“So?” Hannah snapped me out of my daze. My hands were on her belly as I kissed her forehead.
“So what, baby?”
“You’re still on cloud nine about the fact that I was right and it’s a boy, huh?” She giggled before kissing my cheek. “What do you think about this crib?”
“I think-” I felt the slight twitch beneath the palm of one of my hands. “Was that a kick?” My eyes shot down to her belly and then back up to her face.
She nodded with a wide grin.
“Oh, God!” I got down to my knees and kissed her belly through her shirt. Hannah’s hand feathered through the hair at the back of my head as she whispered “Do it again, slugger, do it for Daddy.”
“Daddy?” I heard coming from behind me, Hannah jumping with a gasp. “You’re pregnant?”
I got up, turned around and saw a tiny woman with a massive belly and a man standing behind her where they’d both had yet to introduce themselves.
“Dee!” Hannah exclaimed. I moved to stand behind Hannah, wrapping my arms around her waist, covering her small bulge with my hands in a gesture of protection.
“Well you haven’t wasted time, have you,” the woman said, but even though her words could have sounded judgemental, this Dee woman wore a beaming smile on her lips. And where in the hell had I heard that name before?
One look at Hannah, to gauge her reaction, and I found her returning Dee’s smile. As soon as I released her, she rushed to hug the woman.
“I’m so sorry I haven’t called,” Hannah said and the man that stood behind Dee walked around the two of them and stuck out his hand, smiling. “Blake.”
I took the man’s hand. “Ben.”
We ended up spending the next few hours in a nearby coffee shop talking with Dee and Blake.
Deidra or Dee – as she likes to be called by her friends – is Hannah’s best friend. Because of Lee, the women hadn’t spoken since before the accident. Hannah had voiced at one point that she wasn’t quite ready to re-enter the world of her past just yet.
Watching the two women interact as if they’d never missed a beat put a smile on my face. Hannah needed this. It’s not that she was without friends, but they were from my bunch of people. She needed people that knew her past and that were willing to stand by her side well into her future, people that weren’t her parents.
“So how’d you two meet?” Dee finally asked as Blake kissed the side of his wife’s temple before leaning in to listen to the story.
By the time Hannah and I told them the entire tale, Deidra was rendered to a complete blubbering mass of tears consoled by her husband whose gaze was soft toward my girlfriend.
“I’m so relieved.” Deidra made a grab for Hannah’s hand. “I would have come to visit. I tried to go into the shop once, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk through those doors and see how broken you were. Not with these hormones. I was terrified of how’d you react if you saw me after I found out from your mom that you had lost the baby.”
“You talked to my parents?” Dee wiped at her cheeks and nodded. “I love you, you know that Dee? I should have reached out. Why-?”
I rubbed Hannah’s back. “Because you’re still worried about what those who are close to you will think,” I told her. “Lee’s parents ensured that with the way they treated you, sweetheart. And let’s face it, it’s not like you told everyone that you and Lee were separated, even though you guys tried to make another go at it.” I looked at the couple across the table from us and both their faces darkened.
“I’m sorry about you losing the baby, honey,” Deidra whispered, voice shaking with another bout of emotion.
“I’m sorry I ignored you for the last four months.” Hannah squeezed the woman’s hand.
“You’re happy now, right?” her friend asked, and Blake’s as well as his wife’s gazes were fixed on Hannah in assessment.
Hannah looked at me and said with utmost confidence, “Blissfully.”
“Oh, thank God!” I dramatically clutched at my chest, then dropped the hand to Hannah’s belly. “I thought that we had only shacked up because of this little guy.” Hannah rolled her eyes at me while the other two laughed. “I love you,” I threw in and kissed her temple.
“I like this guy,” Deidra pointed her thumb in my direction.
“Thanks.” Hannah dropped her head on my shoulder, releasing a peaceful sigh. “I think I’ll keep him. I kind of like him too.”
“You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.” This made Blake chuckle.
When Deidra and Blake left us, Hannah and I headed toward the car to get home.
“I love seeing you like this.” I stopped to open her door for her. “I have to say that I’ve been seeing a lot more of those smiles lately.”
“It’s because you make me so happy.”
“You’re sure it’s not the foot rubs or the sex?”
“I’m sure both have a great deal to do with it, but I loved you before we ever slept together, baby,” she said. “Now, hurry up! You mentioning sex only reminded me of a few little things I’ve been meaning to do to you.”
“Fuck me,” I mumbled under my breath as my body went taut.
Nudging my jaw to shut my mouth, she smirked up at me and said, “That’s the idea,” before taking her seat, and buckling herself in.
Chapter 59
As Hannah’s twenty-fifth week arrived, so did the day of her baby shower.
And I was anxious.
I hadn’t told Hannah why it was that I was so tired by the time the sun set on each day over the last week. She assumed that it was because work was hectic. I never told her any different.
A week after meeting Blake and Deidra, Hannah and I had invited them over for dinner. As per their usual fashion, Mike and Nicole came and crashed our small get-together.
Needless to say – after a few group events – Deidra, Nicole and Danica hit things off so well that they got together to organize Hannah’s baby shower with help from Mom and Anne.
