Devon sighed. “After we got engaged, Beth invited me to spend the weekend with her family. While we were there, I spent a lot of time on the phone trying to deal with some problems that had come up at work. And when I wasn’t on the phone, I was distracted, thinking up solutions. Her family is big. With the noise and chaos, we both got a little testy and argued.
“After we got back to Chicago, we planned to go out to dinner and sort things out, but an emergency came up at work and I had to cancel. That night, she stopped by the office, gave me the ring back, and told me she was sorry but it wouldn’t work out. She needed to marry someone who valued her more than a job. Someone who would be around, who liked kids, and who would one day make a good father. She said that wasn’t me.” Devon paused. “And she was right.”
“No. She just didn’t know any better. You’ve already proven her wrong.”
“Thanks, but I’ve changed a little since then. And to be honest, I did think her nieces and nephews were really annoying.”
Stella laughed. “Maybe they’ll grow on you in time.”
“Yeah.”
“Doesn’t she have a job? How can she watch Ryan for two weeks?”
“She works for her uncle and can pretty much get time off whenever she wants.”
“Oh.” Stella connected and disconnected two paperclips, wishing things were different. That she could be the one to watch Ryan. That she could be the one who Devon wanted to—Stella, stop! “Well, I hope things work out for the best. Have a safe trip and keep in touch, all right?”
“I promise.”
And he would. Stella knew that much. What she didn’t know was if she really wanted him to anymore. If only she didn’t care so much about Ryan. If only she hadn’t promised Lindsay she’d remain a part of his life.
Stella powered off the computer and walked to the window. People passed by on the sidewalk below, headed somewhere. Were they going out with friends? Home to a wife or a family? Or were they on their own, like her, walking toward a destination, but aimless just the same?
Stella needed to get away. Away from the office and away from her flat. She needed a distraction—somewhere that would remind her that being single and unattached had its perks.
But where?
“Hey, girl.” Tess walked into her office and sat on the green upholstered chair. “You look about as cheerful as I feel.”
“Bad day?” Stella asked.
“It started off well, until Jeremy called and said he can’t make it to the U2 concert with me tonight,” Tess said. “We’ve had the tickets for months, and I’m not about to stay home because my fiancé can’t go. You interested?”
A slow smile replaced Stella’s frown. “Definitely. Your timing couldn’t be better.”
Chapter Fourteen
Devon kept a firm grip on Ryan’s hand as they walked through the Chicago airport. The gray, filthy snow piled high on the side of the road was an unwelcome reminder of the cold that would be waiting for them outside. He should have bought a warmer coat for Ryan.
A group of people passed by, revealing a tall, elegant girl with long, shiny black hair. Beth. With her clear blue eyes, she looked as beautiful and exotic as ever. Her high-heeled boots beat a staccato rhythm against the checkerboard marble floors. “Hello, Devon.”
“Hey.”
She threw her arms around him, and Devon resisted the urge to breathe in her perfume—a light scent she knew he loved. Eight months was a long time, especially after all that had happened between them. Devon half-heartedly returned her hug with his one free arm and then pulled away. “Beth, this is Ryan.”
Beth smiled and crouched down to Ryan’s level. “Hi Ryan. It’s great to finally meet you. I’m so excited to spend time with you.”
Ryan watched her in silence, neither smiling nor frowning. He looked more bored than anything. The poor kid was worn out and probably sick of meeting new people.
They followed Beth to her car, and she drove them to a nearby restaurant for dinner. An elegant and expensive French restaurant.
“Uh, Beth, I’m not sure Ryan will like this place,” Devon said.
With a smile, she said, “Give me some credit, will you? They have a kids menu with American food like hamburgers and chicken nuggets. Besides,” she said, reaching for Devon’s hand, “you love French food.”
“But Ryan doesn’t, and he’s not American.”
Beth looked over her shoulder and flashed Ryan a brilliant smile. “Hey, you like chicken nuggets, don’t you?”
Ryan shook his head.
She tried again. “Have you ever eaten a chicken nugget?”
