Creed's Expectations

by Hollyfield, J. D.

  “I don’t believe you,” I spit back.

  “Then tell me what I have to do to make you.”

  “There’s nothing you can do!” I raise my voice, wanting to raise my fists as well. “You ruined this. You ruined us!” I yell. He comes at me. I fight him off as he wraps his arms around me. My fists hit his chest over and over; the rage, the sorrow, the sadness exploding out of me. “You did this. And I hate you for it. I hate you!”

  “And I hate myself.” He holds me tighter. I want to bask in the warmth of his touch. The scent of him that entrances me. But I can’t. I push away from him.

  “Get out.”

  “No.”

  How dare he. “I said, get out. We are done, Creed.”

  He takes a step closer, but my threatening eyes stop him. “We’re not done.”

  “We are done. Get—”

  “We’re not done, GODDAMMIT! We’re not even close to being done. We can’t be. I love you. I fucking love you down to my goddamn soul. I refuse to ever be done.” He’s heaving. His hands are balled into fists and it’s apparent he’s shaking.

  I just stand there, silent, assessing him. His eyes are wild with fear. He’s not the put-together man I’m used to seeing. He looks frantic. Scared. Almost broken. “Please listen to me. Please don’t give up on us.”

  My anger subsides as the sadness kicks in. I don’t want to fight with him. I don’t want him to be so broken. I just want to move on. I want to understand why he did what he did and let go of the hurt. I’m not sure I can accept what he did. It wasn’t even the first time he lied. Is there more I don’t know about? What happens if I forgive him and the next time is simply unforgivable? He has the power to crush me. I barely got out with my heart in pieces this last time. What if he does it again? Will I even walk out alive?

  “I can’t trust you,” I say with honesty.

  “I know,” is his only response. But that doesn’t satisfy me.

  “How can we move past this, then? I don’t know what’s truth or lies with you anymore.”

  He takes another step closer to me. “I can promise I am not lying about how I feel about you.”

  “But is that enough? Love doesn’t fix everything. You barely talked about your past to me. You barely talk to me about anything personal with you.” Another step and our bodies are close to touching. I want to step back, but my body aches to be wrapped around his. “I don’t really know you.”

  I must be a glutton for punishment. I allow him to raise his hand and brush his palm against my cheek. My eyes shutter closed at the sensation of him touching me. God, I missed this. “I will tell you everything. Anything. I’ve never had someone who I’ve wanted to open up to. Not until you.”

  I open my eyes to meet his. “Creed, that doesn’t change anything. I didn’t even know you were engaged.”

  His eyes change, the anger sifting back through. “Because it was a bullshit ruse.”

  “Was it? You set out such a plan of revenge for a bullshit engagement? She had to be someone to you. Enough for you to have such anger towards her and your brother.”

  “My brother didn’t think twice about me when Mary threw herself at him. I knew she wanted him the moment I introduced them. I chose to be oblivious to it. She was my girl. She had been wearing my ring. But that didn’t matter to her. She had her eyes set on the doctor.”

  I figured that much out by putting together the pieces of the day Steven showed up at the office. There was no hiding what Steven did, he did it without shame. It made me wonder when Mary came into the picture, or maybe when I did. Mary made it clear they were something before us, but when and where does Creed fit in?

  “Mary told me she and Steven were together before I met him. Were you with Mary, then?”

  He takes some time to think as if remembering. “I dated Mary for three years before we got engaged. She was a working nurse out here in Seattle. When I proposed, I took her home to meet my family. That’s when she set her eyes on Steven. After that, she fought to go back to Spokane. Wedding planning with my mom, she’d say. I didn’t pay much attention because I was too wrapped up in Roe Inc. It was during those visits she somehow landed a job at Spokane General Hospital and told me she had a transfer. She would rent a place back in Spokane until after the wedding and I would just find us a home there. She was all by herself, fucking my brother for over a year when I found out. The typical bullshit story. I came home to surprise her. She was in bed with my brother.”

  Poor Creed. His pain is no different than what I went through.

  “She called it off. Stayed in Spokane and that was it. I assumed they stayed together, but that’s when you popped up. The sudden wedding. The look in your eyes that said you really had no idea who you just got yourself involved with.”

  It hurts to know I was a decoy for Steven. That he probably never loved me and just needed a cover so he could continue having an affair with a woman who wasn’t his.

  “It was once I heard you two split that I thought to find you. Sleep with you, just to see how my brother felt. He sure made it out to seem like you broke his heart. So what better way to get back at him. But then I met you. And you were nothing like what he described. You were kind and funny. Fragile, yet fierce. I almost walked out on you at the bar that night, knowing you weren’t who he painted you to be. But being around you, I just couldn’t leave. So, I selfishly chose to stick to my plan. Because I wanted you.”

  My mind quickly goes back to that night. How intense he was at the table. The way his eyes devoured me. The way he boldly kissed me.

  He goes on. “You surprised the fuck outta me that night. With how innocent, but eager, you were. There was not a single inch of you I didn’t taste and I knew I fucked up. I shouldn’t have touched you. Because there was no way I was going to be able to walk away. I stayed an extra night, hoping to run into you again after your convention, but you never showed. Finally, I came for you.”

