by Jan Springer
He belonged to her. They were one.
Brady was hard to the point of pain, yet he couldn’t let himself fall into the precipice of pleasure because afterward, he’d have to let JJ go. He didn’t want to. He loved her soft curves pressing against him. Loved palming her hips as he held her tight so he could thrust in and out of her.
JJ always smelled sweet. He liked her delicate scent. Not perfume, but like a gentle flower that teased and stimulated his senses. She smelled just right.
Brady knew he was sometimes aggressive with her. Like now. To think that she’d been here all alone and frightened during a storm made his chest ache. He groaned with frustration. He didn’t want her to be scared. But he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to protect her all the time. Ranch life was tough, and she would have some harsh times coming when he and Rafe and Dan were away.
Dan. Where the hell are you?
He groaned his frustration. He needed to stay in the present. Needed to stay inside JJ. His passion for her, it blinded him and he forced himself to move toward the cavern of love and pleasure.
Brady thrust harder into her and he smiled as she bucked and keened between them.
Yeah, his love for her terrified him. But it also made him feel like a whole man. Like JJ had been the missing link in his life. She was perfect. She belonged to him.
He trust once, twice, three times and joined JJ in the pleasure realm.
Blue swallowed against her dry throat and waved a hand in front of her hot face as she retreated quietly up the stairs from where she’d descended a few minutes earlier. She’d been awakened by the cracks of thunder, but she’d also thought she’d heard an unusual sound drifting up from downstairs. She’d hoped that Dan had returned. But that idea had been dumb.
Cruising around in a thunderstorm on an atv wasn’t the smartest thing for him to do, and Dan was pretty smart and seasoned having been out here for several years, so Blue doubted he’d returned. But the sounds had continued and actually gotten louder.
Despite not totally believing Dan was back, she’d gone down the hall to investigate the odd noises that she could only compare to as to that of maybe a cat in heat. But she’d never seen cats around on this ranch.
As she passed Rafe’s door, it had been open and she’d peeked inside. Down the hall JJ’s door was open too, and her room empty. She knew Brady had his bedroom on the main floor near their office, because she’d slept in it the time she’d been over when they’d helped deliver her baby.
Just thinking of her wee baby at home, alone with the sitter, made an ache rock through Blue. Making the delivery here to the Moose Ranch had been her last run of the day with two days off ahead of her. She’d wanted to go home and be with her daughter, but with Dan missing, she hadn’t wanted to leave her friends in a lurch. So she’d stayed.
Another sound whispered through the air. Perhaps they were already up?
When she’d tiptoed down the stairs to take a look…
Blue couldn’t believe what she’d just witnessed — Rafe and Brady, totally naked, and JJ between them, just as naked. They’d been standing in the living room. The two guys had been fucking JJ. During the flashes of lightning, she’d spied the exquisite pleasure washing over JJ’s face.
She couldn’t believe that she had actually stayed to watch them have sex and while doing so, envy for JJ had whipped through her, making her want something so beautiful for herself too.
Blue shook her head as she stole back into the guest room. She wished she could simply jump out the window and into the lake for a cold swim.
My goodness! JJ was one lucky girl, having two men making love to her like that. She wondered if Dan knew about the ménage a trois.
Wow, what a way to blow off tension.
Another idea suddenly shot a jolt of shock through her.
How in the world was she going to face them after having witnessed the three of them having sex?
Blue cursed softly and climbed back into bed.
* * * * *
Rafe frowned as he drove his all-terrain vehicle down a dip, splashed through a knee-high creek and brought up the other side of the embankment. Due to the storms, they hadn’t been able to go out until late morning. The rain had washed away any trace of which trails Dan might have used. The wind had made trees fall like matchsticks onto some of the smaller trails and they’d been clearing the trails with chainsaws as they went searching for Dan for the better part of the afternoon. They still hadn’t found him.
