by Julie Kenner
“What?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Come on, Larson. Every demon wants something. But unless he’s got someone in San Diablo doing his dirty work—mortal or demon—then I’d have to say that we’re not exactly at Code Red, you know?”
“That’s hardly responsible.”
“Responsible?” It had been a hellacious twenty-four hours, and the last thing I needed was a lecture on responsibility. “I’m drowning in responsible.” I started ticking off on my fingers. “Car pool, playdates, PTA. Not to mention making sure my family has food to eat and clothes to wear and—if they’re lucky—no science experiments breeding in the bathtub. Those,” I said, “are my responsibilities.”
He opened his mouth, but I wasn’t finished.
“And your responsibility is to handle the research side of the relationship,” I said. “Or did Forza change that policy, too?”
“All right.” He nodded slowly. “You make a good point. But my ability to work will be hampered by my job. The records I’d like to review are in the cathedral archives, and I’ll be in court most days working.”
That finger of guilt poked harder. I sighed, on the verge of caving. “Research isn’t exactly my thing. I didn’t even finish high school.” More accurately, I didn’t even go to high school. The Church provided tutors, of course, but it was a nomadic, hit-or-miss kind of education. I spent my youth never expecting to make it to the next sunrise. “This is a little out of my league.”
“I’m hardly asking you to translate ancient texts, Kate. You will only have to review what’s already in the archives. And I’ve already done some of the legwork. I have a few leads. With your help, I can track them down.”
That should be easy enough. I could tell Delores that I’d like to add another layer of responsibility to my volunteer work. So long as I didn’t cut back on the secretarial duties, she’d probably welcome my additional help. The Church had hired actual archivists to work on the rare and valuable stuff. But there were tons of donations still to sort through. From there, I figured I could wrangle a peek at whatever records Larson might be interested in. “All right,” I finally said.
“Excellent.”
I held up a finger, wanting to hold him off until I was sure we were on the same page. “I’ll help with the research, but until we see some solid evidence that Goramesh has demons on the case, I’m not rearranging my whole life. For all we know, we just buried his only corporeal minion. Fair enough?”
His brow furrowed, but he nodded. “Of course. You make an excellent point. Until circumstances indicate that alacrity is called for, there’s no need to rush through the research.”
I gave him credit for being perfectly agreeable. I, however, felt like a prickly bitch. “Good. Great.”
Except it wasn’t good or great. I couldn’t be absolutely certain that I’d killed San Diablo’s only walking, talking demon. And no stinky-breathed fiend was going to put my kids in danger. Not if I had any say in the matter. “Wait here,” I said. I trotted to my pantry, grabbed a Swiffer dust mop and a Swiffer wet mop, and brought them back to the living room with me. I handed the wet mop to Larson.
From his expression, I could tell he thought I was in the throes of some sort of mental breakdown.
“I’ve got two kids and a husband who have no clue what’s going on. If there are any more demons in San Diablo, I intend to be ready for them.”
I’d never fenced with Swiffer handles before, and I’m certain that Larson hadn’t, either. But he didn’t protest (well, not too much) as I led him to the backyard. For the record, I actually do own real equipment. Unfortunately, I’d buried it all years ago in the very back of the storage shed, and I had no intention of tackling that project again. The Swiffer handles would work well enough, at least for the quickie session I had in mind.
I marched into the graveled area of the yard, came en garde, and waited for Larson to catch up. “Don’t hold back,” I said as he took his own position. “And while we spar, you can fill me in on everything you already know about Goramesh.”
As it turned out, he was pretty damn good, giving me quite a run for my money, and working me hard enough that neither one of us was doing much talking. We’d been at it for about ten minutes—my footwork cutting geometric paths in the gravel and the Swiffer handles doggedly hanging in there during our lunges and ripostes—when I heard the van pull up, followed by the telltale churning of the garage door opening.
I looked at my watch, quite unable to comprehend that they were home already. I caught Larson’s eye, unreasonably peeved to see that he didn’t look the least bit flustered.
“What should we tell them?” I asked.
