by Chris Taylor
“I can feel your heart beat,” she whispered.
He stared at her with all the longing in his heart. Moving slowly, his head inched toward her mouth. He grazed her lips with the lightest of pressure, loving their taste and feel. Needing more, he returned to her mouth and kissed her once again. This time, he didn’t hold back.
She opened her mouth and he deepened the kiss. Her tongue tangled eagerly with his. He pulled her in tightly against him, relishing the feel of her breasts. Even with their clothes between them, their soft fullness imprinted themselves on his chest. He longed to feel her naked, his skin to hers.
As if reading his mind, she eased his shirt from his jeans. Her hands slid under the cotton fabric and her fingers caressed the muscles of his chest. He sucked in a breath at the wonder of it, his heart pounding.
Her fingers continued their exploration, dipping into his navel and then sliding upwards to skim across his pectorals. They tangled in his chest hair and then grazed his nipples.
Sensation rocketed through his veins and pooled heavily in his balls. His cock throbbed. He ached for her to touch him. Once again, she seemed in tune with his needs. Reaching under the waistband of his jeans, her hand encircled his erection and squeezed.
“Ah, sweet Jesus! That feels so good.”
Her hand moved up and down his shaft in an agonizing rhythm of pleasure and pain. He wanted to flip her over onto her back and spread her thighs. Instead, he submitted to her heated attentions for as long as he could endure and then tenderly removed her hand.
“My turn,” he murmured, his voice husky with need.
She smiled and lay back against the trampoline pad, swaying gently with the movement. He started on the buttons of her shirt. His still-healing collarbone made it a little more difficult, but he managed to slide each button out of its hole. He took his time, relishing the sight and feel of her soft, smooth skin, as he revealed more, inch by inch. At last, her shirt lay open and with the aid of the moon, he stared at her beautiful breasts.
During their first encounter in the cloakroom, he’d been in such a hurry, he hadn’t had time to fully appreciate their magnificence. Her white lacy bra was filled to overflowing. He traced the swell of one breast with his finger and then moved to the other. She watched him, her eyes half closed and responded to his touch. He bent his head and through the lace, flicked his tongue over each of her rosy nipples. They puckered and hardened and all of a sudden, he couldn’t stand even the thin barrier of lace. Reaching around behind her with his good arm, he found the clasp and released it.
They both sighed simultaneously—he with wonder, she with relief. He smiled and she smiled back at him and then groaned when he filled his hands with her unbound breasts. They were round and soft and silky to the touch and overflowed his palms. He kneaded them gently over and over and then once again bent his head.
This time, he took her nipple into his mouth and suckled the nub between his lips. His tongue flicked over the sensitive peak, tasting her sweetness as he breathed in her light perfume. She moved restlessly beneath him and then reached up and tangled her hands in his hair. Holding his head in place, she sighed again.
“Your mouth feels like magic,” she murmured. “So darn good.”
“You taste and smell delicious,” he replied and moved his attentions to her other breast.
Once again, she moaned her contentment and drew his head down close. The rasp of his stubble scratched against her soft skin, but she didn’t protest. Her heart pounded beneath his cheek.
With his mouth still loving her breast, his hand stole lower and inched across the smoothness of her belly. Lower still, he slipped beneath the waistband of her jeans and tangled in her curls. His finger slid along slick folds, moist and warm with need. She arched against his hand and he responded by increasing the pressure.
She gasped and her hands tightened around his head. His cock jerked with need. He had to have her. He had to bury himself in her wetness before he disgraced himself. Easing away from her and ignoring her soft cry of disappointment, he awkwardly tugged off his boots and jeans, almost toppling over on the unsteady platform. His shirt and underwear quickly followed. His cock sprang free, hard and proud, glistening with desire. Fire raged through his veins. He’d never wanted anyone so much.
Kneeling a little awkwardly on the trampoline, he tugged off her sandals and undid the button on her jeans. He slid them down her hips. A matching pair of white lace panties were revealed to his heated gaze.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered and leaned forward to kiss her. His lips found hers and they kissed each other with frantic need. The heat between them reached fever pitch. He felt it in every movement of her limbs. Her arms clung to him around his neck, her legs entwined with his. His cock pressed against her soft belly and it was agony and ecstasy, all at once.
“Make love to me, Lachlan.”
* * *
Ava stared up at Lachlan in the moonlight and relished the feel of his weight against her. Naked at last, she clung to him, skin to skin. The trampoline swayed gently beneath them. Taking his weight on his uninjured arm, he rose above her, all bronzed male magnificence, and sheathed his cock. She wondered briefly about where he’d found the condom, but then he nudged her legs apart and settled between her hips and she could focus on nothing but the feel of his erection pressing against her.
Unlike the first time they came together, this time, he moved at a more leisurely pace. His cock slid inside her one tantalizing inch at a time. Twisting her hips, she moved against him, wordlessly urging him on. She was eager to feel the full, hard length of him inside her.
“Easy, honey. There’s no rush,” he murmured huskily against her ear. “I want to remember this moment forever.”
