Malloy made me wait in the car while he went up the walk and knocked on the door. A tiny, grandmotherly woman with bright orange hair and glasses on a beaded gold chain greeted him and ushered him inside, closing the door behind him. He was gone less than fifteen minutes.
“You want to tell me what that was all about?” I asked when he got back in the car.
“If we are going to rent Jesse,” Malloy said. “We’ll need a credit card. Here,” He handed one of the cards to me. “I got one for you, too. Just in case.”
“Is this a stolen credit card?” I asked, looking down at the card in my hand. The name on the card was Linda M. Kozlen. I just couldn’t picture that old lady selling stolen credit cards.
“Yes,” Malloy replied. “You got a better idea, let me know.”
Malloy used his new card first to rent a Chrysler Sebring and then to book a room at the Woodland Hills Hilton. Then we made a visit to the Home Depot, for supplies.
It goes without saying that the Hilton was better than the Palmview. I almost wished we could stay there. I took advantage of the clean bathroom to have a nice long hot shower. Malloy showered, too, and shaved and then called Spotlight from the hotel phone while I filled up my duffel bag with clean, fluffy towels and complimentary toiletries. It was amazing to hear Malloy’s gruff voice go all soft and tentative, like a first time john.
“Um, yes, hello,” he said. “I would like to book a date with... um.. Jesse Black.”
He arched an eyebrow at me when I came out of the bathroom.
“He doesn’t?” Malloy said. “I see. Well, that’s fine. I just... well, I just want... No, no fetishes.” He paused. “No, kissing isn’t important.” Another pause “Look, I understand, but I really want Jesse.”
I came over and sat down on the bed.
“Right,” Malloy said looking down at the credit card. “Just the one hour. The name is Gerald Selbin. ‘S’ as in Snake, E-L-B-I-N.” He shook out a cigarette. “That’s correct.” He sparked his lighter and dipped the cigarette into the flame. “Visa.” He read off the number and expiration date. “Correct. Yes, I understand that the tip is not included. Hilton Woodland Hills. Room 403. Nine? Perfect. Thank you very much.”
Malloy hung up and shook his head.
“What?” I said. I felt jittery and a little sick from anticipation.
“Jesse doesn’t kiss, doesn’t give head or handjobs, and won’t let guys fuck him,” Malloy said. “Strictly a top, they say.”
“Yeah, well,” I said, remembering his weight on me, his hands on my neck. “He’s gonna bottom to me.”
The wait until nine seemed endless. Malloy and I went over and over the details of the plan. It felt like waiting for my first date. I wanted everything to be perfect.
Jesse was twenty minutes late. By the time he finally showed up I was so high strung I nearly had a heart attack when he knocked on the door.
“Ready?” Malloy asked.
I nodded.
Malloy went to let Jesse in and I backed into the bathroom, closing the door down to a narrow crack I could peek through.
“You Gerald?” Jesse asked. I couldn’t see him yet but just the sound of that lazy, cocksure California voice made my blood boil.
“That’s right,” Malloy said. “Please come in.”
Jesse walked into my thin slice of a view. He was dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt that said STAR-FUCKER. His pretty blue eyes were distant, already deep in hustlerbot mode. This was going to be too easy.
“You look great,” Malloy told him, taking out a hundred dollar bill and setting it on the bedside table. “You’re even better in person than in your movies.”
“Yeah,” Jesse said, looking at the money and then off into space. “Thanks.”
“Could you please...” Malloy said, flawless in the role of the anxious john, “your... I’d like very much to... see it.”
“Right,” Jesse replied, unzipping his fly.
While Jesse was concentrating on priming his pump for the job ahead, I quietly slipped out of the bathroom and pressed the snout of my pistol to the soft place where the back of his neck joined his skull.
“Get your fucking hands where I can see them,” I said.
“Aw, shit,” Jesse said, raising his hands up to shoulder level.
Malloy drew his gun and smiled.
“You remember Angel Dare,” Malloy said. “Don’t you?”
