“Bitch,” he murmured.
She always loved roses—white ones. It had been his thing, back when they were together, back when he forced himself to stay while she retched and whined through treatment. The first time he’d laid eyes on her he knew she was the one.
Back then, Kate had been so trusting. All innocence and wonder. She’d chased his demons away, and for once in his miserable life he’d lived like a normal man. No voices telling him to do unspeakable things to unsuspecting women. For two entire years, she was the gatekeeper of his humanity.
He’d taken good care of her, and now that she was well, she owed it to him to come home where she belonged. If she was back in his life, the voices would disappear. The provoking urges would recede, and he could resume the life he craved.
He had to convince her to take him back. She belonged to him, belonged with him. Somehow he had to make her understand how much he needed her. She’d loved him once; he could make her forget this Montgomery interloper and love him again.
Everything was ready, just the way she liked it. The same linens, pictures, china. He’d even duplicated the furniture. He wanted her to feel at home when he brought her there. Wanted to go back in time. Then, she’d remember how wonderful it all was.
Our home. Yours and mine, sweet Kate.
He’d make her happy, and she’d agree to stay. They’d be together again…forever.
Clark strained to see through the dark night. The light in her condo went out. The light next door went on. Her blind hero to the rescue.
Bile rose in his throat, and a red rage coursed through him. He knew all about Mr. Charles Kendall Montgomery. His service record, his job, and his sweet little daughter, Suzanna. His weak spot. The child. No father could bear to see his child threatened. If Kate refused him again, he’d offer the life of the little girl as incentive. Her heart soft, Kate would never allow him to hurt the girl. Nor would her father.
What Kate saw in the man was beyond him. And that couldn’t be allowed. It wasn’t Clark’s fault father and daughter must be dealt with. It was all on Montgomery for setting his sights on Kate in the first place.
If he ended his so-called relationship with his Kate, Clark wouldn’t harm the child or the hero. If not…
What must be done would be done. One way or the other, Kate would be his once again.
****
Kate swallowed the remnants of a second slice—if the gargantuan serving could be called a slice—of pizza. It was delicious. Cash packed in two to her one, and Suzanna, whose eyes were bigger than her tummy, struggled to finish her portion. Kate foresaw many nights of leftovers in their future.
They’d ordered plain cheese for Suze and loaded for him and Kate. After two delicious slices and a half-bottle of Chianti, she began to relax. The tensions of the day faded with the wine. Suzanna’s bright conversation kept the mood light.
“Suze, you can relax,” Kate assured her. “I’m going to be fine—don’t worry, and don’t work so hard to cheer me up. I’m good. I promise.”
“Then I can go do my homework?”
Cash laughed and nuggied her head. “Hit the books, munchkin. Kate and I are going to listen to some music and talk. I’ll be in to tuck you in later.”
Suzanna hugged and kissed her dad. To Kate’s surprise, she did the same to her with a tiny bit of extra pressure.
“Night.”
“Night, sweetie.” Kate smiled. Such a precious girl, Suzanna. Easy to love.
That word again…Love.
Leftover pizza in plastic containers, dishes in the dishwasher, Cash settled Kate on the sofa and put on some music. Allison Chandler style.
“Have you heard from Ms. Chandler about the concert?” Kate asked, sipping on the Chianti.
“As a matter of fact, I did. It’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about tonight. She’s headed to New York the end of April. Planned on stopping here anyway, one night only, and is happy to perform anything you’d like. She’s the best, Kate. You want a formal evening, she’ll play classical. You want casual, she’ll do contemporary, Broadway, your choice.”
“What do you think? My inclination is to let her determine the program. Depends on the venue, I suppose. The Strand might be available now that the renovation is complete. It’s this big old theatre downtown. Lots of room, great acoustics, baroque design in gold leaf, with red velvet curtains lining the stage. Very formal and elegant. Or we could have it outdoors, a raised stage under the stars. Stars of Hope. Too many star references?”
