As everyone continued to talk around me, I slumped back in my seat, bringing another grilled cheese sandwich up to my mouth as I tried to focus enough to keep up with everything around me. Both Joanna and Grayson seemed convinced that Marissa wouldn't act against us again, at least not without talking to them first.
And while I was convinced that I could trust Grayson, at least far enough that he didn't want to see me dead, it still left me feeling uneasy. Along with absolutely everything else that had happened.
But I was damn well sick of being the victim of other people's plays for power, or whatever justifications they gave themselves to explain their actions. Especially, now that it seemed I was the only one who didn’t have an ability of their own.
Despite Doctor Maiz spending over an hour with Marc, Grayson and I, my stomach still burned, even as a magical salve worked into my skin doing whatever it was supposed to do. The doc hadn’t been able to say whether I'd have a permanent scar, but I knew that whether this scar was internal or external, I'd carry that night with me for the rest of my life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
While I couldn't say much of anything for sure, I suspected that I fell asleep with my head on my arms at the table in the cafeteria more than once. But my power naps never lasted for more than twenty minutes at a time, even though no one ever purposefully tried to wake me.
Every time someone raised their voice, it startled me into consciousness again, but everyone was always right where I'd left them, still discussing the nuances of the night and all the revelations that had come with it.
I couldn't help but look over at Marissa. She'd been the one who had betrayed Harper, for no reason other than paranoia. She'd almost done the same to me, Marc and Devon. I wanted to ask exactly how many people like us she'd done away with before we had a chance to speak for ourselves, but I wasn't sure I was ready to know.
And did anyone know how many people Jonathan had brought through? We still didn't know if he'd been working alone, or if any among the Literati had known his plan. I liked to think that there were more people like us out there that had managed to get away, both from Marissa's hired hoodlums, and from the influence of the Archive.
But Grayson seemed to believe his old mentor when she said that now that everything was out in the open, she was content to let us be. I could tell that not one among the Archive’s leading members liked the idea that Jonathan had blessed us with powers we were never supposed to have, but we were the victims in this scenario and so, for now, that would have to be enough to let us stay in the After.
I wasn't sure if they’d feel the same way if anyone started to wreak havoc with our newfound abilities, but at least they knew Marc and Devon and I well enough to at least give us the benefit of the doubt. After everything that the councilors had put us through, they owed us all that much. And of course, as always, I was a non-issue. I couldn’t say it didn’t sting that I hadn’t come away from all this with any magical power to show for myself, but there wasn’t exactly a good time to whine about it to my friends.
And because of our supposed abilities, we were now, at least, well equipped enough to survive in the city on our own--assuming Marissa didn't send anyone after us again, because there was no reason for the councilors to wait to follow through on Marc's request. Joanna had requested one day to get things organized for us, and then we could go. It wasn't as though they were tossing us out on our asses; they’d promised they'd have details for us on somewhere we could stay, at least, for a while and until we knew enough to make sound decisions for ourselves.
But I had one day left to live in the Archive, and as the sun finally rose over the longest night of my life, it was weird to think I'd be saying goodbye to this strange and wonderful place by the same time the next day.
It was that thought, or maybe it was everything I'd been through, but beside a few impromptu naps in the cafeteria, my body had no interest in sleep. So, I decided to spend my last day in the Archive like I'd spent most of the calmer days before: reading.
Marc hadn’t wanted to wait and had already gone out into the city, convincing Devon to go with him–whether for company, or protection, or just someone to talk to, I didn't know for sure. They’d both be back by nightfall, and then the three of us would set off together in the morning.
But I had had plenty of time to explore the city, and to be on my own. For one more day, I could find comfort in the familiar stacks of books in the Archive. I knew I'd be back, but it was the closest I had to a home in the After, and soon that too would change.
I ended up on the fourth floor, in a small sitting area with three loveseats surrounding a fireplace that, despite giving off both warmth and light, didn't produce any smoke. I wished I'd discovered the space sooner, because I could see it becoming one of my favorites.
The books I picked up had mostly come from the romance section, the one place I could be sure of a happily ever after, but no matter how many first chapters I read, I couldn't seem to focus enough to really fall into any one story.
After a few hours, I put down book number four and picked up the next one, a hardcover book with a sunset over water. It wasn't my book--not the one I'd come from. I didn't even know what had happened to my book, though I assumed it was still safely tucked away within the walls of the Archive. But this book looked just a little bit like the one I had come from, just enough to leave me feeling restless and uncomfortable all over again.
I put the book down and slumped back into my chair. This was as good a place as any for a nap, assuming my body was willing to cooperate.
I swung my legs over one arm rest, and closed my eyes as I did my best to get comfortable, basking in the glow of the fire.
"I always find you doing the strangest things." A familiar voice interrupted me only seconds after I’d closed my eyes. "You know, this may not be the best place for a nap."
I opened my eyes to find Jamie watching me with a playful smile, leaning against the nearest bookcase.
