He spread the dirty towels he kept in the backseat. “Don’t get no blood on my shit.”
It was still dark outside. Darker than every night that came before. Blackness shrouded her mind. The only way to deal with the convulsions of pain ripping through her body was to shut down and let the darkness take over.
He drove slowly, making too many turns to nowhere.
“Where’re you taking me? You have to take me to the hospital,” she panted, doing her best to breathe through the contractions. The baby was coming hard and fast and she knew something was wrong.
“Shut the hell up … you think I’m walking in there with you all tore up?”
“Then drop me off. Just drop me off, Cain. Nobody’ll see. Please, I won’t say a word.”
He didn’t answer. The slow pace had a dizzying effect. More turns like a merry-go-round. Every time she felt close to passing out the pain snapped her back into alertness.
“Then to my mama’s house, please, Cain.”
“Yo’ mamma don’t want nothing to do with you.” He cracked up with a wheezing cough at the end. He’d been sick for the last few months with a bad hacking cough. The bones of his shoulders protruded from his shirt like a wire hanger. “She shacked up with Crazy J,” he said. “They both strung out on rock. Where you been, girl? Just all out of touch.” He turned slightly to make sure she was listening. “She can suck a mean dick. Guess it runs in the family.”
What happened next was beyond her control. She reached for whatever she could grasp, searching with only her hands. The hard circular glass bottle rolled from underneath the seat. She gripped it and came up swinging. She hit him hard across the side of his head. The car swerved. “What the fuc—” He tried to fight and protect himself from the blows and lost control of the car. Even at the slowed pace the car hit the corner stop sign like a truck rolling over it, then landed into another car parked on the side of the street.
She swung again and again, the sound of thickness slamming against his skull, then the wet slap as blood coated the bottle. “Don’t you ever talk about my mama. Ever!” she screamed. She kept on screaming long after she’d stopped swinging. The contractions came like a freight train pushing through her insides. She leaned back against the seat with her legs propped up and pushed.
No one could hear her on that dark street. No one came to help a fifteen-year-old girl giving birth to her baby in the backseat of the bronze Cadillac that once felt like smooth velvet underneath her skin but at that moment bit into her backside like a bed of nails.
She pushed the baby out with her last bit of strength then passed out from sheer exhaustion. When she’d awakened, the last thing she remembered was being angry enough to kill. A miraculous moment of victory fluttered across her eyes when she saw Cain leaning forward on the steering wheel, unconscious or dead, she wasn’t sure. And then she remembered the other accomplishment.
Her baby. She wailed with shock and fright when she saw the tiny mess of a thing, rigid but warm. No movement. Not a breath. This wasn’t her baby, not the one she’d planned to love and cuddle. This wasn’t the child she’d planned to show Kellogg and say, You see, she’s yours and mine. This wasn’t her child, sickly and covered with blood.
What else was she to do?
Her legs felt like broken sticks. She could barely stand but managed to get out of the car. Blood still trailed from the gash above her forehead. They hadn’t gone far. Cain never intended to take her to the hospital and had merely circled the block. She was delirious. She saw the headlights coming toward her and hoped with all her heart it was Kellogg. But it wasn’t.
Delma wiped the moistness away from her eyes. “Poignant,” she said, holding on to her stance. “I still have no proof he’s the father.”
“I don’t care about that,” Trevelle said. “One thing we know for sure is that I’m her mother. And I will not go away,” she said. “You took my child.”
“You left her to die,” Delma said, holding her own. She felt like the wagons had circled but she wasn’t backing down. “I raised her. I’m her mother. You think the two of you can just waltz in here making claims. I spent every day of my life caring for that child, sacrificing my entire life while you, the millionaire evangelist, and you, Mr. Local Chief Justice, focused on no one but yourselves.”
“If I had known she was alive …”
“What’d you think, she got up and walked off?”
“She thought she died, Delma. Why is that so hard to understand?”
Delma didn’t know how to answer that without sounding like a mere pitiful child, but she said it anyway, “Because I don’t want to understand. What’s done is done. We all have something to lose here if this story comes out. All of us.” She glared at Trevelle. “There’s no statute of limitation on murder.” She then turned the same look of disgust on Judge Lewis. “There’s no statute of limitation on covering up a murder, either. You may have disposed of Cain’s body, but I saw him with my own eyes and the man was dead.”
