by Iris Blobel
****
Mia walked back to the motorhome, frustrated by not being able to help Jared more. How hard could it be to get a visa and come for a visit? She was sure Jared had enough money to pay for the flight or at least pay part of it.
"How hard would it be to visit Australia?" she asked Josh, still thinking about her conversation with Ivy.
"What?"
She stared at him, realising that he hadn't been privy to the chat she'd had with Ivy.
"I mean, it's obvious, right, that Jared likes Ivy. So why won't they make an effort for her to come to Hobart?"
Josh took her hand and slowly and gently pulled her into an embrace. "I don't think easy is the issue here, Muffin."
Mia only heard his words in a distance. The sudden closeness to his warm body momentarily startled her. She'd been with Josh for most of her teenage life and the comfort of knowing someone so completely still amazed her. The distant word easy rushed through her head and her own decision of going to Melbourne or not came to the forefront.
"Is going to Melbourne an easy issue?" she asked without looking at him.
"For many it seems so, but for you it isn't," he replied.
She pondered that reply for a moment and tried to apply it to Jared and Ivy.
Leaning back, she met his eyes. "You're saying there's more to it than Ivy visiting Australia?"
He chuckled. "I would have a guess. One doesn't travel to the other side of the world for a nice holiday fling."
With a sigh, she snuggled into him even more. She'd missed his touch. Only then did she notice how much she'd missed it and just how much she'd missed him.
"D'you think she's only a fling for Jared?"
"Nope."
Mia looked at him again. "Well, why did you say it then?"
He shrugged.
"Honestly, you're not making any sense."
Leaning back, he met her gaze. "All I'm saying is that the obvious is not necessarily clear or transparent. Who knows what's holding them back."
"You're saying it could be something as simple as me being scared of moving away from my family."
Josh placed a kiss on her forehead. "Exactly!"
Mia thought about that and in a way, it made sense. Although she didn't really like what Josh had reasoned with, it might be as simple as either of them, or even both, being scared of making the next step. Considering that the idea of moving to Melbourne had brought her all the way to the other side of the world, simply because she was worried about leaving her nest, she wasn't even able to imagine how it would feel to move to the other side of the world. But for a holiday?
"Josh?"
"Uh-huh?"
"I'll come to Melbourne with you. I mean after all, it's only a one hour flight back to Hobart, right?"
Before she knew it, his lips touched hers and all her remaining hesitations and doubts slowly faded away.
****
Jared watched Mia and Josh in the distance and, judging by their embrace and the kiss, he assumed all was going well. A stab of envy went through him. Inhaling deeply, he thought of Ally. He tried to remember her beautiful face. The fine lines around her dark blue eyes. His gaze wandered towards the scenery around him, and the fact that he wasn't able to remember anything else of her face nearly choked him. So much so, he had to fight back tears.
"Are you all right?"
Ivy's words startled him and a knot formed in his stomach as she approached him.
He nodded. "Yeah. All good."
Sitting down next to him, she pointed over to Mia and Josh. "They're such a cute couple."
Choking back a laugh, he said, "Cute?"
She looked at him. "You know what I mean."
But he only cocked a brow.
They fell into a silent moment, interrupted by the sound of the soft breeze around them.
Ivy's words finally broke the quietness. "Do you think you will ever get over Ally?"
Even though the question came out of nowhere, it didn't really surprise him. What did surprise him, though, was how much they seemed to be aligned with their thoughts. He always laughed about Mark's stories telling him that Sophie had this creepy ability to almost read Mark's thoughts.
Jared turned and looked at her, not really sure what the answer was. He wasn't really sure where she was going with the question either.
Heaving a deep breath, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs. "I can't even focus on her face anymore," he said quietly. His voice nearly broke and when he felt her hand on his back, he knew she'd noticed as well.
Shaking his head, he continued "I loved her so much, now I can't even remember what she looked like."
Ivy didn't say anything, but came closer.
"She was very pretty. I know that, but I can't bring my mind to remember a single feature but the colour of her eyes. Ally's eyes were dark, deep blue. Amazing colour."
Then he turned and met Ivy's gaze. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "It's probably the last thing you want to hear."
She shook her head. "Not at all. I'm a bit jealous, okay, or probably more envious of what you had with Ally. But I think I understand. I understand how hard it must be to have loved so much and then have lost it all."
Jared straightened and took her hand. "I didn't lose it. I walked away. She needed me and I walked away."
"You had everyone's blessing to walk. Everyone who loved her gave you their blessing."
When she touched his cheek, tracing the thin lines around his eyes, he felt a rush through his body, telling him how much he wanted her.
"I don't know Ally, but if it'd been me, I'd wanted you to move on and live your life. Remember the wonderful time we had, but don't get stuck in a time warp."
"Elisa said the same words."
She arched her left brow questioningly.
"Her grandmother," he replied.
"Jared?"
Their eyes met again.
"I want to save money and come to Australia to visit you."
