by Beth Wiseman
She nodded and handed her husband his drink. After giving Josiah one last smile, she left the room.
Josiah took a long swallow of the perfectly sweetened tea, letting the cold liquid slide down his throat. John leaned forward, his eyes filled with intensity. “I guess you got my letter?”
“Ya. It came a couple weeks ago.”
“When did you get back?”
“Last night.”
“Took me awhile to find you, Josiah. We haven’t heard from you since you left. I suppose there’s a gut reason for that.”
Josiah nodded but didn’t say anything. He had his reasons for not contacting anyone after leaving Paradise, reasons he wouldn’t share with anyone, not even his uncle.
“There’s been a couple people interested in the property. David Graber mentioned a real estate agent snooping around a few months back, asking questions about it. As I’m sure you know already, it’s a sight. David tried to keep up with it, but it became too much for him after a while. He has his own family and property to mind first, and I haven’t had much of a chance to go over there like I wanted.”
“I appreciate David’s help,” Josiah said. “And I’m glad you contacted me. To be honest, I hadn’t thought about the house in a long time.”
John removed his straw hat and placed it on the table, revealing his salt-and-pepper hair, molded in the shape of the crown of his hat. “What did your daed say about you coming back here?”
“He passed away two years ago.”
“Ach, Josiah.” John sounded distressed. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Josiah stared at his hands cupping the glass. “Danki,” he said, his voice barely audible.
“What happened?”
“Got sick. How do I get in touch with the folks interested in the house?”
John hesitated, then finally said, “David might know the name of the realty company. You could ask him. You could probably sell it as is, but I thought you might want the opportunity to get what the house and land are worth. If it’s your intent to sell.”
“It is.”
“All right. If you need any help, let me know. If I can’t be there, I’ll send Peter.”
“I’m fine. I’m not afraid of a little work.”
“A little?” John shook his head, letting out a chuckle. “I’d say a little is a huge understatement. But then again, you always were a hard worker. Dependable, always did a gut job for me when you helped out here in the shop.”
Josiah warmed at the compliment. It had been so long since someone in his family had given him one. “I appreciated the opportunities you gave me to work here.”
John nodded. “Do you need any money, Josiah? To help pay for materials?”
“I’m gut. I have all the money I need.”
“How about a place to stay, then? We have plenty of room here. Can’t imagine that place is fit to sleep in.”
“It’s not that bad,” Josiah said. “Really, I’m fine.”
“Well, if you need anything, let me know.” He clapped Josiah on the shoulder. “We’re family, sohn. Sometimes that’s the only thing you can depend on.”
Josiah nodded, but he didn’t share his uncle’s view. If anything, family was the last thing he could depend on.
Amanda sprinkled powdered sugar over the pan of brownies she had baked earlier that day. She slid a sharp knife through the soft, chocolatey dessert, cutting it into even portions. Putting four pieces on a plate, she covered them with plastic wrap and placed the dish on the counter, then she walked over to the kitchen window and peered outside. From here she had a good view of Josiah’s house. Dusk had arrived, and he still hadn’t returned.
Through the window screen she could hear her family laughing and playing outside. Her daed had come home from work early and was outside with the rest of the children, playing a game of catch with the boys while the girls played on the swing set. Her mamm sat on a chair and watched the ruckus while she knitted a small, pale yellow cap for the baby. Taking advantage of the evening, the entire family had enjoyed a simple picnic outside with turkey sandwiches, homemade sweet pickles, and potato salad.
Taking one more glance at Josiah’s house, she stepped away from the window. After covering the rest of the brownies, she quickly washed the dishes. She had hoped Josiah would be back by now. All day she had looked forward to his coming home so they could talk. They had ten years of conversation to catch up on. But as the hours passed, her disappointment and frustration grew. To be honest, her pride was a bit pricked as well. Maybe he wasn’t as eager to catch up on things as she was.
