Caleb stood and put his hand out to Lee. “I sure hope so, Lee. Also, there is a man asking around town about me. He’s one of Jenkins’s men. If you can get hold of him, you may get him to lead you to Jenkins.”
He placed his hat back on his head. The men exchanged good-byes, and Caleb headed back to the parsonage.
He wondered how he would be able to tell Rachel about his past. But he knew it was time.
Chapter 13
Rachel and Caleb had made plans to meet at their special place by the stream the next evening. He’d asked her to come alone and made plans for Addie to watch the children. He’d said he had something important to tell her.
As she waited, anxiety ran rampant through her. What did he want to say to her? Was it about them? Was he having second thoughts?
Her dismal musings evaporated the minute he rode up. He jumped off his horse and took her in his arms.
“Caleb?” she said with concern.
“Are you okay?” he asked, running his eyes over her to be sure. “I should have told you to wait for me and not come out here alone.” He shook his head and let out a deep breath.
Rachel placed her hands on his chest and made him look at her. “What in the world are you talking about? Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
He knew he wasn’t making any sense. “I’m sorry, Rachel. I’m just worried about you being out here alone. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He stepped back a step but grasped her hands in his.
“I brought you out here so I can tell you about my past,” he told her.
Rachel studied the strain on his face and remembered another time when she had seen that look on his features. “I’ve been wondering when you would tell me about that,” she said gently.
“Wait right here.” He walked over and took a rolled blanket from his saddle and spread it out on the ground. They sat on the blanket, and he began to share with her what was on his mind.
“I haven’t always been a preacher,” he began.
She just smiled. “I didn’t figure you had been. I know the Springton church is your first.”
He tried to smile but failed. That’s when she realized that what he wanted to say was important to him.
Caleb spared himself no mercy as he described his past. He painted a picture of a hardhearted, selfish man who had done nothing unless it profited him. He told her of the outlaws that he’d killed. He wanted her to see the hard, cold facts of what he’d been and where he’d come from. It was the way he saw himself whenever he remembered.
But Rachel saw something different. She saw a young man who’d been abandoned, abused, and hurt. A man who hadn’t believed in the potential goodness of life, so he immersed himself in the bad.
She didn’t realize she was crying until Caleb turned to her and touched one of her tears with a gentle finger. The hardness that had etched his features changed to despair. “Ah, Rachel … I’m so sorry I had to tell you this. I know it’s hard to hear. I had to tell you, though, before we married. I will understand if you—”
She put two fingers on his lips to stop him. “You don’t understand, Caleb. I’m not crying because I’m disgusted at what you were. I’m just so sad that you had to go through your whole young life thinking that you weren’t worth anything.”
It took a moment before her words made sense to him. A lump lodged in his throat and tears filled his eyes. How had she known how he’d felt all those years? How could she see past all the horrible things that he’d told her and understand the emptiness that had eaten at him day after day? But she did.
She knew it was because she loved him.
He blinked a couple of times and managed to hold back tears. “I love you, Rachel.”
“I love you, too, Caleb. And it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been. What you have become makes you special to me. Your kindness and caring has extended to everyone in Springton, and there’s not a soul here who hasn’t been affected by it.”
He was a little uncomfortable with her praise. “I’ve only done what I feel God has called me to do.”
She nodded and decided not to argue the point. “I know.”
“Still want to marry me?” he asked, feeling a strand of her hair.
She smiled. “I haven’t changed my mind yet!”
An eyebrow arched. “Yet?”
“You just better be on your best behavior!” she said saucily.
He laughed and leaned over to her, pressing his lips against hers in a warm, soft kiss.
They stayed by the stream awhile longer, then she left him to walk back to the store. All the way there, she relived over and over in her mind that tender kiss.
Maybe that’s why she failed to see the woman standing just outside the corner of the store. The woman had seen the innocent kiss and the dreamy look Rachel wore on her face as she drifted back to the store. The woman’s arms were crossed tightly against her chest and her mouth was pinched in a disapproving line.
Prudence Primrose narrowed her eyes, then disappeared behind the building, unseen.
A wagon was parked out in front of his house when Caleb returned home. In it sat a man and a woman. He noticed that Harold Ray was standing beside the wagon.
Caleb pulled back on the reins and climbed down off his horse. “Can I help you?”
“Reverend?” Harold Ray greeted with a tip of his hat. “This here’s Ken and Wilma Whitten. They just moved into town. Ken’s gonna be working out at the sawmill.”
Caleb nodded to them both, his eyes curious. “Pleased to meet you both. I’m Caleb Stone.”
The Whittens returned the greeting politely. They seemed like decent folks to Caleb. He waited for Harold Ray to explain why they were there.
Harold Ray went on. “The Whittens were wanting to see about taking in a child, and I told them about the kids that you have here.”
Clearing his throat, Caleb managed a smile. “Well, their names are Jessie and Emmy Holt. Their parents passed away a few months back, and they need a good family to love and take care of them. They’re both wonderful kids.” Caleb stopped, unable to continue. He’d never stopped to think about how he’d feel when Jessie and Emmy left him.