Jesse’s eyes went wide. I pressed my gun harder against his neck.
“Am I still your favorite?” I asked him.
He didn’t answer.
“Okay, listen up,” Malloy said. “The three of us are gonna take a little walk.”
“Can I...?” Jesse nodded down toward his exposed and rapidly shrinking livelihood. “Do you mind?”
“Go ahead,” I said. “You won’t be needing it anymore.”
27.
We walked Jesse down the fire stairs and into the parking lot. I kept my arm around his waist as if he were my boyfriend, gun pressed into the small of his back under his t-shirt. Malloy was close behind.
There was nobody around as Malloy unlocked the new rental car and popped the trunk. Using a white plastic zip strip from Home Depot, Malloy swiftly bound Jesse’s hands behind his back.
“Get in,” I said, jabbing the muzzle of my gun into Jesse’s kidney.
“You gotta be kidding,” Jesse said.
“She’s not.” Malloy said.
“Come on now, Jesse,” I said. “This is plush next to that damn Civic.”
Malloy kicked Jesse in the back of one knee and his legs buckled. He fell face first into the trunk.
“Mother...” Jesse cried, but Malloy tossed Jesse’s legs in after him and closed the trunk on fucker.
“Let’s go,” Malloy said.
Another long, silent drive, this one punctuated by rhythmic thumping and muffled curses from the trunk. I put on the radio and tuned to a classic rock station to drown Jesse out. Our destination was a place Malloy knew. A place out in the desert between Needles and nowhere. I didn’t want to know why he knew about that place, but I was glad he did. It was perfect.
When we got there, we spent a couple of back-breaking hours digging deep into the stony, unwilling ground. The desert night was beautiful, cool blue and full of stars, a thousand stars serenely indifferent to what we were about to do.
Malloy muscled Jesse out of the trunk while I fetched a metal folding chair and a roll of duct tape from the back seat. When Jesse saw where he was and the freshly dug hole, he bolted, tripping and staggering and kicking up dust. Malloy chased him down easily and escorted him back, gun jammed up under his right ear. Malloy sat him down and I quickly duct taped him to the folding chair I had set up next to the hole.
“You’re not gonna get away with this,” Jesse spluttered, his face crimson and eyes wide.
“Start at the beginning,” I said, showing him my gun again in case he’d forgotten about it.
“What?” he asked.
I slammed the butt of the gun into his left cheekbone. He yelped like a girl and almost went over backwards but Malloy caught the back of the chair with one hand. A thin trickle of blood ran down the side of Jesse’s nose.
“Start with the briefcase full of money,” I suggested.
“Okay, okay,” Jesse said, looking down at the hole and then back up at me. “Fuck.” He swallowed and licked his lips. “The money belongs to my uncle. It was payment for a new shipment of girls. Vukasin had the case and was supposed to bring it to the pick-up, only that little cunt got under his skin and managed to steal it while his pants were down.”
“Vukasin?” I asked, remembering the unusual name from Lia’s note.
“Vukasin, the Croatian guy who went to your office looking for Lia,” Jesse said. “The short one. The one who isn’t dead.”
I nodded. So the weasel was Lia’s “boyfriend.”
“Okay,” I said. “Tell me about this pick-up.”
“Every six mon
ths or so, my uncle meets these guys at a warehouse near LAX. They give him six new girls and take six used up ones.”
“Used up ones?” I said, exchanging a glance with Malloy who hung back, smoking. “What do you mean used up?”
“I mean the ones who don’t look so good anymore,” Jesse said. “The ones with HIV or Hep C, the ones that can’t earn their keep anymore.”
“Jesus,” I said. “What happens to them after they get traded in?”
Jesse shrugged and smirked.
“They get to, like, go frolic and play in beautiful green fields,” Jesse said. “Along with all the other little kitties and doggies and whores who can’t work anymore.”
I punched him in the face. I should have used the gun butt again because it hurt like hell, but I was pissed and didn’t think it through. I just hit him.
