Unforgiven (Wanderers #3)

by Jessica Miller

  “Um…several.”

  “What!?!” I said a little panicked. It was worse than I feared.

  He ignored my anxiety. “How’d you…do that?”

  “Stop the fire?” He nodded. “Honestly, I have no idea, but if you don’t mind I’m kind of tired now. I think I’m going to lie down,” I said, right before I passed out in Roman’s arms.

  Chapter Nineteen

  When I woke I was in the infirmary…again. Seriously, why does this keep happening to me? I went to sit up and I heard someone shift in the chair next to my bed. “Hey,” I said.

  “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ll leave now,” Roman said, getting up.

  “Roman, wait.” I reached out my bandaged hand and then pulled it back. “I don’t know what to say?”

  “Don’t say anything. You were right. There’s nothing you can say that will fix this.” He turned to walk out.

  “Please don’t leave,” I pleaded. “I can’t bear to lose you too,” I said, biting my lip to keep from crying.

  “You should have thought of that before you slept with someone else,” he snapped before he walked out.

  I brought my bandaged hands to my face and cried. How did I seem to keep making a mess of my life? Why couldn’t I ever do anything right? He deserved to be angry. I did a horrible thing and if the roles were reversed I didn’t think I could forgive him either. I knew when I came back I would have a rough road ahead of me, but I guess I wasn’t as prepared as I thought I was.

  “Why do you always seem to keep ending up here? Usually people don’t return to the last place they tried to escape from,” Dean said as he strolled over to the window.

  “Gluten for punishment I guess,” I said, wiping the tears from my eyes.

  Dean’s brows pinched together when he saw my tear soaked face. “Alright, who do I have to beat up or kill?”

  “No one,” I laughed. “It’s my fault and I deserve it.”

  “Let me guess, Roman found out about Tristan?” I nodded, trying not to cry again. “I may be a dick, but one thing I would never do is cheat on someone I cared about.”

  “You’re not helping,” I glared.

  “What I’m trying to say is you have to understand he’s upset. He feels betrayed and used. That’s not something you can just get over. Give him some time.”

  “I don’t think giving him time will fix this. You should have seen how mad he was.”

  “Ella, how’d you think he was going to react?”

  “I didn’t think he’d set a tree on fire.”

  “How’d you stop it?” he asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

  I looked down at my hands. “I really don’t know. I just wanted to stop it before it spread. I called for my powers and the next I knew the fire was gone.”

  “They said you were amazing. They said they’ve never seen anything like it.”

  “If I’m so amazing then why do I keep passing out after I use my powers?”

  “It’s because you use too much power,” Ms. Kraft said, startling me. She always managed to make a soundless entrance. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m starting to think I should just move my bed in here.”

  Ms. Kraft laughed lightly. “Ella, you just need to work on your control. You think you need to tap into all of your power to access it and use it, but all you need is a little. Have faith in yourself and you will see all the great things you can do without using so much power.”

  “Is that why I keep passing out?”

  “When you tap into your power like that it takes a lot out of you and when you’re so young and not used to it your body is overworked and needs a break.” She glided over to my bedside. “How are your hands?”

  “Okay I guess.” I clapped them together. “They don’t hurt.”

  She gestured for my hands and started to unwrap the bandages. She flipped them over and examined them thoroughly. “They look fine to me.”

  There were no longer any signs of burns or scorch marks anywhere. I thought this was strange because I felt how hot the tree was. I felt it burn and seer the skin on my hands. “Your power to heal must be increasing. I believe that’s how you were able to heal the tree.”

  “But I thought healers couldn’t heal themselves?”

  “They can’t.” I looked at her confused. “All vampires heal faster than humans and when you’re a healer the ability to increase your healing intensifies as your power grows.”

  “So I guess that means I can go?” I asked hopeful. I really did not like this room.

  “I will send the nurse in to check on you and then you can join everyone else at dinner.”

  So it was close to dinner time. That would explain why my stomach was rumbling. The nurse checked me out and like Ms. Kraft said I was okay to leave. I walked with Dean to the cafeteria, afraid to be alone. “Where’s Cameron?” I asked.

  “She went to go talk to Austin,” he said with some guilt in his voice.

  “Hopefully she’ll have better luck than I did.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  I looked at him suspiciously. He quickly turned his head down and avoided eye contact. “What’s up with you?”

  “Nothing,” he squeaked. Dean cleared his throat and repeated, “Nothing.” I didn’t believe him, but I wasn’t in the mood to get into it. I had enough drama for the day and it wasn’t even over yet. I still had to face my friends and getting into it with Dean would not be wise at the moment.

  I braced myself as we walked into the cafeteria. The second we descended the stairs the crowd went silent. I panicked. I was ready to turn and run in the opposite direction. “Ella, don’t worry. Whatever happens, I’m here for you,” Dean said, taking a step forward. “Ladies,” he announced. “I’m back.” He threw out his arms embracing the crowd. Girls giggled and ran up to Dean like he was some kind of movie star or something. So much for him being there for me.

