by Marta Perry
It seemed incredible that the boy’s mother would encourage this. Surely she must think that her son was too young to form a lasting attachment.
“I know you think you love him, but this is only going to bring unhappiness. You’re both so young—”
“You wouldn’t say that if I were talking about marrying Eli Stoltzfus or Martin Brand.” She shrugged. “Anyway, it’s not like that. They’re just helping me because they think I have a right to make my own decisions.”
“I will not argue that. But what about the police? The chief said—”
“That’s taken care of. Mrs. Wells got a lawyer for me. I just plead guilty to driving without a license, and I’ll be put on probation for a few months. See? My friends are taking care of me.”
“It’s gut of them to help you.” Anna was getting off easy, Leah felt. Because of the Wells family involvement? She didn’t know.
“It is.” Anna’s face was stony.
Leah reached out a tentative hand toward her sister. “But we love you. How can you decide to leave us this way? Don’t you love us anymore?”
For a moment she thought Anna wouldn’t answer. Then her lips trembled a little, and her eyes filled with tears.
“I love you.” She blinked rapidly. “That’s what makes it so hard. But this is right for me. Really.” She flung out her hands. “Don’t you see? I have to find out what the world is like. I have to see for myself. I can’t just settle down and get married and never know anything else. Can’t you understand that? Sometimes I feel as if I’m going to explode if I don’t get away from here.”
“I know things have been upset, with Mamm’s health and Mamm and Daadi moving into the daadi haus—”
“It’s not that.” She shook her head decisively, her hair flaring out and then fluttering against her cheek. “I admit that’s pushed me along, but this has been coming for a long time.” She smiled a little sadly. “You just didn’t notice. Leah, please, try to understand. Try to forgive me for hurting Mamm and Daad. I’m sorry. But I have to go and see what the world is like. I have to.”
Leah didn’t want to understand. She wanted to take Anna’s hand, the way she had when Anna was little, and lead her back home. But she couldn’t.
Leah was meant to stay, she knew that now. But it seemed that Anna was equally convinced that it was her time to go.
“I will miss you. More than you know.”
Relief flooded Anna’s face. “You understand.”
“No, not entirely. But I accept that you feel you have to go.” She opened her arms to Anna, her heart full of love and pain. “Da Herr sei mit du. The Lord be with you.”
Anna threw her arms around Leah in a fierce hug. “I love you, Leah.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “Thank you.”
Leah stroked the silky hair. “Just don’t disappear, the way Johnny did. Don’t forget us.”
“I won’t.” Anna pressed her cheek against Leah’s.
Pain ricocheted through her, and she remembered the first time she’d held her baby sister, her heart overflowing with love.
Please, Father. Please. Bring our Anna back to us one day.
She was almost home already, and she still hadn’t figured out what she was going to say to her parents. Leah reached across to touch Ben’s sleeve, knowing he was unlikely to hear her with his favorite country music blaring from the radio.
“Just drop me here. I’d like to walk the rest of the way.”
His eyebrows lifted. “You sure of that?”
“I have some thinking to do.”
He pulled up at the edge of Daniel’s pasture. “I’m sorry about this business with Anna. Hope everything works out all right.”
“I do, too.” Her throat thickened, and she couldn’t say more. But Ben was a good friend to the Amish, and he’d understand.
She slid out, raising her hand in a wave as he drove away.
Walking along the road, even in the heat of the summer sun, was better than being cooped up in an automobile. She took her bonnet off and let it dangle from her fingers.
Tiger lilies had begun to open along the side of the road, their orange blossoms unfurling, and Daniel’s cows surveyed her from the other side of the fence. It was beautiful, and peaceful, and Anna was rejecting it. Rejecting the life she’d always lived in favor of the unknown.
Mamm and Daadi wouldn’t take her word for Anna’s decision, of course. They’d insist on trying to talk to her themselves, sure that they could make her see sense.
But Anna wouldn’t change her mind. She was set on this course. One day, if God chose, she might realize that here was where she belonged.
Leah’s vision blurred with unshed tears, and she closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she saw Daniel, working on the fence at the corner where his lane met the county road.
Maybe that was why she’d had that urge to get out of the car, if she were truthful with herself. She’d hoped to see Daniel. Hoped to borrow a little of his strength for the ordeal ahead of her.
He saw her coming and straightened from his work, watching as she approached. “Was ist letz?” he asked as soon as she was close enough. “What’s the matter?”
She stopped, finding it harder than she’d expected to answer the question.
He touched her hand gently, drawing her closer. “Anna? She’s not coming home, is she?”
So he’d guessed. The tears spilled over before Leah could stop them. “She’s gone to her English friends.”
“She might change her mind once she’s thought about it a bit.” He brushed away the tears on her cheek, and his fingers were warm against her skin. “Maybe it’s not too late.”
“I don’t think so.”
Anna wouldn’t come home. She wouldn’t kneel before the congregation, confess her sin, and receive their forgiveness and love. Leah fought back tears so she could speak.
