No doubt off to consult some of those good parenting books to determine how to proceed. Not that it really mattered whether they decided to ground me or refused to hire a new person to clean the stable.
It wasn't as if I were going to get the part.
CHAPTER THREE
"I got the part!" Oh, my gosh. No way. It was impossible. I read the list again, my heart crashing so loudly I barely heard Natalie's scream. I peered at the nicely printed list, a plain white paper on the drama bulletin board. I checked for my name yet again. Still there. Blue Waller. "I got the part." Time to throw up.
"You're 'Vladimir's mother," Natalie said. "Who got the part of Vladimir?"
We both leaned forward to stare at the sheet, and then my stomach literally dropped right out of my body. "Heath Cavendish?"
Natalie whistled. "That's the Heath I heard about? The one you met at tryouts?"
We'd been trying to spot Heath all week at school, but it was as if he didn't even go to school there. Except that Theo knew who he was, and he'd admitted that Heath was cool. Apparently, during the winter, Heath was one of the star basketball players, but during the fall he always did the musical.
A well-rounded individual, as my mom would say.
My mom.
Uh-oh.
"Is your mom going to let you accept the part?" Natalie asked.
I grimaced. "I don't think so. She's been wearing black all week."
Natalie lifted her brow. "All week?"
"Every single moment."
"That's not good." Natalie knows all about my mom and her black clothes. Black clothes mean bad news for the kids in the family. Which meant the odds of me being able to hang out with the boy of my dreams were not in my favor, not at all.
An older girl wearing a tight leather miniskirt and a pair of do-me boots pushed in beside us to look at the cast list. When she squealed something about getting the part of Vladimir's lover, I decided I hated her.
A lot. He was going to be kissing her regularly, while I was going to be home cleaning up goat poop. How is that fair?
We let ourselves be jostled away from the bulletin board as more students arrived to inspect the cast list. With all those wanna-bes, Mr. Howland would have no trouble replacing me if I couldn't accept the part.
And then I'd probably never see Heath again, since our schedules apparently didn't mesh at school.
"I have to find a way to be in this play." I was stating the obvious, but I didn't know what else to do. It wasn't like I had any grand ideas. Black was black, and I was in for it tonight.
But Natalie slung her arm over my shoulder. "We'll come up with something. I'll call Allie's cell phone and arrange a meeting after school. You have to be in the play. Nothing else is acceptable."
Unfortunately, my definition of acceptable wasn't necessarily the same as my mom's, and she was the ruler in my house.
This was not looking good.
* * *
Allie, Frances, and I were hanging out on the front steps of Mapleville High by the time Natalie finally got out of cross-country practice. She walked out with three guys, all of whom were very cute and even gave us friendly waves as they veered off toward the parking lot.
Cute and they drove? And Natalie knew them? She had been holding out on us!
"Why didn't you introduce us?" Allie demanded.
"To who?" Natalie flopped down next to Frances, who was reading her history text.
"Those boys," Allie accused. "Those three hot guys who were sweaty, athletic and drive."
Natalie glanced at the parking lot. "Them? They're not boys. They're...well...I guess they're boys. They're just on my cross-country team. They don't see me as a girl, so why should I bother to see them as boys?"
Allie groaned. "You have no idea how lucky you are! You run with those cute guys every day, and you don't even notice them. I'm stuck at an all-girls school all day long with no access to boys at all. Except my Latin teacher, who actually is quite hot."
Whoa. Hadn't heard about the Latin teacher. "What Latin teacher?"
"Sam."
Frances looked up from her book. "Sam? You call Mr. Novak by his first name?"
"Who's Sam?" I glanced at Natalie, but she shrugged her shoulders. At least I wasn't the only one who'd never heard of the sexy Latin teacher.
Frances narrowed her eyes at Allie. "Mr. Novak is our new Latin teacher. He's just out of college. Very young and not all that talented at teaching."
"But he's hot." Allie fluffed her hair. "I've been struggling at Latin lately, so starting next week he's going to tutor me one-on-one twice a week."
"I thought you got an A last year in Latin," I said.
"I did. But this year is so much harder."
I glanced at Natalie and Frances, and they both looked a little concerned. Like I felt. "Allie. You can't date a teacher."
"I'm not. I'm getting tutoring from him. So what if he's fun to look at? No crime in that, is there?"
Allie would never lie to us. None of us would lie to each other. When you've been friends with people for eleven years, there's a certain protocol about friendship, one of which is never lying to each other. At least not about the big things, or anything that matters.
It's okay to tell your friend that she looks good just before she meets a boy, even if she doesn't, but she has no time to change her clothes. Looking less than your best can be overcome if you're mentally confident. Because, as Louisa always tells us, winning boys is all about attitude. If you convey the right attitude, they're done, even if you don't happen to be carrying the best look at that particular moment.
But then again, that's Louisa. She could look good even if she broke out in a massive attack of zits and puffed out like the Pillsbury dough boy.
