After watching him rummage around for his car keys she decided to stop giving him the silent treatment. “Here they are.” She’d had them balled in her palm the entire time.
She placed both her hands on his chest and slid them slowly across to take ahold of his shoulders. “I have to tell you one final time, I should be going with you. The more time you spend alone with her and Mya, the more you’re being tricked and connived.”
“I’m not being tricked by anyone or anything. In fact, it’s me who’s up ahead. My visits with Mya are the most rewarding experience ….” He paused, rethinking how he should put it. “Instead of three hours like the judge said, she allows me the full day. I’d rather try to work something out between us then wait another four weeks and go through all the fighting.”
Trevelle rolled her eyes. “We had her exactly where we wanted her and you’re falling for this pretense of her being fair?” Trevelle took back the car keys as hostages. “Listen to me, please.”
“I’ve been listening to you and all you’ve done is tell me how idiotic I am.”
“If you were listening,” she purred, “you would have heard me say what you were doing was idiotic. That’s entirely different. For the sake of what we’ve been working for, you’re accepting crumbs when you deserve the entire loaf of bread, sweetheart. That’s all I’m trying to say.”
He scoffed. “I’m lucky to have what time I can get with Mya.”
Trevelle slapped her hand into her palm. “You see, there it is. Venus has got you eating out of her hand. Feeding you this incredible guilt trip.”
“Isn’t that the business we’re in? Guilt.” He snatched the keys back, this time slipping them into his pocket. “Repent, confess, make a new life. That’s exactly what I’m doing, righting wrongs. I want a relationship with my child.” He shot his eyes to the left, then the right, anywhere but in Trevelle’s direction.
“My child?” Trevelle lowered her voice to almost a whisper, yet it could fill the sound of an auditorium. “You hadn’t seen her since the day she was born. That child?”
“My child. And I’m proud to say it and I’ll keep saying it.” Airic’s pale cheeks turned a soft crimson, letting her know he’d reached his boiling point. “My child.”
“If it wasn’t for me, you would’ve kept your deaf, dumb, and blind status forever. You wouldn’t have any type of relationship with that little girl. I did the hard work by pushing you to stand up and be a man, to acknowledge your rights as her father.”
He clapped his hands in a mock applause. “Thank you. Is that what you want to hear? You’re right as usual. Without your enthusiasm and constant prodding, I probably wouldn’t have this opportunity. But the fact still remains, Mya is my daughter. I’m going to stand up and be the man you’ve begged me to be and take responsibility for my child and decide what’s in her best interest. And right now, that’s what I’m doing.” He headed to the door.
He turned suddenly toward her. “Sometimes I swear with all you’ve been through, I don’t know how you can be so callous.” The door slammed. She picked up the Ming vase filled with a fresh bouquet and heaved it; it only landed with a thud.
She was grateful it hadn’t broken. She only wished she were as strong. She was shattered on the inside and owed the honor to every man who’d ever poked, pushed, prodded his manhood inside her tender walls. Each time they’d torn away a piece of her, leaving her small and degraded. She’d kept her distance from men in the past, avoiding relationships by refusing to acknowledge the glances of appreciation from various suitors. Not giving into their phony admiration and respect. Absolutely sure they were after one thing and one thing only. Letting Airic into her life had been divine intervention. God had finally called her out from behind the wall she’d built high and wide. She’d trusted Airic, she’d trusted God. He wouldn’t have sent her someone who wasn’t going to treat her with kindness and respect, not after all she’d been through. She wouldn’t give up on him.
She needed to figure out how to put things back the way they were …. before Venus. She wished she’d never pushed him into finding his daughter in the first place.
A wife has a duty to make things right.
Lydia had barely raised an eyebrow and Kellogg was putting Trevelle out like a stray cat. Trevelle could only wish to have that kind of power over her husband. The kind that would make him do anything for the sake of their marriage, even leave his unborn baby on the street the way Kellogg had left her.
Even after she’d whispered the news, “I’m having your baby,” Kellogg did nothing. She could understand how he didn’t believe her. Seemed like nothing more than a desperate plea for help. But she wasn’t lying. And truly not all that desperate. Cain had taken her back into his flock and treated her surprisingly better than when she’d run off. She’d heard how Kellogg had threatened him. If Cain laid a hand on her, that hand would be removed one finger at a time. Cain took heed, making it a point to ask, “I’m treating you good, right?” just to make sure there was no misunderstanding. “Yeah,” she’d answer back. “Real good.”
What more could Kellogg have done to save her? She refused to stay with the family who’d taken her in. He couldn’t take her back to his home. All the shelters and halfway houses were full. So she was back on the streets and every time Kellogg passed her without stopping it broke her heart. The hardest part was him not believing her.
“I swear I’m not lying. You’re the only person I was with that whole time I was staying with you. This baby was in me before you kicked me out, I swear.”
Those words stung as she knew they would. Kellogg dealt with the guilt of having betrayed Lydia every day. The guilt of not being able to fix the hurt he’d caused. The guilt of not being able to fix here.
