by Lara Swann
“Improv is always fun too.” I shrug. “Heyy, maybe I could use this as part of my portfolio - Cassie’s boyfriend. Will you give me a reference?”
She just rolls her eyes at me before turning back to the road, and I continue eating in content silence for a few minutes.
“We’re really not going to talk about this at all?” She finally asks, those worry lines back across her forehead. “How are we going to convince everyone if we don’t work this out, Josh…”
Well, you made it an hour into the journey before we got down to ‘business’.
I glance over at her. “You know, we’ve somehow convinced everyone we’ve met in the last four years that we’re secretly fucking, so I can’t imagine it’ll be too difficult. Don’t worry too much.”
I squeeze her shoulder and she gives me a brief, appreciative look.
“I guess that’s true.” She admits, not responding to the humor of my comment as she had before, and I already know the only thing that will help is talking things through.
“Why don’t you tell me about your family, for starters. I’ve known you for years and the only thing I really know is that you can’t stand them.” I suggest.
At least we’re not talking about the ‘break up’ anymore.
I’ve got a vested interest in keeping the focus away from that for a while.
“It’s not that I can’t stand them.” Cassie starts, then hesitates. “Well, maybe being around them is hard to take sometimes. But sure, it’d be good for you to get an idea before we arrive.”
“And while we’re safely somewhere that you can bad-mouth them all you like.” I point out, and she laughs again, before clutching the steering wheel tighter and directing most of her focus into the surprisingly empty roads.
“So my Mom is all about family values and keeping up the appearance of having a large, happy family. I think she likes imagining herself as the typical rural housewife, growing up on a ranch and with children running around her feet—”
“You grew up on a ranch?” I ask, surprised.
“No.” Cassie laughs. “Which makes it all the more ridiculous, but I swear that’s the image she’s had in her head all these years. Part of the reason we visited this ranch throughout our childhood, I guess.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you knew the place. How close is it to where you lived in Arizona?”
“About an hour and half away. I grew up in Yuma in the south-west - this place is a little more central.” She nods.
“Okay - sorry, you were saying?” I prompt.
“Oh, yes. Mom. That’s pretty much it with her - she’s just a little hard to be around if you don’t fit her idea of what things should look like. Dad…he checked out a while ago. I think he just stopped caring about all the drama that Mom creates - except for how much it’s going to cost, anyway. He tries not to let her need to show off bankrupt them.” Cassie sighs and shakes her head, and I squeeze her shoulder again.
She gives me a thin smile. “It’s fine. I accepted it all ages ago. Anyway, I have two sisters and a brother. The eldest, Maria, is thirty…thirty-three now I think, and her husband John works in the Sheriff’s department in Yuma. They’re fine, we’ve just never been that close. She’s a fair bit older and the only thing she ever wanted was to settle down and have children.”
“Not the best thing to build a rapport with you.” I comment lightly and she gives me a quick smile.
“To be fair, her children are probably the best part of my entire family - Lucas and Ellie, who should be…seven and five now.” She smiles more genuinely this time, and I join in. “I’m actually really looking forward to seeing them again.”
She pauses for a moment, thinking about that while she navigates through some of the traffic that’s built up, and I take the opportunity to offer her a sandwich for the second time.
This time she takes it with a grateful smile, and bites into it before continuing.
“Mark is older too, though only a couple of years, and we’ve always gotten along well. He gets my drive to actually do something with my life in a way the others don’t. His wife Anne is pregnant now though, so his focus might have shifted a little. I haven’t spoken to him in a while.” She muses, chewing thoughtfully.
“What does Anne do?” I ask.
“Nothing.” I shrug. “Or, at least, in a few months’ time she’ll be raising children. She’s like Maria - always wanted to be the housewife type. They get along pretty well, I think.”
I nod. “And…the other one, who just got engaged?”
I can’t remember her name.
“Beth.” Cassie says shortly. “And Neil, her fiance. I don’t know Neil well, but Beth…takes after my Mom. You’ll see when we get there.”
She stops talking, and doesn’t start up again. I get the message. Beth will be interesting.
“Well, with any luck they’ll all distract each other, and no one will notice us.” I try and lighten the suddenly tense air, but she gives me a foreboding glance instead.
“You’re the first boyfriend I’ve had in years…and the only one I’ve brought home ever. They’re going to be all over you like flies on shit.”
I snort at that. “Great…nice imagery, Cassie.”
That does get a flash of a smile out of her, and she finishes off the sandwich while I think about it for a bit.
“Well, sounds like nothing to worry about - I’m sure I’ll find ways to piss them all off.” I consider.
“I’m sure you will.” Cassie quips.
“If you want my advice though…I should probably try to charm them, at least a little. It’s what they’ll be expecting and it would make more sense for us to gradually show glimpses of problems and issues - if we’re fighting immediately, they’ll wonder why the hell you brought me in the first place. Plus, we don’t really want to spoil things for everyone until after your sister’s engagement party.”
“Wanna bet…” I barely hear Cassie’s muttered comment, and I’m not sure I was supposed to.
