by Tanya Huff
:I was tired of waiting for you. Most of those who are to be Chosen find their way to Haven.:
:If I’d known you were out there, I’d have met you halfway.:
“Jors?”
He smiled down at her. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
As they came out of the trees and into the clearing in front of the palisade, Jors found himself studying the area with a professional eye. The settlement's grant allowed a certain area cleared for living space, and it looked as though his uncle had recently expanded out as far as he was legally allowed. The edges still looked rough and raw, and he thought he saw two new buildings within the walls.
His mother's geese saw them first. Heads low, necks extended, the current flock charged out through the open gate, hissing, wings beating at the air. When Gervis lowered his own head and pawed the ground, they wheeled neatly to the left, circling the willow fencing around the vegetable garden as though that had been their destination all along. A familiar voice shouted from the garden, and as Jors and Annamarin drew even with the opening, their grandmother emerged, threw her cane at the geese, spotted Gervis, and rocked to a stop.
“As I live and breathe! The boy is back!” Less considerate of his Whites than Annamarin, she stumped forward and dragged him up against her generous bosom, leaving a smear of rich black earth across his tunic and down one leg. Given the amount of dirt on her hands, he didn't want to think about the places she'd gripped him.
It was the same possessively affectionate hug he'd always had from her, and it made him feel seven, ten, fourteen...
“You've filled out,” she clucked as she pushed him back out to arm's length and looked him up and down. “Well, you couldn't have stayed all arms and legs forever, I suppose, could you? Never mind,” she cut him off as he opened his mouth. “How long can you stay?”
“Seven days, unless I'm needed.”
“Needed.” Gran rolled her eyes. “I think they can manage without you for so short a time. Annamarin, get my cane would you, sweetheart. Had her head turned by a minstrel,” she added as the girl cautiously approached the geese. Either his grandmother had gotten a little deaf or she didn't care if she were overheard. Jors leaned toward the latter. “Fool woman put foolish ideas into the girl's head. I want you to tell her that it's one thing to have a Companion suddenly appear and declare you special...” She nodded to Gervis, who nodded back. “...and another thing entirely to declare it yourself. Now, come on.” Hand tucked in the crook of his elbow, she tugged him toward the gate. “It’s bread day. Your mother can’t leave the kneading.”
His mother dusted him with flour and clucked at the length of his hair then spun him around in time to have his brother’s wife Tora catch him up in a hug redolent with the scent of the first wild strawberries.
“Oh, stop making such a fuss over him,” Gran snorted. “He's just come home; he hasn't saved the country single-handed.”
Seven, ten, fourteen...
When he tried to step away, he discovered he had a toddler wrapped around each leg. They held him in place long enough for Annamarin's mother to appear, and while she was exclaiming over his appearance, Jors’ cousin Tomlin, Uncle Trey's youngest...
“Took an axe to the thigh last fall, poor thing.”
...limped into the summer kitchen followed by the rest of the settlement's children, four dogs, and a goat.
He only managed to free himself from their welcome by reminding them he had a Companion to tend to.
*
Jors set the saddle aside and let his forehead fall to thump against Gervis' withers.
:They're glad to see you.:
:I know. And I'm glad to see them.:
:But?:
:But I'm Jors with a Companion.:
:You are my Chosen.: Gervis' mental voice was matter-of-fact. :Why do you need to be anyone else?:
:I don't... That isn't...: He turned to rest his cheek against the warmth and ran a hand up under Gervis' mane. :Am I a terrible person?:
:No. You are a Herald. You can not be a Herald and a terrible person. Therefore you are not a terrible person.: Responding to a non-verbal prompt, Jors scratched along the arc of his neck. :It is not terrible for you to want your family to see you as you are, not as you were.:
“See, lo, where yonder Herald stands!”
Jors turned to see Annamarin just inside the lean-to, barely visible over an armload of hay.