Cash considered. “Nope. Got any ideas for a suitable outdoor venue?”
Kate sat up, “I do. Peachtree Park would be fantastic. The area around the fountain? Or maybe the fountain would compete too much with the music.” She chewed her lip. “I know. River Stadium. It stands right on the river—they hold concerts there all the time. If it isn’t booked, it would be perfect.”
“Seat a lot of people?” he asked.
“Around four thousand. You pitched a small, intimate performance. Do you think Allison would object to a change in plans? We could raise so much money. Maybe even underwrite all four of the finalists.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like she isn’t accustomed to performing for large crowds. As long as all she has to do is get off the plane, get to the stadium, and play, I don’t see a problem. Let me see what I can do. There’s a lot of attention on vets right now—and a lot of vets coming home. If the VA can lean on the city…”
“Do you think they would?”
“Did I tell you what I do for a living? Since ‘they’ is me; ‘they’ would. I’ll get on it in the morning. If necessary, I can attend the city council meeting this Tuesday. Apply a little pressure. I should think having a world-class artist, with the publicity surrounding her appearances, would be a powerful inducement.”
Cash turned on the music and came to sit close, his arm on the back of the sofa, the heat of his body encompassing her. His scent filling her nostrils. The strength of his presence exciting and comforting at the same time.
As she sat beside him, he poured her another glass of wine and waited while she took a sip. She smiled her thanks, her mind fractured in a thousand directions. So many things to do. So many things to resolve. The problem with Clark, the students counting on her to help them with tuition, the concert, Cash and their relationship.
The word slipped right in there and burrowed deep. She’d probably spent more time with him in their short acquaintance than she had with Clark throughout their entire engagement. Friends? Lovers? The idea there was more to them spread a warm, gentle glow inside her. Brought a smile to her face.
Not accustomed to drinking that much wine at one sitting, Kate squinted with the woozies. When she leaned heavily into his side, he chuckled, arms automatically drawing her close, chin resting on the top of her head.
“You’re too easy, lady. Two drinks, and I could have my way with you.”
Her head drifted up, and she let her gaze take in his handsome features. After the events of the day, with the invasion of her apartment, staring at Cash was a welcome diversion. Like water pouring from a gushing dam, the tension flowed from her body as she listened to the night music.
That strong jaw with a day’s stubble. Hmm. The clean smell of his laundered shirt. Those blue eyes, firm lips, strong white teeth… She squinted as he went in and out of focus, and she giggled softly. Oh, yeah. She’d reached her limit of wine.
“You could’ve had your way with me long before you served me this fine Chianti.” Geez. Had she really said that? Oh, well. No guts, no glory, right?
He threw back his head and laughed. “Nice to know.”
Kate licked her lips, her tongue lingering on the taste. Her mouth opened in invitation as his head bent, hovered just above her lips, and he licked.
“Want to make out?” he grinned, and her breath caught, her eyes closed in surrender.
Kate touched his lips gently with hers. “Oh, yeah, but what about Suzanna?”
/>
“Damn.” he mumbled, and hauled her off the sofa. “Come on. It’s been a long day. You take my room. I’ll sleep out here.”
“No,” she objected, more than a little disappointed a make-out session wasn’t on the playbill. “That’s not right. You’re a big man. You need space, and I can rest more comfortably on the sofa than you. Keep your bed. All I need is a pillow and blanket. Believe me, I’ll sleep tonight.”
“Not a chance.”
“Really. I’ll be quite comfortable out here.”
“If it weren’t for Suzanna…”
“Shh. Pillow. Blanket. Maybe a turn in the shower,” Kate insisted.
Cash groaned low. “For the first time since she was born, I wish I didn’t have a child in this house. You in my shower?” He dropped a quick, hot kiss on her mouth. “Jesus, Kate. The thought is enough to drive me crazy.”
She grinned, liking the idea of driving him crazy.
Liking it a lot.
He glanced at his daughter’s door, and with one swift move, he had her in his arms, pressed against her soft curves, his arousal growing hard between them.