I continue anyway. “It can be more powerful to change someone’s opinion, instead of just having them hate me from the start - that way they’re more likely to feel a personal level of betrayal when I prove their initial opinion wrong, and—”
“Okay, okay.” Cassie interrupts before I can really get into my lecture on psyches and how you can play the audience to make them feel and sympathize where you want. She glances at me. “Seriously, whatever you think best, Josh. You know what you’re doing - I’ll follow your lead on it. If you want to kiss ass for a couple of days…I’ll try not to gag on it.”
I give her a crooked smile. “I wouldn’t go quite that far - I’ll just be subtle at first. I’ve got plenty of time to get worse after the engagement party.”
She nods, chewing the inside of her lip as she looks out at the road, and it’s obvious she’s wondering what this week is going to be like.
I am too, for more reasons than one.
What I said about acting theory is partly true, I just might have left something out…
Bad first impressions are really, really tough to change.
And I’m hoping I might have reason not to want her family to hate me forever. I mean, sure, Cassie doesn’t get on well with them, so if they end up hating me…things might still work out.
But I’d rather not take that chance. This way, I can give them all a mixed enough view that it could go either way - the disastrous break-up that they can be secretly relieved about, or an opinion that I can come back from, if I need to.
Cassie breaks away from her thoughts to give me a smile, and I feel a little thrill of excitement at the week ahead. It’ll be a crazy time, but I’m going to be Cassie’s boyfriend for it…and I’m looking forward to showing her exactly what that means.
She doesn’t stand a chance.
Cassie reaches over to squeeze my hand, her eyes warm as they meet mine.
“Thank you, Josh. Seriously, I really appreciate this. I
feel so much better knowing I’ll have a friend here with me.”
I return the smile.
When it comes to these things, timing is everything.
I’ve got one week to convince her.
And this is the right fucking time.
Chapter Four
Cassie
“I knew I shouldn’t have let you navigate.” I mutter, pulling into the long road that constitutes a driveway for this place.
“Hey, the only mistake I made was listening to your gut that your childhood vacation ranch hadn’t been along that road.” Josh nods in the direction we just came and I shoot him a baleful look.
We’re an hour late and tension has been slowly creeping up through my shoulders over the last couple of hours, my stomach turning in knots at the thought of having to endure my family for a week - and trying to pull off this crazy stunt.
“Look at that,” Josh says as I finally bring the car to a stop, parking neatly opposite my parents’ in the over-sized area allocated. “We’re already arguing like an old married couple.”
He grins at me as I throw my head back against the seat, undoing the belt and running my hands through my hair. After a moment, I give Josh a small smile in return.
To be fair to him, he’s actually spent most of this trip trying to make me laugh and distract me from the anxious tension that visiting my family always gives me. He doesn’t exactly deserve me sniping at him, but he’s being a good enough sport to take it in the way I’m trying to say it - as the light-hearted banter we always have going on.
“Should probably cut some of that out.” I say, my mind turning yet again to how to pull this off. “I think the familiar bickering comes somewhat later than happily in love new couple.”
His mouth quirks up at the corners. “Hey, I’m a good actor…but some of that shit has been ingrained for years…no promises, Cassie.”
For some reason, I feel better about that than if he’d just casually agreed. Whatever it makes my family think, I can’t imagine being around Josh without some of that fun verbal sparring - and right now, I’m appreciating the idea of a few familiar comforts.
“Okay, might as well get this over with.” I finally say, pushing the door open.
Josh follows, and we walk over to the large, sprawling building together. Halfway there, Josh slips his hand through mine and I almost start in surprise, glancing down at it.
We casually touch and push each other all the time, but…we’ve never held hands. That’s a couple thing.
Of course.
A part of my brain reminds me. I just wasn’t expecting the warm buzz I felt at the casual, intimate gesture.
I look up to see Josh watching me, and he raises an eyebrow in question. I just shrug and smile at him, then continue walking.
But I squeeze his hand and feel a little silly as I enjoy him squeezing mine back, just glad to have that small amount of support for having to face my family again.
When we get up to the wide doorway, I ring the bell and wait.
In my family’s traditional style, they’ve hired the whole ranch house so we won’t have any other guests disturbing us. And despite it being able to accommodate many more, I’m sure they’ve already overrun the whole of it…
The door opens a moment later, my Mom stood just inside - a larger woman, with brown hair curling around her face in a way that only highlights her chubby features, and wearing a flowing red dress that swirls around her ankles.
“Cassandra!” She exclaims, and I quickly step inside and pull Josh with me, before she can rush forward to embrace me and keep us talking outside for an inordinate amount of time.
“Hi Mom.” I say, and lean in to give her a quick hug, simultaneously waving at everyone else filtering in from a door off to the side.
“You’ve been ages!” She chides, “I was starting to wonder whether you were going to show up at all.”
“It was only an hour, Mom. There was traffic.” I start, already feeling defensive.
“Well, we couldn’t hold the food anymore. You’ve missed the main meal, Cassie - we kept you some, of course, but you’ll have to have it while everyone else is on coffee and—”
“That’s fine.” I interrupt, glancing at Josh. “It’s fine.”