“I know it’s tragic,” she said, “but this is the best of what's left. There's not a lot of grazing yet, but Mika's been taking the goats to the south clearing if the Wondrous One doesn't mind sharing.”
“His name is Gervis. Have you forgotten?”
“He's too beautiful for a name.” She spread her arms, the hay dropping into the manger. “He is a song walking above the mud we less lovely creatures tread upon.”
:Have I mentioned that I like her?:
:You have.: Jors pulled his brushes from the saddlebag. “Trust me, he walks in plenty of mud.”
“Can I help?”
“You could play something for me.”
“I only know three real songs.” But she perched on the edge of the manger and pulled out her pipes. “Mostly, I just twiddle, you know, make stuff up.”
Jors draped his jacket beside her then bent to brush the dirt from Gervis’ rear leg. “So, make stuff up.”
He didn't know what he'd expected, but her twiddles were just that; random notes strung together. Not unpleasant, but not exactly music either.
:You know what you expected.: One hoof up on Jors' knee, Gervis rested his weight against Jors' shoulder. Jors grunted and pushed back.
“Annamarin!”
The twiddling stopped. Jors dropped the hoof and straightened. Their grandmother looked between the two of them and snorted. “That woodbox won't fill itself, child. And no one will be pleased if the bread is baked only half through. Don't look to him!”
“He's a Herald!” Annamarin declared as she jumped down.
“Am I blind now? Woodbox!”
“If this labour ruins my hands and I can tragically no longer play, you'll weep with sorrow at the loss!”
“If that woodbox doesn't get filled, you'll be sorrier. And you,” Gran added as Annamarin ran off. “Did you think I wanted you to encourage such nonsense? I will smack that minstrel if she returns. Filling the child's head with clouds. You need to tell her what comes of running off, away from one's family in search of adventure.”
“Gran, I...”
“You didn't run off, did you? You rode. It'd be different for that one, wouldn't it? There'd be no pretty white clothes and a sense of self-importance for her. She needs to know what's out there, doesn't she? And she needs to know what's here. Safety, security, no one goes to bed hungry – your grandfather and I created this from nothing, I'll thank you to remember. You missed a spot, there on the left leg above the hock.” Shaking her head, she met Gervis' eyes. “I'm sure he does his best. He never was much for chores, either, always off in the woods with a bow. Still, I’m pleased to see you don’t look like he’s been neglecting you. He missed another spot there…”
*
His Uncle Trey, his father, and his older cousins came home at twilight. They'd spent the day marking trees to be cut when the ground dried; those that had been winter killed and those topped off in spring storms. Jors was astounded to see that Uncle Trey, a mountain of a man with more energy than any three combined, was now almost entirely grey and his broad shoulders had begun to stoop.
“We'll put you to work tomorrow, lad!” Cheeks flushed, his uncle clapped him one shoulder, looked a little surprised when Jors didn't so much as sway, and added, “I'm sure you've forgotten what hard work's like.”
*
Breakfast the next morning was porridge and berries – the berries offered slightly squashed from his nephew's fingers. The boy shrieked with laughter as Jors pretended to eat the fingers, too. When his mother ruffled his hair as she bustled past the long table, he real
ized too late he was becoming the Jors that was. The Jors they all still believed him to be.
“You'll work with your father and I,” Uncle Trey declared on the way out of the common dining hall.
Jors paused, half into a borrowed jacket. “With both of you?”
“Is that a problem?” Gran demanded.
“I imagine you've forgotten most of your forest craft,” his uncle said.
The day would be a test then.
Jors didn't tell them he'd tracked harder quarry over the last few years than pheasant and deer – mostly because he couldn't figure out a way to do it that wouldn't sound like bragging. And while he'd done plenty of hard work as a Herald, he'd forgotten how hard this work was, so, as the day went on he kept his mouth shut.
“Let it go, Trey,” his father laughed at last. “My boy's still the best tracker in the family, for all he spends most of his time with his ass in a saddle.”
“Wasted skills,” Uncle Trey sighed.
