by Lara Swann
I take a deep breath, look back at him.
I’d been afraid he didn’t mean it - what we were doing back there. That it had all been wrapped up in the act. Kissing me like that…well, that should tell me what I need to know. But still…
“You’re a really fucking good actor, Josh. I didn’t know whether…it was all just an act to you. Real, hot sex maybe, but a fake role.” I say, and this time I don’t shy away from his eyes.
His expression eases, and he shifts forward. No less intense, but gentler with it - softer, almost.
His hand covers mine and he shakes his head, the cocky attitude shifting to something deeper.
“I’m a good actor, Cassie, but…fuck, I don’t think anyone could be that good.” He smiles at me, brushing my knuckles with his thumb and raising goosebumps all the way up my arm. “It was all real. Everything I did…the way I touched you…kissed you…the way I wanted you. And after all of that - I don’t think we can be just friends anymore, Cassie.”
I swallow, and my heart leaps.
Every stupid part of me gets tingly and warm and starts to hope. To think that maybe, just maybe…
“What about…everything you said, Josh?” I ask, not wanting to ruin the moment, but needing to ask. “About me being…self-centered and—and ungrateful. Was that real, too?”
He stares at me for a moment, and I tense up, but I have to know. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. And if he really thinks that, I don’t think I could face him again. Not even for…everything he just said.
There’s no doubt in my mind that selfishness and inconsideration are practically family traits. But I’d never thought I’d be blind enough not to notice if I was—
“Fuck, Cassie, of course not. How could you think—fuck it, I picked things you’d know could never be true. You’re studying to be a doctor, Caz. You want to help people more than anyone I know. And, damn it, how many times have you listened to me repeat the same lines again and again, even though we both knew I knew it, just because I was stressing?”
I relax. Finally, truly relax.
In a way that makes me realize just how tense I’d been before.
I hadn’t known just how much it had bothered me - that my best friend could have thought those things of me and never, ever said.
I sigh, and he leans in to kiss me again.
“You really are ridiculous sometimes, Caz.” Familiar, warm teasing.
I relax even more, but then frown as something else occurs to me, narrowing my eyes at him suspiciously.
“Wait, what about the risk-taking and spreadsheets and timetables thing? That’s true - and I never thought it bothered you that mu—”
He kisses me again, shutting me up for a long moment, and when he breaks it again I feel better before he even answers.
“Well, one of us needs to be good at that shit.” He sits back with folded arms and a raised eyebrow.
Us.
It sends a little thrill through me, and I know I’m starting to get ridiculous now, but after everything…I’m enjoying the burst of happy, positive feelings.
Even if his attitude is infuriating.
“You’re making a load of assumptions there, buddy.”
“Feel free to correct any you don’t like.” He smirks at me, and that sends another burst of heat straight to my pussy.
I think I might’ve liked it more when I was immune to that.
But damn, Josh always could call my bluff.
I don’t say anything, and he just laughs, then cocks his head at me.
“Okay, so what about the stuff you said to me?” He asks.
That makes my ears burn. I’d almost forgotten about that. And from his attitude, it’s not like he seems to have any insecurities from it - but turnabout is fair play.
“Well I meant it about you being a fucking good actor and it pissing me off that I couldn’t work out what was actually real.” I point out, just to bait him.
“Yeah, you’ve made that one clear, babe.” He drawls, and I roll my eyes.
“But I’m sorry for what I said about your relationships. That was shit of me - I was just angry, and I took it out on you.”
He nods, and I realize I’m actually glad he did ask. I’d needed to apologize.
“Those break ups were probably your fault anyway, babe. Hard for anyone else to compare.” He grins, but that catches me off guard.
“Wait a minute…how long has this been a thing for you?” I ask, disconcerted.
I thought we were just friends.
And I’m not sure whether I should feel a little…deceived…by that admission.
“Well, I realized you were actually hot a while ago.” He says, a smile playing at his lips.
“I’ve been telling you that for years!” I object, laughing a little.
But I know what he means.
He’s always been hot, and I’ve always known that. Admired it purely from an aesthetic point of view.
But actually feeling it now - in a spiraling-lust-straight-through-me kind of way - that still shocks me every time.
“But,” He continues, “I didn’t know I loved you until a couple of weeks ago. When I felt you under me for the first time - and knew, straight to my core, that I never wanted to let you go again.”
I freeze, the light-hearted banter disappearing from my lips as I stare at him.
What?!
It should be crazy.
Love?!
It’s only been…three weeks. And we weren’t even speaking for two of them.
You can’t fall in love in that time.
Unless…well, unless you count the four years.
My heart seizes up in my chest, and I think of everything I’ve felt the last few weeks…
The intense desire, wanting and needing to kiss him, touch him, fuck him…the happiness just to have him around, being there, supporting me…the anger and hurt at the idea that he’d been chasing after Nikki…at the way I thought he’d insulted me…and then the despair and emptiness after I thought it was fake, and over, and I’d lost him…
“Oh…” I say, barely audible.