Another shake.
“Well, how do you know you don’t like them if you haven’t tried them?”
“I don’t like them.” Ryan looked at Devon. “Can we have custard?”
Before Devon could answer, Beth said, “Sure—for dessert. We can get some frozen custard on our way back to Devon’s, okay?”
Ryan frowned. “I don’t want custard that’s freezing. I’m cold.”
Right then, Devon wanted to pick up Ryan and take him back to Australia. A place Ryan knew. A place he was familiar with. A place he called home. It wasn’t fair that a small, four-year-old boy should have to go through so much change in such a short amount of time.
He threw Ryan an apologetic look. “Sorry, bud, but they don’t have custard in America. They only have something called pudding, which is sort of like custard, but not as good.”
Ryan’s lips quivered, his eyes bright with unshed tears. “I don’t want chicken. I want custard.”
Devon thought fast. “What about noodles? Like the kind Grandma Lydia made you?”
“The long snake kind I can slurp?”
“The very same.”
The dimple didn’t appear, but at least Ryan offered a solemn nod. One potential disaster averted.
Beth didn’t say anything until she had reversed the car and pulled from the parking lot. In a quiet but firm voice, she said, “You shouldn’t give in to Ryan when he acts that way. You basically just taught him that he’ll get what he wants whenever he whines.”
“Beth, we’ve been up since six o’clock this morning. Our connecting flight was delayed, and it’s been a long day. Ryan’s in yet another new place, meeting another new person, and he’s tired. So am I.”
Her expression softened and she smiled. “Does that mean you’re going to throw a tantrum too?”
“I just might if there’s a long wait.”
Beth laughed. “That I’d love to see.”
They stopped at the first Italian restaurant they found, and thankfully didn’t have to wait long to be seated. When the waiter brought menus, Devon hoped Beth would make up her mind quickly. Before, she’d always taken forever to decide, and Ryan wasn’t in a patient mood that night.
That hope died a tortuous death when the waiter came back the fourth time. By then, Ryan had shaken salt all over the table, spilled his water, and crawled under the table, nearly taking the tablecloth with him. Instead of concentrating on the menu, Beth had made comments such as, “Ryan, let’s not play with the salt and pepper okay?” and “Ryan, don’t climb under the table. It’s not polite.” and “Uh-oh! If you would sit still your water wouldn’t have spilled.”
Devon wanted to shout, “Will you just order already?” Didn’t she realize that Ryan would behave better with a plate of food to eat? Where was the waiter with their bread, anyway?
“Beth, why don’t you let me handle Ryan while you decide what you want?” Please, please just order something.
Beth gave him a frustrated look before returning to the menu. When the waiter came a fifth time, she asked him for a recommendation.
“I guess I’ll try that, thanks,” she said.
Finally.
“I’m hungry,” Ryan said. “When can we eat?”
“Soon, honey,” Beth said. “They’re making it right now.”
Where were the crayons and paper placemat when Devo
n needed them? And where was that bread? Couldn’t the waiter tell Ryan was bored and hungry?
“Here you go,” the waiter said, setting a bowl of hot breadsticks on their table. “Sorry it took so long, but they’re fresh from the oven.”
Devon wanted to hug the guy. “Thanks.”
Ryan reached across the table and grabbed two breadsticks, one in each hand.
“No, sweetie, just take one at a time.” Beth’s voice brought goose bumps to Devon’s arms. But not the good kind. The kind that came from fingernails on a chalkboard. Why couldn’t she try to get to know Ryan instead of continually pointing out his faults?
Ryan is acting more troublesome than usual, he tried to tell himself. But it didn’t help. If Devon hadn’t already asked Beth to go to a different restaurant, he would have had the waiter box up their order.
But the food finally came, and things went better after that. Thank goodness.
As they walked out of the restaurant, Beth said, “I thought it would be fun to see a movie.”
Ryan wrapped his little arms around Devon’s leg. “I want to go home.”