After she dried the last dish and put it away, she wiped down the counters, intending to join her family outside. It was a beautiful evening, although slightly cool. She slipped on her sweater but decided not to wear shoes, anticipating the feel of the soft earth and cool grass between her toes.
Suddenly she heard the sound of a buggy approaching. Peering out the window again, her grin grew to full size. Josiah. He’d finally come home. She picked up the plate of four brownies and walked outside toward his house.
“Amanda!” From her seat in a white plastic lawn chair, Katharine motioned for her daughter to come toward her. When Amanda reached her, she asked, “Where are you going?”
“To take Josiah some of the brownies I made earlier.” She held up the plate.
“But he just got home. Maybe you should wait until tomorrow?”
Amanda frowned. “I won’t be gone long, Mamm. I’m sure he would appreciate the treat.”
“Is that the only reason you’re going over there?”
“What other reason would there be?”
Mamm tilted her head. “To be nosy?”
Amanda sighed at her mother’s knowing look. “Aren’t you the least bit curious as to what he’s been doing all this time? Where he moved to? How his father is doing?”
Her mother’s expression grew serious. “Sometimes it’s best to let things be, Amanda. If Josiah wants you to know those things, he’ll tell you. On his own.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know you, Amanda Marie. And while you mean well, sometimes you can push too hard.”
“Mamm, I’m just going to take him some brownies, not give him the third degree.”
Katharine gave her a weary smile. “All right. Then you’d better get on over there, if you’re going to go.”
Amanda nodded and turned. This wasn’t the first time she’d been told she could be too pushy. It was a flaw she worked to correct, with varying degrees of success.
She strode over to the Bontragers’ barn, the small rocks and dirt clods on the driveway poking into the bare soles of her feet. Josiah had his back to her as he unhitched his horse, the sleeves of his pale blue shirt rolled up a few inches above his elbows. His movements were efficient, and she could hear him speaking in low tones to the horse as he took a moment to stroke her nose. She approached him quietly so as not to disturb the horse, then tapped him on the shoulder.
He jumped and spun around, nearly dropping the horse’s reins. “Amanda! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
Amanda opened her mouth to speak, but the words fled her lips. She had thought him good-looking in the dim light of the barn last night and at a distance this morning, but now that she stood close to him, in the full light of evening, he was twice as handsome. His yellow straw hat was positioned low over his forehead, the brim shading his eyes but not obscuring them. She didn’t remember their being that bright shade of green, a lighter shade than the grass tickling her toes. His tan face had a dark shadow of whiskers above his lip and on his jaw.
“Did you need something, Amanda?”
His impatient tone startled her. She looked up into his eyes again, which were flat, almost lifeless. An ache appeared in her chest. She had never seen anyone look so . . . empty.
“Here,” she said, holding out the plate of brownies, struggling to keep her tone steady. “I remembered how much you liked my browni
es, so I made a pan today. Of course, I had to save most of them for my brothers and sisters, but I was able to spare a few.” She smiled, hoping to lighten his somber mood.
Instead, he frowned. “Brothers and sisters? I thought you only had one sister. She was born right before we left, I think. What was her name?”
“Hannah,” she said, a little hurt he didn’t remember. “After you left, Mamm and Daed had five more children, and Mamm’s expecting another one soon.”
His flat expression softened, but only a bit. “Seems they’ve been busy.”
She blushed. “Ya.”
He took the plate from her hand. “Danki, Amanda. That was mighty kind of you.”
“Don’t mention it. I like to cook. Have you had supper yet?”
“Nee, but I’m not really hungry.”
“Josiah, you can’t go without dinner. Tell you what, while you take care of the horse, I’ll go inside and fix you something to eat.” Her anxiety lessened. The kitchen had always been her comfort zone.
“You don’t have to do that—”
“It’s no bother at all,” she said over her shoulder, already heading to the house. When he called out her name again, she ignored him, determined not to let him turn down her offer. He’d been out all day, and he shouldn’t have to fix his own supper. Not when she could easily do it for him.
