by Jami Denise
"A couple weeks? I'm not sure," I answered. "A week ago Royal ran into her, and that's all I know."
"Okay, so why did she end up in my house, at my party?"
I took a deep breath. Not only was it humiliating for me, but now we’d brought my friends and family into the situation.
"My husband is an insensitive asshole, that's why. He came home and expected me to be happy about her being back in town. Idiot.”
She gave me a reassuring smile and scooted her chair closer to mine. "Jenna, you have nothing to worry about. Roy would never betray you—I know this, you know this. We all do. He loves you and the kids. He can be a real dick, but he’d never do anything to jeopardize his family."
I shook my head and snorted. "Some days, I'm not too sure.”
“You need to be sure. That’s the truth,” she said.
"All right. I'm sick of this. My husband's being a jerk; he's been a jerk for years. He's just gotten better at it, I guess." I laughed. It wasn't meant to be humorous, and they knew it, but they also knew I was done talking about it.
"Here, here," Abbie said, handing each of us a shot glass. "To strong women and the idiots we end up with," she said.
"Cheers," we said in unison, clanking our glasses together and throwing our heads back as we drained them.
A few minutes later, Royal came back into the room, calmer but still upset.
"I'm sorry, Jenna." he said softly.
I closed my eyes and nodded, but I couldn't look at him. I was mad, hurt, and confused. Hearing about Lana and seeing her were two different things. Just thinking about her sitting in the same car as him—sharing the tight space—was too much. I didn’t trust her or her intentions. The way she looked at me when she walked in hadn't gone unnoticed. She was a threat.
However, I was no longer the naïve, love-struck girl she knew years ago. I was a woman, a wife, and a mother. I'd been through hell and back, and my family meant everything to me. Nothing in the world mattered more than their health, safety, and happiness, and I'd be damned if I let anyone disturb our unit. Royal and I had things to work on, but he was mine. I loved him. My talons were officially out and ready to rip her eyes out.
“We’ll talk when I get back. It won’t take me long.” He kissed the top of my head before grabbing his keys and walking out of the room. Moments later, Macy walked in, her face determined and her eyes full of hurt.
“I’m going to go with Daddy. I’ll be back.”
Tara, Abbie, and I watched her walk out and then looked around the table at each other, concerned.
“She’s a smart girl, Jenna. She’s only trying to protect you. Both of you.”
I hated my daughter being put in that position. Anger welled up again, and I couldn’t tamp it down. I grabbed the bottle from across the table, filled my shot glass again, and downed another shot.
I wanted to tell Macy there was nothing to worry about, but that was a lie. Royal and I were teetering on a rickety step. Our bond was fractured, and that tiny fissure allowed for disease to invade. Lana was that disease—a virus ready to plague my life and family, and my heart couldn’t take it. Something had to be done; I just wasn’t sure what that was.
* * *
When they got back, Macy was quiet, but she didn’t say anything more about it. Royal came back with a renewed attitude and was attentive and sweet. The tension had dissipated a little, probably due to the alcohol, but I was still angry.
Him? It was either guilt or booze that had him giving me that attention, but I didn’t care. I was desperate for his damn attention. I craved it. Yearned for it.
After we tucked the kids in for the night, we showed our love in a way he hadn’t in longer than I could remember. There was no hesitation, no performance issues, nothing but the love I’d wanted and needed from him. The way he filled me, and the way his bare chest pressed against mine when he moved inside of me was everything. The sounds that filled our room, the room we’d loved, fought, and held each other in for so many years brought a sense of relief I couldn’t express.
The same fire that burned inside of me the first time his eyes blazed into mine was fresh and new with hope for us.
Chapter 6
After the incident at Tara’s party, things were good for a few days. He’d talked to me about my concerns with Lana, and I was sure we were on a better track. Sex was better, tension was gone, and things seemed like they were going back to normal.
Eventually, that faded, and we were back in the same funk. It wasn’t nearly as bad, but it wasn’t great either.
After a rather heated argument one night, I woke up the next morning ready to put the silent treatment bullshit he’d left the house with to rest. We had the kids to think about. That was getting us nowhere.
Since I had the day off, I decided to surprise him at work—something I hadn’t done in years. We used to do it often, and I missed it. It was nice spending the afternoon being Royal and Jenna instead of parents. We spent those lunches touching and flirting like lovers and friends, and it was part of what had been missing in our marriage and something we desperately needed to find again.
I showed up at the work site just before noon in a brand-new outfit and attitude. I wasn’t sure I could pull off the skirt until I started walking across the lot and heard the cat calls and wolf whistles.
"Holy shit, check out the MILF," a younger guy called out.
I giggled. MILF my ass. I didn’t know if that was supposed to be a compliment or not, but I was steering toward probably.
"Oh, I'm checking her out. Wonder who she is?" another guy piped in.
Oh, they were flattering, for sure, but I only had eyes for the man standing between them, looking both amused and surprised to see me there.
"That, youngsters, is my wife," he said proudly.
"Damn, boss," the younger one said, clucking his tongue. "You've got skills."
Royal shook his head and smirked. "Just luck, son. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see what brings my beautiful wife here to see me."