Chapter Nineteen
Ivy had no idea why she'd said the words she'd said. There was no way she was able to earn enough money to afford going to the other side of the world. If she did, by the time she had the money Jared would've probably moved on already.
However, she'd fallen for him head over heels, and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. It scared her right to her bones because she hardly knew him. But that was a measure in time. What she knew about him in character and feelings was more than she'd ever known about Dylan. Dylan had always laughed at her when she talked about her feelings. Dylan had never made her feel so important and respected like Jared did. It wasn't the reason she'd left him, because she'd no idea it was missing in her life. Only when Jared came along, showed her, and treated her that way, did she realise it.
Yes, her heart was telling her every single minute that Jared was the one. But was visiting him in Australia the answer? People always say that life was different, or even a person is different, in a daily routine like work, responsibilities, and amongst friends.
Could she dare to invest so much money to find out? Or find out that, indeed, Jared was a different person back in Hobart. She knew from Mia that he worked hard, yet it was clear that Mia also thought it was because there was nothing else in his life.
She'd invest in a computer first with internet connection and find out whether he'd be the one to keep in contact. Never mind that Josh had laughed at the idea of Jared writing emails.
****
The next day, they headed west towards the coast.
Ivy and Mia laughed at the men's interest in the F15 fighter jets in Klamath Falls airport, but more so at their persistence to find the right spot to watch them take off and land. It was an entertaining spectacle.
Later on, they had a brief stop at a cat wildlife park, which they all enjoyed. Ivy was surprised at the knowledge Jared had about wildlife and hung on every word he said.
It was late that night when they finally arrived in Crescent Ci
ty and booked into the first RV Park they saw. It was right near the beach. Ivy didn't have a chance to explore the surroundings because it was pouring down with rain—again—and the darkness of the early night made it impossible. It'd been a long day, so they all headed for bed almost straight after dinner.
****
The next morning, Jared's hand on Ivy's shoulder startled her as she walked along the small beach with her feet in the water.
"Not too cold?" he asked.
She shook her head and smiled. "Not at all. I love it."
He turned to look at the sea and watched the birds in the distance.
"I remember Mom took me to the beach when I was very small," she said. "She told me often how I'd have sand in my hair and ears, between my toes and even my bum crack."
That made him laugh and she did, too.
"I don't remember the beach, but have this beautiful picture in my mind put together from all that my mom had told me." Her gaze met his. "I couldn't even tell you where it'd been."
"Hobart's a harbour and there are a few nice beaches around. I'd love to take you there one day."
Trying hard not to jump up and down at her conclusion that he wanted her to come as well, she studied his face for any emotions. Anything that would tell her that he really wanted her to come, but there was nothing. Not even a hint. His words had meant so much to her and now she wasn't even sure whether she'd read too much into his comment.
Following his gaze out to the horizon, she asked quietly, "Would you like me to come?"
With the gentle touch, she'd got used to from him, he placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her into his arms. His embrace had become so familiar to her, and the place she felt safe and protected. Where would she go once he'd left? Jared placed a kiss on her forehead, but didn't speak and left her question unanswered. The tears falling onto her cheek probably stained his shirt, but she didn't move, too upset to have read too much into his small reply.
Knowing she was running out of time, she finally did move away and looked at him. His gaze told her he was far away in thoughts.
"A penny for your thoughts," she whispered.
He smiled, but it didn't reach his brown eyes or bring out his dimples. It said it all, though. Ally was on his mind, and at that moment, she was unsure whether he'd ever move on. Ivy stepped out of his embrace, realising then and there that there was no place for her in his life. Ally would always be in his heart, no matter how much he'd felt for her.
The realisation made her nauseous, and she quietly walked away.
****
Jared watched Ivy walk towards the caravan park, and it felt like a knife had stabbed him a thousand times. Her touch and the sensation of having her in his arms was too much temptation. It stirred him right to his core. He knew he'd fallen in love with her.
So why would she just walk away?
Saying goodbye to Ally hadn't been easy. Not years ago and not now. But he knew he had to. He needed to let go of Ally to move on, and he hoped so much that it'd be with Ivy. There had to be a way to make this work.
What had she seen when she looked at him?
Raking his hand through his hair, his gaze went out into the distance again. He watched the fishing boats come and go, and his mind wandered off thinking about what kind of industry they had at the northern Californian coast. Not that it was of much interest.
Thinking of an itinerary for the next few days, he was considering whether or not to go to Yosemite National Park when he saw Mia coming towards him. A smile tugged at his lips, but quickly disappeared when he noticed she was crying.
"You're such a man," she accused him as she slapped him on his chest.
Jared quickly grabbed her wrist when she was about to hit him again. "Hey, hold it for a sec. What happened?"
She glared at him. "You know exactly what happened."
He didn't. Initially, he'd thought that Josh had been the reason for her tears and anger. It was obvious that most of her anger, if not all of it, was towards him. He heard her quick intake of breaths, grabbed her other wrist, and tried to calm her down.