  Listening to him, makes me think of something. “How did you get into my room that morning?”

  “I had your key. I took it after you passed out. Even then, I knew I couldn’t stay away, so I selfishly took it, knowing I would come back for more.”

  I remember how gentle he was with me. How kind. He took care of me and made sure I got home safe. “I never thanked you for what you did.”

  He waves his hand. “You don’t need to thank me. It’s the least I could have done. I should have stayed to make sure you got on that plane okay.”

  “But?” I can tell he wants to say more.

  “But I knew I had to leave. I was quickly becoming infatuated with you. I had to put space between you and my desires.”

  Hmmm. Interesting. “The job?”

  “I already told you. I tried to stay out of it. I tried to walk away. But I couldn’t. So I planted you in my life. I gave you the job. I set up the housing, all so you could be close to me. All so I could intertwine myself into your life.”

  I’m fighting to stay mad at him. What he did was wrong. And almost stalkerish. But as I look at him, I can see the honesty in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. He’s not hiding anymore. “Why did you change your mind about Steven knowing? Why were you so adamant on keeping it from him?”

  “Because he would have figured me out. He would know it wouldn’t have been coincidence you and I ran into each other. He would have told you the truth and taken you away from me. I couldn’t let that happen. Not again.”

  I’m feeling lost here. Listening to him, I get it. At least, I think I do. Do I want to fault him for wanting someone so bad, hearing the lengths he took? There’s no denying that I’m just as in love with him as he is with me. This all wouldn’t hurt so bad if I wasn’t.

  “I don’t know what to do here, Creed. What do you expect from me?”

  “I expect you to hate me.”

  His head dips low, a sign of defeat. I step forward, eliminating the space between us. I cup his cheek with my palm, pressing my forehead up against his. “
Tell me how to forgive you. I’m hurting, too. And I don’t know how to make that stop. Tell me, how do we fix that?”

  His hands lift to cradle my face. His eyes shine with intent. Purpose. Our noses are touching and his lips are so close. I want to lift up onto my tippy toes and close the space between us. But Creed knows exactly what I want. His lips brush against mine, just as he speaks. “I want you to let me love you. Let me show you the regret I feel. The pain that lives inside me that only you cure. Let me show you that I’ve never been so deeply in love with someone, that my life isn’t whole without you in it. My heart doesn’t want to beat when you’re not close to me. I’ll understand if you walk away. I deserve it. I’ve never deserved you. But know that my intentions are only you. My soul, my heart, my life. They all belong to you.”

  Tears are running down my cheeks. My heart is beating wildly. I grab for his face and press my lips to his. The feel of him wakes up every nerve in my body. I hold still, needing to embrace his touch. His lips. His words. In time, I pull away and speak.

  “I want to try. I want to figure out how we move past this. Okay?”

  “Yes, God yes.” He presses his lips back to mine, but I quickly pull away.

  “But I want to let you know, I have very peculiar expectations when it comes to my friends.”

  Creed laughs, bringing his arms around my waist and tugging me tightly to him. “I want to be more than friends, Kitten. I want to be your everything.”

  SHE’S TAKING FOR GODDAMN EVER. I should never have let her agree to volunteer at the damn center. She never wants to leave that fucking place. She sent me a photo of her and a smiling kid earlier during the day, and just the way her face shined, her skin glowed, and the way her shirt dipped, I’ve been hard ever since. She needs to come out of that fucking center before I tear her out.

  “I’ll see ya! Thanks again! See you tomorrow!” She waves at Becca, turning her attention to me.

  Fucking beautiful.

  It never gets tiresome looking at her. Each time, a tightness forms in my chest at how angelic she is. How perfect. Mine. That last part is what baffles me. How did I get this girl?

  I walked into her hotel room that day, three months ago, ready for a fight. I wasn’t going to leave until I made my point. And that was that this girl had changed me. I had also never been so scared in my life.

  I wasn’t a good man. I did horrible things in my life to get ahead. I wasn’t the scholar like my brother. I didn’t play fair when it came to business. I didn’t even play fair when it came to women. But the day I went up against Kasey Bishop, I realized one hard fact. I wasn’t invincible. Yeah, she saw right through me, but, she also saw the truth. I wasn’t the hard, unfazed asshole I wanted everyone to see. She saw a man who was hurting inside. Jaded by love. By family. By life. And she just wanted to make it better. And God, did she.

  The easy part was getting her to forgive me. The hard part was showing her she could trust me again. The impossible was getting her to know I would never, ever, do anything to hurt her again. I fucked up, royally. I took a girl who was already wounded by love and pushed her further into her doubts. I wanted her, no, I needed her to know I would never hurt her again. I swore I would spend every fucking second of my day proving to her I was worthy.

  I wonder if she could feel it in the way I touch her, fuck her, taste every part of her as if it’s what keeps me alive. Sane. Able to cope with life. She does that to me. She offers me life.