“Not the truth,” he said.
“Gee, you think?”
“There’s no need for sarcasm, Kate.”
“On the contrary, I think the situation practically demands it.”
“We’ll simply say I came over looking for Stuart. To discuss his campaign. Don’t worry. It won’t be as bad as you think.”
Seven
To his credit (and to my relief), it turned out that Judge Larson could bullshit with the best of them. We were back in the house and he was seated at the kitchen table when Allie barreled through the door, almost plowing me over in the process.
“Mom! Mom! Check it out!” She waved a shopping bag at me as I dumped out the old morning coffee and started a new pot, hoping I looked like I’d been doing nothing more than puttering around the house all day. “I got five Tommy Hilfiger shirts at Nordstrom. They had a whole table marked seventy-five percent off and Stuart said I could have one of each, and I got a couple for Mindy, too, and—” She clamped her mouth shut, finally noticing the man sitting at the table. “Oh. Hi.”
I could tell she was trying hard to be polite by not demanding to know who he was. I stepped in to fill the gap, but Larson got there first.
“You must be Allie,” he said, standing. “I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Mark Larson.”
“Oh.” Allie looked at me, and I smiled in an encouraging mom manner. She hesitated, then held out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Katie?” Stuart’s voice drifted in from the garage as I heard the van door slide shut. “Whose car is that? Have you got compan—Judge.” Stuart stood in the doorway, Timmy clinging to him like a baby monkey. Stuart recovered quickly enough, then stepped all the way into the room. “Judge Larson. Sorry. I wasn’t expecting to see you.” He kissed me, but the gesture seemed distracted. I couldn’t blame him. As for me, I was holding my breath. How did spouses who cheat handle it? One tiny little indiscretion and I was already sweating bullets. (Okay, maybe the indiscretion wasn’t so tiny, but still . . . )
I held my arms out for Timmy, and Stuart passed the munchkin to me, then went over to shake hands with the judge. “When did you get here? Have you been waiting long? I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I didn’t realize you’d be coming over.” His sentences crashed over one another, and under other circumstances I might be amused. Today, I wasn’t.
Before Larson could answer, Stuart frowned, then looked toward me. I busied myself with kissing Tim (who was quietly begging for Teddy Grahams, but any minute would surely erupt into full-fledged howls). “Actually,” Stuart said, turning back to the judge, “I suppose I should ask why you’re here.”
Larson laughed, the sound hearty and cordial. “I apologize for barging in like this. I was in the neighborhood looking at a few houses, and I noticed your car in the driveway.” He gestured at me. “Kate explained that you’d switched cars, but she was nice enough to offer me a cup of coffee while I waited for you.”
Stuart-my-husband may have been surprised to find Larson in the kitchen, but Stuart-the-politician stepped seamlessly into the fray. “This is good karma on a number of levels,” Stuart-the-politician said, pulling out the chair across from Larson and sitting down. “I didn’t think we had nearly enough time to chat last night, and I’d been planning on giving you a call Monday morning. I was thinking we might talk more ov
er lunch or drinks.”
“I’d like that,” Larson said. “Clark speaks so highly of you.”
They segued into a political banter that I was beginning to find familiar, and I put Timmy down, grateful to relieve myself of his thirty-two pounds of girth. He immediately started tugging on the kitchen cabinets, testing the child-proof latches in a familiar daily ritual. When he came to the one cabinet I keep unsecured, he pulled out two saucepans and a wooden spoon and gleefully settled in for the afternoon concert.
“Hon?” Stuart’s voice rose over the din.
“Sorry.” I leaned over Tim. “Come on, buddy. Let’s get you out of here.”
“No. Mine. Mine.” He grabbed hold of the pots and didn’t let go. The amount of strength contained in the hand of a two-year-old never ceases to amaze me. I aimed a he’s-your-son-too look at Stuart as I resorted to that age-old mothering trick—bribery. “We can watch Elmo.”
That got him. The little bugger abandoned his makeshift studio and trotted happily toward the living room.