“Maybe for now, that’s the right thing. It seems she’ll never be happy unless she’s seen some of the world. Maybe, once she’s seen it, she’ll realize her place is here.”
He took her hands in his. “Is that what you believe?”
“It’s what I hope and pray.”
“Then I will hope and pray that also.” His fingers tightened on hers. “Has she left it to you to tell your parents?”
She nodded. “I wish I could find the words to break it to them gently.”
“They will not be surprised.”
She looked up at him, startled at the comment, and realized he was probably right. She longed to protect them, but they wouldn’t be surprised. They knew Anna.
“What makes you so wise?”
He smiled, shaking his head. “I’m not so wise. But I care.” The smile faded, and his blue eyes grew very serious. “This is not the time or the place, but I cannot wait any longer to ask this. Leah, will you be my wife?”
Her breath caught in her throat, and the waving meadow grass blurred. She looked at him—at the strong column of his neck, the firmness of his jaw, the kindness in his eyes.
Looking at him, she seemed to see the life that would be hers if she said yes. The children, the laughter, the sharing. It was all there within her grasp. But she couldn’t take it.
“I’m sorry.” The words came out in a whisper, and she took a deep breath and lifted her chin. She wouldn’t be a coward about this. “I thought I could do without love, but I’ve learned something about myself in the past few months. I can’t marry without it. You can’t offer me your heart, Daniel. So I’ll have to settle for being your friend.”
“Leah.” His voice was husky, and his fingers tightened on hers when she tried to pull free. “Knowing you has turned all that I thought I knew upside down. I’ve been so foolish, comparing you with Ruth and thinking that if you were around the English, you’d want to be one. I see now that the gut work you do at the clinic has only made you stronger.”
He let go of her hands then, but only so that he could cup her face between his palms. “I love you, Teac
her Leah. With all my heart. I believe that God led me to this place because we are meant to be together, and I will never try to change the strong, faithful woman you are, if only you will be my wife.”
Her heart was so full that she could not speak, but he must have read the answer in her eyes, because he bent his head and kissed her. After the first surprised moment she put her arms around him, secure in his warm embrace.
He lifted his head after a long moment.
A smile trembled on her lips. “Are we really standing at the end of your lane, kissing in broad daylight? The People will think for sure we are ferhoodled.”
He drew her closer, his lips brushing her cheek tenderly. “There is no one to see but the cows, and they don’t mind. You haven’t answered me, you know.”
“I thought I had.” For a moment she pushed away all thought of the troubles yet to be faced. “I love you, Daniel, with all my heart. Ja, I will marry you.”
Here was the answer she’d been seeking, even without really knowing it. In all she’d done, God had been preparing her for this role—Daniel’s wife, the mother of his children, the woman who could fill a role at the Englischer clinic without compromising being Amish.
She lifted her face for Daniel’s kiss. God had chosen this role for her from the beginning. He was just waiting for her to be ready to step into it.
GLOSSARY OF PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH WORDS AND PHRASES
ach. oh; used as an exclamation
agasinish. stubborn; self-willed
ain’t so. A phrase commonly used at the end of a sentence to invite agreement.
alter. old man
anymore. Used as a substitute for “nowadays.”
Ausbund. Amish hymnal. Used in the worship services, it contains traditional hymns, words only, to be sung without accompaniment. Many of the hymns date from the sixteenth century.
befuddled. mixed up
blabbermaul. talkative one
blaid. bashful
boppli. baby
bruder. brother
bu. boy
buwe. boys
daadi. daddy
denke. thanks (or danki)
Da Herr sei mit du. The Lord be with you.
Englischer. One who is not Plain.
ferhoodled. upset; distracted
ferleicht. perhaps
frau. wife
fress. eat
gross. big
grossdaadi. grandfather
grossdaadi haus. An addition to the farmhouse, built for the grandparents to live in once they’ve “retired” from actively running the farm.
grossmutter. grandmother
gut. good
hatt. hard; difficult
haus. house
hinnersich. backward
ich. I
ja. yes
kapp. Prayer covering, worn in obedience to the biblical injunction that women should pray with their heads covered. Kapps are made of Swiss organdy and are white. (In some Amish communities, unmarried girls thirteen and older wear black kapps during worship service.)
kinder. kids (or kinner)
komm. come
komm schnell. come quick
Leit. the people; the Amish
lippy. sassy
maidal. old maid; spinster
mamm. mother
meddaagesse. lunch
mind. remember
onkel. uncle
Ordnung. The agreed-upon rules by which the Amish community lives. When new practices become an issue, they are discussed at length among the leadership. The decision for or against innovation is generally made on the basis of maintaining the home and family as separate from the world. For instance, a telephone might be necessary in a shop in order to conduct business but would be banned from the home because it would intrude on family time.
Pennsylvania Dutch. The language is actually German in origin and is primarily a spoken language. Most Amish write in English, which results in many variations in spelling when the dialect is put into writing! The language probably originated in the south of Germany but is common also among the Swiss Mennonite and French Huguenot immigrants to Pennsylvania. The language was brought to America prior to the Revolution and is still in use today. High German is used for Scripture and church documents, while English is the language of commerce.
rumspringa. Running-around time. The late teen years when Amish youth taste some aspects of the outside world before deciding to be baptized into the church.
schnickelfritz. mischievous child
ser gut. very good
tastes like more. delicious
Was ist letz? What’s the matter?