I think our mothers loved being part of the whole process just as much as I enjoyed not having to deal with any of it this past week, since I had my own workload to deal with.
You see, there’s a reason I was exhausted. And like you might have guessed, it wasn’t because I’d been working at the pub. Despite a week off from Fairfax, I hadn’t stopped, and stress was definitely a contributing factor to my exhaustion, not to mention my climbing anxiety.
“Ben!” Hannah called after I’d heard the doorbell. “Nikki and Dee are here.” I knew it was my cue to take the men out back and get the beer flowing.
Showers weren’t a coed kind of thing, but since none of the men had plans, Hannah mentioned that we should have a barbecue afterward so I’d have some guy time. I agreed, seeing as it was a great way to stay away from a bunch of squealing ladies that would most definitely be fawning over cute outfits, booties, loads of diapers, and gift baskets that we were bound to receive. Hannah might not know it yet, but the get-together would end up serving a dual purpose.
“Coming!” I called out.
With one assessing look that told me everything was perfect, I shut the door and headed downstairs.
The gifts were opened and my entire living room looked like a baby store had exploded in it. I think we were ready for a set of triplets by the amount that had taken over the room, but I could deal with the surplus, having loved how Hannah had been doted upon. The beaming smile the mother of my son wore on her face throughout the day was testament to her joy and proof that she was loved by everyone around her.
“Hey there, handsome.” Hannah hugged me from behind as I was putting the last of the food on the grill.
I set the flipper to the side and turned to wrap my arms around her. “Hey there, sweetheart, having fun?”
She nodded vigorously. “The best time, only…” Her brows furrowed.
“What is it?”
“I just heard from Derek’s girlfriend that you haven’t been at w
ork this week.”
Fuck!
I looked around at all of our family, the friends, the kids, the joy that surrounded us, and realized that despite my original plan to do what I’d planned once we were alone, there was no better time than the present.
I held out my hand to her. “I have something to show you. It’ll explain everything, I promise.”
Hannah took my hand and I turned to see Mike giving me an inquiring look. I headed toward the house and nodded in the barbecue’s direction and mouthed “turn it off and follow” while I made a circular motion with my free hand meaning he should get everyone to tag along.
I brought Hannah upstairs and down the hall from our bedroom.
“You know those clippings from those baby magazines you’ve been keeping with the rest of the ideas of what you wanted for the nursery?” I asked her.
She nodded and after a fraction of a second, her eyes widened. “You didn’t.”
Grinning, I said, “I did,” and turned the knob, pushing the door inward.
Hannah gasped and her hands flew up to her mouth as she took in the sight around her.
I’d painted, changed the carpet, assembled the furniture and set up the room in the way I knew Hannah had envisioned.
With a bit of help from the girls, I got the decorations, some story books, even the lounging chair where I was sure mother, father, and baby would surely be bonding in the dead of the night during feeding times.
Hannah walked further into the room, running her hands over the furniture and I heard her sniffle. “This is beautiful, Ben,” she said on an emotionally drawn breath. She reached for the stuffed toy I had set in the middle of the crib: the miniature blanket-looking bear that had scripture on its chest that read Little Angel. “It’s pink.”
“It was Karen’s,” I said as I approached Hannah and stopped right behind her. “I figured that even though she wasn’t mine by blood that she was still mine in my heart, and she would look out for our little guy when he gets here.”
Hannah squeezed the plush toy to her chest and set it back down. “It still smells like baby,” she whispered and my breath caught in my throat.
I heard some rustling behind me, followed by a few gasps and I knew everyone was there for this moment.
“Hannah,” I said since she was still so taken with the room that she had yet to turn to face me.
“Hmm?” She wiped a tear from her cheek.
“Sweetheart?” I moved to take a knee at her side and pulled out the ring.
Her hand came to settle on my shoulder, but she still hadn’t looked my way. Instead, she said, “What are you doing, Benjamin, get up.”
Giggles funnelled through the doorway and she turned to those instead of me.
“Look at me, woman! I’m trying to do this right, but you’re too distracted.” A few of our onlookers snickered.
Hannah’s eyes flew down to mine and her eyes welled up with more tears.
“I love you, Hannah.” I was having a hell of a time pushing away the ball of emotion clogging my throat. “So much. You’ve brought me back to life with your smiles, your words, your presence, your…well, let’s not go there with kids here.” I winked, bringing forth a teary giggle. “You said that it was fate…kismet. It’s true. I’ve never been this happy in my entire life, sweetheart.” And then I went in for the kill. “Marry me, Hannah. Marry me because I want that same dream with the white picket fence that you do.”
“You’ve already built me one of those.” Everyone laughed, while the boys groaned.
“Marry me because I want babies with you,” I persisted.
“We got a head start on that now haven’t we?” I tried not to laugh. Instead, I shook my head at her smart-assed comment. The woman had an answer for everything.
“Marry me because without the house, the fence, the friends, the babies, you’re all I need to survive in this world. Hannah, you’re my life, my world, my home, my everything.”