Judge Lewis shook his head. “Delma, I expected better of you.”
“Sorry to disappoint. Now get out.” Her voice trembling. “Get out of my sight, both of you.”
“Well, this is a fine mess.” Delma used the tissue Hudson brought her and blew. “Can I have a do-over?” She sniffed back the tears.
“I’m proud of you.”
“You are?”
Hudson bounced his head in appreciation. “You’re seriously the no guts no glory kind of girl. But what I’m proud of most, is you having the courage to tell Keisha the truth.”
“I’m not. I can’t, Hudson. Keisha will hate me for lying to her all this time.”
He turned his back and stared out the window. “What you said about a parent making a child feel abandoned. I’ve always felt that way about my father leaving my mother, leaving me. This thing inside, of feeling lost and unloved.” Hudson turned to face her. “I’m fifty-two years old, and if my father walked in here right now and told me he loved me and he was sorry, it would mean the world to me. Wouldn’t even matter how much time passed.”
Delma was quick on her feet, this time it was her handing him the tissue. “It’s in all of us. No amount of healing ever makes it go away. We simply have to put it in its place.”
“You’re going to do the right thing.” Hudson patted her hand. “For Keisha … no matter what kind of disappointment she feels, she’ll be better for it.”
Delma rested her head on Hudson’s back, where she’d hugged him from behind. “I love you, Hudson.”
He twisted around. “Okay, you wanna say that to my face?”
57
Venus
The sun rose and cast a silvery glint off the bedroom walls. Waking up had never felt sweeter. I’d slept for what seemed like the first time in months. Jake must’ve felt it, too. He lay still, sleeping by my side. I rolled over and kissed him on his cheek and his eyes fluttered but stayed closed. I got out of bed and tiptoed to Mya’s room. I went to her bedside where she slept. I stood over her and then kneeled to give her a kiss. She turned to face me, only it wasn’t Mya, it was Airic. “Good morning, Mommy,” he said, wearing a wild mangy wig and a bow.
I screamed and fell backward, caught in Jake’s arms.
“Babe, wake up.” Jake was shaking me. He looked panicked. “You were struggling like you were drowning.”
I blinked in confusion and looked around the room. “Mya,” I said, jumping out of bed and rushing down the hall. I approached the door and opened it slowly, my heart thudding through my chest. Her back was facing me and I crept one step at a time, trying to ignore the feeling of déjà vu. I leaned over her and saw her angelic face. She smelled of vanilla and little girl sweetness. I kissed her softly and pressed my face against hers.
“Everything all right?” Jake whispered behind me.
I nodded and put my finger to his lips. I waved for him to follow me out. I took his hand and led him to our bedroom. He wasn’t quite awake so my dream
was at least partly correct. One of us had gotten some solid sleep. I sat on the edge of the bed. He joined me, and we sat side by side. I ran a hand from his head to his cheek down the front of his bare chest. I kissed him lightly. “I can’t live with it, Jake. I can’t live with a lie.”
“You think I had something to do with that DNA test.” It wasn’t a question. He was stating the simple truth. Frustration clouded his face. “When are you going to trust me again, if ever?”
“Back when I asked you what happened to Byron Steeple … you wouldn’t tell me. All you did was put me off by saying I didn’t want to know. By the time you gave me the truth, I’d already formed my own opinion.”
“I was too ashamed to tell you … you don’t know what I saw, what I witnessed.”
“I understand, I do. This time, I don’t want to guess or worry myself to death because I don’t have the answer. Was it Georgina? Did she pay someone?”
He shook his head, and cut his eyes away from me. His dark lashes closed and rested. He leaned back and stretched his muscular arms over his head. “What difference will it make? Trying to change the information on paper will never change the truth. You know it and I know it.” He pulled me toward him.
How tempting it was to fall into the strength of his arms and be done with the conversation. But I knew the only way I’d stop seeing Airic in my nightmares was to address the issue head-on. “Tell me the truth.”
“I had nothing to do with it,” he said. “That’s all the truth I know.”
I rose up. He thought I was walking away, doing my usual run-away-angry thing. Instead I stood up and climbed on top of him, straddling him with my knees positioned over his arms. I leaned over and kissed him, tongue, lips, and all. “Guess I’ll just have to beat it out of you,” I said, tasting his smooth chin.