Wie bist du heit. It’s nice to meet you.
wilkom. welcome
Wo bist du? Where are you?
Dear Reader,
I’m so glad you decided to pick up this book. I hope that you enjoyed Leah’s love story as much as I enjoyed writing it. These characters have been living in my heart for some time now, and it’s a delight to see them on the page and to share them with you.
I would love to hear your thoughts about my book. If you’d care to write to me, I’d be happy to reply with a signed bookmark or bookplate and my brochure of Pennsylvania Dutch recipes. You can find me on the Web at www.martaperry.com, e-mail me at [email protected], or write to me in care of Berkley Publicity Department, Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014.
Blessings,
Marta Perry
An Excerpt from
RACHEL’S GARDEN
Pleasant Valley
BOOK TWO
by Marta Perry
Coming in March 2010
from Berkley Books
Aflicker of movement from the lane beyond the kitchen window of the old farmhouse caught Rachel Brand’s eye as she leaned against the sink, washing up the bowl she’d used to make a batch of snickerdoodles. A buggy—ja, it must be Leah Glick, bringing her two older kinder home from the birthday party for their teacher already.
Quickly she set the bowl down and splashed cold water on her eyes. It wouldn’t do to let her young ones suspect that their mamm had been crying while she baked. Smoothing her hair back under her kapp and arranging a smile on her lips, she went to the back door.
But the visitor was not Leah. It was a man alone, driving the buggy.
Shock shattered her curiosity when she recognized the strong face under the brim of the black Amish hat. Gideon Zook. Her fingers clenched, wrinkling the fabric of her dark apron. What did he want from her?
She stood motionless for a moment, her left hand tight on the door frame. Then she grabbed the black wool shawl that hung by the door, threw it around her shoulders, and stepped outside.
The cold air sent a shiver through her. It was mid-March already, but winter had not released its grip on Pleasant Valley, Pennsylvania. The snowdrops she had planted last fall quivered against the back step, their white cups a mute testimony that spring would come eventually. Everything else was as brown and barren as her heart felt these days.
A fierce longing for spring swept through her as she crossed the still-hard ground. If she could be in the midst of growing things, planting and nurturing her beloved garden—ach, there she might find the peace she longed for.
Everything was too quiet on the farm now. Even the barn was empty, the dairy cows moved to the far field already, taken care of by her young brother-in-law William in the early morning hours.
The Belgian draft horses Ezra had been so pleased to be able to buy were spending the winter at the farm of his oldest brother, Isaac. Only Dolly, six-year-old Joseph’s pet goat, bleated for lornly from her pen, protesting his absence.
Gideon had tethered his horse to the hitching post. Removing an object from his buggy, he began pacing across the lawn, as if he measured something.
Then he saw her. He stopped, waiting. His hat was pushed back, and he lifted his face slightly, as if in appreciation of the watery sunshine. But Gideon’s broad shoulders were stiff und
er his black jacket, his eyes wary and his mouth set above his beard.
Reluctance slowed her steps. Perhaps Gideon felt that same reluctance. Aside from the formal words of condolence he’d spoken to her once he was well enough to be out again after the accident, she and Gideon had managed to avoid talking to each other for months. That was no easy thing in a tight-knit Amish community.
She forced a smile. “Gideon, wilkom. I didn’t expect to be seeing you today.”
What are you doing here? was what she really wanted to say.
“Rachel.” He inclined his head slightly, studying her face as if trying to read her feelings.
His own face gave little away—all strong planes and straight lines, like the wood he worked with in his carpentry business. Lines of tension radiated from his brown eyes, making him look older than the thirty-two she knew him to be. His work-hardened hands tightened on the objects he grasped—small wooden stakes, sharpened to points.
He cleared his throat, as if not sure what to say to her now that they were face-to-face. “How are you? And the young ones?”
“I’m well.” Except that her heart twisted with pain at the sight of him, at the reminder he brought of all she had lost. “The kinder also. Mary is napping, and Leah Glick took Joseph and Becky to a birthday luncheon the scholars are having for Mary Yoder.”
“Gut, gut.”
He moved a step closer to her, and she realized that his left leg was still stiff—a daily reminder for him, probably, of the accident.
For an instant the scene she’d imagined so many times flashed yet again through her mind, stealing her breath away. She seemed to see Ezra, high in the rafters of a barn; Gideon below him; the old timbers creaking, then breaking, Ezra falling as the barn collapsed like a house of cards . . .
She gasped a strangled breath, like a fish struggling on the bank of the pond. Revulsion wrung her stomach, and she slammed the door shut on her imagination.
She could not let herself think about that, not now. It was not Gideon’s fault that she couldn’t see him without imagining the accident that had taken Ezra away from them. She had to talk to him sensibly, had to find out what had brought him here. And how she could get him to go away again.