by Alisa Woods
“But you’re still a wolf, right?” Her voice was light, like she was still trying to puzzle out what he was saying.
He should just come out and tell her all of it. “Yes and no. My wolf is… large. Massive really. Twice the size of any normal wolf. And crazy strong. Plus he’s always been… well, a bit on the wild side.” He smiled a little and squeezed her waist, teasing her about her name.
She shook her head. “Maybe you’re not as wild as you pretend.”
That dropped the humor from his face. “My wolf has always been hard to control. And that was before…” He sucked in a breath, then just forced the words out. “When I was deployed, I lost control of my wolf, and a lot of people died because of it.”
She was frowning again, but not pulling away. “What happened?”
He gritted his teeth, but there was no holding back now. “My troop was on patrol. Afghanistan. We were going to check on a remote village that had some reports of insurgent activity. When we were almost there, our Jeep must have hit an IED or something—all I remember was being thrown in the air and shifting on the way down. After that… it’s a blur. I can only remember bits and pieces. The burning village. The people…” His voice hitched, and he had to choke back the horror and guilt welling up. “Later, when I woke up in a hospital, they told me—everyone in the Jeep died. The entire village had been wiped out. They were either blown up by the IED or torn to pieces by some kind of wild animal.”
Her eyes went wide. “You think it was your wolf?”
“It was my wolf, Piper.” He sighed. He could still see his patrol’s faces, just before everything went to hell—Owen, Wyatt, Anthony. He was the only one who came back. He hadn’t been able to face their families either, just slunk off to join Jaxson and Jared at Riverwise. “I can’t remember it all, just snatches of what happened that come back to me in my dreams. My nightmares. But I was there—in the village—or rather, my wolf was. I can smell the burning flesh. I can see the fear in their eyes—” He had to stop and look away from her beautiful, concerned face. He couldn’t change what had happened, and he would forever regret losing control, but the only thing that mattered now was making damn sure it never happened again. He cleared his throat and looked back to her. “The tribunal investigating the incident ruled it technically as an “accident.” But they left the cause as “unknown attack by a wild animal.” They let me leave with an honorable discharge. But it’s a lie—I know it, and they know it.” He gently touched his fingertips to her cheek. “It means I can’t ever shift again. I can’t submit to my alpha, I can’t take a mate… I can’t ever be anything more than a man. And some days, I feel lucky to even have that chance.”
A roil of emotions churned across Piper’s face, and he half expected her to bolt. Instead, she moved slightly in his lap, her beautiful soft skin sliding against his, and gripped his cheeks with both of her small hands.
She gave him a fierce look. “You are a good man.”
He closed his eyes briefly. “Piper—”
“Shut up. I’m talking.”
His mouth hung open for a second, then he smirked. “Yes, Ma’am.”
But she didn’t say anything else—she just gripped his cheeks harder and kissed him. It was intense and fast and the taste of her, the feel of her grinding against him, sitting naked in his lap, made his cock spring to attention. By the time she pulled back, he was breathing hard again.
“I like the way you talk,” he said, the smirk still playing on his face.
“Now you listen to me,” she demanded, eyes blazing. “You are one of the bravest, most selfless, most honorable men I’ve ever met. And there’s no way in hell you took out a village of innocent civilians. I don’t care what form you were in.”
His shoulders dropped. “Piper, please—”
“I’m still talking.” She mock glared at him, and he couldn’t help it—it wrenched another smile out of him. “If you don’t want to shift, fine. If you want to believe your beast is something different than you, fine. But I want you to know that I know the truth about you, Jace River. And the truth is, you’re good and decent, through to the core, like no one I’ve ever known. You’re the kind of man I’d trust with my life… the kind I’d trust with my heart. And there are literally no others in that category.”
