by Susan Stoker
These men would never be romantic in the fairy-tale sense. Ghost would never shower her with presents and sweet words. Oh, he could be sweet, but it was more in a rough, tough sort of way. Ghost was protective of her and would rather cause himself pain than her.
So with all that rattling around in her brain, his words and actions made a sick sort of sense. She didn’t like it, and she’d be telling him later that he needed to take more care with her, but deep inside, she knew he was protecting her.
He hadn’t called her because he didn’t want her to see him like he was. Hurt and wounded. Their relationship was still new, and Rayne figured he didn’t want her to worry about him. He was protecting himself as much as he was her. At least she hoped that was it.
While it pissed her off, she got it. When she’d been in the hospital, there were times she’d wanted to shove Ghost out. She wasn’t at her best, felt like shit, and she hadn’t wanted him to see her that way. It had to be twenty times worse for a man like Ghost. Feeling helpless and defenseless wasn’t in his psyche.
So…she’d wait him out. She’d hang out here with the guys and Penelope, and wait until Ghost was discharged. Then she’d make him see that he was being an idiot. If he thought she was going to go away just because he’d ordered it, he obviously didn’t know her very well.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Late that night, Rayne snuck down the hall to Ghost’s room. The nurses at the desk ignored her horrible attempt at being stealthy, either because they felt sorry for her, or because one of Ghost’s teammates had sweet-talked them into letting her by. She didn’t care one way or the other, as long as she got a chance to see Ghost.
His burns were coming along nicely, and he’d be going home the next day. Fletch had driven her over to Ghost’s house earlier and let her take a shower and put her stuff there. She’d told Fletch to come back in two hours and she’d cleaned up as much as she could before he came back.
The house was pretty much exactly how she’d left it a couple of weeks ago, but Ghost’s duffle bag had been sitting in the breezeway. She’d unpacked for him and started a load of laundry. She changed the sheets, so they were fresh and clean, and scoped out the grocery situation, reminding herself to ask Fletch to stop at the store before he brought her back.
Rayne pushed open the door to room 227 and peeked in. Ghost was in much the same position as he’d been when she’d seen him that morning. Sitting up in bed with his injured arm resting on a pillow in his lap. His eyes were closed and his breaths were slow and even.
Not wanting him to wake up and rip her a new one, Rayne tiptoed to the chair at the foot of the bed. She picked it up carefully, so it didn’t make a sound, and gently placed it next to Ghost’s mattress on his uninjured side. She pulled the chair as close as she could to the bed and sat quietly.
She watched Ghost sleep for a while, memorizing his face all over again. She’d missed him so much and just being by his side made the butterflies inside her gut settle for the first time since he’d left.
His rhythmic breathing put Rayne into a sort of trance and she swayed in her seat. Carefully, trying not to jostle the mattress or the covers—or more importantly, his injured arm—Rayne rested her head on the mattress beside Ghost’s hip. She’d just close her eyes for a second. She’d been up for way longer than she was used to and had experienced several adrenaline highs and lows throughout the course of the day. She was exhausted.
Ghost knew the second Rayne fell off into sleep. He opened his eyes fully and looked down at the woman he loved. He’d clocked her the second she’d entered his room. Not only could he smell her delicious shampoo, but she wasn’t nearly as stealthy as she thought she was. Besides, he was Delta. It was highly unlikely anyone could sneak up on him, wounded or not.
Rayne looked exhausted. She had dark circles under her eyes and her face was paler than Ghost remembered it being. He raised his hand to push her hair out of her face and froze. He put his hand back at his side and sighed. She shouldn’t be there. She’d told him already, but Coach had reminded him that it’d been Tex who had called both her and Penelope to let them know he was back and in the hospital. Damn the man.
There was no one Ghost wanted to see more than Rayne, but it wasn’t fair to her. He didn’t want to worry her, and getting wounded on the first mission after they’d gotten together wasn’t the way to keep her from worrying. His plan had been to wait until his wounds had healed then brush them off as nothing serious when he saw her again. He’d tried to tell himself it wasn’t a lie, but looking at Rayne now, he knew he’d fucked up again. He’d promised not to lie to her ever again, and he’d gone and done it; granted it was by omission, but a lie was a lie. The first time he’d been tested.
He’d been an asshole that morning. But the shock of seeing Rayne standing in his room when he hadn’t been prepared for it, looking more beautiful than he’d remembered, was too much. He didn’t want her seeing him wounded and hurt. He wanted to be whole for her. To be her rock, the indestructible man who’d always be able to protect her.
“She was something to see this morning.”
Ghost looked up from Rayne’s sleeping face to see Fletch standing in the doorway. His words were soft, barely audible to the normal person, but Ghost heard him just fine.
Ghost looked back down at Rayne. Not able to resist, he took a lock of her hair and rubbed it between his fingers, loving how soft it was.
“I’d thought you’d broken her. You were such an asshole. I was ready to defend you, to comfort her, to let her cry on my shoulder, but damn if she didn’t march down to the waiting area and plunk herself on a chair and decide she wasn’t moving. She’s got your number, Ghost. She’s your perfect match.”