She felt the tears welling up inside. “I thought you’d want to love this baby, too, just like your boys,” her voice squeaked. She was tired and hungry all the time now. “You’re the best father I’ve ever seen. Please, Kellogg, I wouldn’t lie to you. You have to believe me.” The whole time she was begging, Kellogg stared straight ahead. The softness of him seemed to have tightened up, turning hard and bitter.
“Until you get off these streets, I don’t want to hear nothing you have to say,” he said, still not facing her to show he wasn’t giving in.
“Where am I supposed to go, huh? Wait for Mr. Clendon to come creeping into my bed after Mrs. Clendon falls asleep? Well, I wasn’t gonna give it away for free. I may as well work these damn streets if I’ma have his old ass crawling on top of me.”
Kellogg slammed the steering wheel with his heavy palm then pointed a finger. “You should’ve told me instead of running around like some wild ….”
“What, say it? Some wild bitch in heat? I’ve heard it all. You think you can hurt my feelings …. huh, I don’t have any feelings left. Leave then. I don’t care.”
To her utter shock, the car sputtered into gear and took off. Kellogg didn’t look back. She was five months along. Her long lithe frame made it easy to hide the bulge. Her plan for the next four was to eat as little as possible so the baby could grow but she wouldn’t. She hadn’t snorted, swallowed, injected, or smoked anything to dull her misery. She took her daily dose of hell straight on, eyes wide open. She’d planned to take herself to one of those shelters after she couldn’t hide the pregnancy anymore. They’d never turn a pregnant girl away days from giving birth.
Meanwhile, she was charging more and keeping the extra for herself …. and her baby. She’d actually planned on keeping the small person growing inside her. She couldn’t wait to hold him or her and hoped and prayed that some of Kellogg’s goodness would make their child a better person. Someone with a big heart and a strong mind, like Kellogg. Even with him turning his back on her, she loved him still. Couldn’t stop loving him even when she’d tried, cursing him and his wife and happy little children to hell. She couldn’t stop loving him because he was true, honest, and loyal. Even if it was Lydia he was loyal to.
Only she never made it out the door.
“What the hell is this?” Cain stood blocking the entrance. It was three in the morning. He usually didn’t come back til dawn. “I been driving around all night looking for yo’ ass and you up in here?” He backed her inside with a shove.
“I’m on the rag. I had to come and get something to stop it up.”
“Yeah, that’s not what I hear.” He slapped her arm draped across her belly. “Big as a damn house. You think can’t nobody see that shit?”
Her head fell, shoulders slumped. More so out of relief. “I’m keeping my baby. I’m not doing this anymore. I—”
“I, I, what? No ‘I’ in ‘team,’ ain’t you heard that, shugga? Word is super cop don’t want nothing to do with you. Yo’ ass is mine. You come and go when I say so. What you gon do with a baby? Raise it up to suck dick like you?”
“I—”
Her last thought left her mind with the slap that came hard and fast across her face. The throng of pain came late and slow. He’d struck her four or five times before her knees buckled and she realized he had no plans on stopping. On the ground she used her hands to try and protect what was most important: her stomach, her and Kellogg’s baby. The punches found their way landing painfully. Every blow she knew the baby felt as she did.
“My baby, you’re killing my baby.”
“No baby, you hear me? You think I didn’t know? He kicked her for final measure. Only thing she was grateful for was the kick to her head. She would gladly die before seeing her baby come into the world under Cain’s rule.
38
Venus
Too easy, why hadn’t I thought of this before? This was my overconfident self doing the talking as I sat facing Airic, eating slimy uncooked fish like it was yesterday. Also like yesterday, I was forced to partake for the sake of the relationship. How things changed yet stayed the same. Sushi was not my favorite food but it was his. And since I had to coax him into the meeting under the guise of defeat, I at least had to offer up a sacrificial meal. I chewed the last bite and swallowed without a hint of displeasure. With every bite I dreamed of chugging down gallons of water. I concentrated on looking pretty while chewing, hoping I wasn’t making a Fear Factor face.
“Delicious,” I said, while sneaking a peek at my watch. Airic and I had been sitting for the last hour and had yet to discuss Mya. I’d left her at the preschool and knew I only had four hours to make a miracle happen. Jake was tucked away at a sound studio to finish the recording he’d been working on before the shooting at Sugar Hill Studios. He promised he would be safe in an undisclosed location. No gun-wielding attackers. No hostages. No police. I wished I could make the same promise, that I was safe and doing the right thing. But I knew sneaking off to meet with Airic alone was a betrayal of the worst kind. If Jake found out, there was no telling what he’d do.
“Next time, give me some fried chicken and waffles,” I finally said once the gagging sensation left my throat.
“I can’t remember the last time I had fried chicken,” Airic said as if it were akin to skydiving.
“Oh my goodness, are you telling me you’re a vegetarian? I mean besides fish, of course.”
“Yes, and it’s the best thing I ever did. Completely cut out meat, eggs, and poultry. No cheese, no butter. I feel like a twenty-year-old.” He slapped at his flat stomach. “Look at this.”