She held his gaze. It took a long moment for him to realize what she said, and more importantly: she wasn’t running away. Then she leaned in and kissed him again, slower this time, less intense but more erotic, like her tongue wanted to take its sweet time exploring his mouth. He couldn’t believe she was still here, still kissing him, still naked in his lap, when she knew—she knew—everything that he was. He held her tight and kissed her back. But when she reached down to stroke his raging hard-on, he caught her wrist and pulled it away.
“I can’t.” His voice was heavy with lust. God, how he wanted her to keep going. “It’s not safe. My beast almost broke loose before—”
“You’re not going to hurt me.” The confidence in her voice was… insane. Did she not hear all the things he just explained?
“I mean it, Piper.”
“Shut up. I’m talking again.” But she wasn’t—she was sliding off his lap to kneel between his legs on the floor in front of him.
“Piper, what are you—” But he didn’t have to ask, because she gripped his cock and slid her hot little mouth over it. “Fuck.” The feel as she took him deep in her throat, the insanely erotic sight of her lips sliding over him, her tight fist stroking the length that she couldn’t take in… all of it made his eyes roll back in his head. He gripped her hair in his fist to stop her, but she just sucked harder and wrenched a moan out of him. He ended up guiding her head as it bobbed in his lap, and he struggled to breathe between strokes.
To his surprise, his wolf was quietly humming with the pleasure she was giving him, but staying buried. After a long delicious minute of this, his sanity returned, and he gently lifted her mouth from where it was greedily devouring him.
“Dammit, woman,” he said, breathless. “I told you, I can’t do this.”
“And I’m going to prove you wrong.” She pushed him back on the bed. “Scoot to the head of the bed, soldier.”
He grinned, in spite of the fact that she was playing with fire. But his wolf was quiet, at least for the moment. If it started to claw its way out again, the way it did when Jace had her up against the door, then he would just have to pull away. Sooner, this time.
He edged backward and leaned against the pillows propped at the head of his bed. “What are my orders, Captain?”
She crawled across the bed toward him, her hungry gaze dropping to his cock then springing up to lock him with an intensely sexy look. “Your mission is to see how long you can hold out.” When she reached him, she straddled him, poised over his cock, placing it right at her entrance. Her gorgeous breasts were level with his face. She peered down at him with a lascivious smile. “You’re also allowed to enjoy the view.”
“I’m going to enjoy the hell out of this view.” He palmed both of her breasts, bringing one tight nipple to his mouth. Then she quickly sank down on his cock. He groaned, releasing her breast from his mouth and slipping one hand to the small of her back to balance her as she started to ride him. His head tipped back against the headrest for a moment, then he snapped his eyes open again. He wanted to see the pleasure she was taking from him, breasts bouncing before his face, her own head tipped back as her breathing quickened. God, she felt so good. He didn’t know how far he could take it—his wolf had come out mostly when he was close to his own release—so he needed to get her there first. He reluctantly dropped the hold he had on the heavy globe of her breast and slid his hand down to rub her hot little nub.
She gasped when he touched her sex, and he knew that would take her there fast—and him, too. It was so damn sexy, watching his cock disappear into her. He would never be able to claim her, he never be able to sink his fangs into her and make her his mate, but if he could k
eep his wolf under control, maybe he could keep her with enough of this—his love, his protection, and all the hot orgasms she could stand.
“Oh, God, Jace!” she cried out, and he could feel her tightening around him. He breathed through his teeth, trying to forestall his own release, all while flicking his thumb across her nub with one hand and grabbing her breast with the other. He twisted her nipple to give her that small touch of pain to tip her over the edge. She screamed his name and came undone around him, convulsing around his cock, and suddenly, his own climax rushed at him.
No, no, no… but it was there, coursing white-hot pleasure through him, more intense than anything he’d felt before. Through the blinding haze of release, he could tell—he was still human. He groaned with relief and pleasure as she rode the last waves and then collapsed on him, burying him in the softness of her arms and her breasts in his face, wrapped around him, kissing him.