He walked toward me with a satisfied smirk on his face and a gleam in his eye that told me his thoughts were going in the same direction as mine. Dirty thoughts, like being bent over his desk with my skirt up around my waist.
I flushed and ducked my head as he approached, feeling a little naughty about my intentions.
"Hey, you," he said, pulling me into his arms and kissing the top of my head. "What brings you up here? Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine. I... um..." I stuttered, shaking my head.
I was so nervous. This was my husband. I had no reason to be anxious, but I was. Terribly.
It was time to bite the bullet.
"I brought you lunch. I thought it’d be nice to eat together. We haven’t done that for a long time.” I held up a small white bag and gave it a shake.
I was being forward and flirty, and I could see he was dubious of my motives. The shaky foundation of our marriage had become such a tangible thing, and yet, we’d completely avoided it. The tippy toe conversations had to stop. I didn’t know what he needed or wanted from me, and frankly, I wasn’t even sure I knew what I needed in return.
He smiled down at me and nodded. "I like that idea. Come on,” he said, grabbing my hand and leading me toward the trailer. "You look great today. Since when do you wear skirts to work?" he asked.
It didn’t escape my attention that his eyes lingered a little longer on my bare legs. All trepidation about my outfit went out the window.
"Thanks. I took the day off so I could spend the afternoon with you."
His smile grew. "I'm glad you did. This is a nice surprise."
We walked up the steps to the office, and he held the door open for me to go inside. "After you."
"Jen!" Abbie yelled, smiling as she got up and walked around the desk to greet me. "What are you doing all the way over here? You look cute!"
I blushed and looked over at Royal from the corner of my eye. "I wanted to have lunc
h with my husband. You think you can spare him for a little while?"
Abbie gave me a sly smile and nodded. "Of course. I'm going to get out of here and let you guys enjoy. I'll be back around one or so." She gave me a small wink as she grabbed her purse and exited the trailer.
Royal cleared his throat and leaned against the desk.
"So, what'd you bring me to eat?" He reached for the bag to sneak a peek, but I pulled it back playfully.
"Let's go inside your office first." I smiled sweetly and turned toward the office, looking over my shoulder at him.
He seemed to like the direction things were going and chuckled from behind me. Once we were inside his small office, he pounced, pushing me against the desk and kissed me like he only had a day to live.
He grinded his hips into my belly, and I groaned. It felt so good, better than it had in forever. When he grabbed underneath my legs to lift me onto the desk, he growled when he realized what I was wearing under my skirt.
Nothing.
His kiss became more insistent, and his hands travelled from one end of me to the other. From my breasts to my hips and around to my ass. I leaned back to give him a better view, feeling more confident and sexy with every little moan that left his lips.
It was thrilling being in his office, spread out and knowing anyone could walk in at any time and catch us. It reminded me of the way things used to be when we’d take advantage of every second we could to be together—no matter the consequences.
"I want to see you," he said, his voice husky with need.
The roughness in his voice turned me on. I raised my leg, my eyes firmly on his and settled my foot on the edge of the desk. I lifted my skirt a few inches, just enough to give him a tease of what was underneath.
I felt invigorated by my brazen behavior. He was my husband for God’s sake. Realizing how long it’d been since we’d been playful and flirty made me cringe. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was the job, the kids, and the God damn house... it never ended. All I knew was that losing the connection was the most detrimental thing in my life. I never felt more whole than I did with Royal. We were more than a team—we were a force. An entity I never imagined I’d have to fight for.
"Where are you hiding my wife, you little vixen," he teased.
His words were like a pitcher of ice cold water over my head. My smile was all but gone. I felt so silly, like an idiot. What was I trying to prove? It would never work. I wasn’t cut out to seduce him into wanting me, and the saddest part was that I shouldn’t have had to do it in the first place. If he didn’t want me the way I was, pretending to be something different wouldn’t help anything.
I started covering myself up, but I couldn’t look at him. He reached out, grabbed my chin and leaned down so I would look at him. His eyes were full of regret, and that made me feel worse.
"Hey..." he said softly. “Don’t do that. I was only playing with you. You're beautiful, Jenna."
I gave him a small smile, but we both knew the moment was over. He pulled me into his arms and then fell back in his chair taking me with him. His arms wrapped around me and he held me firmly in his lap and brushed his knuckles over my cheek.
I was humiliated. I had no business trying to play the temptress. In fact, I’d never been much of a flirt. I’d never had to. Royal had the charm, he’d spoiled me with his affection from day one, and I’d never had to work to keep it. It was always there, from the very beginning. Somewhere along the way, it disappeared.
He started playing with my hair, and I hummed. It always calmed me down, grounded me. It was one of the things that made me fall in love with him. It was so tender and genuine the way he’d pet my hair, running the strands through his fingers like it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever touched.
He kissed me slowly and softly, and I knew it was an apology. It was bittersweet—he hadn’t meant to, but he was sorry nonetheless. After kissing for a while, things were a little better, and we fell into a comfortable place again.
"We better eat,” I said quietly. "I brought you Philly cheese steak, and it's probably cold."