When they stopped at midday, they’d nearly reached the western edge of the grant. Sitting together on a rock shelf, they divided up the food they'd been carrying, and when they were settled, Jors’ uncle smacked his arm with the side of his fist and nodded toward a stand of beech, four good-sized trees that had all been topped off. “What do you think, lad?”
“No point saving them,” Jors noted, accepting a biscuit. “Best to take them down and open a hole for new growth. It's beech. The mill will take them for short boards if you stack them now and come back when the ground is dry enough for the sled and the oxen. And there's enough limb wood there to keep the ovens going.”
“Well done,” his father crowed. “Couldn’t expect a better answer than that, Trey.”
The other man snorted, straightened, and stared into the distance. “Pity we can't see if you've remembered how to shoot,” he said. “Look at the size of that stag.”
Jors stood up on the rock to give himself a better angle. Frowned. The distant silhouette was off slightly. “I don't think that's a stag. I think it's a Dyheli.”
“Don't be daft. We're too far north. Puts on a pair of white trousers and suddenly everything's got to be all mystical. You need to keep your head in the real world. Off you go and track it then.”
Jors raised a hand as the Dyheli disappeared into the trees and turned to see both men watching him expectantly. “No,” he said.
Uncle Trey began a protest, but stopped when Jors met his gaze.
His father suddenly directed all his attention to the packs.
“Well...” His uncle sounded as uncertain as Jors had ever heard him. “...we'd best be starting back then...”
*
Hands wrapped around his empty mug, Jors watched his brother and his sister-in-law carry the sleeping twins out of the large family room in the settlement's first building, his brother more than willing to leave their conversation when Tora beckoned him home.
“Why are you sad?”
He made room for Annamarin on the bench. “I'm not sad.”
“You don't look sad,” she said, frowning up at him, “but under how you look, you're sad.” Head cocked, she studied his face. “Is it a tragic love story?”
A dying bandit girl and the knowledge that he was hers and always would be. He started to say it was more complicated than that. Started to say their time had been too short for a story. Watched the door close behind his brother and his brother's family and said only, “Yes.”
Annamarin nodded with all the wisdom of nearly twelve. “I thought so.” Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a honey candy, picked off a bit of lint, and held it out to him. “My mama makes these. When I had my heart tragically broken by Vernin at the mill, they helped.”
“Thank you.”
She dropped it in his hand, although it stuck for a moment to her fingers, and ran to join the children being herded off to bed.
The candy melted on his tongue, so sweet it nearly made his eyes water. If it didn't help, it didn't hurt.
Although, he realized, other parts of him did. Jors grunted as he stood, stretched out his back and tried to work the knots from his right arm. Hard to believe he'd only been walking and using a hatchet. He hadn't hurt like this since he'd first learned to ride.
“Used muscles you haven't for a while, lad!” Uncle Trey laughed. “Not so easy keeping up with an old man is it?”
“Leave him be, Trey, there's a trick to walking on uneven ground,” Jors’ father called out. “I expect he's lost the knack of it.”
“He needs to come home more often,” one of his cousins called.
“A few more days of honest labour, and he'll be his old self again,” laughed another.
:Chosen, there's someone coming.:
A moment later, the geese sounded the alarm.
*
“He went out yesterday looking for that damned ewe he's so fond of. She'd slipped the dogs, late afternoon, and had headed for the hills with her lambs.” One of Verain’s men sagged against the hands that held him as his horse, sides wet with sweat, stumbled and nearly went to her knees just inside the gate. “When the sun went down, he didn't come in. Nearly had to tie Elane to the chair to keep her from heading out to find him. But he's smart, Rodney is, and he'd have found a safe place for the night, yeah, and then he'd be back by day we told her, back with that damned ewe.”
“But he wasn't.” Jors stepped aside as Annamarin’s father pushed past, heading for the horse.