  He looked over his shoulder at me and winked. “Distraction,” he projected. I rolled my eyes and hurried past him to hopefully keep myself out of the spotlight for at least the moment. I glanced at my normal table to see if any of my friends were there and yep, all of them were. I nervously walked over to where they sat. All eyes were on me as I approached. I tried to think of something to say but all I could manage was, “Hi.”

  “Ella!” Riley cheered, jumping out of her chair and crushing me in her arms followed by Dixon and Sienna. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “You have to tell us everything that happened,” Sienna said.

  “Yes. I want to hear everything,” Dixon sang.

  “You guys aren’t mad at me?”

  “Why would we be mad at you?” Riley asked.

  “Because I just left…I left you all to deal with everything…alone.”

  “Ella, we were more worried about you,” Sienna said. “And we weren’t alone. We had each other.”

  “Thank you,” I breathed.

  “For what?” Riley asked.

  “For being the greatest friends ever,” I said, hugging them tighter before they all pulled me down to sit.

  “So tell us what happened? Is he really alive?” Dixon asked hopeful. I knew he wanted his friend to be alive just as much as I did.

  I was about to say yes when Roman sat down at the end of the table. “Can we talk about this later?” I asked, hoping they would take the hint.

  “Please, don’t let me stop you. Go on, tell them,” Roman said casually.

  “It’s okay, I think we can talk later,” Dixon said, giving me a sympathetic smile.

  I got up to get something to eat and when I returned to the table we were joined by Cameron and Dean. I noticed Austin was there too, but he didn’t sit next to Cameron. “Hey, how are things with you and Austin? Did everything go okay?” I asked, trying to take the attention off of me.

  “Yeah, it’s all good. We’re just easing back in to it,” she said. “What about you and Roman?” she whispered.
>
  “You really have to ask?” I shot a look down to the end of table where Roman was silently glaring at me.

  “Maybe I can get Austin to talk to him or Dean?” she offered.

  “Thanks, but there’s nothing that’s going to change what I did,” I said, no longer feeling hungry. “I think I’m just going to go back to my room and sleep.”

  “Is everything okay?” Riley asked.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just tired from the flight and everything. I think I’m going to call it an early night.”

  “Do you want me to walk back with you?” Riley asked a little concerned.

  “No, but thanks. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I felt bad for leaving. I just got there and spent a total of ten minutes with my friends, but the looks that Roman was giving me made me want to crawl under the table. I thought it best if I went back to my room instead of forcing myself to be social.

  When I got back to my room, I learned I no longer had it to myself. “Okay seriously, what the hell are you doing here?”

  “Well, last I heard you went crazy and flew the coop. I never thought you’d come back so I moved back into my room,” Mackenzie said.

  “Okay, first off, you moved out so this is no longer your room so get out.”

  “Like I told you, that was only temporary. I wasn’t expecting you to come back.”

  “Mackenzie, I am so not in the mood for this.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on.

  “I have to say, I was a little disappointed to hear you survived.” I scowled at her. “And then when I caught wind of you leaving the country to go find an old flame,” she laughed. “You know I’m not surprised that one of your exes had to move to another country to get away from you.”

  “Last time, out,” I pointed to the door.

  “No, this is my room now, you leave.”

  “Mackenzie I am too tired for your shit.”

  “Did you find lover boy? How was the, oh so tender reunion with you and Roman,” she smirked. “No worries. I kept him company while you were gone.”

  “I’m sure you did,” I growled.

  “It’s a shame Jack couldn’t stick around and finish the job,” she smiled, bouncing on the bed.

  “What did you say?”

  “Please don’t pretend like you didn’t hear me when you clearly did,” she said, examining her nails.

  Something clicked and I remembered what Jack had said about paying someone for information. “It was you. You were the one who told him where I was and about my friends. I can’t believe anyone could be that cruel.” She looked at me, pretending she had no idea what I was talking about. “You’re the reason my friends got hurt.”

  “Whatever.” She shrugged her shoulders not caring in the least.

  That was it. I had enough. After everything she’d done – the spell, kidnapping, basically making my life hell and to find out she was Jack’s informant. Enough was enough. I lost all my composure and self-control. I went on full attack and leaped at her, tackling her to the ground. She screamed. I rolled us into the dresser slamming my shoulder and allowing her to escape. “What are you crazy?” she yelled.

  “You’re the crazy one,” I said, reaching for her again. She jumped out of the way and I fell into the desk knocking everything to the floor. I recovered and attacked, but she was prepared. She grabbed my arms before I got to her. She was stronger than I thought. We struggled back and forth knocking each other into the walls. We knocked down pictures, books, lamps. Basically anything that was in our path.

  She grabbed my hair and I threw my elbow back, catching her right in the eye. I stepped back a few feet to catch my breath. She wasn’t much of a fighter, but she was fast, getting the advantage on me. Mackenzie leaped for me, knocking me to the floor, and tumbling out into the hallway. Both of us were screaming and yelling, punching and kicking.

  Our commotion brought students out of their rooms and soon the hallway was crowded. They all stood around and watched. Not a few seconds later Dean and Roman were there to break up the fight. “What is going on here?” Mrs. Daniels demanded.

