Stand Fast (DEA FAST Series Book 3)

by Kaylea Cross

  An eerie, high-pitched sound came out of her, a thin wail of grief torn from the depths of her soul and carried on the icy wind that couldn’t touch the cold inside her. She clapped her hands over her mouth, her entire body shaking as Prentiss drew near. She couldn’t take this. Was terrified of the grief crashing down upon her.

  Another man was next to her now. He and the first one grabbed hold of her arms, lifted her to her feet. She stood but wasn’t aware of doing so, her entire body numb. Her teeth were chattering, the pain of loss so sharp she wanted to scream.

  “Hey! Jaliya, look at me.” Taggart.

  She shook her head, unaffected by his sharp tone. She didn’t want to look at anyone but Zaid. She needed to see him, to see with her own eyes that he was really gone.

  As Prentiss drew near she was vaguely aware of someone else emerging from inside the helo.

  “Jaliya, for Christ’s sake, look at me.” Taggart stepped in front of her and grabbed her face in his hands, jolting her out of her shock. His dark blond brows were drawn together in a fierce frown as he glared down at her. “Zaid is alive.”

  She jerked. “W-what?”

  Seeming relieved that she had given even that tiny response, he relaxed and gave her a half-smile. “He’s okay. Look.” He let her go and turned aside for her to see.

  Her shocked gaze landed on a man climbing out of the battle-damaged helo carrying another body bag. For a moment she was sure her mind and eyes were playing a trick on her. That she was hallucinating and had imagined the past five seconds.

  Zaid. Walking toward her.

  Oh my God…

  “Zaid!” It tore from her in a desperate scream as she bolted toward him, her legs like jelly.

  His head snapped up and he stopped, an expression of pure relief crossing his handsome face in the perimeter lights. Her face crumpled as she ran for him, the tears streaming down her face preventing her from seeing anything else. Someone else rushed over and took the body bag from him and then he was running toward her.

  Jaliya flung herself into his arms and locked hers around his ribs, holding on with all the strength she had in her body as she buried her face in his throat and cried. Zaid crushed her tight to his chest, his arms like iron bands as they locked her to him.

  You’re alive. You’re alive…

  It was the only thought running through her head as she clung to him and cried her heart out, releasing all the grief and fear and guilt that had been choking her.

  Gradually, the endearing sound of his voice penetrated the haze in her brain. “I’m okay, honey. I’m okay.”

  She couldn’t stop crying, or shaking. “I th-thought…”

  “I see that,” he said with a soft chuckle that hit her square in the heart. “What did they tell you?”

  She shook her head, fought to get control. It wasn’t like her to cry like this, let alone in public, but she’d fallen to pieces and didn’t know how to get herself together. “Just t-two…KIA,” she managed in between hitching breaths.

  “Oh, baby, you had a real bad scare, huh?” he soothed, his mouth next to her ear.

  She nodded, not trusting her voice. Not willing to let go, half afraid that he would disappear if she did.

  Zaid held her for a minute longer, smoothing a hand up and down her back while keeping one arm locked around her waist. “It was close, but I’m fine. See? Right here holding you.”

  In answer she burrowed in closer and he let out a low groan/chuckle as he gathered her tight once more. “So you really do care, huh?” he murmured.

  He was teasing her to try and get her to stop crying but his words shredded her swollen, battered heart.

  Pulling her wet face from his chest, she looked up into his eyes. Gold and green flecks glittered back at her in the lights coming from behind her. “I love you.”

  His eyes flared hot, an expression of absolute joy crossing his face before he dragged her back into his arms and buried his face in her hair. “Love you too, sweetheart.”

  A hot, sweet pain sliced through her at the endearment, the tender intimacy in his voice as he said the words she’d dreamed of hearing. “Should have told you before,” she muttered, her shoulders hitching.

  “Nah. Way more romantic this way.”

  A watery laugh bubbled out of her. “Stuff of dreams, right here.”