He knew now—horrible.
Mrs. Whitten threw a panicked look at her husband, and Mr. Whitten patted her hand, apparently trying to reassure her. He looked at the preacher and told him, “Uh, Reverend, we would love to take both children, but we can only afford one child. We’d had our hearts set on a boy.”
Caleb blanched. “But you’re talking about separating a brother and sister who have looked after one another all their lives. You can’t take one and leave the other, Mr. Whitten.”
Harold Ray spoke up then. “Brother Caleb, things like this happen when you’re running an orphanage. You know that firsthand. Most probably, someone around these parts will take the little girl. They’d still get to see one another at school and such.”
Caleb knew the practical truth behind Harold Ray’s words, but he also knew that separating the children would be wrong.
“Mr. and Mrs. Whitten, I have to give this some thought. Separating the children is a big decision to have to make. I’ll need time to think and pray about it,” he told them.
Mr. Whitten nodded. “I’ll check back with you in a couple of days, Reverend.” He tipped his hat and they rode away.
Caleb got back on his horse and rode straight to the mercantile.
The minute Caleb walked into the store, Rachel knew something was wrong. Caleb had tried to smile as he entered but failed miserably.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Caleb didn’t answer immediately. He first looked at the two children who were playing on the floor with Caitlin. He hoped they were far enough away that they wouldn’t hear him.
“Someone wants to adopt Jessie.”
The only word that registered in Rachel’s mind initially was “adopt.”
“That’s wonderful, Caleb! How—”
“The
y don’t want Emmy.”
Rachel’s excitement disappeared as quickly as it had developed. “Oh no. Caleb, what are you going to do?”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know. They can’t afford to take in both of them, they said. I know I have an obligation to see that the children find homes, but I just can’t do it. I can’t separate them.” He felt so helpless.
Rachel was quickly on his side. “Of course you can’t! They would be scarred for the rest of their lives if you tore them apart!”
Addie nodded. “I agree, but you have to wonder if this may be their only chance at a family. You aren’t going to get an orphanage going for some time. What are you going to do then?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know, Addie. But I’ll think of something. I’d better get the kids back to the parsonage and put them to bed.”
As they were gathering the children’s belongings, Caleb asked Rachel if she would come with him and help tuck them in. She agreed.
They had gotten Emmy all tucked in and she was nearly asleep, when Jessie asked in a low voice, “Are you going to separate us, Brother Caleb?”
A stunned Caleb and Rachel glanced at each other, then looked back at the boy. He was trying to be brave, but his eyes were moist and red.
Caleb knelt by his bedside and laid a hand on the boy’s chest. “No, I’m not. I’m sorry you heard that; I was hoping to keep you from knowing.” He paused and looked at Jessie. “You do know this could be your only chance to find a family, don’t you?”
Jessie shook his head. “But aren’t we a family? Can’t you be my pa and Miss Rachel be my ma?” he asked earnestly.
“But we’re not married, Jessie.”
“But you’re goin’ to be,” he countered with certainty.
Caleb’s eyebrow rose. “You have big ears, don’t you, son?” He chuckled and looked up at Rachel, who just shrugged.
“Well, I guess that’s just something we will have to see about. It may be awhile before Rachel and I will marry….” He was hedging, but he had no idea what Rachel would think about keeping Jessie and Emmy for their own.
“I can wait,” Jessie said.
“Well, good night then,” Caleb said and turned down the lamp.
In the parlor, Caleb pulled her down beside him on the sofa. He took her hand into his own and looked into her eyes. “Rachel,” he began. He paused, then started again. “Rachel, what would you think about, well … about …”
“About keeping Jessie and Emmy?” she supplied for him.
Chagrined, he chuckled. “Yeah, that’s what I was trying to ask.”
“Caleb,” she scolded and tugged at his hand playfully. “You know I love those kids just as much as you do. If you want to keep them, then we will.” She sighed. “I just don’t know how long it will be before we can be together.”
“It will happen,” he insisted. “But before you leave, I have something to say that I forgot to tell you about earlier. Do you remember me telling you about the gang that set me up?” She nodded, and he continued. “Well, they are in this area and I think they know I’m alive.”
Rachel’s eyes filled with horror. “Oh no! Caleb, what will they do?”
He tried to calm her. “Now, don’t worry about me. Lee Cutler is alerting all the surrounding towns and thinks the gang will be arrested before they can do anything.”
He reached up and cupped his hand around her jaw, rubbing his thumb across her cheek. “I’m telling you this because I want you to be careful, too, Rachel. If Jenkins finds out that you’re special to me, he’ll try to get to me by using you. So make sure you have someone with you at all times.”
“I will, but you promise me that you’ll be careful, too.”
He smiled at her and agreed. He gave her a brief hug and helped her up from the sofa.
The walk home wasn’t far; and though she protested, he walked her halfway and made sure she got home all right.
On the way back to the parsonage, he again had the feeling that he was being watched. Cautiously he glanced around him; and when his eyes fell on the saloon, a shadowy figure walked out from behind a post, then turned and sauntered back into the saloon.