  “This crazy bitch attacked me!” Mackenzie yelled.

  “You deserve it after what you did,” I spat back.

  “Enough,” Mrs. Daniels shouted. “You two, office, now!”

  Mackenzie shot Roman a look to let her go. He released her and she crossed her arms in a huff. Roman looked at me and for a moment I thought I saw sympathy in his eyes and I thought there was a possibility we might be able to get past all this, but then his face turned angry again and he was gone.

  “Wow Ella, you really know how to make a comeback,” Dean joked. I rolled my eyes at him and left the crowded hall and followed Mrs. Daniels to the office.

  “Who would like to explain?” Mrs. Daniels asked, sitting on the edge of Aidan’s desk.

  “She started it,” Mackenzie yelled.

  “That’s because you were Jack’s little informant,” I spat back. “You were the reason he knew how to get in here and knew where I was.”

  “What are you talking about? I never met the freak.”

  “You admitted it to me,” I said annoyed.

  “All I said was I wish he would have finished the job.”

  “Miss Hilliard,” Mrs. Daniels chastised.

  “It was just a joke,” Mackenzie said, rolling her eyes.

  “That’s enough!” Aidan yelled, clearly not in the mood to deal with this. Aidan leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingers to his forehead, contemplating the actions he was going to take.

  Mrs. Daniels and Mr. Callahan talked it over and decided it was best if Mackenzie and I no longer roomed together. Unfortunately at the time there were no available rooms so I had to stay in the guest housing for the time being – which was fine by me. The further away from Mackenzie the better.

  Since no fighting was a strict policy there, Mackenzie was forced to stay for the summer and do manual labor with the rest of us, which to me, was punishment enough for all of us.

  There wasn’t much more they could do to punish me considering they were already having me do manual labor, extra training sessions, and babysitting new students in the fall. So they left me go with a warning. I think Aidan felt bad enough as it was and knew how malicious Mackenzie could be.

  When we were done, Aidan and one of the guardians escorted me back to my room to collect my things which was embarrassing to say the least. They stuck me on the top floor of guest housing. The one and only floor that was empty. I wasn’t complaining. I thought some solitude would be nice for a change.

  Aidan dismissed the guard and walked me to my room. The walk down the hall felt like I was walking ‘The Green Mile’. The silence was an eerie reminder that once these halls were filled with guardians. But after the attack some of those guardians did not survive and the rest were called back to heal or regroup and all of this was because of me. I deserved this. I deserved to be alone. My chest felt heavy at their absence and I felt like the walls were caving in.

  “Here’s your key. If you have any problems just let me know and remember this is only temporary,” he said, giving me a small smile. His smile fell when he saw my face. “Are you okay?”

  I shook my head no. “I just…I guess it’s finally hitting me. All the people we lost in the fight. I never expected the aftermath to be this…I don’t even know how to explain it. How I feel?”

  Aidan sighed and leaned his shoulder against the wall. He ran a hand through his hair, clearly still not ready to talk about this, but seeing he had no other choice he told me what happened. “I’m not going to lie. It was pretty bad. We had a lot of explaining to do afterwards, but none of us knew what to say. They had so many questions and we just didn’t have the answers. Most of the students were pretty shaken up. We brought in counselors to help with the healing process, but to most this isn’t something that’s just going to go away overnight.” He looked at me and all I could feel was guilt.

&n
bsp; “Ella, this was not your fault. I want you to understand that. No one blames you,” I eyed him wearily. “They just need an excuse for what happened and you were the easiest target, but don’t worry, okay? Over time wounds heal and we will get past this and the first step to healing is moving on.”

  “I want to do something.”

  “Ella, I don’t think there is really anything you can do.”

  “No, I mean I want to help with the healing process. You’re right, we need to move on, but for some people it will be harder. They need closure and I think I have an idea of how we can do that.”

  He pushed himself off the wall with his foot and looked at me interested in what I had to say. “What did you have in mind?”

  “I think we should have a memorial service for all the people we lost. Before everyone goes home for the summer. I’m hoping that giving everyone the opportunity to mourn and pay their respects to their loved ones will help them and maybe make it even easier to return in the fall.”

  “Ella, I think that’s a brilliant idea.” I smiled, feeling a little better than when I first got there. “Do you have anything specific in mind?”

  “I think I might, but I want to do some more research. Can I get back to you tomorrow?”

  “Absolutely. Why don’t you go inside and rest? You look like you could use it.”

  “Thank you,” I said, as I opened the door to my new room. I waved to Aidan as he took off down the hall. I dragged in my suitcase and closed the door behind me. I flicked on the light and took a look around at my new room. Wow! It was twice the size of my old room. It had a full size couch, recliner, TV, and a king sized bed. The floors were hardwood with a large circular rug in the center. There were two full sized closets with a dresser and night stand. To my right was the bathroom. My own bathroom again! I sighed, happy, wishing that my temporary stay would be a long one.

  I didn’t bother to unpack anything. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be staying there long. I spread my arms out wide and fell face first in the fluffy down comforter. I was in heaven and positive I wouldn’t have a problem falling asleep in this massive, cloud like bed.