“No. We looked Herald, but we couldn't find him, not even a body or sign of a struggle or the damned sheep, and Elane sent me to find you, and I damned near killed the mare, but Elane...” He closed his eyes for a heartbeat, and when he opened them again they shone with reflected pain, obvious even in the light of half a dozen flickering lamps. “She's taking it terrible hard.”
Jors closed his hand around the man’s shoulder, felt the fine tremble of exhaustion through shirt and jacket, felt the tension relax as he squeezed. Pivoting on one heel, he headed for the Herald’s Corner, not needing a lamp to find the way to where Gervis waited.
“Jors!”
Habit stopped his feet at the sound of his grandmother’s voice.
“Where are you going, then?” She stood in the door they'd left open when they'd rushed outside, her hair, unplaited for the night, spilling around her shoulders.
“I'm going where I’m needed. To find Rodney.”
Heads pivoted as the men and women in the courtyard turned their attention back to the old woman.
“I understand you want to help, Jors, but it's forest trail all the way. Wait till day and go then if you must. There's men already searching for young Rodney who know the ground. What can you bring to the search that they can't?”
“Hope.” Bare feet sticking out from under her nightshirt, Annamarin moved to Jors' side and swept a steady gaze over her family. “When a Herald of Valdemar rides, hope rides with him. Yes, they have men who know the ground, but with one of theirs lost in the forest for going on two nights now, what they need is hope.” She paused, then, just before the silence stretched to the breaking point, she spread her hands and added, “And they need the best tracker this family has ever had.”
A further heartbeat's silence, then a cheer.
Jors bent and kissed the top of her head. :Heartbrother...:
:I am well rested. We can be there before dawn.:
*
“Oh, it's so horribly tragic that one of the lambs died!”
Jors sighed. “I tell you a story of a gallant ride through the night, beset on all sides by terrible dangers, finishing, with the sun barely up, in the kind of tracking that one person in thousands could do in order to save a man's life, and you're upset about a lamb?”
“It died.” Annamarin released her grip on his sleeve to fold her arms. “And it was tragic.”
Rodney had been returned to Elane from the bottom of a crevasse with a broken leg, the ewe and her remaining lamb had been returned to the flock, and Jors ha
d returned to Trey Haden's settlement.
Annamarin had met him on the track.
:It seems that you want your family to behave in ways you do not wish to behave yourself.:
:I don’t know what you…:
Gervis gave a little buck. :The girl has Talent. Speak to your grandmother on her behalf.:
*
“A Bard?” Their grandmother swept a narrowed-eyed gaze from Jors to Annamarin and back. “Are you certain?”
“A certain as I can be, not being a Bard myself.” Jors watched her expression change, her hand begin to rise, and knew she had just asked herself, What would Jors know about Bards? “Gervis,” he added quickly, “is certain.”
“Well...” She nodded slowly. “...that's different then, isn't it?” Reaching out, she took Annamarin's hand and tugged her close. “Are you sure you want to be a Bard, child?”
Annamarin rolled her eyes. “It's not something you do, Gran, it's something you are.”
The old woman snorted. “It's not something I am.”
“Well, no,” Annamarin admitted. “But it's like what Jors is.”
“Please, child, he was Chosen. That has nothing to do with what he is, and everything to do with his Companion.”
“With his Companion finding him worthy.”
“What?”
Sighing, Annamarin tugged her hand free so she could gesture expansively. “There isn't a Jors before and a Jors after, Gran. There's just Jors. And Jors is a Herald.”
:From the mouths of babes.:
“My point exactly.” Gran grinned triumphantly and whacked Jors on the shins with her cane.
When Annamarin frowned, Jors shook his head.
*
“Try again when you're older,” he told her later when they were walking away from the settlement, down the track toward Greenhaven.
“It's tragic she doesn't understand!”
“It's a little annoying,” he admitted. “But, in the end, I know who I am.”
:You know who you are outside the palisades.: Jors jumped as Gervis’ tail slapped against the back of his legs. :And staying away solves nothing,: the Companion added.