The judge quieted and took a moment to gain her composure. “This conversation has come to a close. I have no reason to be afraid of you. I did nothing wrong. Besides, you care too much about Keisha to make false accusations against her mother.” A curt smile appeared. “Or is that just another one of your acts?”
Trevelle slammed her fist on the table. “That’s where you’re wrong. Right now the only thing I care about is putting my family back together. You’re going to make it happen. I promise you one thing, if you don’t, your so-called sealed adoption will be on the desk of one of my very good friends who works in the United States justice department. I’m sure a judge who goes around forging documents would be of great interest. And who knows what else they might find.”
“I knew you weren’t concerned about Keisha. Selfish. But that’s fine with me. You know what, fine. You want to have a crack at motherhood, I’ll give you your shot. You didn’t have to show yourself like this because I had planned to award Mr. Fisher with full parental rights and fifty-fifty physical custody.”
“But you’re wrong.” Trevelle couldn’t help but smile. “As a matter of fact, I want you to make sure Airic doesn’t receive custody … not even visitation.”
“Excuse me?” Judge Delma’s face twisted and frowned. “What in the world are you talking about? You don’t want him to have contact with his child?”
“I’m glad we’re clear.” Trevelle breathed easy, feeling victorious even if she’d only gotten half of what she was asking for. In the world of negotiations it was better than leaving empty-handed. Keisha would have to find her real parents on her own. She’d done everything she could and now on to the next item on the agenda.
“I have no grounds for stopping this biological father from seeing his child unless he’s caused some bodily harm to that child. And even then he’d get supervised visits. You’re asking me to shut him completely out of this little girl’s life … and your reasoning for this insanity—”
“None of your business why. All I know is that you’re going to do what I say. Why are you finding this so difficult? I know you hate me … for whatever reason. I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at me and my husband. Seems I’m only asking you to do what you wanted to do from the beginning.”
“That’s not true. I pride myself on being as fair and impartial as I possibly can.”
“Oh please.” Trevelle laughed with sarcasm. “Impartial? All I’m here to do is make sure you don’t suddenly find your moral compass. Do exactly what you’d planned to do. If you don’t, you’ll find yourself in a very awkward situation on the other side of that bench you sit so high and mighty on. Not to mention the shame and heartache you’ll bring on Keisha herself.”
Delma Hawkins leaned forward, eyes wide with serious intent. “Don’t mention my child again, do you understand? She has nothing to do with any of this.”
“Keisha is a grown woman, not a child.”
“That ‘grown woman’ will always be my child, I don’t care if she’s seventy and I’m a hundred and ten. You can stop pretending to care about her to get to me.”
Trevelle wanted to correct her and say loud and clear how much she cared, but thought better of stepping over the indelibly drawn line. They faced one another with deep intense glares. A standstill with both parties’ hands on the trigger.
“Fine. Done,” Trevelle breathed out with an exasperated sigh. “I’ll stay away from Keisha.”
Satisfaction rose in the judge’s voice. “Okay then, we have a deal. I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure. But I can’t.” She stood up and snatched her purse and turned to leave. “After next week’s court date, I hope I never see you again. I might even get the cable cut off just so I don’t accidentally land on your late-night angel façade.”
Trevelle stood up as well. “Wait a minute. I want you to know, I sincerely care about Keisha.” She held up her finger to cut off the woman before she went on a tirade. “She’s troubled. She knows you’ve lied to her, but she respects you too much to bring it to the open. Forget about me and whatever you may have against me and do what’s right for your daughter.”
A flash of compassion crossed the judge’s face, then just as quickly turned cold with hatred. “Like I said, my child. Don’t even think of crossing me.”
Trevelle watched her leave and felt a light wave of relief.
46
All the King’s Men
Delma waited in the car around the block for Hudson to meet her. She felt like laying on the horn out of frustration. “C’mon, man.” She rocked impatiently behind the steering wheel. She saw him turn the corner then pick up to a nice trot. With his powder-dusted hair making him look like a seventy-year-old man, someone would’ve been shocked to see him running.