He gave me a huge smile and my stomach leapt. It was his favorite, so at least that hadn’t been ruined.
"I could smell it when we came in. Did you get it from Al's?" he asked.
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Is there anywhere else? Of course I did. Only the best for my man.”
I jumped off his lap, and like the past twenty minutes never happened, things were back to a normal, steady place.
"Well, let's get you fed. I still have to pick up Benji from school, so..."
"Let's eat. You went to all this trouble, and it smells so good."
We ate, talking about the kids, and tried to make some plans for Laney's graduation. It seemed unreal that my baby girl was already going to high school. It just didn’t seem possible. Soon, they’d all be grown and gone.
That terrified me.
When it was time to leave, an unreal ache in my chest emerged. Even with my neurotic blip over his vixen comment, the date had been amazing. Better than I could have hoped for. It just wasn’t enough. Sadly, he was so busy that even if I’d suggested we prolong it, there was no way that was happening. All the little pieces of him were spread so thin. At least my attempt to steal a bit of it turned out okay.
He kissed me again when we stepped outside, and I could tell he was putting in a little extra effort for the guys standing around watching us. I didn’t care one bit. It was flattering, and I needed a little flattery.
Maybe the day hadn’t been a loss after all. There was always the evening to come.
Chapter 7
"Jenna?" Tara snapped her fingers in front of my face, trying to get my attention.
I shook my head to clear the gaggle of thoughts and rolled my eyes. I felt stupid, and not for the first time that day. I’d been in a perpetual daydream all week, and it was just getting worse and worse.
“Sorry, what were you saying?”
“Salad. Do you want one? I’m going to pick up lunch while I’m out.”
“Out?” I asked stupidly.
“Uh, Jen. Trash bags and laundry soap. Second time I’ve said it. What the heck, girl? You’re getting on my nerves. You’ve been weird all week. Is this about Royal?”
I had been weird—I felt weird. Everything was off balance and teetering on dysfunctional. Things were out of control, and that wasn’t something I liked. At. All.
"Sure. Spicy chicken salad with ranch and a diet coke. Here, let me grab you some cash." I turned away quickly, ignoring the look she gave me, and grabbed my purse from behind the counter.
"Jenna..." she started, hands on her hips and eyebrow cocked. “We’re going to talk when I get back. We don't have any customers until after two, so we're talking. Know that."
I sighed, pulled the rubber band from my ponytail, and shook out my hair. "It’s nothing. Really, Tara. I’m just tired and in a really bad mood. The girls had friends over and they kept me up. That’s it.”
She grabbed her purse, shoved the money I'd placed on the counter toward me, and pointed her finger in my face. "Not gonna happen. Besides, I have things I need to talk to you about, too. We'll have a nice long talk. Don't make me get Abbie involved."
"Fine."
The last thing I needed was Abbie to get on my ass.
She left without another word, and I got back to work. I was off for the next two days, so I needed to get things straightened up before I left. I was usually good about cleaning up as I worked, but lately, I'd leave everything until the last minute. I hated when things were out of place and dirty, so if I could at least make my workplace Zen, I’d manage to deal with the rest of my life.
I wiped down the stations, swept, mopped and cleaned the back room. The other stylist that worked with us, Melissa, was just finishing up with a client, so I restocked supplies while she took her payment and walked her out.
When the lady left the salon, she flipped the sign to closed and flopped dow
n in one of the comfy couches in the waiting area.
"How long do you think Tara will be? I'm starving."
I glanced at my watch. "She should be here any minute." I took a seat and smiled at her. "You look cute today. Got a hot date or something?" I teased.
She rolled her eyes and shifted in her seat. "Not exactly. I'm going out with this guy I met online.”
Melissa was young, and I always felt very protective of her. She was a little wild which was normal for a twenty-something year old girl, but sometimes she worried me.
“Melissa,” I sighed, shaking my head.
She held up her hand and shook her head. "Don't. Don't say it, okay. We’re meeting at a coffee place—totally safe. I’ll be fine.”
"Have you thought about meeting someone the normal way? I told you about that guy that works for Royal. He’s about your age, good looking, works hard. He’s nice. You deserve better than a booty call, Melissa.”
“No offense, Jenna, but I’m not interested in a relationship to be honest. Everyone I know in a relationship is miserable.”
I flinched. Even she could see what I was going through. As if I wasn’t humiliated enough, now everyone knew how screwed up things were at home.
“I understand,” I told her. “I’m just looking out for you.”
“I know,” she said, smiling. “I love you for it. I’ll be careful, don’t worry.” She got up and patted the legs of her pants. “I’ll be out in a sec. I need to clean up a bit.”
Thankfully, moments later Tara walked in, arms full of food and a big smile on her face. “I’m back, ladies! Are you ready for food?”
I was ready, and I was grateful the awkward moment with Melissa was over. The stone in my gut felt heavy, but I knew with Tara’s return also brought the dreaded talk she wanted to have.
"So, what’s going on with you and hubby? Are you still fighting?" She pressed her thumb in her mouth, gnawing away at her cuticles the way she always did when she was nervous.
"Some improvements, but you know how he is. He’s not exactly talkative. I’m just taking it day by day."