I looked around for Allie, hoping to enlist her as a babysitter, but she’d managed to slip away. Probably already on the phone to Mindy. No problem. Elmo could handle babysitting duty.
I shoved Tim’s favorite tape into the VCR and waited until he was entranced. As soon as he’d calmed down enough, I’d take him upstairs and try to urge him into a late-afternoon nap. Until then I left Elmo in charge and headed back to the kitchen and the men. Not the most conscientious parenting option, I know, but I was desperate. And if I’m being honest, I park the kid in front of the television for lesser reasons all the time. As far as I can tell, he isn’t warped yet.
Actually, I couldn’t get back to the kitchen fast enough. I’d left Larson and Stuart alone, and that didn’t sit well. Stupid, I know. It’s not like Larson was going to accidentally mention there were demons in town any more than he was going to casually announce that back in my prime I could easily kill a dozen of them before breakfast.
No, there wasn’t anything tangible fueling my discomfort. But I was determined to be present nonetheless. (This was my crisis, after all. And if I wanted to sit in on the deathly dull political chitchat and convince myself I was preventing some catastrophe, then by God, that’s what I was going to do.)
Five minutes later I was regretting my decision. They were talking about Gallup polls and voting districts and a bunch of other political mumbo jumbo. I tuned out. I’m not even sure what I was thinking about—though I’m pretty sure demons were involved—when Stuart tapped the table in front of me.
“Honey?”
I jumped, my hand flying to my throat. “Timmy?” I could tell immediately he was fine. I could see him standing on the couch facing the backyard as he jumped up and down, singing “C is for Cookie” in time (more or less) with Cookie Monster.
“No, sorry. It’s just the back door. It’s probably Mindy.”
“Oh. Right. Sure.”
From the breakfast table you can see most of the living room, but not the back door. (Thus my odd perspective of the jumping child who was obviously, now that I had all the information, greeting Mindy in his own exuberant little way.) The layout’s the major downside of this house, actually. I have to move to the living room if Timmy is playing on the back porch—otherwise I can’t see him. Which means using the backyard as a distraction while I put away dishes doesn’t work. Not unless I want my kid wandering free in the wild like Tarzan.
As it turns out, Stuart was right, and I opened the door to Mindy and Laura. “Hey,” I said. “Come join the party.” I noticed that Mindy was schlepping not only three paper shopping bags (Nordstrom, Saks, and The Gap), but she also had her familiar canvas duffel slung over one arm. Apparently the kid was here for the long haul.
“You don’t mind, do you?” Laura said, catching the direction of my gaze.
I waved a hand. “Of course not,” I lied. I usually didn’t mind having Mindy sleep over. Tonight, though, I was craving peace and quiet. I had a feeling it might be a long time before I had another shot at that again. “Allie’s upstairs,” I added to Mindy. “In fact, I’d assumed she was talking to you on the phone.”
“She was,” Mindy said. “But we figured I might as well come over. Can we really watch a movie and have pizza after we show off our clothes?”
“Absolutely,” I said, hoping no one else could tell that I’d completely forgotten my earlier plans with Laura for a pizza and fashion extravaganza.
Oh, well. Quiet is highly overrated anyway.
As Mindy bounded toward the staircase with an energy I envied, Laura eyed me with curiosity. Like a reflex, I rubbed my upper lip, as if I might have an errant smear of chocolate there. “What?”
She shook her head, looking slightly discombobulated, and I felt myself begin to worry. About what, I wasn’t sure. But of late, I was trusting my instincts. And something was going on with my friend. Something that I desperately hoped was of the nondemonic variety. “Come on, Laura,” I said. “Spill it.”
We were still by the back door, and now I reached down to lock it, the familiar ritual all the more important lately.
“It’s nothing. Really. Or at least it’s none of my business.”
“What’s not?” Her comment was cryptic, but it made me feel better. Nosiness I could handle. She leaned against the wall facing me, her back toward the kitchen. Beyond her, I could hear the scrape of chairs against the tile as Larson and Stuart continued their conversation. “I feel like an idiot even saying something.”