He jumped into the passenger side. Delma sped off.
“Did you hear that crazy woman? She’s insane.” Delma swerved to pass a car in front of her, refusing to slow down. “Out of her mind,” she sang out. “In all my days I’ve never come across crazy like that.”
“First of all, pull over so I can drive.”
She came to a stop and they quickly played musical seats.
Once seat belts were buckled, Hudson stepped on the gas and wasn’t doing that much better. “I heard every word, that’s why I went into a choking fit. You were about to spill the beans. Lord knows things are weird enough.”
“Understatement. All of a sudden she doesn’t want her husband to have custody, not even visitation. That’s one vindictive chick. Poor man has no idea he’s married to the devil incarnate. She’s dangerous, just like you said. What if she really tries to report me? Oh Lord, I’m going to prison. I’m going to lose everything, my reputation, my life, my daughter.”
“Stop it, now. You did good. You didn’t admit to anything. Seems to me she’d have a tough time trying to explain blackmailing a judge in the first place.” He pulled the tiny plastic piece out of his ear. “Besides, we’ve got a tape, too. You didn’t implicate yourself in the slightest.”
“But if I do what she says, it’ll be an admission of guilt.” Delma wrung her nervous hands together in her lap.
“Calm down. Breathe. I need you to relax, Delma.”
“I’m fine. I’m okay.” She turned the air-conditioning up, letting it spray her face. “I’m half-relieved. Strike that, I’m relieved she knows nothing about my child’s biological mother or father,” she said with pristine calm. “Finally, my life is back on track. Whew, I thought I was going to have a heart attack in there.” She let out a nervous giggle.
Hudson reached out and laid his hand on top of hers. His eyes shot a look of concern and honest caring. “Don’t even play like that. I’m not done with you yet. I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, a long life.” He squeezed her hand.
Delma didn’t know how to respond. She turned her face toward the window and focused on what was important. Getting through the next few days. Presenting a believable finding as to why Airic Fisher couldn’t have custody, let alone visitation. This was the last and final hurdle she’d have to jump and then she’d have her life back.
47
Venus
I was back at the park. Mya was in the play area and I stood off to the side, a safe distance away so I could hear my mother on the other end of my cell phone without kids screaming with playful joy in the background. I’d spent the last twenty minutes assuring both my parents I didn’t need them to come out and do any hand holding.
“I’m sure. However this turns out, Jake and I need to deal with it together.” My focus was on Mya, where she played on the slide.
There was an awkward pause. The phone moved and adjusted before my father’s soft husky voice came on. “Hey precious, everything is going to work out, you here? No matter what the outcome, you’ve got everything to be thankful for. You make sure Jake understands that. You’ve got your health. You’ve got your whole lives ahead of you.”
“Dad, I know. I’m okay, really. I was just expla
ining to Mom that it’s going to be a hard adjust …” I trailed off, not wanting to give any hints of what was really going on. How the tension between us was thick enough to slice. “You’re right, we have each other.”
I’d expected the letter from Airic by now with the terms we’d agreed to. But it hadn’t come. I felt duped and embarrassed for trusting him. Maybe if I’d gone through with my part of the bargain. At the last minute I couldn’t go through with it. He said he understood, but still no letter from his lawyer. Instead, I was left counting down to our final court date, feeling helpless and bitter.
“Precious, your mom and I don’t mind flying out. In fact, we’d give anything to be there.” My father’s love reached through the phone and wrapped warm arms around me. Go ahead and let it out, precious.
“Dad, really, I’m fine.”
He handed the phone back to my mother while trying to whisper, “She’s not doing good.” My mother was back in force on the phone. “All you need to know in your heart is that you’ve done all you can do.”