The words sent equal parts of joy and pain searing through her heart. He was right to savor it. This might be the last time they were together. With that thought in mind, she relaxed against him and immersed herself in the feel of him slowly easing inside her.
When he could go no further, he stilled. His forehead rested against hers and his breath came fast and harsh. The tension in his body told her he was fighting hard to remain immobile. And then, as if he couldn’t stand it a moment longer, he groaned deeply, pulled out and then thrust hard all the way inside.
His breath was harsh against her ear, but she loved the feel of him stretching her wide. Bracing himself awkwardly on one arm, his movements became faster, more urgent, aided by the sway of the trampoline. She wondered briefly about his injured shoulder, but then pushed the thought aside and lifted her hips and met each thrust. He appeared to be coping with the exuberant activity just fine. Panting, she clung to his arms and seared the memory of him, of them, in her brain.
“Oh, sweet Jesus. Ava, you’re so wet. I’m gonna come, babe. Fuck, I’m gonna come.”
He groaned and pumped faster, his body hard against hers. The pressure inside her grew stronger. She was close, so close. Her nails dug into his shoulders and her teeth left marks on his skin. He yelped and shuddered above her and the action did her in.
Her orgasm gripped her and wrung her out, tipping her over the other side. Waves of pleasure and relief coursed through her. She gasped and cried out and held on to him, riding out the storm.
It was a long while later when Lachlan stirred and lifted his weight off her. Sliding out of her, he rolled onto his side and quickly disposed of the condom. She frowned, remembering he’d also been prepared the last time they’d been together. There was something about it that was a little strange. It niggled at her. And then it hit her.
“What’s a married man doing carrying around a bunch of condoms?”
His brow creased in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“The condoms. You had one at the wedding. Now you’ve produced one here. I was just wondering why you’d have condoms at all. I assume you and your wife don’t have any need of them.”
He sat up slowly, the action made more awkward by the tra
mpoline pad. “What are you trying to say, Ava?”
His voice was low and held a hint of warning. She wanted to forget the whole conversation and go back to feeling great, but somehow, she couldn’t let it go.
“I’m just curious why a man who’s still married—in fact, who was still living with his wife up until a couple of months ago, has a steady supply of condoms. Do you make a habit of picking up women for sex?”
The words fell out of her mouth and there was no way she could take them back. His body tensed and his eyes flashed with anger.
“What the hell are you implying? That my vows mean so little to me, that now my wife’s out of the picture, I spend my time having sex with as many women as I can?” He shook his head in disgust. “Is that how little you think of me?”
She shook her head. The words had come out all wrong. She was curious about why he appeared to have a condom on hand whenever one was needed. That’s all. No big deal.
“For your information,” he bit out, “Kristy’s allergic to ‘the Pill.’ We tried other methods of contraception, but condoms seem to be the easiest one. So, yes, I do have a steady supply of them. I never know when my wife will be in the mood for sex. Lately, that hasn’t been working out so well. I guess it’s lucky you came along.”
She gasped at the hurtful words and tears sprang to her eyes. She’d never meant for her question to be taken like this. He was angry and she was deeply hurt. He’d cut her to the quick, with his throwaway line and right at that moment, she didn’t know if she could ever forgive him. In frantic haste, she climbed off the trampoline and then searched feverishly for her clothes.
“Ava, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Jesus, please don’t go. I’m sorry.” He looked as devastated as she felt, but she wasn’t in the mood to placate him. The cool professionalism she worked so hard to maintain with her patients had disappeared.
“It’s fine. I understand,” she managed. “Go and make up with your wife.” And with that, she left.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Dear Diary,
Just when I thought the blackness would consume me, I find myself peering into the light. Little by little, I’m gaining ground, winning the war against the faceless beast. My wife does the best she can. My kids love me, no matter what. They don’t even know they’re my rock. I cling to them and fight off the darkness…
I feel better than I have for a long time and I have my friends and family to thank. I only hope it continues. The beast is strong. The beast is powerful. The beast is more cunning than I think. I must stay on my guard, be alert or else risk falling back into the abyss…
* * *
Ava paid the cab driver and stumbled bare foot into her apartment building. In her haste to dress and leave, she’d forgotten her shoes. She was still smarting from Lachlan’s comments and was desperately sad that they’d ruined such a magical night. Despite her brave words, the thought of him renewing his relationship with his wife was more than she could bear.
Flinging open the door to her apartment, she slammed it shut and ran down the hall to her room. Throwing herself across her bed, she let the hot tears fall. She cried for the lost opportunity, the loss of what felt—for her at least—like her opportunity to experience true love. She cried for Lachlan and his family. He was torn between his feelings for her and his loyalty to his wife and kids. It wasn’t fair that any of them should be forced to make such a choice.
Why the hell couldn’t she have fallen for some other stranger? Someone single and completely unattached? It would have made things so much easier. She could be celebrating her newfound feelings and looking forward to a future filled with love. Instead, her heart was breaking and there was no happy ending anywhere in sight.
She should have known there was a reasonable explanation for the condoms. She’d hurt him with her accusations and he’d lashed out and hurt her in response. The therapist inside her knew exactly what he was doing and why, but it hadn’t made it any easier to accept or listen to, at the time.