  She let me back in that day and I swore I would never lie to her again. We talked. She got me to open up about my past. My mistakes. We discussed where we went from there. My immediate response was for her to come back to Seattle and into my condo. She thought it best we take it slow. She told me she had some interviews lined up. If they worked out, she may take them. Does it make me the bad guy that any referral that came through, I had Virginia offer a bad review? I know, again, I’m an asshole. But I needed her here. I would offer her the world, but I wouldn’t survive if she was that far away. She finally waved her white flag. I was there, bringing her back before she even finished her sentence. She did have one stipulation. She would return to Roe Inc., but she kept her apartment. I wanted to argue and pull her lease so she had no choice but to move in with me, but I was trying to be a better man. Reformed asshole, I would like to call it. So I agreed, but don’t be fooled, I got her at my place any chance I could. Who would have thought that remodeling my kitchen to have a thirty-two case cereal dispenser built into the wall would make my girl never want to leave? Because damn, does my girl love her cereal. The problem is, whenever I smell the shit, it gets me hard. With her or alone in a grocery store. Fucked up, I know. But it reminds me of her. And anything Kasey Bishop gets my body, mind, my fucking soul to feel alive.

  “Hey you, I thought you had a meeting this afternoon?”

  “Cancelled it. Hurry up.”

  Her smile, dammit, she’s making it worse. If my dick gets any harder in my slacks, I’m not gonna make it back to my car. I now regret parking so far, wanting to make sure we were in a secluded spot when I got her back. At this point, I don’t give a fuck who sees us.

  “Why, where are we going? You should have come in. The kids would have loved to see you.”

  I grab her hand to help move her along. The feel of her soft skin against mine fucks with me. I’m practically forcing myself to think about random shit just so I don’t attack her on the street. “Great. Next time.” One more block.

  “Creed, what’s up with you?” Her sweet voice echoes into the cool air. Ten more feet. “Are you going to tell me what has you in such a hurry?” Two more feet. Her laughter tells me she knows exactly why I’m in such a hurry.

  “Fuck.” I can’t even wait to get her in my car. I pull her into the secluded alley. When I chose the new location for the center, I made sure it was in a good part of the neighborhood. Once I get us out of the street’s view, I waste no time pressing her tight little body up against the brick building and crushing my lips down on hers. The sounds of her instant moans are freeing. If there was one sound I’d want to play on repeat until I’m dead, it would be her voice, her whimpers, every single moan that I cause.

  She isn’t shocked or startled when I use my free hand and hike up her skirt. She knows when she wears these things it’s a warning. Wear those skirts, allowing me easy access to that sweet pussy, and I will take full advantage. My crazy mind calms at the feel of her wet center. Always fucking wet for me. I thrust a finger inside her, needing her to know she’s mine. She doesn’t disappoint when her walls latch around me. I pull my lips off hers, loving the way they look swollen from me. Her eyes are hooded over. She’s loving this.

  Her soft moans, mixed with those sexy as fuck little giggles, is going to be the death of me. “You know, Mr. Monroe, I expected you to come for me a lot sooner after sending that picture.”

  My little vixen. Far from the innocent kitten she once claimed to be. I thrust my finger as deep as she’ll allow, watching her lips part in appreciation. “Ahhh, you had your own expectations, I see.” I pull out just to push back where it feels like heaven.

  “And yours?” she asks, her beautiful eyes shining with lust for me. Only me.

  “My expectations are simple, Ms. Bishop. To fuck you until you scream against this brick wall, then love you till my last dying breath.”

  THE END.

  Thanks to my crew of peeps who help me always along the way with each book I create.

  I want to start off by thanking my editing staff who helped make this book perfect. A shout out to Robin Bateman, Jenn Wood and Ellie McLove. Thanks to my Betas, Kristi Webster, Amy Wiater and Jenny Hanson.

  Thank you to Kristi at All by Design for the amazing cover! You nailed it.

  Thank you to my awesome reader group, Club JD. All your constant support for what I do warms my heart. I appreciate all the time you take in helping my stories come to life within this community.

  A big hug and wine clink to Stacey
at Champagne Formats for always making my books look so pretty.

  And most importantly every single reader and blogger! THANK YOU for all that you do. For supporting me, reading my stories, spreading the word. It’s because of you that I get to continue in this business. And for that I am forever grateful.

  Cheers. This big glass of wine is for you.

  Creative designer, mother, wife, writer, part time superhero…

  J.D. Hollyfield is a creative designer by day and superhero by night. When she is not trying to save the world one happy ending at a time, she enjoys the snuggles of her husband, son and three doxies. With her love for romance, and head full of book boyfriends, she was inspired to test her creative abilities and bring her own story to life.

  J.D. Hollyfield lives in the Midwest, and is currently at work on blowing the minds of readers, with the additions of her new books and series, along with her charm, humor and HEA’s.

  Read MORE of J.D. Hollyfield

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  Life Next Door

  Life in a Rut, Love not Included

  Life as we Know it

  Faking It

  Unlocking Adeline

  Sinful Instincts

  Passing Peter Parker

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