted was to kick some ass and take names.
Couldn’t do that.
The Necromancer — well, the guy had it coming.
And besides, it got us results.
It was dawn when we ascended the mountain.
Yep. An honest-to-god mountain. Big one, too.
Amaymon, Greg and I took point, scaling its side, stopping at intervals to allow the Necromancer to catch his breath. The guy made me look like an Olympic athlete.
“Keep up,” Amaymon yelled, looking back at him.
The Necromancer wiped sweat off his face and wheezed. He looked like he was about to have a heart attack any moment now.
“I’m not sure,” he said, panting heavily, “as to why I am here exactly.”
“Unfortunately, you are the closest thing we have to an expert in this field on such short notice,” Greg patiently replied.
All of us stopped now, mid-way to the mountain peak.
“You will help me reverse any spell the Lich may have cast and lock it back in its jail,” Greg continued.
Amaymon slammed his fist into his own hand. “I never pummeled a mummy before.” He smirked. “Never had the opportunity.”
“Oh, it’s all the fun you can get from a museum piece,” I said. “Plus deadly Necromantic magic thrown in for good measure.”