He rolled to the side with her, both of them collapsing with their pleasure spent. She cuddled into him—complete trust, complete openness, every small part of her spread wide to him. It was the most sublime feeling he’d ever known, and he couldn’t stop touching her, all over, just skimming his hands and reveling in her nearness. Her soft kisses were slowing, and a drowsy haze was calming his motions, too. They remained locked together, tangled but utterly comfortable in each other’s arms.
She nibbled up his neck to his ear and whispered, “I told you so.”
He huffed a small laugh. She was right—he’d kept his wolf contained—but he had no idea if it would happen the next time. Or the next. He couldn’t be sure of any of it. But at the moment, all he cared about was the soft whisper of her skin against his.
He held tight onto the warmth of her against him, and before he knew it, he was swiftly tumbling into sleep.
Chapter Twelve
Piper’s eyes were still closed when the sun moved onto her face. She squinted her eyes open and peered at the window—the sun’s early morning glory was blazing through. Jace’s arms were wrapped around her, still spooning her from behind and draping his arm and leg across her body in the most delicious blanket she would ever have.
She was so in love with this man. Last night had been amazing—hot sex, revealed secrets, and the thrill of making him come without unleashing that wildness he didn’t think he could control.
He was so wrong about there being an evil part of him, something that killed people. She knew with absolute certainty, deep in her being, that Jace River was nothing but good, through and through. There is no way his beast had done anything like what he believed. She had no idea what the real story was behind his time in Afghanistan, but she knew the fog of war clouded the sharpest minds. Something had happened to him over there, and once she found Noah and the other shifters, she would get to the bottom of it.
She had never wanted a mate—the very idea still curled knots of tension inside her stomach—but when she looked at this beautiful man lying next to her, sleeping soundly on his bed, she saw possibilities that had never been open to her before. She’d never wanted anyone the way she wanted him. The idea of submitting still ran shudders through her mind and her body—it was a complete domination, as far she could tell. Her father, the Colonel, certainly had used every ounce of magic to dominate her mother and turn her into an empty shell of a woman. But Piper couldn’t imagine Jace ever doing anything like that, especially to a woman he cared for and loved.
He said he wanted to love her. She could tell by the look in his eyes when he said it that he didn’t mean the hot sex, the driving of his cock into her body which he held out as a reward for her staying in his arms. He meant he wanted to give her his heart—something she still could hardly believe. It was like a fantasy come to life.
Jace made a soft breathy sound, like he was rising up from the depths of his sleep. It killed her that he refused to take a mate. Not that it should be her—the idea still ran shivers through her—but he deserved everything that was good in this world, and for Jace River, having a mate was one of those things. In the end, if she could cure him of this belief that his wolf was dangerously wild, and she was still too afraid to submit to him herself, then she would have to let him go. Make sure he was free to claim a mate who deserved everything that he was.
Jace stirred, his hands sweeping across her body and sending an echo of the delicious pleasure he’d given her multiple times. He yawned and slowly opened his eyes. He blinked at her, then suddenly jerked out of bed, scrambling away from her. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and he stared at her with wild eyes.
“We fell asleep!” he panted.
“Well, you did wear me out, soldier.” She gave him a sexy grin that she hoped would be an invitation for him to come back to bed and give her more reasons to be tired.
But he just shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. “I told you… I have nightmares.” His hand stilled, his face paled. He scanned her naked body with a critical, unpassionate eye, as if looking for injuries. “My wolf comes out at night.”
“I told you—you would never hurt me.”
He rubbed both of his hands over his face and took a deep breath. Then he shook his head and slowly climbed back into bed with her. “We have to be more careful than that. I really can’t control it at all when I’m sleeping.” He gestured to the door. “I don’t have a lock on there for nothing.”
She touched her fingertips to his face and gazed into his eyes. Her touch seemed to calm him. Her wolf was practically purring inside her with just that small connection.