Ghost stubbornly kept his mouth shut.
Fletch continued as if he was having a real conversation with his team leader instead of a one-sided one. “I took her to your house today as well, at her demand, of course. She took a much-needed shower, since she’d jumped out of bed when Tex called her early this morning without any thought to herself. She washed your shit, and made a grocery list for later. Full of healthy crap like chicken noodle soup and orange juice. I even saw she put condoms on it.”
Ghost looked up at that and saw his friend’s lip curl in derision. “Yeah, fucker. You treated her like dog shit and she’s still got your best interests at heart and wants to be with you. I know you didn’t want her to see you in the hospital, but she has. Get over your snit and apologize. After talking with Mary, it sounds as though she’s got more crap she’s trying to deal with in her life than just you. Pull your head out of your ass and talk to your woman. Help her, Ghost. Her job is weighing on her and she’s struggling with it. You trying to push her away isn’t helping. Stop being a dick and take care of what’s important. She’s right there in front of you.”
Not giving him a chance to defend himself—not that Ghost would’ve, every word out of his friend’s mouth was the God’s honest truth—Fletch turned and left the room.
Ghost looked back down at Rayne. She was hunched over his bed, her hands in her lap, sleeping the sleep of the exhausted. She could’ve gone to a hotel, or his house. She should’ve fled that morning after he’d been so horrible to her. Honestly, it was what he’d expected she’d do. But here she was. Sleeping at his side. For some reason she wanted to be with him, even if she thought it was when he didn’t know.
He was proud as all get out that she hadn’t run off in tears, but he’d hurt her, and that gutted him. He’d only wanted to protect her from this side of his job. But she wasn’t an idiot. She’d been in the middle of one of his missions. She knew, better than most anyone, what he did and the risks he took.
He groaned softly under his breath. He’d fucked up. Big. He had a lot of making up to do to his woman. He hoped she’d let him, but the fact that she was here, next to him now, made him think he had a chance.
Ghost lay his head back against his pillows and tried to block out the throbbing of his ar
m. Third-degree burns hurt like hell. Refusing to push the button that would allow the mind-numbing drugs into his system through his IV to ease the pain, he closed his eyes. Rubbing Rayne’s hair through the fingers of his uninjured hand soothed him. She was here. His Princess was here.
The next time Ghost opened his eyes, it was to look over and see Mary’s brown eyes glaring at him. He looked around, hoping to see someone else, anyone else, but it was only him and Mary. She didn’t give him even a moment to get his bearings.
“She called me at two-thirty in the morning frantic to get down here to you. She was going to drive herself…and probably get herself or someone else killed with the state she was in. She’s supposed to be at the airport right this second getting ready to fly…you know…her job? But instead, she’s running around trying to make sure you have what you need when you get home, and she doesn’t even know if you’ll be nice to her when you get there or not. She’s been badgering the doctors and nurses, telling them to get in here and give you pain meds so you won’t hurt anymore, and I know she’s got a grocery list a mile long for later this morning, when she makes one of the guys take her so she can fill up your pantry. If you think for one second your assholeness scared her away, you’re wrong.”
Mary took a deep breath and leaned toward Ghost, not taking her eyes off him. “She loves you, you big jerk. I have no idea why, right this moment, but she does. This is still new between you guys, and I have to tell you, I’m inclined to warn her off of you every chance I get. She might worship the ground you walk on, and you might have your team eating out of your hand, but you have a long way to go to convince me you’re right for her.”
“You’re right.”
“And if you think I’m going to let you mentally abuse her and…” Mary’s words trailed off as Ghost’s words sank in. “What?”
“I said, you’re right. I was an asshole. I was going to wait until I was out of the hospital and better to call her. Actually, I was going to go up to Fort Worth and surprise her with the fact I was home.”
“That might have worked with other women, but it will never work with Rayne,” Mary informed him. “She’d know you were injured and she’d worry. She’d think you were hiding something from her and she’d probably end up pushing you away, thinking you were trying to get rid of her.”
At the confused look on Ghost’s face, Mary laughed, but not in a ha-ha kind of way. “Yeah, it’s messed up. But Rayne has been in love with you for seven months. She’d never admit it, but she’s loved you since London. She has a tendency to do more for others than she’ll let them do for her.”
“That’s gonna change.”
“See? You say the words, but your actions don’t match.”
“Go find me a doctor, Mary. I’m getting the fuck out of here.”
Mary stood up and she and Ghost locked eyes for a moment before Mary nodded. “I said it once, but it bears repeating. The jury’s still out as far as I’m concerned. Treat my friend right and you’ll have no issues with me. But if I get one hint that you’re belittling her, making her feel guilty about something, or just plain making her sad, I’ll haul her ass away from you so quickly you won’t know what’s going on.”
“You’ll have no worries about me from here on out. You have my word as a man, and as Delta.”
Mary nodded again and went to find a doctor.
Chapter Thirty-Five
“Fletch? Is that you? I’ll be right there!” Rayne called as she quickly tried to put away the last of the cans in the cupboard. “Did you hear anything? Will Ghost be coming home today?”