“Soon,” he promised, as he buried his face against the side of her neck, and ground his hips into hers.
Suzanna’s door opened and, in an instant, they sprang apart. Busted.
Kate glanced over Cash’s shoulder and captured Susanna’s reaction. Her father may have been unable to see the look on his daughter’s face, but Kate could. The kid was grinning from ear to ear. A little pink colored her cheeks, but seeing them together didn’t throw her. On the contrary, she appeared delighted.
“Umm…sorry,” she mumbled. “Thought Kate might want to use my bathroom. I wiped up and put out clean towels.”
“Thanks, Suze. I’ll be right there.” She squeezed Cash’s arm, and followed the girl through the hall.
It may have been the stress of the day, or the wine, or simply that it was time and she finally realized it. Of one thing she was certain.
She was through running.
Ready to start living again.
Chapter Fifteen
Kate turned the shower to scald and stood beneath the waterfall until the heat gave out and her strength was sapped. Cleaning up, she wrapped the towel around her body, brushed her teeth, and moisturized. For the first time since she could remember, her gaze hadn’t traveled to the scars on her breast. They were simply there. A part of her past. A part of her.
All because of the man in the other room.
She combed the knots from her hair and donned her gown and robe. The apartment was quiet—a night light illuminated the floor to the living room. Cash, always considerate, had made up the couch, and it beckoned for a welcome rest. A hard day—an awful day.
Stop thinking about it.
The confrontation with Clark, those awful flowers. The knife left behind. The blood. Whose blood? And why? What did it mean? She didn’t know him anymore—couldn’t fathom his thinking process. He simply wasn’t the same man she’d thought she knew.
Snuggled into the soft cushions, Kate pulled the pillow under her head and kicked the cover over her foot. Her mind refused to shut down and spun like a carousel as events whirled in her brain and everything began to blur. Exhaling a long sigh, she burrowed into the soft cushions of Cash’s sofa, uttered an audible “hmm,” and closed her eyes.
Sounds of something big, strong, and handsome approaching made her smile.
“I came to tuck you in,” Big-strong-and-handsome rumbled in a sleepy voice.
Kate’s eyes popped open to see knees clothed in Campbell-plaid flannel, traveled up over muscular thighs, halted in appreciation of a growing bulge behind a gaping placket, and landed on a torso that belonged on the cover of a fitness magazine.
“You’re tucking me in dressed like that?” she squeaked.
“Yeah, and you should be glad. I usually sleep in my briefs.”
“Tease,” she replied as he dropped beside her.
“Not a tease—a taste of things to come. Now give me a goodnight kiss. We have a big day tomorrow.”
She lifted her head as he lowered his. As goodnight kisses go, theirs lasted a long, long time before Cash murmured, “Good night,” went back to his bed.
As she closed her eyes and forced her brain to slow, and just as the first tentative level of sleep crept upon her, a small voice sounded in her ear, and her eyes popped open.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Suzanna whispered, kneeling by the sofa, inches from Kate’s face.
“Suzanna? You all right? What are you doing out of bed, sweetheart?”
“I’m not scared, if that’s what you mean.”
Bravado? Or was she missing her mother? How hard must it be to be a preteen, with so many changes going on in her body and in her life, and have to face them without a mother.
“And you don’t have to be scared, either. My dad won’t let anything happen to me or you. If he says he’ll take care of us, he will. You have to believe in him. He’s smart and strong, and his eyes are getting better all the time. The doctors said they would, but I don’t think he believed them.” Suze stared intently into Kate’s face.
The girl wasn’t leaving, so Kate held up the covers in invitation, and Suzanna cuddled her small frame close. Her back to Kate’s front, she burrowed.
“Warm enough?” Kate asked.
Suzanna nodded, exhaling a faint sigh. “This is nice. I like you, Kate. I like having you here.”
“I like you, too, sweetheart,” Kate replied, her hand gentle, stroking through the long, auburn tresses. After a while, she asked, “Do you want to tell me what’s on your mind?”