“Fuck!” Jesse spat. “Fucking bitch. You want to know what they do? They sell them for cheap down in Mexico. Maybe they make tacos out of them. Or glue. How the fuck should I know what happens to a bunch of useless old skags?”
“Useless old skags?” I said, shaking out my hand and opening and closing my fingers. “What are they, nineteen? Younger than you, Jesse.”
Jesse shrugged, sullen.
“Whatever,” he said.
“How did you get involved in this?” I said.
“My uncle,” Jesse said. “He’s the boss. He owns the business with the girls. He owns all kinds of stuff. Real estate. Restaurants. He got me into doing movies, too. I did some on-camera work for him once and then I started getting calls from other directors who liked what I had and wanted to hire me. Next thing you know...” He shrugged, still full of himself, even with a gun to his head.
“And when did you start turning tricks to supplement your income?”
“Sex for money is sex for money,” he said. “We’re all whores on this train, Angel. You oughta know.”
I refused to let him get a rise out of me. My knuckles hurt enough already.
“This uncle of yours,” I said. “That’s the guy with the bland face, right? The guy from the phony shoot who was asking all the questions.”
“Yeah,” Jesse said.
“And he’s the boss, the one in charge of this whole sex slave racket? He’s the one who framed me for Sam’s murder and planted that kiddie porn on my computer, right?”
“Right,” Jesse said.
“Tell me his name,” I said.
Jesse squinted at me.
“I’m gonna find out eventually,” I told him. I gestured toward the hole. “Better to just get it over with.”
Jesse looked away like a petulant child. I bit my lower lip and kicked his chair over sideways. He tumbled face-first into the pit.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” he hollered, twisting his face to the side and spitting sand.
He was still taped to the chair, only now the chair was up on his back like some kind of weird turtle shell, its legs sticking straight out behind him. His ass was in the air, bound hands squirming and dark purple. His weight rested on his cheek and knees.
I picked up one of the shiny new shovels from the Home Depot and dumped a load of pebbles and sand on top of him.
“Alan!” Jesse said, sputtering and coughing. “His name is Alan Ridgeway! Alan Ridgeway!”
“He must be pretty pissed at you, huh?” I asked, squatting down beside the pit. “First you couldn’t get it up to shoot me right like he told you to, and then you send those idiot friends of yours to get me instead of handling it yourself.”
“Get me out of here,” Jesse said, thrashing from side to side. “Fuck, get me out of here! I can’t breathe!”
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” I asked, letting him have another shovelful.
“Come on, Angel,” he said. He tried to make his panicky voice softer. “I never meant to hurt you. It was my uncle. He made me do it. He planned the whole thing. He’s the one you want, not me.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” I said. “I’m gonna get him too.”
Jesse kept on saying the kind of desperate shit men say when you’ve got them cornered. I didn’t even bother to respond. I was thinking about what the hell I was going to do.
I had fantasized about this moment for so long. Dreaming of what I would do to Jesse once I got my hands on him. I had lulled myself to sleep at night with visions of choking him to death with my bare hands, burning him with cigarettes, making him feel violated and torn open like he made me feel. Now that I had my chance, I felt cold and strange.
I thought of how easy it would be to just keep on shoveling until I couldn’t hear him anymore. It was a bad death, the kind of death a piece of shit like him deserved, but I found myself thinking of the way he had squeezed his eyes shut before he shot me. How he hadn’t had the balls to look me in the eye. I didn’t want to be like him. I wanted what happened between us in the end to be just as intimate as what he had done to me in that empty house in Bel Air. I wanted to look in his eyes when I did it.
I glanced over at Malloy and saw that he had gone back over to the car, still smoking and looking up at the stars. I guess he knew I needed to be alone for this.
I took a step closer to the edge of the pit and looked down at the gun Malloy had given me. It was a slightly older sibling of the Smith and Wesson I had used to plug the rhino. I tucked it into my jeans and slid down into the pit with Jesse.