Tall weeds and grass tickled her bare legs as she made the way to the back door. She skipped up the two concrete steps and noticed the screen door missing. Glancing around, she saw it lying on the ground next to the house. She picked it up and leaned it against the house before going inside.
She hadn’t been in the Bontragers’ home since they had moved away. Although her daed had tried to take care of the outside, no one had ventured in as far as she knew. The dank, stuffy smell confirmed her suspicion. Stepping inside the small mudroom, she opened another door, which led into the kitchen. She couldn’t see much more than shadows in the darkened space, so she searched for a battery-operated lamp or gaslight. Finally, she found a small battery lamp next to the metal sink and flipped on the light. The glow illuminated a thick layer of dust on the counter.
Cobwebs decorated every corner, from the ceiling to the wood-planked floor. Some of the nails had come loose, and the planks themselves were rough and dirty. Grime covered the stove, and two of the cabinets were missing doors.
“Not much to look at, is it?”
She turned around at the sound of Josiah’s voice. He stood in the doorway, his expression shadowed from her view, his tone expressing his displeasure. Not that she could blame him. The kitchen, and probably the entire house, was a mess.
Still, there was a stove—and running water, she hoped. She started opening cabinets, looking for any kind of ingredients to prepare what would surely be a simple meal. The first two cabinets revealed only more cobwebs.
The thud of his shoes sounded against the floor as he came up behind her. He put his hand on one of the cabinet doors, his arm hovering over her shoulder. “Don’t.”
Twirling around, she looked up at him, their faces only inches from each other. Her breath hung in her throat at his nearness, and her heartbeat accelerated. But not out of fear or even anxiety. Attraction crackled between them, pure and simple.
Her reaction to him didn’t make sense. This was Josiah, her best friend from childhood. Yet the person standing before her wasn’t a child anymore, but a man.
Licking her suddenly dry lips, she asked, “Um, do you keep your food somewhere else?”
“I don’t want you making me anything.”
His words were low, with a tinge of anger in them. Hurt pricked at her. When did he develop such a short fuse?
They stared at each other for a moment. His hand didn’t move, and suddenly her confusion at his tone melted into something else. The last remnants of sunlight shone through the kitchen window, blending with the stark light of the lamp. She could see his face clearly now, saw the darkening of his eyes as he continued to hold her gaze. Then he suddenly dropped his arm and stepped away.
“Best if you go home now, Amanda.” His voice sounded slightly hoarse, and a shiver passed through her at his raspy tone.
“But—”
“Geh!”
She shrank back. “All right.” Spinning around on the balls of her bare feet, she turned to leave. She’d taken no more than three steps when she felt something sharp pierce the bottom of her foot. “Ow!” Lifting up her foot, she spied a dark streak of blood on the bottom of her heel.
“What?” Josiah said, striding toward her. His harsh tone had softened into concern.
“Nix. I just cut my foot.” As the stinging pain traveled through the bottom of her heel, a drop of blood landed on the floor.
He hesitated, then sighed. “Let me see.” He pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and gestured for her to sit.
“It’s nothing, Josiah.” Her voice held more of an edge than she meant it to. “Just a little cut. I’ll go home and put a bandage on it.”
She didn’t want to stay here any longer, especially when he didn’t want her to, something he’d made very clear. But when she put her foot down to walk out, she couldn’t hide her wince.
He grabbed the lamp from the counter and set it on the table. “Sit down, Amanda.”
His sharp tone brooked no argument, and neither did the resolute expression on his face. She sat.
Chapter Four
“GIVE ME YOUR FOOT,” JOSIAH SAID, CROUCHING IN FRONT of her.
“Josiah, it’s not that bad. You don’t have to—”
He grabbed her ankle, effectively cutting her off. Gentling his grip, he balanced the back edge of her heel on his knee and examined the wound. “Cut’s about an inch wide. Not bleeding too much.”