Caleb’s dread increased twofold. He’d been spotted and they knew where he lived.
And now they knew he was seeing a woman.
He just hoped they wouldn’t find out that the woman was Rachel.
Chapter 14
Rachel continued to cook and keep house for Caleb and the children, and she’d been faithfully attending church services for four weeks. It was true that the folks of Springton were a lot friendlier toward her, though they didn’t accept her fully. The reason for the improvement, she knew, was her association with Caleb.
When two people were as much in love as they were, it was bound to show. It didn’t help any, either, that Caleb was always looking at her and smiling. If someone had the nerve to ask him straight out how he felt about her, he’d have told the person. Rachel was sure of it. She knew that he felt no shame in loving her and saw no reason to hide his love.
But Rachel saw plenty of reason to be careful. And the truth was, she was sure that the people of Springton would never accept her as the wife of their minister. Not with the slightest bit of doubt lingering in their minds about how Caitlin was conceived.
Her fear of the future grew day by day. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Caleb’s ministry. And it would hurt him if they made their love public. She had no doubt of that.
But Rachel said nothing to Caleb as another week went by. And on Monday afternoon, when Prudence Primrose walked into the store just before closing time, she had a feeling that things were about to become worse.
“I’d like a word with you, Miss Branigan,” Prudence demanded as her hawkish gaze landed squarely on Rachel.
A trickle of dread ran down Rachel’s spine. Prudence seemed intent on a purpose, and it didn’t take three guesses to figure out what that purpose was.
“What is it that you’d like to talk to me about, Mrs. Primrose?” she asked.
Her eyes narrowed shrewdly, and she wasted no time in getting to the point. “We both know why I’m here, girl. It’s about your chasing after the preacher!”
Rachel swallowed and stared down at the counter. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t add lyin’ to the list of all your other sins! I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. The whole town has seen it! It’s disgraceful, the way you’ve been throwing yourself at him.”
Rachel’s head snapped up. “I have not thrown myself at him and we’ve done nothing wrong or sinful. We are friends!”
Prudence scoffed at that. “Friends?” she sneered. “You’re trying to lead him down the path of sin!”
Rachel gasped at her crudeness. “I am not!”
“That’s what the town thinks,” she informed, with relish. “People are starting to talk. They’re thinking that they might not want a preacher who has associations with a woman of ill repute!”
Rachel paled. “That’s not true….” But she knew very well that it could be the truth.
Prudence watched Rachel’s reaction with a look of satisfaction. “Oh yes, it is true! Folks expect their minister to marry a good, decent woman. Not a woman who gets herself with child, then blames it on someone else. The preacher may believe your lies and he may have gotten some of the town to think a little better of you, but it don’t mean that they accept you. It just means that they don’t want to appear judgmental!”
Rachel’s heart was pounding in her chest. A heavy feeling of dread spread over her body, and tears swelled behind her eyelids. She’d somehow known it would come to this. She’d let Caleb convince her that it wouldn’t, but he’d been wrong. As right as it felt, they were not meant to be.
Not at the expense of his ministry.
Prudence was right. The longer Caleb and she continued their relationship, the worse things were going to get.
She lifted her eyes to the
merciless woman and saw fanatical determination in her gaze. Despite the fact that the woman was right in what she was saying, Rachel had to wonder why this mission to sever the relationship between she and Caleb was so important to her. To what lengths would she go to keep her away from the town’s minister? It was almost frightening to think about.
“Well, Mrs. Primrose, you seem to have all the answers. How am I supposed to do this? The children still have to eat and need someone to care for them.”
Prudence’s mouth formed into a grim smile. “I have arranged for the Widow Miles to come in and cook their meals.”
She had it all planned, Rachel realized. “But she’s so old! The children need someone to play with them and look after them. I—”
“And,” she continued, cutting Rachel off, “I suggest that you make it clear to the reverend that you no longer desire his company.”
Rachel shook her head in disbelief. Caleb would never believe that.
“I just have one more thing to say.” She leaned closer to Rachel. “If you don’t stay away from him, I will tell everyone that I saw you two by the creek all alone, and you were kissing!”
Rachel knew what people would think of that. “But we weren’t! He just kissed me once….”
“Do we understand each other?” she demanded.
Rachel felt ill, but she had no choice. “Yes,” she said.
She stood and watched the door close behind the meddlesome woman. The impact of what she’d just agreed to do hit her. A sob rose from her chest and to her lips. Both hands gripped at the fabric covering her chest as if it were an attempt to prevent her heart from breaking.
“No, no, no …,” she sobbed mournfully. Her knees gave way and she sank to the floor. Her hands came up and covered her wet cheeks as sob after sob wracked her body.
All her hopes, her dreams, were dead.
She must let him go.
At six o’clock, a knock sounded at the parsonage door.
“Miss Rachel’s here!” Emmy called out as she started toward the door.
Caleb, who was just as delighted as Emmy, got to the door ahead of her. “I got it, Em,” he called unnecessarily as he turned the knob and threw open the door.
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