He smiles at me - and this time it’s not that cocky smirk, but a real smile. That lights up his face and eyes and makes my heart dance.
He stands up and comes over to kiss me, and I kiss him back as if I’m starving, breathing in every part of him and getting lost in his mouth, his lips, his tongue.
When we come up for air, I know I’m dazed, but I can’t help the smile that creeps over my face.
“Oh…” I repeat. “Is that what that feeling is?”
He just laughs at me, and then he’s pulling me off the bar stool and my legs moving automatically to wrap around his waist, and I’m laughing with him, looking down at the handsome cut of his face and kissing him again and again.
We’re attracting attention, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t the place for this, but I’m happy enough I don’t even care.
“So…do you think you can kick your ‘no relationship ever’ rule long enough to give this a chance?” He asks, eyes dancing.
“I keep telling everyone - it wasn’t ever!” I scowl, but then I grin again. “And I think I worked it out over the last few weeks…you’ve always been the other half of my life, Josh. And I’ve needed that, to do any of the things I’m doing. So…I think you’re good. I think this can only be a good thing - just so long as you don’t go all caveman on me.”
“Coming up with terms and conditions already, I see.” He teases, and then kisses me before I can retort.
Totally unfair - but far too welcome for me to object.
I have a feeling this thing is going to put a kink in my verbal sparring ability for a while.
I giggle as we break apart again, nibbling on his lips and then shaking my head as something occurs to me.
“You’ve known for a while, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Idiot.” I shake my head. “Just think of all the time we wasted.�
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He gives me a heated look, and smiles in a way that makes me shudder in anticipation.
“I prefer to think of all the time we’ve just gained, baby.”
Epilogue
Cassie
I sit back on the sand, leaning against Josh and smiling as he wraps his arm around me.
The sun is dipping just ahead of us, a brightness hovering just above the horizon as pink and purple flashes change the shape of the stunningly clear sky.
I take a sip of my margarita, my other hand slowly stroking against Josh’s thigh as we settle into the quiet cove to watch the sunset.
We found it on our first day of exploring, and it’s become our place ever since. Secluded away from the world, with perfect views of the sea and calm, still water for swimming. And private enough that we’ve…taken full advantage.
I tilt my head up to kiss him at that thought, brushing his lips gently and savoring the warm, masculine feel of him.
“Thank you, Josh.” I say, again. “This has been a perfect trip.”
He smiles down at me, eyes alight. “Well, I thought since your family insisted on taking us away to celebrate you graduating, I should probably do the same to give you a chance to recover.”
I laugh, thinking back to that week of drama.
Not quite as bad as our worst, but still…
“At least they like you now.” I say.
“Everyone always likes me.” He grins at me, leaning down for another kiss.
It’s infuriatingly true. He’s even managed to charm my Mom, despite how this whole thing started between us.
Then again, maybe she realized it would be terrible for the family reputation for her to be constantly feuding with my boyfriend.
My boyfriend.
It had been so strange to say that at first, but now it’s just natural. I couldn’t even imagine it another way now, and I squeeze his hand again.
“I mean, you did give them what they always wanted, right? You got me into a relationship.” I laugh about it now, but it took a long time for me to find that funny.
Turns out, having a real boyfriend has been far more effective for ending the constant struggle with my mother than a fake one was. I hated the feeling that she thought I’d finally given in to all that pressure though, at the beginning.
Maria had stepped in more than once as a peacekeeper in those arguments.
“It wasn’t all bad though, this time.” He says, and I murmur a slight agreement.
The family reunions have been getting easier and easier, actually. Having Josh there to support me, and make everything fun and easy and light,seems to have changed it all. I even - though I’m probably never going to admit it - look forward to them a little now.
The chance to see Maria and Mark, and Ellie and Lucas and baby Jessica.
“I still prefer this.” I say, linking my hand with his.
He chuckles from beside me, turning to kiss my temple.
“Oh, I’m not going to argue with that.”
I sigh happily and rest my head against him again, enjoying the warmth of the last of the sun.
“You really did well with this, Josh.” I say again. I keep saying it, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a better vacation. “Sipping cocktails, lying on the beach and watching the sunset…what could possibly be better than this?”
I feel him smile against me, and then his tone changes. “Oh, I can think of something…”
He turns to kiss me, one hand cupping my cheek and then gliding down, stroking over my neck and collar bone to caress the side of my breast, his thumb trailing over my nipple in that way he knows makes me instantly wet.
“We’ve already done that.” I say, laughing and kissing him back. “A lot.”
I have the sand in places I don’t even want to think about to prove it.
“Mm, no…” He murmurs against my lips, nibbling a little before looking back at me, eyes sparkling. “Not quite that.”
I raise an eyebrow, wondering what he’s got planned this time.
And then he’s moving, setting his cocktail aside as he shifts around in front of me, kneeling there in the sand.
I cock my head, amused, until he reaches into his pocket and then my heart speeds up, suddenly breathless.