“Beth, if it’s okay with you, I think I’m going to take Ryan home and put him to bed. We’re both pretty tired.”
Beth nodded and drove them to Devon’s apartment complex. Instead of dropping them off at the front entrance, Beth parked in the visitor parking.
“Are you coming up?” Devon asked.
“If it’s okay. I know you’re going to be working late during the next two weeks, so I should probably familiarize myself with Ryan’s bedtime routine.”
She had a point. Although now Devon was worried about how Beth and Ryan would get along. Would she be kind and fun? Patient? Or would Beth constantly tell Ryan not to do that, not to do this, not to have fun. No.
The word slammed into Devon, leaving a sick feeling in his gut. Lindsay had loathed that word and all it implied, and yet here Devon was, handing Ryan over to someone who had no problem saying it. What had he been thinking?
Devon held Ryan’s hand as the elevator glided upward. After Ryan went to bed, he would talk to Beth. Let her know that Ryan was special and wonderful. That Ryan had been through a lot and what he really needed right now was a healthy dose of love. Maybe then Beth would understand and not be so critical.
Maybe.
If only Stella were here. Devon missed her. He missed the girl who adored Ryan and who believed he could make a good parent. The girl he could leave Ryan with and not worry because she loved him like her own.
Beth didn’t.
Not yet anyway.
Devon sighed as the elevator arrived at his apartment. He needed to give Beth a chance—for both Ryan and himself.
Chapter Fifteen
Devon arrived at the bowling alley twenty minutes late. When he’d phoned Beth to let her know he’d be getting off work earlier that night, she’d spontaneously planned a night out. And Devon was glad. For the first time in three days, he would get to see Ryan awake.
The large, open room reflected the glow of the black lights. Florescent pinks, yellows, and greens covered the walls like graffiti. Beth had called it “midnight bowling” even though it was only seven o’clock.
People milled about eating, drinking, bowling, and playing video games. Across the room, Ryan, wearing a glowing white shirt, pushed a neon green bowling ball down a ramp. It rolled slowly down the slick wooden floor, bounced off the bumpers a few times, and knocked over the two remaining pins. He jumped up and down as an excited squeal floated across the room. “I did it! I knocked all the pins down!”
Devon grinned and moved forward to greet them.
“Give me rocks,” Beth said to Ryan, making a fist.
Ryan balled his fingers and punched Beth’s fist with his own. “Oh yeah, oh yeah, I’m good!”
Beth winced and pulled her fingers away, then scooped Ryan in for a hug. “You are totally going to beat Devon when he gets here.”
“Who’s going to beat me?” Devon asked.
Ryan charged straight into his arms. “Yay, you’re here!”
“Sorry I’m late.”
Beth shrugged. “I figured you would be, so they’ve been letting us practice. I’ll go tell them we’re ready now.”
“Thanks.” Despite Devon’s initial concerns, Beth had been great during the past few days, playing the role of nanny. Even after a long day with Ryan, she still greeted Devon with a smile each night. She would rub his shoulders while they talked, then leave when Devon started yawning. She really was wonderful.
So why couldn’t he get close to her again? Why, whenever he stopped to catch his breath, would his thoughts drift to a certain blue-eyed blonde in Australia, rather than to Beth—someone he was once engaged to marry?
Devon couldn’t say, nor did he want to worry about it any longer that night. He’d rather enjoy the evening and hang out with his favorite little guy.
“Come on. You need to pick out your ball.” Ryan tugged on his hand. “I’ll show you where.”
“Will you help me pick one out?”
Ryan nodded and dragged Devon over to the racks of balls. “I like that one.” He pointed to a fifteen-pound neon orange ball.
“Great choice.”
Ryan bowled first, so out came the ramp and up came the bumpers. The ramp went away for Beth’s turn, but the bumpers remained. When Devon’s turn came, the bumpers disappeared.
“You’re that scared I’ll win?” Devon asked Beth.
“I like to think of it as insurance,” said Beth. “Now how about a bet for old times’ sake?”