He was crying when I landed beside him. It was hard to right the chair with him taped to it, especially in such a cramped space and with him outweighing me by fifty pounds at least. But I had a kind of hot, crazy focus that made me strong. When I got him upright he immediately started blubbering and begging me not to kill him. His face was muddy from snot and tears mixed with dirt. He looked so young, like a little kid who’d just gotten beat up in the schoolyard. I had to squint to make myself see the cocky bastard who’d had so much fun choking me until I passed out over and over again. I slid the gun out of my waistband and took his gritty, scraped up chin in my hand, looking into his beautiful blue eyes. He looked terrified, desperate. I didn’t even know I was going to say anything until the words came out of my mouth. My line reading was way better than his had been.
“End of the line, bitch,” I said.
Then I shot him.
28.
I buried Jesse. The soft plink of tiny rocks and sand hitting the metal chair seemed way too loud in the big desert night. I could have used some help, but I was glad Malloy hung back and left me to handle it alone. I needed the time to get my shit together.
It’s not that I was freaked out or disturbed by what I had done. I don’t exactly know how to describe what I was feeling as I buried the man who had raped me. Killing the rhino had been different. Impulsive. What I had done to Jesse, well, that was something else. In a way, it’s like I was burying my old self in that pit. The person that I’d been before I’d looked into a man’s eyes and shot him dead. The person that I was now, the delicate newborn killer that Jesse made me, needed the slow thoughtless shoveling like an insect still wet from metamorphosis needs time to dry its wings and figure out how to work its brand new form.
Because the killing wasn’t over yet.
“Done?” Malloy asked when I finally came back to the car. He squinted at me, spit on his fingers and extinguished his cigarette. He put the butt into a small plastic bag filled with several others.
I nodded. It was chilly now that the physical labor was done but I barely felt it. As we quickly loaded the remaining equipment into the trunk, I saw a small, expensive cell phone and a scatter of change on the carpet inside the trunk. Probably fell out of Jesse’s pocket while he was flailing around in there. I took the phone and put it into my duffel bag, figuring it might have some useful numbers. Malloy got into the car and motioned for me to get in, too.
“You got a little...” Malloy pointed to his chin and handed me a napkin from a Mexican restaurant.
I flipped down the visor and looked into the mirror. There were four perfectly
round drops of blood like a small constellation on my face. One on my chin, one at the corner of my mouth, one just under my eye and one on my temple. As I wiped them away, I noticed that my bruises were almost completely healed. I still didn’t look anything like I’d used to.
The radio had been on when Malloy killed the ignition and came back on too loudly when he started the car up again. The song was some sappy power ballad that had been popular when I first got into the business. I couldn’t remember the name of the band and couldn’t make myself care. Malloy reached to turn it off.
“Leave it,” I said. I wanted to hear something that didn’t matter.
Malloy nodded and put his hand back on the wheel. We didn’t speak. Malloy drove back to the Palmview.
The sun was coming up as we pulled into the mostly empty lot of the Palmview. We both knew there wasn’t any hope for sleep. I felt cold even though Malloy had given me his jacket again.
“You want coffee?” Malloy asked.
“Sure,” I replied.
We went to a Starbucks down the block. I couldn’t tolerate the clever, market-researched design of the place, so we took our expensive coffee back to the rental car and sat in the parking lot. Neither of us actually said Now what, but that’s what we both were thinking.
“Roxette,” I finally said. “I guess we need to figure out where the hell she went.”
Malloy shrugged and sipped his coffee while I called her various numbers again. Again, no answer.
We wasted a couple of hours hitting all the places where Roxette could have been. Nothing. No one had seen or heard from her since last Friday before the meeting with Celestine.
“She could have taken the money and fucked off to South America by now,” Malloy said.
I shook my head.
“She has money,” I said. “Her folks are loaded and she’s still pulling a huge day rate. She took the briefcase because she was curious, because she takes things. Not because she needed the money. Anyway it’s locked with a combination. She probably hasn’t even tried to open it.”
Money Shot hcc-40 Page 15