  “They’ll make a movie about us someday. Star-crossed, black sheep Muslims finding love in a war zone. It’ll be epic. Probably win an Oscar for best movie.”

  That made her chuckle. Her legs didn’t feel so weak anymore, and she was no longer a frozen block of ice inside. Warmth was flooding her system, bringing with it a heavy wave of exhaustion and relief. It felt like she was floating, and Zaid was the only thing anchoring her to the ground.

  She let out a shaky sigh and relaxed against him, savoring the thump of his heartbeat beneath her cheek. “I love you. Can’t believe I almost lost you before I worked up the nerve to tell you.”

  “You can make it up to me later.” He tipped her head back with one hand and ran an assessing gaze over her face, gently wiping at her tears. Then he smiled and her heart rolled over in her chest. “Come on. Let’s get out of the cold.”

  She nodded, leaned into him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her back to the main building. Now that the torrent of emotion was behind her, she cringed inside as Taggart and the others all stopped what they were doing to stare at her and Zaid when they walked in.

  She stiffened but Zaid kept his arm firmly around her, and she had to admit she liked the proprietary gesture, the feeling that he was claiming her in front of the others. Not that there was any doubt in anyone’s mind how she felt about him, after that display outside.

  Taggart seemed to fight a grin before he brought the team’s attention back to him. Her boss, however, had a different reaction.

  David walked straight over and stopped in front of them with his hands on his hips, wearing an annoyed expression. “If you’re done here, we have to get Nasar back to Bagram.”

  Her whole face heated up. “Yes, of course.” She pulled away from Zaid, glanced up into his face and gave a tiny smile before following David into a back room. Feeling awkward, she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. I thought he was in that first body bag.”

  He shot her an irritated look and kept walking. “Just do your job, okay? We’ve been working for months to find this sonofabitch, and there’s no time for an emotional crisis right now.”

  Ouch. But she supposed she deserved that after the scene she’d just made. “Yes, sir.”

  In a tiny holding cell in the back room, Nasar was bound hand and foot and had a hood over his head. Jaliya wanted to punch him.

  “We’ll take him back to base and interrogate him there. I want everyone there. Set it up,” David told her.

  Jaliya immediately pulled out her phone and began making calls to alert the team. This was going to be a long night and she was already beyond exhausted. That crying jag had taken the stuffing out of her.

  Another helo arrived with more prisoners, from the rogue NIU agents who had attacked the others. It was going to be a hell of a mess trying to figure out who was dirty or not. Crews were still out there retrieving the dead and wounded.

  Forty minutes later, Jaliya headed outside with David, Nasar and the two armed soldiers tasked with guarding him. One of the Blackhawks already had its rotors turning, ready to fly them back to Bagram.

  She glanced around, searching for FAST Bravo, but didn’t see any sign of them. They’d probably been called out to assist with the cleanup effort, or had been taken to a meeting somewhere.

  With a heavy heart she climbed aboard the chopper and took her seat. The crew took off with the right side door still open. As the crew chief moved to close it, Jaliya spotted a lone figure standing below them.

  Zaid.

  He raised a hand in farewell even though she was certain he couldn’t see her, and pain sliced through her.

  She love
d him, but she couldn’t have him yet, and God only knew if or when they’d see each other again. It was why she’d fought so hard not to give into her feelings for him; she’d known this moment would come, whether now or in a few weeks.

  But he’d said he loved her, so she was going to fight for her man.

  ****

  Exhausted and lucky to be alive after the harrowing, fucked-up night they’d had, Reid Prentiss walked out of the main building at the FOB to find Zaid standing alone, staring up at the dark sky. Watching the Blackhawk carrying Jaliya and Nasar back to Bagram.

  Reid felt bad for the guy. Jaliya’s reaction when she’d seen him carrying the body bag earlier, and then the way she’d run to Zaid when she’d realized he was alive had touched even Reid’s cold, jaded heart. He’d known something was going on between the two of them, but he’d never guessed it was anything that serious. Clearly she and Zaid had formed a stronger attachment than anyone had realized. He hoped it worked out for them.