“Are you shitting me right now?” she blurted and lifted her head and looked toward the door. “What do you think, Mike?”
“Put the man out of his misery, Hannah,” he said.
I grinned at his words.
“For goodness sakes, Hannah, stop teasing the man and give him the answer I know you’ve been dying to give him for a while now,” Anne threw in.
“You’re right, Mom.” She looked down to me before getting to her knees. “I wouldn’t want to be punished for toying with your head now would I?” She smirked at her double-entendre. “Mrs. Benjamin Carpenter, it has a nice ring to it.”
“It does. So what’s your answer?” I knew what it was, but it seemed as if our little show was keeping our family and friends on pins and needles, and toying with them was almost as much fun as toying with each other. Almost.
“Did you really have to ask?” She grabbed my face. “Yes, Ben, my answer is ‘yes’. I would have married you a month ago, yesterday, today, tomorrow, ten years, even a hundred years from now. So, Benjamin Carpenter, yes, I will marry you.”
With that, I grabbed the back of Hannah’s head with one hand and went in slow, fusing my lips to hers. I wanted to savor this moment, the feeling of completeness, of joy, of peace that came with it.
I pulled back, grabbed her hand to slide the diamond inlay white gold band with the large three diamonds at its top onto her left-hand ring finger. “What do you think?” I pecked the top of her hand before holding it so she could admire the band.
Her breath caught in her throat. “It’s really beautiful, but I would have been happy with a twist-tie if it’s all you had. I already knew you were mine for life; this only solidifies it. I love you so much.” She kissed me but this time, I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as she returned the gesture.
“Break it up, kids,” Dad said. “We have minors here.”
“And I’m hungry,” Mike added.
“When are we eating, Daddy?” Jasper asked Paxton, and as I got up and helped Hannah to her feet, I turned and crouched down to face the little guy.
“Tell you what, buddy,” I said, “we’ll go downstairs after all these hugs and kisses and you can help me flip the last few burgers once I get the grill fired up again.”
Jasper turned to his father, bouncing on the tip of his toes. “Can I, Daddy?”
“If Ben says it’s okay, then go for it, but be careful.”
“Let’s do this!” he shouted his excitement as he rubbed his little hands together and licked his lips. He gave me a quick hug and jumped at Hannah with the same treatment before running straight for the stairs, making us all laugh. “Hurry up guys, Mike’s starving!”
Chapter 60
I finished cleaning up after everyone had left and decided to go check on Hannah. I found her where I suspected she would be. What surprised me was that everything we had received had already been neatly stowed away, and my fiancée was sitting in the chair I envisioned us spending some long nights in. She had a book in her hand and was reading it aloud to herself. It was Robert Munsch’s I’ll love you forever. I remembered reading it to Karen every night since the day she was brought home. I planned on doing the same when our little guy graced us with his presence.
Leaning against the doorway, I was mesmerized by the woman who had only hours before agreed to be my wife. The thought of it made my stomach flutter with excitement.
When she finished reading, she set the book on the side table, stuck out her left hand and admired her ring. She sighed and leaned her head back, smiling in pure contentment as she rubbed her belly.
“I have to say the sight of you like this makes me want to do it all over again.” I moved from the doorway and crouched down in front of her.
Her palm cupped my cheek. “You’re amazing.”
Grinning, I said, “Funny, I think so too.” Her hand withdrew and she smacked my shoulder. “But I think it’s time for bed, beautiful.”
She yawned. “I think you might be right.” As I helped her to her f
eet, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me softly. “I can’t believe you did all this.”
“I had a bit of help from the girls,” I confessed.
“Still…”
“I’d do anything for you, Hannah.” I rubbed her back.
“I see that.” She gave me a drowsy but sweet smile. “Can I add one more thing to today’s list of honey-do’s?”
“I think I can be persuaded to oblige.” I kissed her nose before smiling down at her.
I’d stripped Hannah to nothing and made her lay down before taking my own clothes off. Crawling over her, my hands slid over her heated skin. “You’re so beautiful.” I kissed around her baby bump.
Her internal walls clenched and released in a slow rhythm as I eased into her depths, settling her over my lap, while I kneeled in the middle of our bed.
The heightened sex drive was one thing about Hannah’s pregnancy that was great. I hadn’t counted on the fact that she’d make me feel like a god, but her increased sensitivity was outstanding, and worked to my advantage at every turn. Hell, I’d even managed to set her off with her still wearing multiple layers of clothing. It was sexy as hell, and I enjoyed giving her release whenever and wherever I saw fit, knowing that I would get mine at some point down the line, usually never having to wait too long.
“God, baby,” I mumbled into her neck.
Hannah’s nails raked up my back, then her hands fisted themselves in my hair. She pulled back, tilting my head and began to nip, lick, and suckle on my skin.
Her rhythm picked up with a sudden urgency that sent my balls tightening ready for total release.
My hands grabbed her hips and helped her on the upstroke while she’d let herself drop over my shaft.
She pulled back so she could capture my lips with hers and moaned into my mouth as I felt the spasms that brought me to completion with her.
To Forgive & Hold Safe (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 4) Page 19