But yeah, the minute he got his hands on Dan, he was going to shake the shit out of him. He should have left more specific instructions in his note to JJ as to exactly where he was going and which trails he’d be sticking to. It would have made life a whole hell of a lot easier.
Dan had always been a bit careless and carefree about not being specific enough as to his whereabouts. He had changed in that respect the instant JJ had shown up on the ranch late last year. Since then, Dan had been bragging at the dinner table about all the work he did to impress her.
Rafe grinned. All of them had been trying to impress JJ. She was the sweetest, sexiest and most beautiful woman he’d ever met. Not to mention so damned lovable that every time he thought about her, his heart just beat happy.
As Rafe swung onto yet another offshoot trail, he suddenly noticed trees had already been cut.
Finally! Dan had been here at one point. Now all they needed to do was follow this trail. Rafe stopped his vehicle and waited on the trail for Brady to join him. He watched his friend rev his own vehicle and frowned as Brady drove through the gushing creek like a demon possessed and burst up the muddy embankment.
He spied the grim set to Brady’s jaw. It appeared he was just as pissed and worried about Dan. As Brady caught up to Dan, his gaze lit up as he spied the cleared trees.
“Fuck! Where the hell is he?” Brady growled.
“He has to be around here somewhere. At least now we have something to go on,” Rafe replied.
As Brady angrily motioned for Rafe to continue ahead, Rafe cursed Dan once again and started up the trail.
If they didn’t find Dan by nightfall, they were going to have to call in a search party, Brady thought as he followed Rafe. The trail they were on now would eventually lead them back to the ranch. Dan had come through here. He’d cleared the trail. He had somehow returned to the ranch while Rafe and himself had been out looking for him. Or he was in trouble.
Unfortunately, cell phones didn’t work out here. It appeared investing in some satellite phones might finally be in order.
What the hell had Dan been thinking not leaving a proper note anyway? Notes had worked in the past. The thing was, Dan hadn’t been thinking, and his occasional carelessness irritated the hell of Brady. He should never have allowed Dan to slack off the way he had when it came to claiming his whereabouts onto paper or telling someone before he went out to work where he was going during the day.
The thing was, working on a ranch wasn’t too predictable. Unexpected things always came up that would screw with plans. But still…
Brady had been mentally chastising Dan so intently that he was heading toward Rafe, who had stopped his machine and was now standing right smack on the trail in Brady’s way!
“What the fuck, man?” Brady shouted as he swung his machine off the trail to avoid hitting Rafe. He rammed the vehicle into several small saplings that hopefully wouldn’t do much damage.
Brady shut off his vehicle and jumped off his machine, cursing Rafe for being just as careless as Dan.
But Rafe didn’t appear to take offence. Instead, he pointed to an abandoned atv further along the trail.
Shit.
They had found Dan’s vehicle. But where was Dan?
* * * * *
“Oh JJ, the view is just beautiful from the sky. That sunset tonight…with the wisps of pinks and purples lacing the puffy white clouds, it would seriously take your breath away seeing it from above. Not to mention the freedom of just being alive
as you fly right through the clouds.
It is an unbelievable freedom. It’s a view that most humans never get,” Blue said as she helped JJ fork some hay into a barn stall where a very pregnant cow lounged.
“I’m sure it is beautiful, but I just don’t know if my anxiety will prevent me from ever getting up into the sky again,” JJ admitted.
“Yeah, Kelly told me that you had a problem with anxiety and panic attacks. But people overcome these things all the time. She said she sent you a couple of books and some links to check out online.”
“I really haven’t had the time to do any in-depth reading and I seriously don’t think there is an easy cure for my issues.”
“You need to make the time, JJ. Educating yourself on your problem is already half the battle won. Did Kelly tell you I had a problem with anxiety myself when I was younger?”
JJ shook her head. Blue had had issues too? That was impossible. She appeared so confident and she flew bush planes! Her panic must not have been serious, if she was able to conquer it.
“No, she didn’t tell me.”