“I didn’t bring you here to celebrate your graduation, Cassie. Or to recover from your family. I found this place because I know - and I’ve known for so long now - that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
He opens the box he’s holding to show me a stunning diamond ring. The sun catches it just right, making it sparkle and shine and dance in the light, as I stare from it to him, not quite sure whether to believe him.
“And I think…it would be so much better…to be here, with you, as your fiance.” His eyes are shining, and I can see my own reflected there as I try to blink the tears away, my pulse roaring in my ears. “Will you marry me, Cassie?”
My breath catches in my throat and for a long moment I think I can’t breathe - and I can’t get the air to answer him - but then it all comes rushing back.
“Yes.” I throw my arms around him, not even giving him a chance to slip the ring onto my finger as I practically push him back into the ground, my heart in my throat.
“Yes, I’ll marry you.” I whisper, clutching him close. “Oh god, Josh…fuck, I never thought I was a romantic.”
He laughs at me, but I don’t let go, and then we kiss.
And stars flash before my eyes, and my heart feels like it’s about to explode with happiness and warmth and joy, and I can’t imagine anything better than this in the world.
His kiss consumes me, fire and passion and an urgent demand that becomes something more as our bodies move against each other, in a now-familiar rhythm.
“Oh, fuck, Josh…” I murmur, and then he doesn’t give me a chance for anything else.
His hands rip off the skimpy bikini that was barely offering any protection at all, and then I’m naked on the beach, the sand warming my back in the way it has so often on this trip. I wriggle in it, enjoying the softness, and the movement has him growling in front of me.
I grin, and laugh, and pull him to me, wrapping my legs around his hips and kissing and nipping at his mouth.
His tongue pushes into mine, stroking and teasing and taking me in a way that leaves me wanting more faster than I can believe. I don’t know how he sets me off this way, every time, even after we’ve just been doing this—
Then his mouth latches onto my tit and I can’t even think anymore. I buck up into the hardness pressing against his trunks, and my pussy is already contracting in eager anticipation. I don’t want to wait for this.
I slip my feet under the trunks, pushing them down insistently, and he laughs at me, taking the hint and helping a moment later.
I’m gasping now, glad once again for our privacy here, moaning and arching into him as he nibbles roughly at my breasts.
Oh fuck…
He’s so rough sometimes - when he can’t help himself anymore, when the desire and passion and need is too much. And I fucking love it. I love driving him to that. And I love feeling it.
“You’re mine, Cassie.” He says, strong and powerful as his mouth and hands move expertly over my body. “And you’re going to be mine now, always.”
I shudder at the words, moaning, and then I blink up at him. At the pure lust and love and happiness in his eyes.
“I’m going to take you, Cassie. Hard and fast and leaving nothing behind.”
The intensity of it has my breath coming in short gasps as I tell him to do just that - to make me his.
“Wait…Josh…”
He looks up as something suddenly occurs to me.
“The ring. I want to wear your ring. I want you to take me…as…your fiancee.”
His eyes glaze over, and he gives a quick nod as I go breathless with desire and anticipation.
He finds the box that we left lying on the sand in our sudden lust, opening it again a
nd showing me the gorgeous ring inside.
His ring.
He takes it out almost reverently, and his smile as he slips it onto my finger matches the way I feel inside.
Complete. Happy. Perfect.
He links his fingers with mine, and we just look at each other for a moment.
Then his smile curves into that red-hot desire again, and he pushes that hand down into the sand. I grin and smile and writhe and press against him, touching and kissing any part I can reach while he fumbles in the discarded trunks for something.
When he takes it out, and I hear the crinkle of the condom, I hesitate.
Then make my decision.
“Wait…”
He looks up at me again, amused exasperation crossing his face now.
“If you’re going to keep stopping me—”
“No, Josh.” I close my hand over the condom. “Will you…leave that?”
“What?”
He frowns at me, confused now, and I struggle to gather the courage to say what I really want to.
The one downside of this trip - we’ve been using those all week. I came off the pill after having stress-induced side-effects during my exams and since then…we’ve been using condoms.
And everytime, I’ve wondered…
“Don’t use it?” I breathe.
“Cassie…” He looks at me, eyes widening as he finally realizes what I’m saying.
I grip his hand tighter, love and need and desire flushing through me.
“Put a baby in me, Josh.” I whisper.
His breath catches, and I watch the play of emotions over his face.
He wants this. I know he does. I’ve seen him with kids. Imagined him as a Dad. And…I want it.
“But…” He starts. “You just…what about…you just graduated, Cassie. You’re about…to get everything you always wanted.”
I smile at him, and it comes from so far inside me I can’t even sense how deep it goes.
I run my thumb over the ring, and nod.
“Yes. I’m about to get everything I’ve always wanted.” I lean forward and kiss him, my arms around his neck. “Give it to me, Josh? We’ll make it work - you’ve shown me that. I’ll have both. Everything. You. A baby. My career.”