  Reid walked up next to him and stood there while the Blackhawk disappeared into the darkness. “You okay?” he asked without looking at Zaid, feeling the need to ask.

  “Yeah. You?”

  He grunted. “I want to hear my little girl’s voice.” Wanted it so bad his chest felt tight. That had been way too fucking close tonight. If he’d been killed, would Autumn know how much she meant to him? How much he loved her?

  It sliced him up inside to even wonder about that, or to think that she might forget him in time. As soon as he got back to their barracks, he was calling her. He didn’t care what time it was back in D.C., or whether he woke up his ex to do it. He just needed to hear Autumn’s voice and tell her he loved her.

  “I bet you do.” Zaid was quiet a moment. “How the hell am I gonna make this work, though? We’ll be back in D.C. in a few weeks.”

  Beats me. Relationships were fucking hard enough without adding in a geographical separation of that magnitude. But, maybe that was the key. Only seeing each other for a few months a year. Could be the secret to making it work long-term. “I suck at relationships, so I’m not really the guy to ask.”

  Zaid huffed out a laugh. “Right. Forgot.”

  He felt the need to say something comforting. “Talk to Rodriguez. Or Colebrook or Granger. They seem to have it figured out.”

  “Yeah. Maybe I will.” Zaid looked at him. “We ready for the next meeting?”

  He nodded. “In about five minutes.”

  Zaid turned and started for the building, then stopped. “Crap. Left my gear in the helo.”

  “I’ll grab it. You go take five.” He strode around the far side of the building where the Blackhawk crew was still inspecting their damaged aircraft. The tail section looked like Swiss cheese, and the right side of the fuselage didn’t look much better. It still amazed him that his team had made it back here in one piece.

  He climbed inside the open door to grab Zaid’s gear. When he emerged, the crew chief was by the tail section, talking to one of the pilots, whose body told him was a woman. Reid nodded at them and started to turn for the building, but stopped when the pilot pulled her helmet off to reveal honey-blond hair twisted into a knot at the base of her neck.

  He stared in astonishment at the pretty female pilot he recognized, trying to remember her name. Something Russian or Polish that ended in “ski”. He’d seen her around Bagram a few times, and at a couple of the briefings. Was she army? DEA?

  She gave him a tired smile and nodded back. “How’s your team?” she asked.

  He unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth and found his voice. “We’re all fine, thanks to you. Your bird sure took one hell of a beating out there.”

  She gazed at the Blackhawk with a fond expression. “She did. But she still got us home.”

  “No, you got us home.” It freaking amazed him that anyone could have flown back with a bird that badly damaged. “That was some damn fine flying.”

  The smile she flashed him hit him square in the chest, taking him off guard along with the flare of interest he felt. The first time he’d experienced it in…well, forever. “Just doing my job. And I’ve got a great crew. Have a good night.”

  “You too.” He walked back into the building and joined his teammates for the next meeting. But even as his commander got down to business, Reid couldn’t get that gorgeous smile out of his head.

  Chapter Twenty

  I’m back at base now, Zaid’s text read. Got time to talk?

  Jaliya would make the time. It had been eight days since she’d last seen him. She needed to hear his voice, have the conversation she’d been dreading. Ironically he and the rest of FAST Bravo were all back at Bagram now, and she was here in Kabul. But with their crazy schedules over the past week, they’d only been able to talk over the phone a handful of times.

  You have to let him go, her conscience told her.

  She ruthlessly dismissed the thought. There had to be a workable solution to resolve the geographical obstacle between them.

  She’d wracked her brain for the past eight days, and the only thing she had to show for it was the continued determination to fight for her man. With her career up in the air now and Zaid based out of D.C., how were they supposed to make anything work long-term? She could apply for a position there, or maybe even with another agency where she could utilize her skill set and experience, but that didn’t mean she’d get the posting.