“My answer will still be the same,” he said. “But I sure would like you to try.” He held me tight until I couldn’t move a muscle. “Listen to me, babe. Listen.”
I realized at that moment I had no choice. He had my undivided attention.
“All I’ve ever wanted was for you to trust me again. To have a little faith in me. I know you lost the baby because you didn’t know what to believe. You weren’t sure who you were married to and it was eating you up inside. Trust me when I tell you, I’d never hurt you like that again. I had nothing to do with the test results. If Georgina made it happen, she didn’t let me in on the fun, and that’s all I have to say. You understand?”
I nodded my head up and down.
“But I wouldn’t mind getting started on making some new DNA, mixing a little of yours and mine,” he said, sliding his hands down my back. He pressed his mouth against my collarbone and trailed to my shoulder. My head spun with delight and relief. I understood what love meant between a husband and a wife, the act of coming to the rescue, again and again. It was the tiny promises that tomorrow will be all right and the reassurance that no matter what, we had each other. We’d made it through another storm. It was time to pull the boards off the doors and windows and let the sunshine in. We made love in the big Georgia mansion for the second time, and, yes, I was counting.
I had faith, something I couldn’t ever remember having a whole lot of before. I had a fresh outlook, one that included picking up Ralph twice a week and taking him to the park myself. Maybe I couldn’t adopt him just yet, but when it was time, he was going to know exactly who to call Mommy. It took a few days but I finally called Airic. I told him he could see Mya whenever he liked. If he wanted to try again to sue for custody, that would be his choice, his fight, not mine. I knew my heart and mind were in the right place. If I’d learned anything at all over the last few months, you had to believe you deserved some peace and joy to get it, and I was definitely ready for mine.
58
To Err Is Human
“Mommy,” Keisha called out, searching the house in a panic.
Delma sat on the edge of her bed still wearing nightclothes, though the sun had rose and set again. She stayed quiet, staring down at the box in her hands. She’d come to this point in her life by a full bursting circle of flames. It was time.
“There you are. You had me worried to death not answering the phone. Hudson said you were taking a much-needed day off.” Keisha sat beside Delma and kissed her on the cheek. “I knew something was wrong. Since when do you take a day off voluntarily?”
Delma faced her daughter. “I have something to give you. But first I have to tell you about your mother, the one who brought you into this world.”
Keisha looked relieved and sorrowful at the same time. “You’ll always be first in my life, Mommy.”
Delma hugged her fiercely and kissed her daughter’s cheek. “You’ll always be first in mine.”
Jake and Venus have an obvious resentment toward each other in the beginning. She fears her time at the new mansion is only temporary. Does this feeling seem to dissipate throughout the story or get stronger? Do you think their marriage will survive?
After three long years of absence, Airic suddenly makes an appearance and wants to be front and center in Mya’s life. Is Venus justified in denying Airic visitation? Was it for Mya’s good or mere spite?
Does there come a time when Venus should’ve accepted Airic in Mya’s life? Is parenting about deserving the right or should all biological parents have rights regardless of whether they are present or not? What would you have done in the same situation?
Venus senses danger in Trevelle for taking more interest in Mya than normal. Is it obvious there are ulterior motives or is Trevelle just a doting stepmother with good intentions?
Judge Delma Hawkins can’t hide her distress because she is in the same room with Trevelle. At this point have you any idea what the relationship could be between them? What’s your first guess?
Delma makes it a point to admonish battling parents saying, “When it comes to a child, there’s no such thing as a good fight.” Yet she’s prepared to battle Trevelle for her own daughter by any means necessary. Is Delma’s protection of her own daughter about spite or what’s best for the child?
Does Delma ever realize she’s acting no better than the petitioners that come into her courtroom? Will her journey make her a more compassionate judge?
Trevelle and Airic seem to have love for one another, but do they think bringing Mya into their lives will make them a stronger couple? What is Trevelle’s real motivation?
After experiencing Trevelle’s tumultuous childhood, do you have more compassion for her actions? Is she justified in her scheming and manipulation?
Jake’s involvement is limited to supporting Venus emotionally. Does this make him appear weak? Should he have taken matters into his own hands or does it prove his maturity and growth as a better man?
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