“Impressive. Not that you were ever on the heavy side,” I said.
“You’re looking pretty good yourself these days.”
“Thank you. Not easy being home all day with Mya. I end up eating double, whatever she won’t finish and mine.”
“So what’s our next move?” he asked, wiping his mouth with the white linen napkin. The restaurant had a contemporary design, smoke-gray walls and tinted windows. The concrete floors were gray as well with a slight sheen. If not for the expensive pendant lighting hanging over every tiny gray table, it would be a dead ringer for the inside of a prison …. a very contemporary prison.
I dropped my gaze and played with the edge of the plate. “Well, we definitely have some healing to do. It would only make sense that we take everything slow, for Mya’s sake, so we don’t fall back into the fighting. She’s the important one here,” I said.
“I agree,” he said.
“I’m fine with visitation. I think it’s been going well.” I took a large deep breath. My stomach bucked and tossed the raw fish while I thought of other small talk. A serious toil and trouble was taking effect. I reached over and tilted the last drop of water from my glass and looked around for help. The waiter rushed over and poured. I drank some more. I thought about what I’d truly come to ask and said it. “Airic, I think it’s time we took this out of the court’s hands, don’t you?” I squinted while I said the last few words; the growing gas bubble was now pushing against my already labored heart and lungs.
“Yes,” he said quietly, then again more eager to be heard, “Yes I do. It never should have gone this far. In light of what I’d learned about Jake and his criminal association, all I wanted to do was step in out of duty. After seeing Mya, I can see she’s happy and well taken care of.”
“Well, thank you.” I adjusted in my seat to try and move the gas from one side of my stomach to the other.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I’m fine.”
“In retrospect I should’ve been the bigger man and ignored the way you and Jake snuck around behind my back.”
I let out a long and much needed belch. Silent as it was, there was no denying my relief. “Oh …. excuse me. I’m sorry about that ….” I waved the scent of sushi and horseradish sauce out of the air.
“Thank you. I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to hear your apology.”
“Wait …. I was talking about—”
“Venus, you know me, I put up a good front but my feelings were hurt. In fact I was devastated. You falling in love with someone else while we were together tore me up inside. Worse, you lying about it for so long, pretending he wasn’t the reason.” He calmly reached across the table and touched my hand. “I’m glad you’ve finally taken responsibility for your actions. It shows a lot of maturity on your part.”
“Thank you,” I said, while swallowing my pride and a few choice expletives.
He straightened his shoulders. “I plan to be a full part of our daughter’s life. I’m not talking about visitation, Venus. I think the whole idea of seeing a child one day out of the week is a poor excuse and a cop-out. I want to be involved in every aspect of her life. I propose fifty-fifty physical custody. Trevelle and I will be buying a house in the area, that way Mya won’t have to change schools or make any adjustments.”
Before he could continue on with his grand plan, the waitress stepped between us. “Can I get you two anything else?”
“No, just the bill please,” Airic said, while pulling out his wallet. “What do you say we go find some fresh sorbet?” He gave his stomach a pat. “I still have room for desert.”
Surely anyone could understand desperate times called for desperate measures. Would it kill me to sit across from him and listen, laugh, and occasionally agree with his inaccurate retelling of our past? He had big plans. So did I. Determination and creativity were my strong suit. It was time I used them.
39
Sons and Daughters
Delma surveyed the beautiful grounds of Judge Lewis’s home and wondered how much more a senior judge earned. The home was classic on the outside with huge columns posted at the entrance and wide plantation shutters flanking each of the multitude of windows—but on the inside everything shouted I was bought just yesterday.
Judge Lewis spotted her and moved quickly in her direction. “You made it.” He appeared to look for someone
else, over her shoulder, before leaning in for a cheek kiss.
“Well, of course.” Delma pressed her cheek against his for a good old-fashioned southern welcome. The south had invented air kisses, contrary to the vain belief of the Hollywood rich.
“You’re the only one who can put some life into this party.” Judge Lewis wore a white open-collar shirt tucked into his belted tan slacks. The sun was warm and the breeze carried the distinct sweet smell of jasmine. Delma was glad she’d gone shopping and found the gauzy summer dress she was wearing. Something told her the day would be light and beautiful just like this. Hudson had remained stubborn and refused to be an accomplice to her brown-nosing.
“Delma, you’re here,” Judge Lewis’s wife called out with a sweet syrupy goodness. She smiled wide and opened her arms wider. Her jet-black hair was cut blunt at her elegant neckline. “You look wonderful. Look at you, better than ever.” If anyone else had given her the compliment she probably wouldn’t have believed them. But Mrs. Lewis was genuine and chic with minimal effort. She wore a peach floral sundress and pearl earrings. Her skin was remarkably flawless for a woman in her sixties.
Delma appreciated the compliment because she felt better about herself than she had in a long time. “I’m feeling on top of the world. I had a run-in with Mr. High Blood Pressure and I’ve been eating healthier,” Delma told her. “Trust me, it’s not easy giving up your favorite foods, but if your life is on the line, the choice gets real clear.”
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