Well, that was a definite understatement. I’d pretty much done everything possible—to ruin my chances, not the other way around. I couldn’t tell her how I’d ran through a police barricade, received a hundred hours of community service as punishment, or how Child Protective Services had sent a warning letter … thank goodness they were undermanned.
“I’ll be praying for you,” my mother said. “If you need us, me and your dad will be on the first thing flying.”
“Thanks, Mom. Tell Dad I love him. I’ll talk to you guys soon.” I swiped at my eyes to keep my vision clear to see Mya. She was standing at the top of the slide, holding up the line. She spun around and signaled for the other kids to give her space like she was a band leader. I headed toward Mya to try and quell the chaos. “Mya, sweetie, let the other kids go if you’re not ready.”
“They have to back up, Mommy.”
“Sweetie, if they back up too much someone’s going to fall off the edge. Just slide down. Come on, I’ll catch you.”
She shook her head and pinned her eyebrows closer together. “They’re in my way, Mommy.” I thought back to what Airic had said about me … selfish, immature. “Mya, move out of the way or slide. Those are your choices. Now,” I emphasized with a deepening of my voice.
“Daddeee,” Mya yelled and waved. I followed her line of vision to Jake. He wore a breezy white shirt with his sleeves folded back. His slim denim jeans were courtesy of his JP Wear line and reminded me of when we were happy.
She slid to her butt and pushed off. She came shooting down with her legs straight for propelling ease, landing on her feet and into Jake’s arms. How he’d managed to leap in front of me when I’d just been staring at him was beyond me. Lately my mind had been in slow motion and false starts.
“What’re you doing here?”
“Saw the note,” he said. He’d been to the barber. His head was freshly shaven. Only hair left on his head was his dark and lovely eyebrows, lashes, and trimmed mustache. He held Mya for a minute before putting her down. “Go play and be good. I saw you up there bossing everybody around.” After she got a few feet away he said, “That’s my baby, don’t let them little boys try to push you around.” He grinned, with his hands in his pockets, then started to look around.
I gave him a one cheek frown. “He’s not here today,” I said, knowing it was his next question. “He’s not always here.” My disappointment was evident. Jake and I hadn’t broached the subject of Ralph and adoption again, putting it in the stack of other unmentionables.
All the benches in the shade were taken. “Sit here,” he said. “I’ll push.” I squinted around with hesitation before sitting on the sun-warmed swing. “You think it’ll hold me?”
“I’m sure it’ll hold you.” He gave me a soft push. I sailed softly forward then back. On the second push I closed my eyes, feeling the weightless surge of movement. Pretty soon I didn’t feel Jake’s push. I was pumping my legs back and forth.
“Look,” Mya’s voice called up, “Mommy’s flying.”
I wasn’t worried about the sturdiness of the swing anymore. Mya was right, I could fly. My head flung back, legs extended, light as air without worry or fret. The smile plastered across my face was nothing short of a miracle. I swooshed across, feeling like a superhero, taking a second to open my eyes. I was unlimited and all powerful just like the blue sky, bountiful green trees, and the hint of heaven peeking through. I was more courageous than the fear calling my name. I needed to be present and accounted for and I wasn’t going to run and hide.
It wasn’t until Jake grabbed me, snatching me out of midair that I realized he and Mya had actually been calling my name.
He held me tight. “I thought you were headed straight up and out of here.”
“You were flying, Mommy,” Mya squealed. “Did you get scared?”
“Nope, I was loving every minute of it,” I said. “Okay, your turn,” I said to Jake.
“Now you know I’m not about to fit all this man into that swing.”
“Sit,” I ordered. I was just over five feet, so it was going to be a job, but I mustered every bit of strength and pulled back and gave him a running start. I moved out of the way before he came crashing into me. I jumped in front to see the biggest smile I’d seen out of him since I could remember. All white teeth surrounded by perfect tawny lips. I lifted my arms. “Go baby, go.”