“Sure, why not?” A group of teenagers bowled a few lanes down. They looked nice enough. “Let’s say the loser has to convince one of those kids to let them bowl their turn?”
Beth grinned. “Deal.”
For the next hour, they bowled, laughed, and taunted. When Beth got a strike, Ryan jumped up and down and gave her five.
“I’m winning,” Beth mouthed to Devon, her smile wide.
This is good. This is what I want. Right?
Right.
Then why did it feel like something was missing—someone was missing?
You’re an idiot, Devon. Stella’s an infatuation—nothing more.
Even if she were more, she couldn’t get much farther away than Australia. Beth, on the other hand, was here—right in front of him. Available and ready for a commitment.
In the tenth frame, Beth landed another two strikes, making her the official winner. She glanced meaningfully at the scoreboard and then flashed Devon a “Well, what are you waiting for?” look. He followed her gaze to the group of teenagers.
Crap. The bet. Would Beth really make him do it? Yes. Beth had never been one to let him off the hook. Groaning, Devon picked up his ball and sauntered to a girl who was just about to bowl.
“Hey, do you mind if I have a go?” he asked.
The girl paused. “Are you talking to me?”
“Yeah. I’ve been eyeing your lane all night. The floor looks smoother and faster, and since I have a sort of fetish about which lanes I’ll bowl on, I wanted to try it out.” The look on the girl’s face made Devon feel like he’d grown two heads. He struggled to keep a straight face. “Please? If I promise to get a strike for you?”
“Uh, sure . . .” She stepped aside. “You better get a strike though.”
“No problem.” Devon lined up, ignoring the muffled laughter of her friends. A few steps forward and he launched the ball down the lane. Pins went flying—all but two. A 7-10 split.
Woops.
The girl glared. “Thanks a lot.”
“Uh, sorry about that. I guess this lane isn’t so great after all. Thanks anyway, though, and good luck with that.” Devon nodded toward the pins as he walked away.
Beth greeted him with giggles. “That was priceless.”
“I’m glad you think so.” He could still feel the girl’s glare burning into his back. “Time to go, Ryan.”
“But I want to p
lay another game,” he whined.
“Sorry, but other people are waiting to use the lane, so we need to go.”
“I don’t want to go!” Arms crossed, Ryan stomped his foot.
No. Not a tantrum. Not now. “How about we stop for dessert on the way home instead?”
Ryan appeared mollified until Beth said, “No, Devon. Ryan doesn’t get rewarded if he whines or cries.”
Ryan’s face crumpled, and his words came out as a half-cry, half-whine, “But I want dessert!”
“We don’t get what we want when we cry and whine,” Beth repeated. “Now come on. It’s time to go.”
Ryan’s cries escalated, and Devon felt the stirrings of a headache. Maybe Beth was right—maybe he shouldn’t have bribed Ryan, but the boy was only four. Could he really be expected not to whine when he wanted to keep bowling? And why did Beth feel the need to take over? She might as well have said, “Devon, you obviously don’t know what you’re doing.” Why couldn’t she just stand back and let Devon handle things his own way?
Stella would have.
Ahhhh! He needed to stop comparing them.
Sighing, Devon picked up a screaming, wriggly boy. After fighting to get him buckled into the car, Ryan wailed during most of the ride home. By the time they pulled into the complex’s parking lot though, he’d fallen asleep. Thank goodness.
“You don’t need to come up with us,” Devon said when Beth turned off the engine. “I’m sure you’re tired and want to get home.”
“Oh . . . yeah, thanks. I guess I’ll see you in the morning then?” She looked disappointed.
“Thanks, Beth. Tonight was fun.”
She leaned over and brushed her lips across Devon’s. When she backed away, worry lines creased her brow before she masked it with a smile. “See you tomorrow.”
Chapter Sixteen
Devon drove into his parking space in the underground lot of his apartment and stretched his neck from side to side. It was late, dark, and cold outside, but winter was nearly over and the brief moments of sunshine reminded him that spring was on its way. He left the engine running and picked up his phone.
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