"Mia, listen to me. Ya need to calm down."
"Me? I don't want to calm down. I'm sick of everyone telling me what to do and what's best for me, while you're playing with other people's hearts."
Jared's eyebrows shot up into his forehead. Playing with other people's hearts? Where did that come from? He stood there, holding Mia's stare, but his mind was blank.
"Mia," he said with as much patience he was able to come up with. "Ya need to tell me what happened."
He noticed Josh coming towards them in a few long strides. His face showed the same emotions—a mix of anger, disappointment, and frustration. Jared watched him coming closer. Josh took in the situation with Jared holding on to Mia's wrists and placed his arm around her while gently pulling her away from Jared.
"Ivy packed up and left," Josh explained
Jared slowly let go of Mia's hands while he stared at Josh. The words sunk in but didn't make sense.
Ivy left?
His whole body went hot and then cold.
"Why?" he asked, his voice breaking.
"What did you say to her?"
Jared turned to Mia and shook his head. "I… I didn't—" But he wasn't sure what to explain. His gaze went back out onto the horizon where the boats were still coming and going. Trying his hardest to recall the conversation, he remembered he was about to ask her to come to Hobart but she'd walked off. He rubbed his hands over his face and slowly turned again.
"I was about to ask her—" But he couldn't finish the sentence.
Mia stepped closer wiping the tears from her eyes. "Ask her what?"
Jared pinched the top of his nose, trying to focus on what had gone wrong. He looked over to Josh and then to Mia. Confusion clouded his mind, but he tried hard to figure out in his foggy head what had gone wrong. What was it that she misunderstood or misinterpreted?
"To come with us to Hobart. After all, what has she got to lose?" He let out a deep sigh. "But she'd walked off already."
It seemed that Mia's outburst and anger had settled as she saw him struggling with his emotions as well. "But why?"
Jarod shrugged. He'd loved to know as well.
"Something you didn't say?" Josh asked.
Jared was about to shake his head as he met his friend's gaze. The question surprised him, and he remembered that he'd thought about Ally before Ivy had walked off. Thought of moving on and saying a quiet Love you across the water. Did Ivy misinterpret whatever she'd seen on his face?
As he scratched the back of his head, he gave a slow nod. "You might be onto something."
Another deep sigh before he said, "Let's get on the road. I've got something to tell ya."
Mia's eyes shot wide open.
"You need to wait, mate. We're behind in our schedule, and we don't wanna miss the flight back home, right?"
There was a hesitant smile on Mia's face, and Josh nodded. They walked back to the motorhome in silence, packed up and left—heading south towards the Golden City.
****
Mia was torn between admiring the scenery and listening to Jared. The scenery was breathtaking and as much as she'd always considered Tasmania's rugged coast to be the most beautiful spot in the world, this came a close second. It was breathtaking. It was also terrifying, driving on the right side, and being so close to the edge. Every time a big truck approached them, she held onto everything close by, but Jared was a great driver and handled it with ease. Even while telling his story.
"So you haven't seen Ally since that day you said goodbye?" Her throat closed up just thinking about it. She'd had no idea.
"Nope. Talked to her grandma, Elisa, a few times, but I—" He looked over at her and simply shook his head, finishing his sentence with a silent no.
"But I don't understand."
Jared choked back a laugh and looked in the rear-view-mirror. Mia followed his gaze. Josh seemed to be in deep thought.
"Mate. When you love someone like I loved Ally," Jared said, breaking the silence, "and leave them because they're sick, you kind of develop a low respect of yourself."
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed him swallowing hard. It was obvious he struggled with his emotions, and Mia was momentarily taken aback by this side of Jared.
Josh moved in the back and leaned back into the seat. "I don't understand why Ivy left, though, and I still don't get what the whole thing's got to do with her."
Mia agreed. She hadn't figured that part out either.
Jared scratched the back of his head and gave her a quick glance.
"When the going gets tough, I'm leaving. Who tells me I'm not going to do it again?"
"You're expecting her to have an accident as well?" Mia asked.
"You're basing your assumptions on a wrong platform," Josh added from the back.
Mia agreed.
"I know. But when you've lived with that rotten feeling of having left someone behind because of their disability, you lose faith in yourself." Jared turned and looked at Mia. "But Ivy made me feel great. Comfortable. At home." He hesitated and then quietly added. "That's why I was about to ask her to come with to Hobart."
Mia's heart ached for him. She understood, but still couldn't figure out why Ivy had left before he'd asked. Everything in Ivy's movements and her words had told Mia she loved him as much as he probably loved her.
"I've got her phone number," Mia said after a long moment of silence. "She hasn't answered yet, but I'm sure at some stage she will."
A big grin spread across Jared's face.
Chapter Twenty
Ivy listened to Mia's message and then deleted it. She really liked the girl and would miss her, and when the time was right, she'd give her a call to explain her departure.