He’d told her he was meeting Kristy and though Ava only wanted to see him happy, a part of her despaired at the thought that he’d reconnect with his wife and return to his family.
She believed wholeheartedly in marriage and everything it stood for. It was right and good that he did everything he could to make it work, but the possibility tore her heart in two. She’d fallen in love with him and she was almost certain he felt strongly about her, too.
Perhaps she should have tried harder to stay away from him? Give the reinvigoration of his marriage the best start it could? It was her own stupid fault she’d lost her heart to him and risked having it broken.
What a hopeless situation; somebody was bound to lose. If not her, then for his wife and more importantly, his kids. He didn’t want his children to come from a broken home and she didn’t want that for them, either. But she also wanted him. The two needs seemed irrevocably opposed. There was no way each of them could win.
She had to let him go. It was the only thing she could do. With a fresh wave of tears streaming from her eyes, she sobbed like her heart was breaking and prayed desperately for the strength to endure whatever was to be.
* * *
Lachlan checked his watch a second time and cursed softly under his breath. Kristy was late. The midday sun beat down on his head, even where he sat on the park bench beneath the shade of a huge gum tree. He’d taken his lunch hour to meet with her—and not for the first time wondered where she was.
Not that she was known for her punctuality. Keeping to a set time had always eluded his wife. It drove him nuts that they’d agree to arrive or leave at a specified time and when that moment came around, she wouldn’t be ready. It wasn’t unusual for the Coleridge family to be running fifteen or twenty minutes late. It had become so commonplace that among their friends, it was often the source of a joke.
He’d forgotten that irritating habit of Kristy’s when he’d made the appointment time. He’d been lulled into a false sense of security. Ava was always punctual. He winced, remembering the last time they’d been together. It was wonderful, magical, soul-destroying perfection…until it wasn’t.
He still ached over the hurt and disappointment both of them had caused each other. He could understand her curiosity over the condoms, but still, did she really think he was just sleeping around? She was the only woman he’d had sex with since his wife had walked out. And it wasn’t just because he was horny and Ava was willing to help him out.
He’d fallen in love with her and the knowledge was tearing him up inside. He wanted to do the right thing by his wife and kids, but he wasn’t sure he had the strength or courage to see it through. If Kristy welcomed him back with open arms, would he turn his back on Ava and all they’d found? He wanted to shout out a furious denial, but the truth was, he didn’t know.
His kids deserved a full-time father and a mother living in the same house. Could he sacrifice his own happiness for theirs? With a tortured cry, he hung his head in his hands, wishing he knew the answer and even more terrified that he already did.
“Lachlan? Are you all right?”
He lifted his head and stared at his wife. She looked the same as she always had. Short and petite with bleached blond hair and blue eyes that now studied him seriously.
“Kristy. Hi, I…didn’t see you arrive.”
“Yes, I noticed,” she replied dryly.
“I… It’s not what you think. I was thinking about something that happened…at work.”
“That’s the problem, Lachlan. There’s always something awful happening at work.” With a little sigh, she moved closer and perched beside him on the bench. Her tone softened. “How have you been?”
She sounded like she cared about his answer. He swallowed a lump in his throat. For all her faults, she’d once been the love of his life and she’d always be the mother of his kids. For that, she deserved his honesty.
“I’ve been okay. For a while after you left, I went a little crazy. I was shock
ed and angry that you’d gone. But lately, I’ve been able to look at things more clearly and I can see where I went wrong. You did the right thing by taking the kids and leaving. I probably never would have changed my ways if you hadn’t forced me to open my eyes.”
Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “Wow, I… I didn’t expect you to be so understanding. What happened to make you see?”
Lachlan stared at his hands. “I started getting therapy. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist. She’s been…helping me through my…problems.”
“She?”
Lachlan looked his wife in the eye. “Yes. Her name’s Ava.”
“Well, I’m just glad you decided to get professional help. It’s made a difference. You seem so much more at peace. Calmer, happier.” She turned to him and frowned. “Are you happier?”
He thought about it and nodded. After all the recent ups and downs, he hadn’t stopped to think about how he was feeling. Yes, he was happier: happier about feeling whole; happier about not feeling like he was drowning in misery and depression; happier about finding Ava.
“I’m sorry, Kristy, for all the stuff I put you through. It wasn’t fair. I shut you out and wallowed in my own self-pity. I gave up on us and our marriage. You married a man who was strong and resilient, who was fun to be around. I stopped being that man such a long time ago, it’s no wonder you left.”
Kristy nodded slowly and tears filled her eyes. “Yes, you did. And I was angry at you for becoming such a cold and angry stranger, but… It wasn’t the only reason I left.”
Lachlan frowned. “No?”
She shook her head. “No. The truth is, I… I fell in love with someone else.”
Lachlan gaped in shock. Kristy’s admission hit him like a ton of bricks. The tears now streamed down her face, but all he could do was stare at her.
“Lachlan! Please, say something! I’m sorry! I never meant for it to happen. But you were always out, either working or propping up some bar. I was lonely. I needed company. Mike gave that to me.”