“I know you don’t believe it,” she said. “But I know your wolf would never hurt me. Someday, I’m going to prove it to you.”
He leaned in to kiss her, softly and gently, then pulled back. “I’m broken, Piper. If you’ll have me, at least for now, I’ll take whatever you’ll give.” He kissed her again, snuggling in closer, pressing their naked bodies to one another. His morning erection was calling to her hand, so she reached down to stroke it. He pulled her hand away.
“Maybe later,” he said. “We have to get up sometime.”
She pouted, and it wasn’t much of an exaggeration. Her body couldn’t get enough of his.
He gave her a bashful look, dipping his chin and looking up at her through his lashes. “I meant everything I said last night… but I didn’t know you didn’t want a mate. Or maybe that you think you shouldn’t because of what happened to your mother. But I want you to know that you should, someday. If you find someone you want. You shouldn’t deny yourself that. I’ll always protect you, no matter what. Everyone should have someone in their corner, and I’m that for you. Forever. Whether I can have you in my bed, or not, is just an extremely awesome potential bonus.” He gave her a small smile. “But I will admit that the idea of another man’s hands on you at the moment could actually turn me into a homicidal maniac. In human form.”
She grinned. Jace had already ruined her for all other men, and he didn’t even know it. She looped her leg over his hip, bringing her still-damp core closer to his still-hard erection. “There is only one man’s hands I want on me right now, only I can’t seem to get him to put them in the proper place.” All this talk of mates they couldn’t have just made her more determined to prove to him that his wolf was good.
He groaned, a sexy frustrated sound, and slid his hand between her legs, making her gasp.
“I’d like nothing more than to play with your body all day,” he whispered against her skin between rapidly speeding up breaths. “But we really do need to get downstairs and be ready to move, in case the coven comes through for us.”
Piper pulled in a deep breath, kissed him hard, and then wrenched her body away from his. Her wolf growled her disapproval. “You really are no fun at all, Jace River.” But she was joking, because he was absolutely right—finding Noah took precedence over everything else. And she loved that he was staying on target with that.
They quickly dressed, but she had to fight a massive surge of lust again wh
en Jace insisted that they shower together for “maximum efficiency.” It did get them downstairs sooner, if a lot less satisfied.
Jared was already in the kitchen, scarfing down eggs and bacon and toast. He looked utterly unsurprised to see them stumbling in together, hand-in-hand, hair still wet from the shower. He grunted a kind of “good morning” acknowledgment and finished off his plate. While he rose up to clean his plate, Jace dug out some eggs and cheese from the refrigerator and proceeded to cook in front of her eyes.
“Are you kidding me?” she asked, eyes wide. “You’re saying that you cook as well?” She meant in addition to being extremely hot in bed—and every other fine feature the man had—but she wasn’t going to say all that in front of Jared.
Jace just grinned, not breaking stride as he cracked the eggs and sent sizzling sounds and smells of deliciousness throughout the kitchen.
Piper tap Jared on the elbow, catching him before he left the kitchen—he jerked back in surprise at the touch. She frowned and wondered if Jace was the only River brother with some kind of dark secret. Jared had the look of a haunted man, and it didn’t seem to be just his personality, like some people were. Piper had learned to judge people quickly in the field, sizing them up by their facial tics and their verbal and nonverbal responses, even in the most innocuous of situations. Jared was a man who was carrying something deep inside him, a burden he didn’t think he could ever put down, so he took it with him everywhere.
“I was just wondering,” she said, with a forced lightness, “if you’d had any more luck in finding Agent Smith?”
He shook his head, frowning. “No, but I’ve been thinking about what you said last night, about the Senator and his plans to register shifters. That’s something that can’t happen.”
“It absolutely can happen,” Jace said from the stovetop, where he was almost finished with the eggs. “Politicians are sick bunch—they will happily put people at risk, destroy lives, and ruin businesses, all for a few more votes. And to hold onto their power.”