The rest of us aren't so lucky. Well, me, at least. I guess I'll have to figure out how to master the Attitude, because my looks certainly aren't going to send any boys out onto The Ledge.
But first I had a much bigger problem on my hands. "So anyone have any good ideas for tackling my mom?"
"I think we were on the right track at dinner the other night when you started working the 'well-rounded individual' angle," Allie said. "Don't your parents worry because you have no interests?"
I grinned. "They're more concerned because I actually eat meat and things that might have been treated with chemicals. I think when I'm sleeping they sneak into my bedroom to make sure I don't have another arm growing out of my back."
"Hmm...so, can you work the musical into a nature-organic deal?" Frances closed her book and set it on the step, her indication that she was giving my problem her full attention. "I don't suppose it has an environmental message or anything?"
"I don't know. I haven't read the script. But I doubt it. Not if Vladimir has a lover."
A lover. Heath probably had love scenes with that girl. And I was going to play his mother. The odds were definitely stacked against me, even if I managed to get my parents to let me be in the show.
"Too bad you couldn't have gotten the lover part," Allie said.
"Then I would have had to sing," I pointed out.
"Oh. Guess that wouldn't work then."
All my friends have heard me sing. Let's just say it's not a pretty sight. Or sound. It's just ugly all around. I'll never sing in front of anyone other than Allie, Natalie, and Frances. Ever.
"We're not making progress here," Frances said. "We have to stay focused."
Frances was the orderly one among us. She always had a goal or a plan and she was always focused on it. Her homework was always done Friday night, in case she had an emergency later in the weekend and couldn't finish it. Not that Frances would ever allow herself to have an emergency, of course.
"You brought up the Theo situation, right?" Natalie asked. "Pointed out that they make adjustments for him?"
"Yep."
"I've got it!" Frances jumped to her feet. "Work the female angle."
"I don't think it's going to work for Blue to flau
nt her wares at her parents," Allie said. "That usually only works on males you aren't related to."
Frances wrinkled her nose at Allie. "I meant the equal-rights thing." She looked at me. "Your parents are all about equal rights for everyone and everything that has ever suffered at the hands of the more fortunate or more powerful, right?"
"That's why we have seventeen previously homeless animals at our house. They suffer; we save them."
"Exactly." Frances was beaming now. "By your parents enabling Theo to pursue other interests but not supporting you, they are contributing to society's inherent bias against women being equals to men. Their actions can be extrapolated to the workplace, to positions of power, and even to emotional strength and independence." She folded her arms across her chest and grinned smugly. "If your parents want you to live in a world where women can do anything they want, they have to give you those same opportunities and teach you that women are equals with men."
"Wow." I couldn't believe it. It was perfect.
Natalie and Allie were staring at Frances with stunned expressions.
"That's brilliant," Allie said.
"Phenomenal," Natalie added.
"I am so glad you spend all that time studying," I said.
"It's the girls-school influence," Frances said. "We hear about that sort of thing all the time."
"In fact, our assembly last week was about sexploitation," Allie added. "But I never thought to apply it in real life. Maybe I should start listening when people ramble on about that stuff."
"Sexploitation?" Now, that sounded much more interesting than our assembly on student government day. "What's that?"
Allie shrugged. "Frances can probably explain it better. I wasn't paying that much attention. Sam, my Latin teacher, was only two rows down from me, so I was watching him."
"Sexploitation is basically turning women into sex symbols," Frances said. "Selling things through sex. Like most beer commercials."
"Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with using sexuality to get what you want," Allie said. "As females, it's one of our most powerful weapons. A warrior would be foolish not to use one of his weapons because of some moral code."
"You mean like in the movies, when the hero has a gun, then in some inane, macho move, he throws it aside for a fistfight with the bad guy?" Natalie asked.
"Exactly," Allie said. "It's not a strategic thing to do."
Natalie nodded. "I always thought that was dumb. Just shoot the bad guy and grab the girl and go live happily ever after."
"I totally agree," Allie said. "Use your weapons."
My mom would be horrified by this discussion. Not because of the sex talk, but because of the talk about warriors and shooting people. As I said before, my parents don't believe in war. Or violence of any kind. Frighteningly enough, there is actually a sign above our fireplace that says, "Make love, not war."
Would you expect anything else from parents who would name their daughter Blueberry? In case you haven't noticed, I have a thing about my name.
If I walked into my house and announced that there was too much violence at school and I wanted to start making love to every violent student, would my parents take down that sign? Might be interesting to try sometime, like when they're really driving me crazy.
But first I had another mission. "You guys want to come to dinner with me tonight? My parents would be even more vulnerable with all of you there—four impressionable girls who need to learn that the world is a place where we can be equals."
"I'm in," Natalie said.
"As always," Allie said.
"I have to study." Frances picked up her overstuffed backpack.
I wanted Frances there. Yes, studying was important, but I'd been harboring a growing suspicion that she might have a hidden weakness. I decided to try it out. "Then we could get my parents to drive us to Theo's football game."