“See, I told you.”
“But you have a big splinter stuck in it.” He put her foot down and left the kitchen.
“Josiah?” She frowned when he didn’t answer her. Josiah hadn’t only changed physically. He had a completely different personality than she remembered. He’d never behaved like he didn’t want to be around her, or that she was in his way.
Disappointment threaded through her. She’d been so excited to have her best friend back. Now she wondered if they would ever be friends again.
She looked up as he entered the room carrying a bandage, tweezers, and a brown bottle of peroxide. At her questioning look he said, “I always keep a first aid kit around. Never know when you might need it.”
Setting the supplies on the table, he knelt in front of her again and took her foot. He hesitated for a moment, and a wave of embarrassment flowed through her. She’d never been too concerned about her feet before. But with him crouched in front of her, holding her foot in a surprisingly gentle grip, she suddenly became self-conscious.
Silently he took the tweezers and yanked out the splinter so quickly she barely felt it. He unscrewed the white cap of the peroxide and poured it over her heel, apparently not caring that the antiseptic dripped on his pants. A glimmer of hope sparked inside her. Maybe he hadn’t changed completely after all.
Her heel still damp, they stayed motionless for a few seconds. Her foot twitched, and he grabbed it, as if worried it would fall off his knee. But instead of letting go, his thumb brushed the instep. An accidental movement, yet so featherlight she shivered.
Clearing his throat, he let go of her foot, snatched the bandage off the kitchen table and used his teeth to open the wrapper. He quickly affixed the bandage on the bottom of her heel, smoothing out the adhesive. “Done,” he said, his voice brusque.
“Danki.” She put her foot down.
The moment she moved, he jumped up and took several steps backward, not looking at her, erecting a noticeable wall between them.
Inwardly she sighed. He really didn’t want her here. She stood and turned around, being more mindful of the splintery floor, and walked toward the door, ready to be gone. But instead of leaving, she hesitated at the doorway. Facing him, s
he asked, “What did I do wrong, Josiah? Why are you so upset with me?”
Josiah couldn’t answer right away. He had fully expected her to leave, and a part of him had wanted her to. But another, stronger part wanted her to stay. Confusion and hurt were displayed on her lovely face. He had no idea how to soothe them away.
Over the years since he’d left Paradise, Josiah had thought of Amanda often. They’d had more than a close friendship, at least from his standpoint. At the tender age of twelve, he had decided to marry her, but of course he didn’t tell her that. There would be time for that, he had thought. Plenty of time for him to make her fall in love with him.
Then his mother died, and everything changed. Amanda had been there for him during that dark time, more than she realized. And after he left Paradise, he had dreamed of the day he would see her again. But as time passed, he realized how impossible that would be. So he tried to push her out of his mind. He’d even tried dating a couple of girls, hoping to quash his feelings for Amanda, but the idea of courting anyone else felt like a betrayal. Then his life had gotten so out of control he refused to allow himself to have feelings for anyone. Even so, Amanda had never been all that far from his thoughts, or his heart.
And now he was back in Paradise, and Amanda was back in his life. Before leaving his house that morning, he had seen her putting out the wash, and it had taken everything he had to keep from staring at her. He’d had to dig deeper still when he tended to her foot. He couldn’t let her leave with a bleeding foot, especially since she had injured it on his pathetic excuse for a floor. When he knelt in front of her, trying to ignore her small, delicate foot, he had to fight for the resolve to keep his feelings from breaking the surface.
Then he had stroked her instep. The movement had been instinctive, and it was done before he could stop himself. At that point he knew he couldn’t be that close to her again. He’d spent more than a decade smothering any feelings and tightly controlling his reactions. Yet in the span of a few minutes, Amanda Graber had threatened to undo all of that, without even knowing it. He couldn’t afford to let that happen.