When Fletch didn’t answer, Rayne twirled around to call out again, anxious to know if Ghost would get released from the hospital. She knew he was probably going stir-crazy. She still had to decide if she was going to be at his house when he got home or not. She wasn’t going anywhere until she’d had it out with him, but if he was in pain and needed a day or two, she’d gladly give it before they had their confrontation.
She stopped in her tracks when she didn’t see Fletch, but Ghost himself standing on the other side of the counter.
“Oh, Ghost. Did you get out?”
Ghost smirked at her question, as it was obvious he’d been released since he was standing right in front of her. “Yeah, Princess. I didn’t exactly have to have the guys enact a covert recon to get the doctors to release me from the hospital.”
A blush moved up her face.
“Good, yeah, that’s good. I, uh, got you some stuff, so you’re good to go. You didn’t have much to eat. I cleaned everything out before I left the other day. Your laundry is all clean and put away. You have, uh—”
Rayne’s words cut off abruptly as Ghost stalked toward her. She took a step back for Ghost’s every step forward until her ass hit the counter and her backward momentum was stopped.
Rayne wasn’t exactly afraid of Ghost. Even though he was bigger than she was, and she knew without a doubt he could hurt her, she also knew he’d never put his hands on her. It was his words that made her nervous at the moment. He could slay her with them, and she wasn’t ready for them yet. She’d been building herself up to tell him off for making her feel like shit, but now that her chance was here, she was totally chickening out.
Ghost saw the fear in her eyes and hated that he’d put it there. “Princess. God. I’d never hurt you.”
“Yeah, I know that.” She said the words but wouldn’t quite meet his eyes.
“When I woke up yesterday I was in pain, and was already second guessing my decision not to let you know I was back. It seemed like the right thing to do when we were flying home. But the second the words were out of my mouth, the second I saw your reaction, it was as if I might as well have reached out and punched you in the face.”
“Ghost, I—”
“I was frustrated, hurting, and sick inside that I couldn’t jump up and follow you.”
Rayne stayed silent, listening. Ghost continued baring his soul.
“I love you, Rayne. And those aren’t just words for me. I’ve never said them to any other woman in my life. I told you when we were in London that I suck at relationships. And I think right now, you’d have to agree. But never, and I mean never, no matter what shit I might spew or what I might do, think that I don’t love you.”
“They didn’t mess up your tattoo, did they?”
The words were so not what Ghost was expecting, it took him a moment to wrap his brain around them. “No. The graft was taken from my inner thigh. I threatened every doctor and nurse who came near me that if they touched one millimeter of my ink, their lives were in danger.”
Rayne turned her head as if contemplating what he said. “You need to get off your feet then.”
“Rayne…”
She shook her head. “Go. You can sit on the couch if you want, but that leg has to hurt. I know you had some third-degree burns and Lord knows why the doctors let you out already, probably because you’re annoying and pigheaded. But if you were this determined to get out of the hospital, you’re going to have to deal with me. So go sit.”
Ghost did as Rayne asked and backed away, not losing eye contact until she turned to the cabinet to reach for something. He sat in the middle of the couch and watched as she puttered around his kitchen.
“Are you hungry?” she called out.
“No.”
“Thirsty?”
“No.”
“Well, there are some sandwiches in the fridge for later if you need something. You don’t want to overdo it and mess up that arm any more than it already is.”
Ghost so wanted to stalk over to Rayne and pick her up and carry her to his bed—to their bed—and throw her down and shut her up the best way he knew how, but he wasn’t sure what was going on in her head. And he had to know that before he did anything else that might damage their relationship.
At last, she’d finished with whatever it was she was doing in his kitchen and sat on the sofa next to him. Not touching, but at least she hadn
’t chosen the chair on the other side of the room.
“Don’t do that again.”
Ghost wasn’t sure which “that” she was talking about, but he agreed immediately. “I won’t.”
Rayne was smarter than anyone he knew. She immediately called him on it. “What won’t you do?”
“Any of it. Swear at you. Scowl at you when I’m really just pissed at myself. Not tell you the second I’m back in the States. Not greet you with a kiss when I see you again.”
“What about hurting me?”
Ghost sighed. “Unfortunately, Princess, I can’t promise that. I’m a dick. You know this. I’ll most likely say and do stuff in the future that will hurt you. But I can promise not to do it on purpose. If you’ll call me out when I do it, I’ll do my best to curb it.”
She didn’t say anything for a bit, then finally said in a quiet voice, “My first thought when you and Wolf burst into that room in Egypt and I realized it was you—not just any soldier, but you—was to tell you to get out. As much as I wanted to be rescued, I was embarrassed that I was so vulnerable. I wanted you to remember me as you last saw me…on my knees in front of you, enthusiastically taking everything you had to give me.”
Her words made Ghost’s cock stir, but he sat quietly next to her, letting her get out whatever it was she needed to say.
“But instead you had to see me tied down and helpless…and half naked. I was humiliated and embarrassed, and I’d dreamed that when you saw me again, it’d be when I felt sexy and beautiful. So when you told me to get the fuck out of your room and you stared at me with nothing but ice in your eyes, I swear to God I saw the same thing in you that I felt in Egypt.”