He laughed. I smiled. “Who’s flying now?”
There was hope and I had to at least try one last plan of attack.
48
When Truth Knocks
After tossing and turning half the night Delma found herself gazing into the white light of the television. She had basic cable, which added up to five or so English-speaking channels with infomercials, the rest Spanish and Asian, also infomercials, selling products with the same enthusiasm.
Before long she was sleeping soundly, or so she thought until the deep and throaty voice sang out, “God’s love is divine and infinite. God’s love has no judgment or conditions. All that is required is that you accept him as the father and the Holy Ghost.”
“Say it with me, say his name. Dear God, I come before you heavenly father, humbled by your love … ready to give of myself completely. No more secrets, dear heavenly father. No more fears because with secrets and lies come the greatest fear of all, to be found out, to be discovered a fake, a fraud.
“You have watched me deal with this pain and guilt. I come to you open and honest about my past. A baby, dear Lord. An innocent child died one night nearly thirty years ago and I have blamed myself every waking day. She was born without a breath in her body.”
Delma’s eyes flew open. She sat straight up to face the television and Trevelle Doval, dressed in a glowing white robe with her arms opened wide like an angel, looked straight into the camera as it zoomed in. “I was only fourteen years old when I gave birth to a baby girl in the back of an alley. I have prayed the memory away of that cold lonely night. I held that secret for many, many years.
“My baby’s in heaven right now smiling down upon me because she knows … she knows God’s love heals all wounds. So I ask of you, each and every person watching me tonight, is there a secret weighing on your heart? Is there something you wish you could turn to your husband, your mother, or your child and say … I have a secret I want to share? You have to trust in God and know that he will protect you and guide you. Your burden is his burden if you give it over to him. You don’t have to carry it alone.”
Delma picked up the phone and dialed Keisha’s number. She didn’t pay attention to the glowing clock that said 2:00 A.M. How many times would she be led to the door of truth only to run the other way?
“Mommy,” the groggy voice on the other end answered. “What’s happening, are you all right? It’s two o’clock in the morning.”
“I was up, couldn’t sleep. I was watching that woman, Trevelle Doval.”
She paused. “Yes, Mom let me explai
n.”
Delma was taken aback. “Explain what?”
“I was hoping you’d never see that. She told me they would edit the tape.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Keisha. What tape?”
Keisha sighed with relief. “Oh, well, no … I thought you were talking about the show. I was taped with Ms. Doval when she collapsed, and I thought … how embarrassing it was to have her fall in my arms.” She paused again. “Maybe I should let you tell me why you called. Are you all right, is everything all right?”
They both let out collective breaths echoing of thank God that neither knew what the other was talking about.
“No … no … I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You wouldn’t be calling me in the middle of the night if you were fine,” Keisha said, full of compassion.
“I love you, that’s all.” Delma sniffed back the onslaught of emotion. “I’m lucky to have you as a daughter, as my best friend.”
“Mom, you’re not lucky, you’re blessed, that’s what Trevelle says. There’s no such thing as luck. We’re blessed to have each other,” Keisha said quietly, settled with the notion of loneliness as the reason for Delma’s mini-breakdown.
“Keish …” She paused, afraid she was making a big mistake. She stopped and looked at the television once more. Trevelle Doval was the spitting image of Keisha. How could both of them not see it? Maybe it wasn’t meant to be known. Wouldn’t God bless Trevelle Doval with the knowledge that she was talking to her very own daughter if she was meant to know? “Don’t end up like me, Keish. Find yourself somebody to love, to marry.”
“All I’ve ever needed was you, Mommy.”
“Go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you.” She hung up the phone and continued to watch Trevelle Doval. She set the TV on mute and simply kept staring. The world was a crazy mixed-up place, yet all things seemed to work in a systematic order. Full circle. Trevelle Doval befriending her own child some thirty years later. There was no explanation, no rhyme or reason.
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