  It might be far kinder to both of them to say goodbye…except that wasn’t an option for her. The man held her heart in the palm of his hand.

  She strode to her hotel room window and sank into a chair as she dialed Zaid, gazing out at the snow-capped mountains in the distance as the dial tone droned in her ear. She was still reeling from everything that had happened over the past twelve hours.

  When the agency decided on something, they moved fast. With Nasar rotting in a max security cell at an undisclosed black CIA facility in Eastern Europe and the DEA making good progress in uncovering his vast network, the most critical job was done.

  “Hey,” Zaid answered, a smile in his low, sexy voice.

  She couldn’t help but smile back, even though her heart was heavy. She missed him so much it hurt. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

  “No, this is perfect, actually.”

  Sounds of a scuffle and shouting erupted in the background. She frowned. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. Maka’s getting the beating he deserves for shooting Hamilton in the head with a Nerf dart, and the other guys are jumping in to get their revenge for the same.”

  Um… “Okay…”

  “It’s damn entertaining, I gotta say, but as much as I love watching this, I’d rather hear your voice. Gimme a sec.” The background noise receded and a moment later all was quiet. “There we go. So, how’re things?”

  “Good.” She took a deep breath and just said it. “Well, not really. I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving?” He sounded shocked.

  She sighed. “The agency’s decided that I’m too widely known here after the past few weeks, and with a bounty on my head it’s too high risk for me to stay on in Kabul or anywhere else in Afghanistan. Or in South Asia, for that matter. Basically, they’re kicking me out of the region for my own good.”

  “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  She shrugged, even though it hurt like hell to know she wouldn’t see him for a long time. “Nothing I can do. I already pled my case, but at least the agency values me and my work enough to find me another placement somewhere.” She’d request D.C. and beg if need be.

  “Where will you go?”

  “London, for the time being. At least until they decide what to do with me.”

  “Can you request a placement?”

  “Yes, but my language skills and cultural knowledge are my big ticket items, and if I’m not using them on a consistent basis, I’m not much use to them.”

  “You could put those to good use in D.C.”

  The note of hope in
his voice touched her, and so did knowing that they were on the same wavelength. “You would want me to transfer there?”

  “Are you kidding? More than anything.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Even more than sleeping with me?”

  “No, you’re right. I’d like it second best.”

  He was so damn cute. How was she supposed to leave without seeing him? “Hmm. Maybe I’ll think about it,” she teased. This had to work. They had to wind up together.

  “You should. That way I’d be able to spend quality time with you. Date you properly.”

  “Date me?” She laughed again. The idea was absurd after everything else that had happened between them to this point.

  “Yeah, you know—dinners and walks on the beach, movies. We’ll take getaway trips together and stay up all night to watch the sun come up.”

  “It sounds so…normal.” And romantic. “You sure that’s what you want?”

  “If I told you what I really wanted, it might scare you away.”

  Scare her away? “Well now I’m all kinds of intrigued. What is it you really want? Aside from getting me into bed.”

  “When do you leave?”

  The abrupt change in topic wiped the smile from her face. “My flight’s in just over four hours. So I wanted to talk to you before I left for the airport.”

  “Shit, I gotta go.”

  She blinked, a crushing weight of disappointment and sadness pressing down on her chest at his abrupt announcement. “What? Now?”

  “Right now. I’ll text you later, okay?” He sounded like he was in one hell of a rush. Maybe Taggart had called them in about something.

  “Okay.” There was so much she still needed to say, but she couldn’t now. “I…be careful. I miss you.” And I love you.

  “Miss you too, sweetheart. Bye.”

  He was gone before she could reply.

  She lowered the phone to her lap and stared at it for a long moment, feeling utterly dejected and more alone than she ever had in her life. In a few hours she’d be on her way to the U.K. where she’d try to pick up the pieces and form a new life for herself.