With an unexpected yawn, I sat up, covering my mouth hastily. "Sorry, It's been a really weird day."
Jamie sat down in the loveseat beside mine, bracing his elbows against his knees as he looked at me. "I heard, actually."
"It's actually the reason I came here today, looking for you."
I sat up a little straighter. "How exactly did you hear? I…" His confession had me at a loss for words. Had the entire city heard about what happened? Was my picture plastered alongside Jonathan's in a citywide newspaper I didn't even know existed?
Jamie glanced away. And I finally remembered the conversation I'd had with Grayson, when he first warned me away from Jamie. Jamie, with the literati ties. Whatever that meant.
"I have to confess something," Jamie said. "I know who you are, what you are. I didn't that first day when we met, but after that…" he trailed off. After that, my mind filled in, when he’d tried to talk to me as I was shelving books with Eliza. When I'd cut him off and sent him away.
When Eliza had told me he was a vampire. This was something that should've concerned me more than him being a member of some secret society I didn't understand, and yet it left me more curious than anything.
"Look," I said, "I don't want to get involved in the political tug-of-war that seems to be going on in this place."
"There are a lot of people who are interested in you, Kadie. But I promise I didn't come here with any hidden motivation. I just wanted to see if you were okay. The people I work with, they had nothing to do with what happened to you. I can't deny that the possibilities you offer somewhat intrigue them, and they would like to get to know both you and your friends better--but in your own time, and only if you're interested. The Literati only works because we are a group of similarly minded people, working toward a common goal."
This was getting a little too philosophical for me. "And what exactly is that goal? Kidnapping helpless people and using them as pawns in your game against the librarians?"
"Not at all. I can
see why you might've gotten the impression." He glanced up, looking around at the shelves that surround us. "But it's not like that at all. The people you would've talked to here are more than a little biased against us. But the Literati respect the power of the Archive, and what it represents. We just think there's room for a little more interpretation, for some of that power to belong to the people that the Archive represents."
"Honestly Jamie, this is not the day for this. I am too tired for any kind of sales pitch, and super uninterested in getting involved one way or the other."
"You're right, I'm sorry. I really did just want to see that you're okay."
"I am as okay as can be expected," I said, not willing to commit to anything else. I wasn't sure how much Jamie had heard, or who he’d heard it from. If Jonathan really had done what he had to pledge to the Literati, I couldn't be sure that others in that organization hadn’t known exactly what he had planned, and had done nothing to stop it. I liked to think it wasn't Jamie directly, that he hadn't known, and really was just a guy who liked to read. But there were only so many people I felt I could trust implicitly, and they were the ones in the same position as I was, who weren't trying to push me in any one direction, toward anyone’s agenda.
"So, are you really a vampire?" I asked in a desperate attempt to change the conversation.
Jamie laughed aloud. "Who told you that?"
"Does it matter?"
Jamie shook his head. "Guilty as charged."
"You don't look like a vampire. And how are you out during the day?"
"You and I are going to have a lot of fun together Kadie Meyer," Jamie said with a smile. "I think it's safe to say that you still have a lot to learn."
That night, I settled into my room in the Archive for the last time. But with the blankets tucked around me, reaching right up to my neck, I felt a sense of comfort that this place had rarely offered me. And tomorrow, it would all disappear. I was free to visit as often as I wanted, but I didn't know whether I'd be allowed back into the places usually reserved for librarians.
Instead, I’d have an apartment of my own to decorate, in a building owned by the Archive, meant to house apprentice librarians. Eliza would be one of my neighbors, and both Devon and Marc would be in the building across the street. I wouldn’t be truly alone, but I’d finally have some space, and some privacy.
It was exciting to think that I’d have the chance to decorate and make the space my own, but it was hard to get past the fact that I'd be starting completely from scratch. I wouldn't have any used furniture from my parent’s house to fill the rooms, like I had in my first apartment in my life before.
I stared up at the ceiling for a long time, willing myself to sleep. Every time I wondered how much time had passed, or how much longer I had before morning came for me, I pushed the thought away and tried to clear my head.
It worked better in theory than in practice.
At least this time around, my fresh start was one I’d see coming. The last one—or the last two if I was counting my first life in the After, the one I’d never remember—had come like a punch in the gut, violent and jarring. A lot of good had come from it in the end, but I still had the scars to remind me of the cost, and I still felt the weight of Harper’s absence every single day.
The two of us probably would have been roommates in my new apartment if things had gone even a little differently. I had so little left to remember her by and now, every new thing I got to see or do, would be one more thing she would never get to experience.
Not for the first time, I promised myself that I’d make the most of this chance, for her if not for me.