Suzanna squirmed a bit, rooting close. “Sometimes…sometimes, I miss my mom,” she whispered, her voice thick.
Kate’s hand hesitated. That’s what this was about. She’d been thinking of her mother and, probably, Kate’s insertion into the family dynamic as a mother figure.
Moms were important to everyone; to a young girl growing up without one, even more so. Compassion for Cash’s daughter filled her heart. Kate missed her own mom more each year, something else she had in common with Suzanna.
“I’ll bet you do, Suze. My mom died when I was eighteen—a long time ago—and I still miss her. At first I hurt a lot, but eventually I began to remember all the good times we shared. At some point, after the pain fades, the people we lose become a part of us. Not like before, when we could see them and touch them, but deep inside us where no one else can be. Your mother’s love will always be inside you.”
“Do you think people see us? From heaven, I mean. When they die?” she asked.
“Honey, I wish I could answer your question, but the truth is, I simply don’t know. What I do know is that your mother loved you with all her heart. She would have wanted you to be healthy and happy, and have all your dreams come true. And she would have been so proud of the young woman you’ve become.”
After a long while, Suzanna snuggled closer and linked her fingers through Kate’s. “What I know is that my mom would have loved you. If she was alive, you and she would be friends.”
“If your mom was anything like you, I’d love her. And nothing would make me happier than for your family to be together the way you and your dad always wanted it to be. But we don’t get to make those choices. We work with what life throws our way, and do the best we can. I don’t want to take your mom’s place, Suze. I just want to be your friend. No matter what happens between your dad and me, I’ll always be your friend. If you need me, all you have to do is call, and I’m there for you, okay?”
The girl yawned, and her body relaxed. “Okay.”
Had she said the right things to put Suzanna’s mind at ease? With kids, who knew? It wasn’t as if she had a lot of experience with children, but friendship was always a good thing.
The night faded away. For all the bad in the day, the warmth and love of this little girl made it end in peace. She let it all go, and slept.
****
What he saw warmed his heart and fisted his gut. Kate, with her arms around his daughter. Sheltering. Comforting. Reassuring. Suzanna, peacefully cocooned next to a woman he was coming to love. Their whispered confidences, like a mother with a daughter, reached his ears. Beautiful.
More than any other time since the injury, he wished he could see. See every single detail of the scene before him. He wanted to drink in every nuance, absorb every expression, imprint his consciousness, and keep it close, tucked where he’d never forget, never let go.
Arms crossed over his chest, he leaned against the doorjamb and listened. His two girls—just the way it should be. A lump formed in his throat as they whispered to each other, as Kate reassured his daughter about Rayanne’s love. And Suzanna was right on the mark. Rayanne would have loved Kate.
A warmth enveloped him as his dead wife’s voice echoed in his soul. She’s the right one. The one for you and Suze. He felt the same blessing and peace he’d felt when Ray was alive. Like getting her permission to move on—to love again. He closed his eyes in gratitude. Ray was in a good place. Safe and happy. She’d want the same for Suzanna and him.
He was falling for Katherine Sanders. Falling? Hell, he was done. One night with her and the deal was sealed. His decision was made. All he had to do was hear her voice, or catch a whiff of her scent, and his body craved her. Even now, he grew aroused thinking of the firmness of her body, clothed in soft skin and womanly curves. How their bodies fit perfectly together as they made love.
She was the one who needed more time.
Sure, he was ready for a relationship when they met. He wanted a wife, a good mother for Suzanna. But Kate? She was more than he’d dreamed, more than he deserved. But he wanted her; he was sure of it. For him, the decision was made. For her? Issues. A few challenges. Some worries.
Even though she’d let down her guard, body issues plagued her. She needed someone loving her, building her self-confidence through appreciative words and actions. Damn, if he couldn’t do that… He wanted to take her to his bed and love the fear out of her and make her world right again.
A Little Night Music Page 15