She looks at me for a moment, then nods brusquely. “Well at least you’re here now, I suppose. And you came with someone - that’s definitely news.”
That’s all it takes to turn her full attention onto Josh, and for her puckered expression to turn into a wide smile. I barely suppress a sigh, and summon a smile of my own, nodding.
“Yes, I wanted to introduce everyone to Josh - my boyfriend.” I feel him squeeze my hand as I try not to stumble over the unfamiliar words. They feel strange and I wonder whether maybe I should have practiced this first. “Josh, this is my Mom, Adelaide…”
She leans in to kiss him on the cheek, and then I slowly introduce him to the people who’ve gathered behind - my Dad Henry, then Mark, Beth, Neil and John - who all say a range of ‘hello’s.
Josh waits for me to finish before turning on the charming smile I’ve seen girls fall for again and again. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes - my usual response.
You’re supposed to be one of those girls now, remember?
“It’s so good to finally meet you all.” Josh slips his hand out of mine and I have a moment to be disappointed before it gets wrapped around my shoulders, pulling us a little closer together while he looks out at my family. “And I’m very sorry if I get you at all mixed up, I’m terrible with names.”
I blink, glancing over at him, but he’s not looking at me at all. I’ve watched Josh memorize lines within a few hours of receiving them - being terrible with names is the last thing I’d accuse him of.
Then I realize what he’s doing and have to stop myself smiling - ‘I’m sure I can find enough ways to piss them off’ indeed.
I pull myself back to the moment, and scout around everyone stood greeting us before glancing at my Mom again. “Umm…where’s Maria?”
“Ohh, she’s putting the kids to bed - they ate earlier and it got too late for them to stay up any longer. Let’s go on through - Anne is waiting in the dining room, you know in her condition she thought it would be easier…” Mom trails off as she turns around and starts gesturing everyone back in the direction they came in.
Damn. The one part I’d been looking forward to. But it is past seven, and I can understand Marie not wanting to destroy the kids’ routine - especially with the whole family around to suffer the consequences of it. I can wait until tomorrow.
Josh doesn’t move his hand from my shoulder as we follow the group into the dining room, and it gives me the opportunity to sidle closer to him.
“What happened with sticking to the truth?” I murmur under my breath.
He gives me a quick grin, squeezing my shoulder. “I said I wouldn’t pretend to be a completely different person. A few…embellishments are fair game.”
I laugh, surprised to find I feel a little better after the initial onslaught of seeing my large family again.
We take our places at the fully adorned table, and I finally notice the way everyone else has dressed up for the meal tonight - in sharp contrast to the jeans and t-shirt Josh and I are wearing.
Okay, they obviously intended tonight’s dinner to be a little more than our typical casual get-together.
I feel worse about being late, and wish someone had told me so I could’ve worn something more appropriate - like this, we look rather out of place.
Mom reappears with the food and then everyone else starts helping themselves to coffee from the pots already in the middle of the table.
“Thanks Mom.” I say, and Josh echoes the sentiment as we start eating.
Maria enters a moment later, and spots us immediately.
“Cassie!” She walks over and I stand up to give her a quick hug.
“Hey Maria - sorry I didn’t get to say ‘hi’ to the kids tonight�
�” I start.
She waves me off. “Don’t worry about it. I told them they’d be seeing you tomorrow, and they were far too tired from the journey to complain.”
I give her a quick smile, then gesture down to Josh who’s looking up at us. “This is Josh, my boyfriend.”
Okay, slightly easier to say this time.
They exchange a quick greeting, then Maria leans over to pour herself some coffee and then settles down to let us continue eating.
For a couple of minutes anyway - as soon as the familiar chaos subsides, all the questions start.
“So, Josh!” Mom starts, smiling widely at him again. “It’s simply wonderful you could join us this week - you could imagine my surprise when Cassie said she was bringing someone. Her boyfriend no less—”
“Mom…” I mutter, before realizing I don’t actually need to feel embarrassed.
It doesn’t matter if Josh sees my family for what they are, or if my Mom makes endless awkward comments.
I’ve already told him what they’re like, and he’s here for me. He’s a friend who can sympathize and be on my side here, not someone I’m worried about impressing.
As if he can read my thoughts, his hand finds my leg under the table and he gives it a little squeeze. I glance over and meet his eyes briefly, seeing the warmth and reassurance there. I reach down to squeeze his hand and look away before I start being silly about this. I’m not exactly used to having much support here.
My Mom continues her overly cheery talk, oblivious to our brief exchange. “Of course, Cassandra hasn’t told me anything about you, so you’re going to have to tell me everything.”
Josh glances from me to my Mom and then laughs politely. “What do you want to know?”
Dangerous question to ask my Mom…
“Well…for starters, what do you do? Did you meet at UCLA - at Cassie’s med school?” She smiles widely at him as he holds up his hands to stop the barrage of questions, giving her a quick smile.
He glances at me and I panic momentarily as I realize we haven’t concocted a ‘how we met’ story.