Which didn’t make the prospect of falling asleep the next night, in a space that was entirely my own, any less daunting. I already had permission to take everything with me that I’d gained since coming to the Archive, not that it amounted to much. And really, most of what I did have was clothing given to me by Jonathan. I still couldn’t decide if taking them with me would be an unwelcome reminder, or if I could make myself see taking what he’d given me as one small thread of a silver lining for everything that had happened. It wasn’t as though I’d have much of an income with which to build my life. Grayson had bought us a little leeway, but I knew the rest of the librarians wouldn’t want to support us for long, especially now that everyone knew that the After had never wanted us here in the first place. We should never have existed, and yet here we were. How well we could trust Marissa to keep her word to not try and do away with us again, I couldn’t say.
But I couldn't think about that now, not if I wanted to have any chance at all of getting some sleep tonight. I'd already gone more than twenty-four hours without sleeping, and both my body and my mind needed rest more than anything.
And sleep would come. Part of me worried that if I closed my eyes for too long, something else would change, or someone else would die. I didn't trust my reality to stay in one piece.
For the first time in what felt like years, I longed for the ragged old teddy bear that I'd had since I was a child. I could remember looking at it that night, right as I answered the phone to get my fateful call from Darren. The idea of having something familiar tugged at me, filling my heart with yearning. Everything was changing so quickly, had been changing every day since I’d arrived in the After, and for who knows how long before then.
Even though that bear had only existed in that one line, in one sentence of one book, I wanted it, or something like it, more than anything. I needed to have something familiar with me, something I could be sure wouldn't leave me.
And then I felt it. One moment, nothing, and the next a gentle weight against my feet at the bottom of my bed. At first, I froze in place, worried I was under attack all over again, worried I wasn't safe even in my room deep in the Archive. But nothing moved and eventually I had to open my eyes and sit up. As my feet shifted, I felt whatever had been sitting on them move too and fall away. As I reached for my night light to illuminate the space around me, I could see a lumpy shape sitting at the foot of my bed. In the light, a familiar grey fabric became perfectly clear.
It was Harper's backpack. The one she’d bought on our very first day in the After, the one we’d taken to the park with us to store our food and things we hadn’t wanted to carry.
I stopped breathing and slowly pulled the covers away from me, worried that if I moved too quickly I’d wake myself. Since this was certainly a dream.
But despite how tired my body was, I knew I was still awake. As my fingers wrapped around the bag and pulled it close to me, I inhaled its scent. I didn't know how it had come to me, where it had been, but I was thrilled to have it with me then. Maybe because it was something familiar, exactly what I'd been asking for at that moment, or maybe because I knew what I'd left inside.
Slowly, I pulled the zipper open and peered into the backpack. Blue fuzzy fabric waited for me and, in two pieces, I pulled out the very same pajamas I'd been wearing when I’d first arrived in the After, just as dirty and worn now as when I’d last seen them.
I knew without a doubt that I'd left it, and everything else that Harper and I had accumulated, back under the tree where we'd been sleeping on the night she’d been taken.
And now they were back here, with me.
Did I do this? All I knew was I had been thinking about finding something familiar, and a second later the only thing that could have qualified in all the After had come to me, unbidden. Or… bidden?
There was still no sign of any magical power I could call my own, and yet I had been the only person who could've known what I was longing for in that moment.
I pulled the pajamas all the way out of the bag and found the unused pair of socks, just where I’d left them. Thankfully, the bloodied pair I'd taken off before going to sleep that night had not made a repeat appearance.
Not even caring that it was the coziest outfit I'd ever put on, I changed out of what I was wearing and pulled both the pajama top and bottoms on, feeling comforted all
at once.
Tomorrow would be a new day, one where I could find out for sure if I'd been the one to call the backpack to me. To find out if I had a magical ability after all.
But as it was, I felt better than I had in days, weeks even. And as soon as I crawled back into bed, I fell perfectly and completely asleep.
Look for Book two of Happily Ever Afterlife, City of Secrets, in December 2017. Pre-order your copy now!
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Or return to the world of the After in Apprentice, a story set in Sanctum and Beyond.
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Read Chapter One of Apprentice right now!
Chapter One
I’d been asleep for five hours, but the moment the train pulled into Hemingway Station, I was wide awake. Not exactly the product of good timing so much as magic, but I would take what I could get.
When I’d boarded the train from Summerset to embark on the first leg of my trip, I’d been determined to use my distraction-free train time productively and do the things I hadn’t got done at home. But leaving that same home for a new city and a whole new career had been more distracting than I’d expected, and I hadn’t been able to focus on anything at all.
By the time I’d left New York for the third and final leg of my trip, all I’d wanted was a good night’s sleep. Before the train had even pulled away from Grand Central, I’d purchased the spelled salve, enchanted so that, once I rubbed it on my temples, it knocked me out until the moment I reached my destination.
In the seats around me, a few other people seemed to be coming out of similar extended naps, each looking as disoriented as I felt. But there was no time for sympathetic smiles between fellow passengers because others were already up and out of their seats, getting organized so they could disembark as soon as the doors opened.
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