I held on to the doorknob like a crutch. Now that my fear had dissolved, I was both curious and amused. “Come on,” I said. “Give.”
“It’s silly.” She made a fluttery motion with her hands, and her cheeks actually flushed. I felt my brow furrow. This was weird. Then she took a step forward, her cheeks flaming. “Is everything okay with you and Stuart? I mean, you aren’t, um, having an . . .” She trailed off, her head bobbing back and forth in a fill-in-the-blank kind of way.
My mind riffled through the possibilities, my own face flushing when I realized what she had to be thinking. “Of course not!” I said. “Everything’s fine with me and Stuart. Everything’s great!” I sounded overly enthusiastic even to my ears. Everything was okay. But I still had guilt. Because even though everything was just fine in the way Laura was thinking (an affair?!), I was keeping secrets from my husband. Secrets of the big, juicy variety. “Why on earth would you ask that?”
Relief flooded her features. “Thank God. I knew it was an idiotic question. I just . . .” She shrugged, then shook her head, then tossed up her hands. She looked a little bit like a puppet controlled by a spastic master.
“Laura . . .”
“Well, I didn’t know what to think. I saw you in the yard sparring with that older man, and you guys looked so familiar, and I just thought that something must be going on.”
Something was, but not that. “If you’d found me crawling around under the house, would you have assumed I had a thing for the plumber?”
“Hardly. But your fencing partner didn’t seem like the butt-crack type.”
“Don’t dis plumbers,” I said. “You’ll find yourself with a backed-up sink on Christmas Day, and then where will you be?”
“I take it back,” she said, holding up three fingers in typical Boy Scout fashion. “But what were you doing? I mean, fencing in the backyard with that man? I didn’t know you fenced. And you weren’t even using swords.”
“Fencing?” Stuart’s voice. Followed quickly by the man himself as he stepped into the living room from the kitchen, Judge Larson at his side.
I stifled the urge to curse, and pasted on a happy-homemaker smile as I considered all the possible lies I could tell. None sounded very convincing.
Laura was still facing me, and she mouthed I’m sorry, before turning around to face Stuart. I could tell by the way her shoulders stiffened a half second later that she hadn’t expected to see Larson there, too. And I couldn’t real
ly blame her when the words “Oh, you” flew from her lips.
I cleared my throat. “Laura Dupont, meet Judge Mark Larson.”
Because Laura is well trained, she moved toward him, her hand held out in greeting. If I’d hoped that such pleasantries would distract Stuart, though, I was sadly disappointed.
“This may sound naïve,” he said. “But why on earth were you two fencing? Were you fencing?”
“Ah,” I said, and then closed my mouth, realizing I had nothing to say. I twisted slightly, looking to Laura for help, but she’d already dropped Larson’s hand and was now backing toward the stairs. “I’m going to go check on the girls,” she said. Yeah, Laura. Thanks a bunch.
I returned my focus to the problem at hand, a rather lame “um” the only response I could come up with. Not exactly at my bullshitting best. Larson laid his hand on Stuart’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He was pulling out all the grandfatherly stops, and I figured I owed him one for that.
“Self-defense,” Larson said, and I decided we were now even. That response I could have come up with.
“Self-defense,” Stuart repeated.
“Right,” I said, because now that he’d put it out there, I was stuck. “And, um, exercise.”
Stuart continued to stare at me, his expression perplexed but interested. Fortunately, I saw no signs that he was contemplating having me committed or, worse, that he thought I was having an affair with Larson (where the heck did she get that idea?).
The silence hung there, and I kept waiting for Larson to fill it. When he didn’t, I jumped into the breach. “It’s a crazy world out there. And, um, I should know how to take care of myself.” Since Stuart was still silent, I rushed on, warming to my theme. “You’re working longer hours, staying late to confer with Clark, and I’m home alone with the kids.” I started ticking points off on my fingers. “Allie will have tons of after-school activities this year. I’ll be picking her up late—with Tim in the car. It just seemed reasonable that I be prepared.”