JJ placed her pitchfork against the nearest stable door, grabbed some feed and tossed it into the stall.
The cow mooed her thanks and gazed up at JJ with the cutest black eyes.
“Everything is going to be just fine,” she soothed to the cow. “The first time in having a baby is the hardest, but you’ll get through okay. When Dan gets back…” She bit back a bubble of emotion. “When he gets back, he’ll take really good care of you. I just hope you can hold out until then, because I am really not sure how to be a midwife to a cow. It’s something I will have to learn, I guess.”
The cow mooed and JJ and Blue laughed.
“I think she understands you,” Blue said with a smile.
JJ grinned. Aside from appearing a bit shy first thing this morning when Blue had joined them for breakfast, she’d kept JJ occupied most of the day with her chatter and now with night falling quickly she hoped the guys would be back. They had to come back. All of them. If they didn’t, she would start screaming and simply lose her mind with worry.
“How bad was your anxiety? When did it start?” JJ asked as curiosity won out over her worry for her men.
“Oh please, it was bad. I was the queen of anxiety, especially after this…”
To JJ’s surprise, Blue unbuttoned several of her top buttons of her blouse. She pulled the material aside, and to JJ’s horror, there were three round puckered scars on her chest near her heart.
“Bullet wounds,” Blue said with a stern nod.
“Oh my God! I had heard you were a cop at one point.”
“Actually, yes, I was a cop. Followed my dad, my uncle and two brothers into the force, but then I ended up quitting after a couple of years because it wasn’t for me. So I decided to become a nurse…that’s when some nutjob high on drugs came into a clinic where I’d been volunteering and shot me point blank. I took three bullets in the chest, one in my left thigh and one in my right shoulder. I died on the operating table three times. Or so they tell me.”
Stunned disbelief rocked JJ.
“Blue, I am so sorry that happened to you.”
“It wasn’t a picnic. Unfortunately, it took a long time to physically recuperate, and then when I went back to work, I started to have panic attacks. I had to go on medical leave. Did a lot of research on the subject and did some post-traumatic stress disorder counseling and learned to change my way of thinking. Cognitive therapy, they call it. It’s not a magic wand that cures you at once. It takes time to change the way you think and react to things. But cognitive therapy was well worth my efforts. I also did exposure therapy.”
“Exposure therapy?” She hadn’t heard of that.
“While changing your way of thinking, you are also exposing yourself to whatever it is that frightens you and causes you to panic. In your case, I would say, planes and enclosed spaces?”
Shit. Exposing herself to plane rides was the last thing she wanted to do. And yet, Blue’s description of freedom sounded exactly what she was searching for.
To be able to go up into the sky and go anywhere she wanted would be the ultimate in freedom. But JJ would never leave her cowboys. She loved them and her life here too much. Yet, to soar, to conquer her fears, even for a few hours at a time would be heaven.
Yet terrifying, too. No, she couldn’t do something like exposure therapy. Could she?
“You must want to leave here sometime. I mean to be able to go to a city and get some heavy-duty clothes shopping in, or go out to dinner with the guys so you don’t have to cook all the time. Have them buy you supper at some fancy restaurant and stay at a scrumptious hotel…”
JJ was about to protest and let Blue know she was perfectly content not going to restaurants or hotels, and didn’t mind shopping online for clothes, despite the fact that she rarely was able to get something that fit her perfectly without trying it on, when she realized why Blue had stopped talking and was gazing at the open barn door.
The grumble of approaching all terrain vehicles brought such a mixture of emotions roaring through JJ that she stood stock-still as a blanket of dark fear whirled through her.
Would all three of them be returning? Were only two of them back? Did they have good news? Or was their news going to change her life forever?
“Come on, let’s go see,” Blue prodded. Yet JJ hesitated. Blue must have sensed JJ’s whirlwind of emotions for she reached out and grabbed JJ’s hand and squeezed with a gentle reassurance.