Frances pursed her lips. "I guess I could work tomorrow morning instead."
Ah, yes. I was beginning to think that our very serious friend Frances, who had no interest in boys, might be nursing the slightest crush on my brother. A serious situation I was going to have to look into. Theo wasn't generally that nice to girls. I didn't think it would be a good match.
But then again, this would be Frances's first interest in a boy. Did we really want to discourage it? I was going to have to consult Allie and Natalie on this one.
After we dealt with my parents, of course. I couldn't lie to myself; it wasn't going to be easy.
* * *
Mom was delighted by the extra guests. Having others join us for a family dinner enabled her to spread her positive, loving influence even more broadly in the world. If we had enough regulars at family dinners, my mom probably thought she could cut down on the murder rate in the United States, and possibly the world.
Well, not quite. But sometimes I think she really believed it.
And she was really happy to have my friends there so she could save them from evil. Especially since I think she considers Allie, Natalie, and Frances her daughters who just happen to be living with other families at the moment. It's always good to have the opportunity for positive parenting of her extended family.
We were halfway through the tofu and veggie whole-wheat lasagna when I dove in. "I got the part in the musical."
Marissa, my faithful follower, squealed and clapped her hands. "Can I bring you flowers at your performance?"
Gotta love Marissa. My parents would hate to disappoint her. She's even more impressionable than I am.
Dad grinned. "Way to go. I knew you would. It's those Waller genes. They predispose you to success."
I had Waller genes, and I had never considered them my key ingredient to the life I wanted. I just found them embarrassing. But now was not the time to express my displeasure with that ugly fate.
Mom was still wearing black, but she did smile and congratulate me. Then she looked like she was going to launch into a discussion of the "repercussions" of my being late for dinner earlier in the week.
I wasn't going to give her a chance. "At school, Frances and Allie had an assembly on sexploitation."
Mom lifted her brows. "And what is sexploitation?"
Some parents would send Marissa out of the room if sex came up at the dinner table, but not my parents. They figured they could influence her better if they were present whenever these types of topics came up. Better for Marissa to hear about sex around their dinner table than under the football bleachers with a boy.
Given that I was fourteen and still hadn't experienced a real kiss with a boy, there may have been some indication that their approach was successful. I was definitely going to have to do something about that. But first things first. I couldn't put Heath on The Ledge if I never got to see him.
Not that I was going to put him on The Ledge. I was going to keep him right next to me on the couch. No way was I mean enough to put a boy I liked on The Ledge. Now, if it was a boy I didn't like or who was mean to my friends? That was another situation entirely.
"Sexploitation is turning women into sex objects to sell things or advance agendas. It's about making the only value of women sexual," Frances said.
Mom did a double take.
I wasn't sure I'd ever seen anyone actually do a double take before. But she definitely looked at me, then did some sort of jerky thing with her head, then looked at me again. We must have hit a nerve.
This was good. Very good.
"You know that sex is only about love and respect," my mom said. "Marissa, you know that, don't you?"
Marissa just shrugged and drank her milk.
"Anyway..." Okay, here I went for the kill. "The sexploitation issue made me think about how you tell me all the time that as a girl, I'm equal to boys, and that I should never let anyone walk all over me just because I'm a girl."
"None of you should." My dad shook a cooked carrot at my friends. "All of you are important, valuable human beings."
This was going perfectl
y. "I have a question."
"What is it?" Mom actually looked a little wary. This was going splendidly.
"If I'm not devalued because of my sexuality, or worthy of less because I'm female, how come you make dinner exceptions for Theo but not for me?"
Utter silence fell over the table.
Frances was studiously mashing her lasagna, Allie and Natalie were staring expectantly at my parents, as if they were waiting for some great revelation, and Marissa was weaving the lasagna noodles into some sort of artistic decor.
And Theo wasn't there—because he was getting ready for his football game.
Mom looked at my dad. "Conference in the other room."
My dad nodded, and the two of them disappeared into the kitchen. We didn't dare say anything, just sat there eating quietly. Except Marissa, who apparently had some artistic talent, as she turned her food into a very interesting arrangement.
It took less than two minutes for my parents to return.
They stood at the head of the table, my dad's arm around my mom, in their customary show of allegiance. The message in our house: never try to go around one parent to get to the other. They are one unit of love and authority.
My mom was the one who spoke. "Girls, we have to admit that we temporarily did fall into the trap of treating you all differently from Theo. Yes, as girls, you are more vulnerable. But it's our job to empower you, instead of trying to protect you by treating you differently. And if anyone ever tries to tell you your vulnerability is justification for not giving you equal opportunity, don't accept it."
Dad chimed in. "Blue, you can be in the play. I'll find someone to take care of the afternoon animal chores while you're at rehearsals, and we will adjust the family dinnertime to ensure you'll be able to attend."
Yes! This was so awesome!
"But..." My mom paused.
"But what?" I blurted out. Uh oh. My excitement was immediately tempered by wariness.
Putting Boys on the Ledge Page 3