“Whatever it is, we can handle it,” Blue said with a quiet confidence that made JJ envy the woman. Yes, she wanted to be confident like Blue. Wanted to be able to handle everything.
JJ blew out a tense breath and nodded.
“Let’s go,” JJ said.
Chapter Four
JJ had left the outside lights on to both the ranch and the barn when they’d come out here and when Blue and herself emerged from the barn, the yard and surrounding buildings were illuminated.
Immense relief splashed through her when she spied Brady on one of the vehicles and Rafe with Dan behind him, on the second.
Thank God! They had found Dan! They were all safe!
Happiness almost smothered her, when, a few seconds later, all three men descended the vehicles and lifted off their helmets.
JJ couldn’t run fast enough to them. She wrapped her arms around Dan and squeezed him tight. Having his hard, warm body pressed against hers brought a rush of love that almost overwhelmed her. Brady and Rafe embraced both Dan and herself and that was the instant she realized she was seriously and hopelessly in love with all three of her cowboys. Suddenly she didn’t care if Blue was watching. She kissed Dan full on the mouth to welcome him home but heard his sharp inhalation of breath.
He was hurt.
Concern and despair slammed into her. Quickly she pulled away and examined him. Immediately she spotted a dark bruise and a gash across his forehead.
“What happened?” she asked as she grabbed Dan’s hand and led him toward the ranch house. Dan was unsteady on his feet and JJ’s concern for him skyrocketed. She wrapped her arm around his waist instructing him to lean on her. Rafe braced his other side.
“Was there an accident?” Blue asked from behind them as they went up the stairs and then entered the building.
“Head injury,” Brady answered as he quickly moved past them and disappeared into the office.
JJ’s stomach somersaulted. She tightened her arm around Dan’s waist and they led him down the hall into the living room.
“I’ll check him out. Get him onto the couch. Lie him down, gently,” Blue instructed.
“We think he was attacked by someone,” Rafe explained as he helped JJ get Dan onto the couch.
“Attacked?” both JJ and Blue asked in unison.
Why would anyone hurt Dan?
“Who? Can you ID the person?” Blue asked as she sat on a nearby coffee table and began checking one eye and then the oth
er eye with a flashlight Brady handed her.
Dan winced as he shook his head. He looked pale. Too pale.
“We should fly him to the hospital.” JJ blurted. They were hundreds of miles away from medical facilities and the thought of how secluded the ranch truly was, rushed a bad feeling of powerlessness through her. Suddenly, she realized just how deserted they truly were in an emergency situation. Realized too that it might be a good idea for them to stop relying on North Country Air and get themselves their own bush plane. It would cut any time in half to get to help if something bad happened.
“Let me check him out first. Then I can give you an answer,” Blue replied. Her voice was calm and she looked pretty cool under pressure as she gazed at Dan.
“Did you black out?” she asked Dan.
“Yes, he did,” Brady answered.
Blue shook her head and frowned at Brady.
“Brady, please. I need him to answer my questions. Can you grab me a first aid kit? Needle and thread? He’s going to need stitches for that gash,” Blue said.
JJ made a move to go and get the kit, but Brady shook his head.
“Here. I already got it.” He lifted the first aid kit onto the couch opposite of where Dan lay on the couch. He snapped the big metal box-like case open and began ripping open plastic bags and laying medical equipment — white gauze, tape, a tube of antibiotic gel, a package of sterilized needles and thread — out on a small steel tray that came with the kit.
“Did you get hurt anywhere else?” Blue asked.
Dan grimaced as he shook his head.
JJ watched Blue smooth her hands over Dan’s arms, legs, torso, front and back, checking for other injuries. Once again, envy whispered through her. Blue appeared so confident and cool. The woman was a total opposite of herself. While JJ had been stuck in prison and having panic attacks, Blue had been on the outside working as a cop, a nurse and now a bush pilot. Everyone had been going on with their lives and having a life.